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Leaving an Abusive Boyfriend?

I am 19 and my boyfriend abuses me. He threatens to hurt me if I don't have sex with him, if I don't answer the phone, if I make him repeat himself, actually if I don't do what he says when he says it it's a problem. Even if it's for something small like me wanting to go home to my family. He is keeping me at his house, but I want to go home. He threatens to hurt my family if I tell them or if I try to leave the country. I can't call the police because he has too many connections and the island is corrupt so the police don't help in these kind of situations.

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What I'm asking is what are the steps I can take to convince him to let me go home to the states without him trying to hurt me or my family. He is physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive. I need to know the steps to take or maybe something I can say to make him want me to go home. He has anger issues; so my opinion doesn't matter to him. I just really want to go home and I don't know what to do. Please help me.

By Alyssa

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Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 186 Feedbacks
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

There has to be some branch of law enforcement that can help you. Basically nobody else can help you get off the island. Just what country has domain over the island? There has to be some law enforcement that you can contact. Do some snooping, he can't have control over all law enforcement. How did you get yourself into this mess?

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If this island is part of the US, I would think being you are being held against your will, it might amount to being the same as kidnapping. Call the FBI and talk to them. Also you must have some friends on the island, that aren't completely sympathetic to him. But nobody, other than law enforcement isn't going to be able to help you get off the island, without risking injury or death to you or some of them.

In the meantime, play it cool, and lay as low as you can, don't try arguing with him or anything, stay as far away from him as you can. Also there must be times that he is at work or something, that you should be able to do things on your own.

 
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

You don't tell him anything. You wait 'till he's gone from the house, get your stuff together, slowly if necessary, pick a day to pack and go to a battered womens shelter. The phone book, Churches, social services, policemen, whoever, can tell you where the nearest one is. Just go. Get out now, because it isn't going to get any better. Have some respect and liking for yourself, knowing full well you don't deserve anything he's dishing out, and leave.

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Or go to a friend's house, (not to family...he'll find you there) & hide out 'till you can get to a shelter.

DON'T wait. You can get the rest of your stuff later when you have a pro-bono lawyer giving you advice. Call your family after you're in the shelter.

 
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

Also, tell your family and the police about the threats AFTER you've left. They can protect themselves as best they can, but you take care of YOU first. You're worth it.

 
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

It will only get worse. You are only 19. Believe me. You don't mention what island you are on. You need to contact (email or text) your family and let them know the situation so they can help you get away from him.

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They can bring the matter to the attention of authorities off the island who can help and are not corrupted.

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 846 Posts
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

First, you don't say where your home is and where you are now. If you will share that information I will be more than happy to help guide you to the safest place to go and from what you've written here it sounds like your home is in another country. I for certain can find out what the safest way/place for you to get away is if that is the case . Embassy as the safest means comes to mind and I can't imagine there is a country that does not have an embassy. Please, share the info needed because with the details you can be helped. Am saying prayers for you and please be careful!

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 969 Posts
June 7, 20120 found this helpful

Redhatrb is right on the money. Kidnapping is being held against your will just as it's taking you somewhere you don't want to go. If you can email us, you can email someone to get you some help.

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I don't know what island you are speaking of, but if it's somewhere with an American Consulate then you can contact them. Here is what google has and I am sure there are more.

www.usembassy.gov/

Contact your family and if necessary, have them help as well.

Find someone who will hide you for a few weeks until you can leave. And when this is over, don't worry about how you got into this mess, but that you got out. That is all that matters.

Please let us know when you are free and we will all be able to exhale. PBP

 
June 8, 20120 found this helpful

Looks like the other folks here have many of the same answers I would have shared. Shooting prayers for you to get out and get out quickly. Be safe. God bless.

 
June 13, 20120 found this helpful

It's called brutalizing, threatening, and rape! He doesn't have to do the actual rape, but he is raping you by threatening you that way. Call the police in your town and get out now! Go to a shelter for abuse and battered women called the YWCA.

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You will have to sign a no contact order to stay there and you can get that when you call 911 on that jerk you call a boyfriend. He isn't being a friend to you is he?Don't think, act. It can save your life!

 
June 16, 20120 found this helpful

Tell your parents.

 

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