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Changing Terms of a Divorce

My husband and I have been together for 19 years and married for 13. We have two sons ages 16 and 9. They are the most wonderful things in my life! My husband and I have our share of problems which go back for years. When we argue my husband makes our 16 year old come in the room and listen and watch everything. He puts me down and calls me names in front of my kids. I feel so degraded, so awful about myself, with no self esteem left.

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Well this year my husband gives me an ultimatum, either sign divorce papers or I have to get out of the house knowing I have nowhere to go. So I signed the papers. All I get is my car and joint custody with child support. He decided how much to pay and could very well be paying more.

Well we're divorced now and still live together for the time being. My question is can I go and change some things on the divorce papers since I was forced into signing them in the first place?

By Be

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August 30, 20130 found this helpful

Both of you should have had attorneys and had a meeting including the attorneys to divide things up. He can't just decide what is what. Also the amount of child support should be determined at that meeting or in court. Instead of staying in the house take your sons and go to an abused women's shelter. Did your husband have an attorney or did he find some papers online and print them out?

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August 30, 20130 found this helpful

Both of you should have had attorneys and had a meeting including the attorneys to divide things up. He can't just decide what is what. Also the amount of child support should be determined at that meeting or in court. Instead of staying in the house take your sons and go to an abused women's shelter. Did your husband have an attorney or did he find some papers online and print them out?

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August 31, 20130 found this helpful

Get to an attorney or a legal aid office now! Don't listen to another word this guy says and Do not tell him what you are planning to do. Take all your paperwork with you. It might be a good idea to talk to the police dept. about getting an article of protection against this guy, because to me he sounds abusive. Stop signing papers he shoves in front of you, think of your kids, stand up for them and yourself! You can do it! A local women's center can help you and direct you to some good legal advice. Good Luck.

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September 1, 20130 found this helpful

This doesn't make sense. Did you read the so called divorce papers you signed? Have these divorce papers been recording in the county in which you live? Are you even sure you're divorced. I don't think you can believe anything he says. Furthermore, he can't set the amount of child support; that's determined by his income.

You stated he said sign the divorce papers or get out of the house. That too, doesn't make sense. My Daughter just recently divorced and while in that marriage she knew nothing about the finances, bills, debts, etc. He kept it all from her and she didn't push the issue. In the divorce she probably lost a lot because all she now knows about is the debt and now he appears to have had money hid from her. Little too late it appears. I hope to goodness you're not in that situation.

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September 1, 20130 found this helpful

When you allow him to humiliate you in front of your kids, what you're doing is teaching your son how to treat women. Do you want that for your son? Take my advice, been there, done that. It's not too late. You are a doormat and your husband doesn't respect you. Respect yourself or your kids won't respect you either.

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September 3, 20130 found this helpful

You need to see an attorney for several issues. You need to know if the divorce was legal (properly drawn up and filed) If not you get a chance to start over and do it right. When it comes to custody; in my view your husband bringing the children in to witness arguments is child abuse. The courts may or may not see it that way. But you need to find out.

It needs to be recorded for future reference. This man sounds like a loose cannon. And certainly not a fit father. Perhaps he will lose a little bully and bluster when facing someone other than a terrified woman. What a man! Get into the court system where you have some protection. In most divorces with underage children the woman gets the house, and Dad moves out.

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