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There are a variety of reasons that it makes sense to have an elderly parent assign power of attorney to an adult child. This is a guide about power of attorney for elderly parent.
This is a guide about changing a power of attorney. Generally consulting an attorney is your best course of action when you need legal advice.
This is a guide about Power of Attorney and HIPPA rights. Navigating through legal and medical issues can be complicated.
Changing a Power of Attorney designation is sometimes necessary. Here is information to answer the question: "Can I get my friend's POA changed?"
Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.
I was POA of my dad. He passed and I found out a POA is only good when they are alive. My question is before he died I moved money from his account to mine am I allowed to do this? He had no will, no living trust, no house, and no property. I payed all his bills and closed all his accounts as well. Any help would be appreciated.
Generally the answer is with the POA you are THE legally recognised next of kin and de facto executor of the 'estate' (yes I read that your father had no 'real' assets but to the law, a bank account of any size is an asset) but DCA is right - you need to consult an attorney, preferably the one who wrote the POA. Depending on where you live, the answer could be anything from 'No worries!' to 'Uh oh, you may be looking at some serious problems from the IRS (USA), HRMC (UK), or tax authority in your country if not the UK or US.
I did the same thing you did and the only reason I didn't have any trouble with the IRS (I was living in the US at the time, I now live in the UK) was because I consulted with the attorney when the POA was written and knew what forms to fill out and documents to submit after the funeral. The only real unpleasantness came from my sister and a cousin - they actually tried to start a row during Dad's funeral, accusing me of stealing his money.
That was of course unhappy but the consultation with the attorney made a difference - Sister and cousin tried to take legal action and the judge threw it out when he saw the consultation from the POA writing attorney and the paperwork proving I'd satisfied tax burdens.
My condolences at your loss, and best wishes for your going through sorting all the details after.
As POA for my mother-in-law, she is in a nursing home, will I be responsible for her funeral when she passes? I am on SS and it is the only income I have. I live in Indiana, she has a son in Nevada who has nothing to do with her. I am all she has here in Indiana.
You are not responsible for her bills. POA means you can make decisions for her when she is not capable of making them herself.
A POA does not cover responsibilities for any funeral expenses; it usually addresses only medical and financial issues. You are not responsible for any funeral expenses unless you decide to pay for part or all of a funeral, etc. You should not make any final (funeral, memorial, etc.) arrangements unless you have the financial resources to cover all costs.
There are several different types of POA and it should tell you on the form what kind it is. For someone in the nursing home, there are 2 basic ones. One is the POA to make medical decisions only, should she not be able to. The second it to make financial type of decisions, or to act on her behalf. It is the most common. You are not responsible to pay the bills from your own personal funds, but you are responsible to pay them on her behalf from her account, or to call and inquire on her accounts. You can also do things such as change her insurance, order a phone to be connected or disconnected in her name, sell her car, rent her home....
many people misunderstand exactly what a holder of a POA's responsibilities really consist of. There are several types of POA so it is most important to understand what type you have.
Important item: responsibilities of holders of a POA end at the death of the individual.
In your case - this would mean that someone else (not your responsibility) would need to be in charge of EVERYTHING when your mother-in-law dies.
Here are a couple of sites that may help you understand a little more about a POA:
Long story short, my BF lives in the United States, but I do not. He was incarcerated, but gave me power of attorney to try and sell his vehicles. The problem is his vehicles are under financing and a lean loan. Should I inform these companies that he is incarcerated? Or just tell them I have POA and need to know how to sell them? My fear is they will try to reposess them because no payments have or can be made on them. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Unfortunately to sell 'Secured' property as you describe, it must be paid off prior to selling it...usually. I would recommend contacting the lean holders to work out a deal of some kind. Also the POA may be invalid if your boyfriend executed it while incarcerated as he has lost his Citizen rights, including entering into contracts, which a POA is. On the bright side, the lean holders do NOT want the property back. It's a money losing pain in the butt deal for them so if you contact them & are honest about the situation, they may allow you to sell the vehicles to satisfy the loans, at least. Hope this helps. Best Wishes.
My husband has POA over his mother's affairs. His brother recently became medical POA when their mother was deemed incompetent due to Alzheimer's. So now his brother is responsible for all sitter care (hiring, scheduling, paying, etc.) This has caused a lot of conflict.
My husband has run the sitting staff for 3 years without problems. Now his brother wants to change things. So now my husband just wants to pay his brother $10,000/month and let him pay the sitters, buy the groceries, pay for medications, etc. I told him I thought he was still responsible for getting receipts and being accountable for money spent and he said that he wasn't worried about it, that as soon as the money ran out, then the sooner his brother would have to take total responsibility for his mother. She would then have to move in with him because he would have to sell the house since there would be no more money left in the checking account to pay bills. Is he right?
Susan from Slidell, LA
Your husband is in a difficult situation and it would be in your better interest to consult an attorney for this family matter.
