The reward system worked like a charm for me. Every time my children used the potty, they got an M&M out of the jar. (07/04/2006)
Bedwetting in an otherwise toilet-trained child is not about toilet-training. These kids usually sleep so soundly that they don't feel the urge. Talk to your doc if this persists in kids who are fully trained and still wet only at night after 4 or 5 . Enuresis (night-time wetting) is more common in boys than girls and often is more prevalent in boys whose father was a bedwetter, too. Other than that bit of info, all the other posts are right on-reward, do not punish, and let the over 3's clean and change themselves and even strip their own beds and bring soiled or wet things to the laundry. (07/04/2006)
* Tell him you are not his mother therefore you do not have to clean him. Also, this is the way it is done in this house! Just remember to be kind.
* Slightly different: When I broke my last glass bottle at the age of 18 months, my mother told me that the other bottles in May's Chemist were for little babies, implying: No more bottles for you! And I was fine. (07/04/2006)
By Carol Churchill
I tried everything, and i mean EVERYTHING to potty train my son. he was even turned down for preschool because he was still in pull ups. i broke down asked my sons pediatrician what to do. he told me to leave him alone, he'll go when he's ready. he said theres absolutly nothing that will make him use the potty until hes ready to use it. so i did. i quit fighting with him, and just left him alone about it. i bet it wasn't 2 weeks later i heard him on the potty, declaring himself potty trained, and he has been since. at that age, that is about the only thing they have complete control of, wether to use the potty or not. we make all the other decisions for them, so when its time, they'll decide and let you know. (07/04/2006)
We were foster parents and had to take lots of classes, and I do mean lots! We were told that kido's think there loosing parts of them and are afraid to use a potty or toilet. We were told to make a game of it, like if there peeing , sing a song of Oh, I hear it raining or thundering when there pooping. Also, as someone else said , for a little boy put things in the potty that he cane aim at. It does work, but, it's time consuming cause YOU have to stay on top of everything. Good Luck (07/10/2006)
By Megan's mom
Potty training can be difficult regardless of the home situation of a child BUT I would say that could be part of the problem with your nephew. Instead of letting him roam bare, I suggest some really "cool" BIG BOY underwear. Make a big deal about, and let him help pick them out. Maybe part of the reason he is being so stubborn is because he is looking for attention, regardless of what kind. Children do that when they feel neglected or ignored. I would say lots of POSTIVE reinforcement. My son was really tough to potty train but the "cool" underwear really made a HUGE difference. He hated to mess up his BIG BOY undies. Remember patience and love goes a LONG way. (07/11/2006)
You noticed that he chooses not to go, so now what you have to find out is how to make him choose the potty. Punishments aren't going to do it - how likely are you to do something for someone if they're yelling at you, berating you, or doing things you don't like? You've got to remember that at his age the potty training is really to make your life easier - going in a diaper is easier for him - so you have to give him a reason to want to do this. Especially if he's from a home that wasn't most stable, praise and attention will help a lot. Talk to him about why he should use the potty (cleanliness, he'll be a big boy, you'll be proud of him, etc.) teach him how to use it, and then step back and let him do his own thing. Bring it up occasionally by mentioning how you think he's smart enough and big enough to do it and then ask him if he'd like to try. Once he realizes that there's no pressure, that he'll get lots of praise if he does it, and that you're not going to flip out on him if he doesn't, then he'll be confident enough to do it and he won't feel the need to rebel against you.
I have 2 kids under the age of 7, one who loved potty training and another who loved to be stubborn though potty training. Here are some ideas I used with various rewards that did not use sweets:
First I bought a cheap little gum ball machine (Wal-mart, Walgreens, and even the Dollar Store often has these). You can fill it with something like Kix cereal or small Cheerios (if you DO choose candy, Smarties are a less sugary option that fits). My kids always loved using the gum ball machines to receive their reward! I used 2 small machines with two different choices of cereal so they could choose what they wanted each time.
Second, I allowed them to pick out some stickers at the store. I bought a piece of medium sized, bright colored poster board and made a chart with their name on top. They got to put a sticker on the chart each time. They would fill the chart to work towards a goal that they would choose. If it is a toy that they choose, or being taken somewhere like the zoo or Chuck E Cheese, it might help to have a small picture of the item or place taped to the end of the chart to remind them of what they are working so hard for.
A prize basket works great too! No candy needed (but bite sized candy bars and M&M packets may be fine for some parents too!) Go to the section of the store where you can find party favors. They often have lots of packages of small toys with the latest cartoon trend on them, and they are also cheap! Small cars for boys and lip balms or cute hair clips for girls are fun. If you like the idea of allowing them to receive stickers to stick all over the toilet but don't want to have to scratch them off later, choosing window adhesives are a great idea for sticking to the toilet, shower door or mirror! Individual adhesives are also a fun choice to put inside the prize basket. Wrapping the prizes allows them to get more excited. Not knowing what they may find in there will make them want to use the potty more, simply to discover the treasures in that basket!
If you want to add fun without rewards there are still ways to do it: I, too, use multi colored Cheerios for my son to aim at (he likes to pick the color he wants to throw in). Letting them pick out their new underwear can be an exciting thing to them, (or even new sheets for their bed) and they will be more likely to want to keep them clean if they chose them and like them. A fun step stool is great, either with a recognizable character on it or with stickers all over it (window adhesives come in handy here too to decorate the toilet seat).
Last but not least, my kids LOVED singing about it! We made up lyrics to sing that worked great for us. The verses sound like "This is the way we wash our clothes":
"This is the way we potty train, potty train, potty train! This is the way we potty train so we can be a big boy/girl!
This is the way that we go pee, we go pee, we go pee. This is the way that we go pee in the potty chair!
This is the way we wipe ourself, wipe ourself wipe ourself. This is the way we wipe ourself so we can be nice and clean!
This is the way we wash our hands, wash our hands, wash our hands. This is the way we wash our hands after we go potty!
I dry my hands off really good, really good, really good. I dry my hands off really good ... AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY!"
I hope these ideas work for some of you! Good luck! (05/21/2007)
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