My name is Luke and six months ago my wife left me and our daughters for another guy and moved away and told us not to contact her. I have 3 daughters, Emma (13), Jane (10), and Ellen (8). Because I am a single working dad I haven't got time or the money to take care of my girls hair, as their mum did all that. They all have straight waist length brunette hair.
So because I'm so busy and can't take care of their hair, I'd like to know your opinions on how and if I should cut their hair, how much to cut off and whether I should take them to a salon or barber? I was thinking something a lot shorter like a very short crop with a high nape shave or possibly a crewcut so I wouldn't have to take them so often and it would be easy for them to handle.
I know they will be upset, but they know I wouldn't do it without reason, so they will understand. What does everybody think?
HI Luke: Ask your girls what they would like. It would be hard on them if you made them cut their hair so short. Hair is very important for girls of all ages. It's all about compromise, maybe just get a trim. Its a little easier to handle shoulder length hair. Beauty schools are a cheaper alternative than salons. There is plenty of information online or at the library on how to do hairstyles.
I am not sure that your question isn't a spoof; but in case it is legitimate, I would really advise against cutting their hair very short. They have lost enough. The two older ones are old enough to take care of their own hair, and to help their little sister, too. Make sure they have shampoo and conditioner and a good wide-tooth comb. After they wash their hair, they put conditioner on and comb it through. When rinsing, they try not to tangle it; and don't rub to dry, wrap in a towel and squeeze gently. Long hair kept in braids stays tidy a long time.
If you insist on cutting; go to a beauty school (which will cost less) and ask for something "low maintenance". Make sure it is cute. Leave it long enough to go into a pony tail easily, and just make sure you keep plenty of pony tail holders around. (You can buy them at the dollar store.)
If your story is real, you are overwhelmed, and rightly so. But don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family.
Your girls will probably have an idea of what's "cool" right now and what looks they like already. Maybe the oldest one could help make sure her sisters are styled for school and what have you. Just simple things like headbands and hair ties can make a style.
I agree that hair is very important to girls. especially at that age, and I wouldn't force any kind of haircut on them. Most shopping malls have hair salons that aren't too expensive and they might have some ideas for easy to manage styles that your girls will like.
Do you live in the UK? You used the word "mum" instead of "mom," so I was wondering. Here in the US we have places like Supercuts and Great Clips that cost less than other salons, but they would probably be better than taking your girls to a barber shop for men. I don't know if they have similar places in the UK. We've used Great Clips, because there is one right next to the Target we use. My husband and daughter (8 years old) have both gotten decent haircuts there.
I would not recommend a crew cut for a girl, unless SHE wants it. Especially if she has waist-length hair; that's such a dramatic change. And I'm afraid other kids would pick on her for a crew cut. Kids can be very cruel about such things. A crew cut would take a very long time to grow out.
My daughter has chin-length hair. It's all one length. She shampoos it herself, but I usually pop into the bathroom to make sure she's rinsing it well. Sometimes she misses getting all the shampoo out behind her ears. Since we got her hair cut to this length about a year ago, it has been easier to take care of (it was probably down to her shoulder blades before). She wanted her hair cut to this length, we did not force it on her. She can brush it out and part it herself. If the girls already have some hairpins or clips, take a handful along when they get their haircuts, and ask the stylist if she can show you (and the girls) an easy way to clip back their hair. If you explain that you're new to this, she probably won't mind showing you one or two ways to pin their hair. Having a few headbands is nice, too. Right now big bows and fluffy flowers seem pretty popular, and you can buy headbands with the flowers already attached. There are different styles of headbands (rigid plastic, soft flexibly rubbery, and stretchy fabric). You might have to try different styles to find out what they like, so don't buy the fancy (more expensive) ones at first. Assuming their mum had supplies for taking care of their hair, they may already have hairbands.
If your girls aren't willing to cut a lot of length off at one time, maybe they will be able to try 4-6 inches at a time. But, as it has already been pointed out, at their age they can do a lot on their own. It might be helpful for you to learn a simple braid. But unless mum was doing absolutely everything for them, at least the 13 year old should be able to braid.
You sound like you want to take care of them, but like you're dealing with a whole lot at one time. I was thinking that maybe you could have a "salon night" at home. After their hair cuts, take one weekend evening and make it an event. Get out the hairpins, clips, and hairbands. You could check out a book or two about hairstyling from the library. Do you have a female friend or relative who could come along and help out? Everyone could help each other try out new things with their new hair cuts. You could pick up a package of small cookies or cupcakes and let the girls feel like they're doing something fun and special. Hopefully they'd be less resistant, and it would be a fun, safe way to experiment.
Sorry you're going through rough times. You can get through this. I hope everyone loves their new hair styles!
Your daughters are old enough to have some say in their hair. If waist length hair is hard to manage, shoulder length would be much easier. Ask them for suggestions. They are girls, not boys. No crewcuts. You can't be serious. Have them braid their hair or wear a ponytail to keep it neat.
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