My son will be 3 in 2 weeks and now I have another baby on the way. My problem is, is that he absolutely refuses to poopie in the potty. But he can pee like a pro.
We've tried praising him, bribing, scolding, and we are now to the point that once his diaper bag runs out, that's it, no more. We have no clue what to do anymore.
He's our first little one and despite advice I've read, I know my son well enough to know that dancing or stickers won't cut it with him. It's going to be a while before the diapers run out, but if he gets his bull-headedness on the kiddie gloves are coming off (haha). I'll keep ya'll posted on the progress.
By Tanya from Lancaster, OH
You may think this sounds crazy, but I use to sit my son on the toilet backwards. I would give him some of his cars or something he could play with while he did his number in the toilet. He would play for awhile on the tank lid with his toys. Then, praise him because he's done such a good job. Might help you. My kids were 17 months apart and I remember it was nuts at times. Also, I remember he got to get some "big boys underwear" when he was doing it the right way. That was his reward. Hope this helps. (02/14/2010)
You may want to hear this, but give up until the new baby is born. Then he may enjoy being a big brother. Right now he may want to be the baby while he can. 3 years old is not old for a boy to be training, at this point he is training you. Let him be, ignore the situation and things will work out. I never knew of any kids going to school with diapers, preschool is a great incentive also. Letting him change his own pants after a "mistake" could also make him think twice! (02/15/2010)
I must have been lucky. I had 4 boys and a girl. The girl of course trained faster than the boys. But they were all trained by two and the girl at 15 months. They always say that the parents are trained if it is done too early. Yes, it does take persistence, so you might say the parent is trained. But if it works, so what? I never had to bribe them, just had to tell them they did a good job. Sitting them backwards is an excellent idea if it works! (02/17/2010)
Be careful. A very good friend of mine had trouble getting her son to use the toilet as well. Long story short he had to be taken to the hospital for constipation and they were sharply reprimanded by their doctor with the threat of child protective services being called. She (the doctor) informed them to let the child take the lead in this area and it would work itself out. I feel that the medical community over reacted to the situation and probably could have handled the entire issue better. The line between raising a child and abusing one becomes blurrier each day. Good luck to you and please share if you find a "trick" that works with your child. (02/17/2010)
Definitely stop making this so important, he knows he's winning. Buy some fabulous "big boy" pants and show them. Say in a matter of fact tone that when he is a "big boy" and uses the toilet like big people he can wear them. Then put them up where he can see them, but not play with them. Go about your business. When you change him, do not scold, tease, or threaten, say nothing. It's just a thing you do. I suspect he loves the attention, so perhaps you can up that in other areas. He's a smart kid, he'll figure it out and some wonderful day, he'll say he's ready. (02/17/2010)
It is possible that it could be a sensory integration issue. It's not frequent, but some kids don't recognize the feeling of needing to go. You might try talking to an occupational therapist or physician before you take off the kid gloves. (02/17/2010)
By old dog
Make sure the child's feet can touch the floor, as in on a potty chair and not your toilet. Children need to be able to push using their feet, as the muscles used to have a bowel movement aren't yet developed. I read this in a Dr.'s column. Good luck! (02/17/2010)
By Liza Lou
I think it was Super Nanny who had this problem on one of her shows; find out what your son really loves to do or wants to do and make that part of your resolution. For example, if he loves to play video games, make sure he knows only boys who poop in the potty can play the games and stick to your guns. (02/17/2010)
You know your son well, if you know what bribes won't cut it with him. If that's the case, then you know that 3 is not too young to be honest with, or expect some sort of conformant behavior.
Just be straight forward. Let him know when the baby comes he will have to do it, because it will be a big help to you. Tell him honestly what you expect, and why he has to do it. Let him know you'll appreciate him being such a big boy.
If people think 3 is too young to understand honesty and straight talk, they are nuts. He's not too young to learn, and it will help you both, so there's no shame in wanting him to do something he could do, if there is no medical reason he can't. (02/17/2010)
My nephew was 18 months when he first pooped on the potty. He's almost two now. If we let him run around with no diaper, he knows to go potty. If he has a diaper on, he poops in it. We also taught him to sit backwards on the toilet. (02/18/2010)
Don't know if you're using a potty chair or the Big Boy toilet, but ( light years ago!) my son was just like this.
Our problem ended up being that he just didn't want to use the "baby" potty chair and leaving his droppings on the floor was something he didn't want to do, either. I covered an old phone book with contact paper to create a washable step-up and for him. That's all it took, along with taking off the diapers and the training pants altogether when indoors. He didn't want to poop on the floor, either.
Remember: he'll train in his own time; they all do. Also remember that there's payback: my little pooper was tearing his hair out when his firstborn gave him potty trouble :) (02/18/2010)
I threw a handful of Cheerios in the toilet and told my son to sink the submarines. It worked really well. (02/18/2010)
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