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When asking a child to do something that you want him or her to do, it is better to use a noun, such as "chair" and point to the chair rather than saying "sit" and pointing to the chair. The last one sounds like a command. I am researching the types of communication that helps children the most, including those with special needs.
By Robyn Fed from Hampton, TN
My Mom would just say "Time Out" and we knew exactly what to do. She'd better not have to say it twice either. She did a lot of child care for our friends after we were grown and had children, and there was one little special needs child that she kept a lot for the mother to work. Evelyn knew "Time Out" as good as we did, and there was a special chair that we had to sit in for Time Out. She would go and sit in the chair and smile all the while. When 5 minutes were up, mother would always come and get us and ask us if we knew what we did wrong or why we had to sit in the Time Out Chair.
She didn't tell you what you did wrong, she let you tell her.
I love the "reward instead of punishment system" best of all, but I must say I think it works better on boys than it does on girls. It's really too bad that kids don't come with instruction books. Parents have to learn it all by themselves and just when they think they know all about it, they'll have a child that doesn't fit the mold, and they have to start all over again.
Good Luck with your research Robyn.
That is the coolest thing I have read in too long. Thanks!
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When my first child was born nearly 30 years ago, I was given a plaque. On it was a guideline for raising children. Something like "Children become what they learn. Example: A child raised with criticism learns to become critical. A child raised love learns to become loving..."
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte