Knowing when someone needs a power of attorney and exactly what authority it gives the bearer is important. This guide is about the responsibilities of a power of attorney.
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I strongly suggest if you have a parent still living that they make you power of attorney over them, in case something happens to them where they might have to wind up in the nursing home. The state will otherwise take their home and property.
By Wendy from Enid, OK
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Here are questions related to Responsibilities of a Power of Attorney.
Long story short, my BF lives in the United States, but I do not. He was incarcerated, but gave me power of attorney to try and sell his vehicles. The problem is his vehicles are under financing and a lean loan. Should I inform these companies that he is incarcerated? Or just tell them I have POA and need to know how to sell them? My fear is they will try to reposess them because no payments have or can be made on them. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
By Maggie R.03/06/2015
Unfortunately to sell 'Secured' property as you describe, it must be paid off prior to selling it...usually. I would recommend contacting the lean holders to work out a deal of some kind. Also the POA may be invalid if your boyfriend executed it while incarcerated as he has lost his Citizen rights, including entering into contracts, which a POA is. On the bright side, the lean holders do NOT want the property back. It's a money losing pain in the butt deal for them so if you contact them & are honest about the situation, they may allow you to sell the vehicles to satisfy the loans, at least. Hope this helps. Best Wishes.
My friend got arrested and they won't give his monthly trust to him. He gave me his POA. What can I do? She won't acknowledge me.
By Luann DeLuca 01/21/2014
If I get this right: friend arrested, who gets monthly money from trust fund; your friend has made you his/her Power of Attorney; "she" won't acknowledge you. First, who is "she"? Second, the procedure for giving someone Power of Attorney to take care of another's affairs, including trust fund money, will never be recognized just because Person A says that I want Person B (you) to be my POA. Sorry, but you won't be getting your friend's trust fund money.
Does the person who has POA for a parent, have a responsibility to provide financial reports to the other siblings?
By Loretta from IL
By Fionar Booker09/04/2010
No, the person designated with power of attorney doesn't have to provide financial reports.
If I have POA on my mom's banking account, do I have the right to transfer her money into my account if I feel she in not being competent with her money? Or is that illegal?
By Jessica E.
As her POA you have that right; however, you also need to be able at any moment to provide a paper trail of ANY activity with her money. As POA you have a responsibility to use her funds ONLY for her. You cannot pay your bills, mortgage, utilities, vacations, clothing or other expenses that do not pertain to your mother with her monies. Remember also, your mother can revoke her POA at anytime, unless she has been found incompetent by the Courts, (which to do this you would need to hire an attorney and go through the legal process).
Using his power of attorney, thinking he is protecting her assets from Medicare, my brother put my mother's stocks into his own account without my knowledge or hers. I have power of attorney as well. He refused to make it a joint account after she and I found out. He just promises he will give me my share when the time comes. He is using the dividends to pay some of her bills - not his own use. Was this legal? Should I trust him?
We are on good terms, but when it comes to money no one knows.
By Louise B. 09/07/2015
Any time people start moving money around to make themselves, or in this case, your mother, look poor when they are have assets, it can be problematic. If I were you, I would consult an attorney. Remember your Medicaid officials deal with people all the time; there is likely no scam or dodge that they haven't seen, and they are likely on the lookout for anything like this.
My dad has power of attorney of his father. He has had it for four years. When it was given he was it in sound mind. Now my dad's father has Alzheimer's. A family friend is trying to revoke my dads POA. My dad has done nothing wrong. How hard is it to revoke a POA and how do you contest it.
Yes, definitely seek advice of a lawyer asap, actually two or three, and make sure they give a free consultation when booking the appointments. You should also have a written list of questions ready to ask.
My husband's mother has dementia, but her doctor says it is not bad enough that she can't make her own decisions. We live in another state and my husband's aunt has been taking care of his mother. She disagrees with the doctor and thinks that mother needs to be in a nursing home. My husband agrees. Does the power of attorney give him the right to put her in the nursing home without her wanting that? They have tried to have Meals on Wheels come and also visiting nurses to help her out, but she is refusing all help. She is 84 and forgets everything. She will have a conversation with you and repeat the same thing 3 times within 5 minutes. She really can't take care of herself and the aunt is not able to continue helping her.
By Lisa M
By cybergrannie 04/09/2015
Are you saying your husband already has a POA?
There are several types of POA's so if he has one - then you would have to read it to determine what he can legally do.
A neurologist can make a better determination about the mental issue as well as discuss the present home situation. You generally need a referral from a doctor to be able to place someone in a home as the "home" usually has to know the condition of the patient before they will accept them.
There is a lot of financial information the home will need and if the person has any assets it may be advisable for you to discuss this with an attorney before the actual "move" is decided/completed.
How fast this decision is made should depend on the welfare of the person involved. It sounds like it will be a traumatic move for everyone involved.
My mother made me her durable power of attorney about six months ago. I am also executor of the will and her advance medical directive. My mother has dementia and needs constant care. She has enough money to pay someone to come stay with her for a few months, but then her savings will be gone. My younger brother has been living with her for 14 years and has never paid for anything. He has paid no rent, nothing on utilities. All he has ever done was to cut the grass. He says he can no longer help take care of her. He is gone constantly. As my mother's POA can I have my brother be made to pay rent and help with the bills? He says he has lived there so long that no one can make him leave or pay for anything. My mother is living off of Social Security and a small savings. She really needs the extra money to help pay for her care. Is there anything I can do to get him to help? Or have him evicted so we can rent out his downstairs apartment and help with my mom's care? It won't be long before she will have to be put in a nursing home. The only option will be to sell her home to pay for this. Does my brother have any legal right to stay there living for free?
By Donald H
By cybergrannie 03/24/2015
You certainly need legal advice as there are too many variables to be addressed.
You do not mention who the house goes to (will) but a nursing home will take the house no matter who is the "owner".
Your mother appears to need extra care right now and a live-in person may work but may be difficult to find - and keep - if you expect them to take care of the house (and the brother?).
As pointed out by another responder - be sure to check out several nursing homes before making any final decisions as many homes do not accept public (Medicaid) funds and a VERY large number do not accept patients with dementia/Alzheimers. This is usually a special type of facility so just ask what happens to my mother if she needs this type of specialized care.
The nursing home may place a "lien" on the home but may allow your brother to continue living in the home until it is sold to take care of the expenses incurred in your mother's care. However, they will probably not put out any money for maintenance/utilities etc.
All homes of this type are very expensive - usually running (in my area) 100 - 300 (and up) dollars a day plus any special items/medications/doctor visits etc.
At home care is also expensive but your decision should be based on what type of care your mother needs now and in the future.
I have had to make this type of decision and it is very difficult so maybe it would be good if you have someone to discuss this with that can assist you in finding the right solution.
My husband's grandfather made a will and left us his house in his will. His daughter's husband is the POA and they want to sell the house to pay for assisted living even thought he has money without selling the house. What are my husband's rights as far as inheriting the house?
Can we contest them selling the house out from under us?
By Louise B. 03/14/2015
I agree that you should consult a lawyer, but I expect that there is nothing you can do. I take it you are already living in the house. However, obviously your husband's grandfather isn't dead, and so his will has not taken affect. Is your husband's grandfather still able to make some decisions on his own, or is he totally incapacitated by dementia or ill health? Perhaps it is time to sit down with all parties concerned - grandfather, step-father or step-uncle who has the POA, grandson, mom, you, etc. - and see what can be accomplished by discussion.
I just recently received POA for my grandmother who has Alzheimer's. Can I still go on vacation? I've been planning this trip for awhile. I would be gone for a week.
By cybergrannie 03/10/2015
I would just like to add this comment:
Why do you feel you were given the POA?
What type of POA do you have?
Does this POA give you full responsibility over your grandmothers health decisions and financial decisions?
What do you feel your responsibilities are?
True - A POA can be just for financial things but most POA's are for health care decisions. POA's are only legal until that person dies so think about all of this and then make your decision.about taking a vacation.
I hope you are able to a take vacation knowing that your grandmother is well cared for in your absence.
My mom is 89 and has dementia. Let me say there is a substantial amount of money and posessions at stake. She and my now deceased dad made a living will and trust in 2000. My dad passed away 7 years ago. I have 1 brother and he is a prescription drug addict and an alcoholic. He is addicted to oxycodone and he also gives it to my mom which at her age could kill her and is taking advantage of my mom's mental state. In the living will I am to have Power of Attorney and if something happens to me then he will. A month and a half ago he took my mom to her attorney and had her change the Power of Attorney to him. He then changed all the locks on her house so I can not get in. I have had a key to her house for 30 years. What can I do to get the Power of Attorney changed back to me or to a neutral person. I live 5 mins from my mom. I go see her every day. I check on her. I go to the store for her. I cook for her, take her to her doctor appointments and dentist appointments. He does not even go see her, now that he had the Power of Attorney changed to him, unless she calls him and asks him to come fix something in her house. I have 1 daughter and 2 grandchildren and he will take everything she has unless this is changed. Please help me. Thank you so much!
By cybergrannie 12/03/2014
I would like to add: it appears that everything he is doing is legal with a full POA and what you do for your mother or what you have done in the past will not make very much difference, as long as he has a full POA.
My dad passed away in 2010. My mother just passed away in July of this year. We had her propane company come and get her tank. They owed her 178.00 dollars and sent a check in my dad's name. I called them and asked them to put it in my name since I am the executor of her estate and sole heir. They said they couldn't do that, and that if I had power of attorney I should be able to cash the check. Well they are both deceased. Can I make myself POA? Or does that make me POA?
By Rhoda Lange 09/01/2013
As stated by a previous response, a Power of Attorney is good only while a person is alive. Because you're the trustee of the estate, you should be able to sign and cash the check. Sign your dad's name, your name followed by the word, trustee.
My brother, who was incarcerated, asked me to be his POA. He is now out on parole and is still asking me to do things on his behalf. As POA am I a target if anything goes wrong? For example, bad business dealings on his part. I am helping him somewhat financially and do not want to be part of any bad dealings.
By cybergrannie 09/15/2015
Personally - I believe it may be time for you to remove yourself from being his POA. A POA is usually (but not always) used when the person cannot do these things for themselves.
Think about it - would you do whatever he is asking you to do if you were doing it for yourself? Because: - that is what you will have to answer to. Ignorance is never a reason/excuse when it comes to legal problems.
Why not help him with whatever you feel comfortable with and leave the rest to him?
I need to shrink a leather skirt. I'm seeing all theses things like put them in a dryer, wear the clothes wet to form to your body, but how do I know if these things are true? Help please.
By Louise B. 09/10/2015
I agree with the previous posters. I think you would ruin it if you attempted to shrink it. Take it to a seamstress and have it made smaller.
My sister went to her attorney and got a POA on our mother and she never discussed with me. The only way I found out was that she let it slip out of her mouth. I was shocked, I was really hurt by this. I know my mom has Alzheimer's, but I asked my mom did she sign any papers and she yes, but she didn't know what she signed. I just don't know why my sister did this. It is only the two of us and I am the oldest. What can I do about this?
By Sarah M 08/15/2015
Very difficult situation there. Are you having reservations that your sister can't be trusted?
Thankfully my parents are alive and well. There are 3 kids and I'm in the middle. My mother was doing their will last year and put me as the executor - once this got to my sister-in-law it caused quite a bit of friction, as her husband, my brother is the oldest... It's unfortunate that family members don't always trust other family members (and might have a good reason not to!) to fulfill their role in those tough decisions we make as our parents age.
My daughter has power of attorney for my husband. He has dementia and she has signed papers for him to go in to VA home. I, his wife, do not want him to go. Can I stop this?
By HerkDia 05/31/2015
We had an issue when my husband was dying of a brain tumor and my daughter threatened to get POA over both of us. I had the social worker at the hospital draw up a POA while he was there for my sake. But when I told them why I was doing it they told me as his wife, I had the final say on things. Check it out, not sure if you gave her permission to do this or not but I would seek advice from an attorney. I know how it is when others want to force you into doing something you don't feel ready for or is right.
My husband is in jail and needs a criminal defense attorney. The property is only in his name and he wants me to try to sell it. He wants to give me POA so I can try to sell it.
How would I go about doing this?
By mcw 05/26/2015
You can print off a free Durable Power of Attorney by doing a search on Google. In that way you can cut out the added cost of having a lawyer do the work. You have to fill out some information and have a section notarized at your bank. I did a free POA for my son while he was on active duty in the army.
My mother-in-law got a POA for her brother after he was hit by a car. He gets a disability check every month. When he got out of the hospital, he moved in with my mother-in-law and father-in-law. After 3 months they had to put him in a nursing home, because he was getting violent. Now that he is in a nursing home his insurance pays for his stay, so his disability check will still be coming in each month. My father-in-law strongly belives that they are able to spend his money just because he can't. I told him it doesn't matter if he can't spend it, it doesn't give you the right to spend it either. That my mother-in-law can spend it on things he needs and that's it.
By Dana R. 
By cybergrannie 04/25/2015
You do not say how long he has been in a nursing home. I'm not sure what type of insurance is paying for his "keep" but I agree that it will probably not last forever. I am also surprised that the nursing home did not ask/require a "back-up" form of payment.
It is for sure that spending any of that money for anything other than his specific care is illegal and will/can cause very serious problems.
Please try to get the in-laws to seek legal advise (one idea may be to go to the Social Security office) or maybe print the answers given on this site and let them read what a few other people think.
I have a medical POA for my father. Can my family come into my home and take my father and put him in a home when I disagree?
By Louise B. 03/14/2015
I think you have to consider what is in the best interests of your father. Why does you family want him to move? Do they think that you are taking advantage of him, or that you are not taking proper care of him, or perhaps that his care is too much for you do? Who is going to pay for his care in the future? Do they wish to move him because they think that he will be better off in a care home, or are they trying to take advantage of his funds or possessions? We can't advise you sensibly without knowing the full situation, and likely you need to talk this over as a family, and with your father's physician as well.
I have taken care of my mother's finances since my dad passed away 21 years ago. Only recently I became POA for her finances. I gave up the POA to my sister after we fought. I was told that I have to account for all checks made out to me (they were for her meds and living expenses that I paid for and then got reinbursed for). Do I need to go back 21 years or just as far as when I became financial POA?
I would check with a elder care lawyer to see if this is true. I became POA when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers and my brother, who lived with her, died ( (FYI, it is only in effect while the person is alive, once they die, the POA ceases immediately) but it was only for anything that needed to be done as per the originating date of the POA.
My friend's daughter has the POA for her. However, the daughter just recently went to the bank where the account was and moved the money out of my friend's account and started a new account in her name. Is that legal? First off, my friend had no knowledge until it was too late. My friend had already spoken to multiple employees of the bank days prior to this incident, attempting to get her money secured for the time being while she was in the process of getting her daughter removed as her POA. Well, after multiple employees told her how to secure her money, that next day her daughter was still able to walk in there withdraw the money and start a new account in the daughter's name. How is this possible? The daughter doesn't think what she's doing is a crime, because she is more or less trying to say that it's her money. I also noticed on one of your answers it says that a POA is supposed to use the money entirely on the person they are acting for. Well, from my understanding, the daughter has already spent a good majority of the money on her personal bills such as rent, etc. Altogether she probably has spent a little over 20 grand on all of these personal matters. Anyways, this is illegal right?
By gem 02/14/2015
It is legal in some states. Also you will find people are advised to do this to do a spend down later on to get into a facility. Most facilities will take everything you own if you cannot pay the rent. She also may be keeping it all for herself which is abuse and should be reported. Ask her first before you jump to conclusions. She may have been advised to do this. It is very confusing.
My husband is incarcerated and he has at least 6 homes that his dad has been taking care of, a system that has been working. Now his dad brought POA papers to my husband requesting he sign them, he didn't. My husband wrote a simple letter giving him power as overseer of the property, that's it! He had it notarized. Well his dad is really pushing this POA and I'm starting to question his motives. My question is why isn't the letter enough; why keep pushing for POA?
By Kelly R
By cybergrannie 01/28/2015
I do not believe anyone here can really help you with this as legal representation is what you need. A simple notarized letter granting your father-in-law as "overseer" of property does not give him very much legal control - not like a POA would.
Is your name on any of the property?
If not - why?
It seems for sure that your father-in-law wants more control than just "looking" after the property so it would be wise for you to try to protect what may be yours(?) and your husbands property.
You probably will not qualify for free legal services but you should try to find an attorney who is familiar with this type of situation.
I am my father's POA, he has been drinking to 300+ blood alcohol levels and as he begins to sober he starts again. Can I commit him?
By JM from Des Moines, IA
By Linda N.01/23/2015
No you cannot. Power Of Attorney, either for financial or health care, means that you can make decisions in the event your father cannot. It is not up to you to decide that he cannot. Only a court can do that as you are not yet his guardian. Call the probate court where your father lives and inquire about obtaining guardianship. His physician will have to fill out a bucket of paperwork, a court social worker usually must meet your father, and then a judge or magistrate will hold a hearing.
In most states, your father must be notified and has the right to attend and speak for himself. The judge will try to determine if he is a danger to himself or others, but even that 'danger to self' thing is tricky as the law gives folks the right to live as we choose. Usually this probate court process is not very expensive and any doc who has older patients has seen this kind of thing before. Good luck to you! (PS I am an eldercare social worker in Ohio.)
Is there supervision of the person to whom I give a POA to transfer my money, which is in the bank, to me? So he might not keep the money himself?
By M H.
By cybergrannie 11/12/2014
I certainly agree with Maw-Maw about not giving a durable power of attorney to just anyone but sometimes it becomes necessary - but - as I said it should be done through an attorney who will have final say. The POA would have the attorney's name AND (not or) another person approved by the one giving the POA.
That way any time anyone tries to use the POA, at least that would give some security with a second person approving what is trying to be done. This is not difficult but it will cost money each time the attorney has to review the POA. This can get expensive so it is best to not give a durable POA and leave all requests in a properly executed will or trust.
But - you can give a standard or durable POA with an ending date - even for just a day - so sometimes this may be the way to go.
A durable Power of Attorney can be revoked by filing with the court but few people go to the trouble to do this. Some people even forget that they gave a POA years in the past - but - without an ending date, the POA is good until that persons death.
Anyone senior dealing with a POA should try to have legal assistance even if it only with a senor citizens association. If the person is unable to visit their office, they will send someone to their house - at least they do in my area (Florida).
If my brother has a power of attorney and in the will it said our parents house has to be sold, do all siblings need to agree on selling price or can the person with the POA sell it for whatever price he wants?
By Jennie from Victoria, BC
By Louise B. 07/27/2011
Did you mean POA or did you mean your brother is executor of the will? It makes a difference to your question.
I think you should also heed Jilson's points. This is the sort of situation that could possibly create hard feelings for years. My ex's family has drifted apart over the years since his mom passed away and small resentments simmer under the surface that prevent them from being as close as they should be.
I need legal advice. My mother is on her death bed and my sisters have power of attorney and have refused me seeing my mom. She lives with one of my sisters. Some one please help me find out how to see my mom before she dies.
By cybergrannie 09/26/2015
This is really a sad situation.
Undoubtedly you and your sister have had problems of some sort before this happened. Is there anyway to make amends to rectify this situation?
A POA does not give your sister the right to keep you from seeing your mother - but - she does have the right to keep you from her home.
I recently helped someone in a similar situation and it worked out okay.
We visited the local police station and explained the situation. All they wanted was to be able to see their loved one who was very sick. A police officer met us at the address and politely asked if we could visit this person if the officer was present. It was arranged and everything went smooth for a 15-20 minute visit.
If time is of the essence, then you may wish to try something like this.
I hope you will be able to see your mother and also - maybe make amends with your sister.
Is it legal for the person holding a power of attorney to keep a family member, who has been living with the parent all her life, from seeing the parent after he moved the parent out without notice?
By joan 09/17/2015
From a long talk with my lawyer about POA, this is going beyond the POAs authority. Unless the parent has been declared mentally incompetent to handle their affairs by professional medical people, the POA has no authority.
My two brothers have POA over my mother. She has been diagnosed with dementia and one of them took my mother to the DMV and filed for a lost title to her car. My other brother had the original title to the car. Then he had her sign over the car to him so he can tag it himself and put insurance on it and have anyone drive it that wants to. Is this legal, can he do this with her having dementia? In the POA it does not state he can transfer any personal property to himself.
By joan 09/17/2015
Once there has been a declaration of dementia by a team of doctors, her signing anything is no longer valid. Someone close to me went thro this. He is POA and upon consulting his lawyer the first thing he had to do was inform the banks and provide medical documentation. No credit cards. If the step mother were to sign a check the bank won't honor it. If you were to take documentation of the parent's status, the vehicle transfer would become null and void.
My mother died in 1999 and her estate has been settled. However I found out that there was unclaimed property in the state of Pennsylvania. I tried to put a claim in, but the amount was too much. I told my brother the money was there. He has the Power of Attorney and is the executor who was the only one who could claim it. A verbal agreement was to share it, but that is not happening. What are my rights? It says "Any claimant to whom payment is made shall be answerable therefore to anyone prejudiced by an improper distribution."
By cybergrannie 09/11/2015
If your mother is deceased then a POA is no longer a legal document as a POA is only for while the person is alive.
You should seek advice/council from an attorney who specializes in wills/estates to find out your legal rights. Perhaps the attorney who settled the estate could advise you?
If your brother has received this money then he must have legal rights to do so. Maybe he is the legal executor of your mother's will? If so, she must have felt/thought he was the best one to handle her affairs after her death. Sometimes we can be wrong about our opinions of people when it involves money.
I would suggest that you act quickly.
I have durable power of attorney over my dad and I just found out that the last 10 pages are missing. Now what do I do?
By audrie12 09/03/2015
Who ever or what ever lawyer did the poa should have copies
I am from Hyderabad. I want to take money from a financier for interest and give power of attorney for 6 months. Is it safe to give power of attorney to a financier and is there any chance that the financier can misguide my property, run away from here, and come back after completion of agreement? As per law I have to give money back in 6 months and cancel the agreement. If the financier is not available on given completion date of agreement I will lose my property.
By Louise B. 09/07/2015
You need to consult someone with some knowledge of the laws of your country. Offhand, I wouldn't do such a transaction here in Canada. It sounds dangerous to me.
My mother died 9 months ago, she was in a car accident had a few strokes, had diabetes and was bed ridden for 4 years. In the mean time, my sister obtained power of attorney and moved money around and even destroyed a will that was in a drop box at a local bank. My sister took $67,000.00 and bought a forclosure home right out in Arizona, she put the house in her daughter's name and grandkids names. She also moved money from one bank to another and out to a bank to Arizona which has my sister's daughter's name on it, the amount we are talking about is 1 million dollars. My sister made a will but my mom refused to sign it and my sister's lawyer refuses to send copy. Is their any thing I can do about any of this since she did buy a house with our moms money while my mom was still alive and then took both properties and all the money that my mom had already had divided out?
By Abigail A. 08/13/2015
You need legal representation. Your sister stole a million dollars.
I am a caregiver to a man who had a stroke 29 years ago. His wife died in 2008 leaving him alone. They didn't have any children or family. He gave POA for financials to his childhood friend and I have POA for personal care.
He's living in my home, and for the first 6 months I looked after everything until he signed a POA for both of us in 2010. Since his friend got POA for his financials he has never given him any information on his investments. For the first 6 months I had his investment adviser in to see him and explain everything to him. But his friend has not given him any information in the last 4 1/2 years. Doesn't he have an obligation to keep him informed of the state of his investments?
By Donna Swaile 08/09/2015
If you can get your client to his bank and ask your client if he minds you sitting in on the appointment, or go to the bank he deals with, express your concerns and they may send a person to visit him. I would not have the POA informed of this. Be sure, if possible, to have with him, any household bills and groceries receipts. Any bank or brokerage will be able to produce statement, but ask them to have them for the appointment.
Can my mom who has power of attorney over my grandmother keep me from seeing her? My mom and I got into a fight and for over a year she has kept me from calling and seeing my grandmother. She has power of attorney over my grandmother and my grandmother has dementia, but it has not gotten so bad that she is incoherent. She is still very alert and capable of doing for herself. She wants to see me because we have always been close. What can I do to see her? I am a college student and have limited funds and can't afford an attorney.
By Misty B. 
By Frugal Sunnie 05/05/2015
If the POA is one formatted as a 'durable' POA, sadly yes your mother CAN keep you from seeing your gran. I somehow doubt your mother will give you a photocopy of the POA so that you can check the wording so the only other option is to challenge this in court.
Fortunately all US states have a thing called Legal Aid and using Legal Aid means you will be able to do a challenge without charge - especially if you also go to the state elderly welfare and abuse authority and say you have very serious concerns about your mother abusing the POA.
Abuse/misuse of elderly POAs has become such a problem both in the US and here in the UK where I now live that all state and federal (in the US) publicly funded groups consider using a POA inappropriately to be an abuse issue.
Don't give up hope, do keep fighting. Use your phone directory or the Internet to find the local elderly issues group and Legal Aid society in your area.
Best of luck to you, please update us!
How can my husband be my POA?
By jessica 
By Frugal Sunnie 04/30/2015
Yes he can but you want to be VERY careful about it! An attorney is your best source of advice and preparation of the POA especially if it is to be a 'durable' one.
I learned this the hard way - my husband of over 20 years used the durable POA to clean out our accounts and sell off all our assets before and during our divorce proceedings - I was left with absolutely nothing but our then 16yo son. He took EVERYTHING including our son's college fund, and the groceries out of the pantry and freezer. The sheriff he brought along said there was nothing he could do owing to the POA.
The man even tried using the POA (AFTER it had been voided by the court!) to avoid making child support and alimony payments - my son and I suffered so badly it's only now we're really recovering from the damage inflicted by the divorce aided and abetted by giving my now ex a durable POA.
Be very sure, and very careful, and the only way to do that is to have a snake-shark lawyer acting on your behalf. I thought I had a strong marriage but three years after giving my husband the POA I was destitute and trying to feed a hurt, angry, and hungry 16yo with no help from anyone - don't let this happen to you. It was 1998 and to be honest I still have scars, so does my son.
I am not officially married to my boyfriend, but we have 1 year old daughter. I have given him POA over our daughter. In some days I'm flying with my daughter, without my boyfriend. Do I need POA permission from him? I'm not sure, if they will ask me this on airplane, because our daughter took her father's surname not mine. Please help!
By Nastarin from Germany
By Louise B. 04/15/2015
Here in Canada if one parent is flying out of the country with minor children, they need a notarized letter from the other parent to show that they are aware of the trip and that the traveling parent is not abducting the children. It is the same if traveling by car.
I do not know how it would be in the EU since travel is so open between countries. However, I don't think you need to contact a lawyer about this. Phone your passport office, or the airline and see what the procedure is for your country. If you are traveling within Germany, I suspect no one would ask for anything, but that's just a guess a my part.
When my 15 year old traveled from Canada to the US by himself both parents had to sign the letter (we were separated at the time), and we had to list the places he would be staying, who he was staying with, and when he would be flying home, along with his flight numbers. I doubt that PoA has anything to do with it.
I have a friend whose mother is addicted to prescription pain pills and has been for 10 years or more. Her mother is close to 50 years old and she lives with my friend, her daughter. She does not work and is totally dependent on her daughter and her husband other than the small amount of money that she obtained from her recent divorce, which is almost gone. She has used the divorce settlement to pay for Dr. visits and prescriptions.
Her daughter had to take her to the hospital last night due to the fact that her mother has quit eating, lost a significant amount of weight, wouldn't get out of bed, and she was not completely coherent. The hospital said there was nothing physically wrong with her so the daughter convinced them to call a social worker from Pathways to come and have her admitted. Her mother, after several hours of arguing and being very ugly finally said she would go. They will only keep her for 5 days. Her daughter is 6 months pregnant with twins and needs her mother to get more help after the five days, but doesn't know where to turn. Would it help if she tried to get guardianship over her mother and is this even possible? She does not have any extra money if it is an expensive process. Please help. She only has 4 days left to get something done before her mother is released!
By Louise B. 03/07/2015
I am 61 years old and I am appalled by this story. I realize the woman loves her mother, but, really, a 50 year old woman should be able to look after herself, for goodness sake. If this situation was reversed -- if the mother was looking after an adult child with similar problems, many of us would be giving different advice. We would be urging tough love, and saying that the addicted person has to grow up and take charge of her own life.
Yes, addiction is an illness, but like alcoholism, you can't fix the problem for the addict. You can point them in the right direction, find programs, etc, but if you continually enable them to feed their addiction by looking after them and keeping them from taking responsibility for themselves, you are not doing any favors.
I think this mom should grow up and take charge of her own life, which includes finding her own place to live, finding a job, and getting her life straightened around. Your friend has a baby on the way, and that is where her priorities should be. The woman should be helping out her daughter at this time of her life, not being a burden.
I have power of attorney for my father. He has POA for my mother. He has not been declared incompetent but should be. They are both in a nursing home. He wishes to check himself and my mother out and return home. They both have major health problems and are almost blind. They would not have the care they need at home. The nursing home tells me he can check out. How can I stop him from checking themselves out of the nursing home?
By Robert Jr
By cybergrannie 01/19/2015
If this move would truly present a problem for their care and well being, you may have to take legal action.
Does your mother and father have regular medical care where they now live? Have you discussed this move with their doctor?
This may be your only recourse but only you can determine your next move.
My father-in-law died 7 months ago, his power of attorney was held by his lawyer who has been great until now. We are in the middle of trying to sell my father-in-law's home and the attorney just says he is done. Which we disagree with because there is someone on the will who will cause problems. Can the person with power of attorney just walk away like that?
By cybergrannie 01/08/2015
The attorney's "duties" with a POA ended when your father died.
Any duties of this nature will now fall to the executor of the will (which may be this attorney?) or if no will then you will probably have to hire an attorney to help you with legal matters.
Who gave you legal "right" to sell the house and who is deciding how the money received will be divided?
Was there a will stating how property was to be handled?
Did the will go through probate?
These are questions that only you know and what anyone assisting you will need to know. I feel sure you will need an attorney who will know how to handle all of this.
I have a brother who has been supported by our parents for about the last 30 years, he receives a civil service check every month for less than 800.00 a month. Over the past three years I have flown back and forth out of state to care for them, as I live in a different state and my brother lives very near, in a place which my parents paid for.
To make a very long story short last time I was there I had a durable POA and Trust made up with an attorney. My brother was fine with it. My father ended up passing and my mother has been suffering from dementia for years and deteriorating rapidly. My brother had the POA changed to him. My question is he lives there, but hasn't ever paid for anything and I am the trustee of the trust. Can he sell their car and house and their personal property in the event she goes into a nursing home? Please help; by the way we do not get along at all. Suzie Q
By cybergrannie 12/21/2014
Perhaps you could return to the attorney that set up the POA and trust for advice. If not, I would say you need a new attorney ASAP.
My mother will be going into care soon, I already have power of attorney over her generally. Can they take all her pensions away from her as they go into her bank account?
By Noelia from Gibraltar
By Abigail A. 12/13/2014
No general advice will help you because you are in Gibraltar. Definitely get in touch with someone who specializes in Gibraltar laws.
If my sister has POA over my mom, does my mom have to stay with her, or how does that work?
By TG from TX
By Cynthia 11/06/2013
I have POA for my Mom, and she doesn't stay with me. She lives in a memory care home.
I have POA and am the executor for my father. My mother is in her last stage of Alzheimer's and my father and I are her care givers. He does not have POA over her for she was not able to sign documents at the time he was aware of POA.
My father is worried that my evil sibling would take over if he had passed on. What can he and I do to make sure my mother keeps getting the great care she is currently getting from me and the rest of my family? Would it solve the problem by going to an attorney and drafting a health surrogate document that states my father's wishes?
By Linda N.01/23/2015
I am an eldercare social worker in Ohio and the fastest thing to do is for you and your father to phone (immediately!) the probate court in the county where your mother now lives and make arrangements for the court to appoint you as your mother's legal guardian. This should be easy to do as it sounds as if your father would be in favor of it. I would suggest that you request guardianship of person and estate, so that you can protect her $$ assets in the future to ensure her care needs are met.
Is the person that is appointed to have power of attorney responsible for the person's debt?
By Mary Jane
By audi 02/23/2011
I agree you need to talk to a lawyer about this. not do laws vary state by state the types of poa do to from general to medical only.
My father is now in year two of a 25 year sentence in prison. I am his daughter and legal POA. He was a teacher and has a pension and also some retirement and non retirement investments. My question is, since he has agreed and said it was OK, can I or do I have the legal right to collect his pension? I got a letter about a month ago stating that because it's been two years since he's been out of the union, that "he" could collect on it, if he wanted too. We've already gone through an ordeal with his home and it being a VA loan and just can't jump through anymore hurdles, but if we don't collect that pension according to the DA that prosecuted my dad, it will "disappear".
Because he's 55 and doing a 25 year sentence, he's obviously going to be way older then the national legal/Oregon retirement age. What do I need to do, especially because of course they don't want to have to pay it out, but legally had to send the letter about collecting the pension.
By Dinah Ackerson 08/30/2015
You should find an attorney who handles POA and retirement law to learn what you can and cannot do. Do not make any financial decisions until you fully understand the legalities of each system. A seemingly small mistake can easily turn into a large loss.
When my parents divorced 15 years ago my brother paid out my father's share so that my mother could stay in the family home. To be honest my mother didn't need his assistance and my other 2 siblings and myself were more than happy to chip in to help her. In the last few years I have found out that my mother signed over the property to my brother and he went on to building another house on the back of the property and then sold the front house which was to help my mother be mortgage free.
Years have gone by and my mother is living in the newly built house which still does not have a building of compliance and this has been going on now for over 10 years. The house is not even in my mother's name it's in my brother's name and I have just found out a couple days ago that my brother has now put the house into a trust, his family trust.
My brother is robbing my mother of her independence which was the promise from the beginning and also robbing myself and my other two siblings of our inheritance. Where is the justice in this? My mother worked hard to have her own home and now my brother sees it as his right to take it.
What can my siblings and I do? I believe he is her POA. At the time she signed over her rights to the property she was mentally unwell because my father left her for another woman and 15 years on she still is not 100%. I believe she had a mental breakdown at the time and my brother took advantage of the situation.
By Fionna 
By Dinah Ackerson 05/12/2015
This situation, as you describe, is very complex. I strongly suggest that you and your relatives consult with an attorney who specializes in POA, trusts and other family law areas. It will probably take a significant amount of legal time and expense for all your concerns to be clarified.
I have power of attorney for my dad who is the executor of my mother's will. She has now passed; can I deal with mum's will for him?
By Dinah Ackerson 03/15/2015
What you can do depends upon the specific wording of the POA. You should consult with an attorney to be certain of your POA rights.
My husband died a month ago and we were married almost 9 months ago here in the US. When he passed away I didn't know what to do, so I asked my husband's daughter to help me. She said I needed to sign for her to have power of attorney. I did sign and now I'm still waiting for the processing of the papers because my husband was retired army. Is it possible that she can get her money for her father? What should I do?
By cybergrannie 03/08/2015
There are so many unanswered question in your request so it would be very difficult for anyone to really help you.
What military service?
Are you a US citizen?
Military retirement benefits may not be available right now but may be later?
I believe you are going to have to do your own research in this matter.
If you attend church you may be able to get someone to help you find a place of information.
You can try a community service organization as they have lots of resources available.
Try the Salvation Army center as they assist/help a lot of people find the help they need.
Please do not depend on one person to help you - keep looking for help yourself.
Have you tried asking questions at a military site?
If you have power of attorney for an elderly granmother and she dies, are you responsible for her debts?
By Lisa J
By Dinah Ackerson 12/27/2014
There is no easy answer as responsibilities vary in some states. Suggest a consultation with an attorney experienced in powers of attorney, estates, wills, etc., possibly the attorney who helped with the power of attorney document?
My father passed in May in Pennsylvania. My mother's will has him as her POA, does she have to change that now?
By Abigail A. 10/06/2014
Yes, she does need to change it.
When my father passed, a will had already been drawn up by our mother and father. There are three sisters and I am the eldest. I was named executor of the estate by both parents because I was the oldest.
Unfortunately my youngest sister and her boyfriend were living with my mom at the time. Let it be stated that our father had asked Judy (middle child) to help Mom by paying bills and as he stated "keep her happy". In our grief Judy (middle and myself (Joscelyn, eldest) were helping Mom get through her grief although going to mom's house was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as Janet and boyfriend always made us feel as though we were intruding.
