Parental Consistency

Is it harmful that my husband encourages our 10 year old to not tell me about things that they've purchased at the store that I've already said no to? My husband thinks it's cute and I am really upset that he is teaching my son to deceive me. I thought we were trying to teach him right from wrong, but my husband thinks it's innocent.

By Tanya

Answers: Parental Consistency

Read answers for this question below.

By 06/02/2012

He is setting a bad example and precedent for your son. If one parent has already said no, there needs to be discussion between both parents before that changes.

By 06/02/2012

It is wrong, and it is not okay. You need to have a serious talk with him and your son.

By 06/02/2012

You are right, and your husband is very, very wrong. He is teaching your son to lie, and to pit one parent against another. He probably does not realize it, but he might be trying to win your son's love, to be "nice Daddy" while you are "mean Mommy". It probably seems like innocent fun to him, But it will have serious consequences down the line. Tell your husband that he is rewarding his son for lying and keeping secrets from Mommy. Ask him how he will feel when your son is 16 and thinks that deceiving his parents is OK. What seems "cute" when they are little can be very unattractive when they are grown. Good luck.