It wasn't long before we noticed Mother's mental health deteriorating. Shortly thereafter the will was changed without any notification to Judy and I. The will gave all power to Bret and Janet and literally put Judy and myself out of the picture. Judy objected at a meeting with Mom's attorney, a friend of Janet's (who we also never got a say about) that.
Daddy and Mom had in good faith written the original will making all three sisters equal heirs after the passing of our mother. Suddenly Mom's house which was a part of the estate landed in Janet's and Brets lap. The house was part of the estate.
Now every day Janet and Bret are with Mom, neither of them work. So they'd go to lunch or take Mom anywhere her little heart desired. And while they had her they worked her. They have all the power and he dictates what is in this family. They kept claiming that Mom was competent to decide upon the house, but as soon as they had her in their palms and someone objected they now claim Mom is incompetent. She in fact is, but has been for quite a while. The doctor who decided this was again a person Judy and I ever even met.Judy and I question the sincerity of the couple for many reasons. One of which is I am not permitted on the property with the threat of police and trespassing. Judy and I don't have any right to enter the house to collect any belongings and they feel if the house is theirs so are the belongings. The furniture was divided among the sisters. Three items of furniture mutually agreed upon between sisters were mine. About to remove them, they asked if I would leave them there for a short while until they replaced them. Of course I said yes. The items were, a big screen TV which sits on 1 of a very few pieces that my daddy built. She has all the others and a formal sofa which was the last remaining item from the formal living room I was awarded. Janet begged me because she said that Bret would not buy her another one and they didn't have a sofa.
Meanwhile Bret owns his mother's home in Virginia and his RecDads home in Tennessee and inherited as sole heir what he brags about being about 2 billion dollars. Neither Judy nor I own a home and both work very difficult jobs and take no sick days, while they don't work at all.
Recently I asked my mom for some money to save my car. She called Bret to bring her a check three times and three times he denied her. The last time Janet and Bret came to Mom's assisted living for a showdown. Bret stated he would not give me money until I told him what it was for. My mom meekly said I didn't have to and he said if I want money, I do. She was definitely under his control and began crying. After my sister yelled at me to get a second job and told me I had no right to grieve the loss of my boyfriend 2 mos earlier to a bad heart She said all I did was complain about him and waved me off. I had to leave and left crying and so was my mother.
She has been manipulated. She no longer cares about the family and every holiday and fun time we shared as a family. They take Mom back to her house and keep her overnight so we can't even see her on holidays. Please help.
Our feeling is that when it comes time for an inheritance there will be none for Judy and I and they have forever defiled my father's memory by separating the family and not acknowledging his wishes. Pleas advise me.
By Joscelyn R from Snellville, GA
By frances 04/22/2014
You and your sister need to speak to an attorney immediately.
My sister and brother have POA over my mother. Neither one is helping her with her medical issues (doctor appt, diabetes, hospital, medication, etc). I feel as if they are not good POAs for her health. What rights do I have. I'm being told because of the HIPPA law, I have no rights and hospitals can't do anything since she does not understand the seriousness of her illness. I also live in a different state than they do.
By Billie Jo
By Dyend R.12/16/2013
RE: HIIPA Rights POA
Hello Billie Jo-
I don't know how old your post is (today is 12/16/13) but I have exactly the same problem.
My mother is becoming very incapacitated, and my sister lives next door. They live several days away from me. I am a nurse.
I have just found out that mom's health care providers were "instructed" not to talk to me because my sister said she has POA (I did not know that mother had a HIIPA POA).
The solution would be to talk to mother - but she lives in under my sister's control and would not want to jeopardize or provoke her (As you can see, the family is dysfunctional). Do you have any advice?
I thank you for your attention. ~ Rouge
My grandmother is asking to go home. She has dementia. She is currently in a nursing home. I'm willing to take her home with me, but my uncles say no. The facility she is in is substandard and her children rarely visit. Only one of my uncles is on file at the nursing home. However, there is no official POA. Do I have a right as grandchild to get custody of my grandmother and take her out of the nursing home?
Can a person with power of attorney sell the home of the person he s representing?
Due to my own personal health problems getting worse, I feel I am no longer able to act as power of attorney for my mother who has dementia. How do I go about removing myself from that position? Also, do I need to notify my siblings and whom do I give my mother's banking and legal documents to?
Thrifty Fun has been around so long that many of our pages have been reset several times. Archives are older versions of the page and the feedback that was provided then.
Who is responsible if you have a power of attorney on your checking and savings account? Just in case you can not pay your bills and then you die. Is she responsible for the bills.
Joyce from Wisconsin
I found a link that will help explain it: lawdepot.com
Susan from ThriftyFun (10/25/2007)
By LITTLE SUZY
This is not to be confused with a power of attorney for health care also known as a living will. These instruments can get very complicated and one should see an attorney to have one drawn up.
The person was has been named to execute a power of attorney has no further responsibilities once the person dies and is not responsible for the deceased debts while they are living or when they die. The executor of a will pays any debts from the deceased assets. If the deceased has no will then the state will decide how the deceased property is to be probated. (10/26/2007)
Anna, NYC (10/26/2007)
If a person has a POA over a parent and gives the parent permission to drive a vehicle and that parent has an accident is the person in charge of the POA responsible financially in any way?
By Ruby from Farmington, NM