I have had medical power of attorney and power of attorney for my 79 year old mother for 7 1/2 years, my sisters and brothers will not help with my Mom at all.
But, if she had made the MISTAKE that your husband's mom has now made, I would legally turn over whatever power of attorney she had given to me to the brother that is now (after 3 years) wanting to have a hand in taking care of her. Personally I couldn't handle the stress of "fighting" with one of my siblings because of it. In hind-sight your husband should have gotten the medical power of attorney three years ago too. Anyway, I would consult with a trusted attorney and make sure things were done legally. My Mom should have enough money to take care of her until she dies, but if you think your brother in law is going to spend through his mom's money and she will eventually have to live with one of her sons, then yes, I would take action immediately to see that it's the brother that is spending all of her money that gets the priviledge of caring for her 24/7.
You can bet that I don't ask my siblings their opinion on any matters pertaining to my mother's care; they aren't here, and they aren't breaking their backs taking care of her. Mom has lived with my husband and I for 6 1/2 years.
I hope she is/was a loving and kind mother to your husband.
I agree with MCW. An attorney is needed to clear this up and inform each what his responsibility is. It would be a shame to have this split a family.
Yes, an attorney is needed here. Also remember you live in Louisiana where the laws can be very different from other states. Louisiana has Napoleonic Law not Common Law, so many, many things seem 'backwards'. I too live in Lousiiana, Bossier City. Good luck.
I am sorry to hear that your husband and his brother are having such difficulties. I'm sure the last thing their Mom would want was for her "boys" to be arguing over her. I assume that both have their Mom's best interest at heart. This is a time of great stress. I hope things calm down and that they can work together.
That said, I believe that it is unrealistic to think that the money will just run out and Mom will move in with her son. With Alzheimer's Mom may live a long time in a severely impaired state. Does the brother have the money and patients to provide care to a person who is totally incapacitated.
Has anyone thought about eventual nursing home care? As POA, has your husband looked into your state's medical assistance program to pay for Mom's care after her money runs out.
The attorney working with my mother-in-law's estate advised my husband to resign and just give it to my brother-in-law because he felt that it's going to get too nasty. I told my husband that he knows that his brother will not handle the money appropriately and eventually not do the right thing for their mother and then my husband will feel bad in the end because he promised his mother he would take care of her. My husband wants to put her in an Alzheimer's facility, but my brother-in-law is refusing because he said that he promised his parents he would never put them in a nursing home. My husband is trying to convince my brother-in-law that the promise was made before all these circumstances came about and now things are different.
My husband is trying to get her in a nice facility now while they have the money because if they wait until they run out of money and try to put her somewhere she will end up in a state run facility and those aren't usually the nicest places. But does anyone have the answer to my original question: If my husband gives my brother-in-law $10,000/month to run the household, does he have to be responsible for giving my husband receipts for what he spends. Does my husband have to mandate that he be given receipts every month before he gives him more money for the next month? My husband wants to just give him the money and not worry about the receipts and let him spend all the money and the quicker the money is spent, the quicker the brother-in-law has to move their mother out of the house so they can sell the house because the money is gone and the mother is forced to move in with the brother-in-law.
I know that if that happens, by then, the brother-in-law will end up sticking their mother in any nursing home that will take her, she won't qualify for Medicaid and I don't know how they will pay for it. So I just want to make sure that my husband won't get into trouble if he doesn't require his brother to give him receipts every month. Any answers will surely help with this horrible situation. Thanks, Susan
I really sympathize with both brothers. My brother and I shared power of attorney for my mother. We never fought over anything. We sat down together and worked out her needs and what we could afford to pay to meet those needs for as long as possible. It helped that our decisions and an accounting of how her money was spent was reviewed by her attorney's office. My brother ran her general finances and I ran her personal and medical accounts since she lived in my home. Both sets of accounts were submitted in writing to her attorney who in turn submitted periodic reports to our state court system. All any of us wanted was what was best for Mother.
That made it easy to problem solve together. We all discussed how best to utilize her available money in order to ensure the best care for the longest period of time. Fortunately, despite a year in a nursing home and then back to me for the final few months (with the help of hospice) her funds saw her through. It wasn't easy and at times required a real balancing act--and less sleep and more labor than I had ever anticipated. Together we were able to give her the best possible care for the available funds. It has been a great comfort to us now. I would suggest that both sides explore all available legal and counseling help available within your local court and social services systems. Everyone needs to work together for your mother-in-laws best good.
I do not know about Louisiana law, but in NY you would need to document how Mom's money was spent to qualify for Medical Assistance.
My mom is 70 and I have been caring for her since last year in March 2016. I need to have a power of attorney because she goes to the bank and removes money and loses it and gives it away. The bank is giving me a hassle because she put a password on her account and changed her pin. On top of me not being able to pay her bills my husband and I are on a limited income.
Usually a person grants another power if attorney when they are still in a good frame of mind. In your case, the parent is starting to be impaired. You will probably need a lawyer and a letter from a physician stating that the parent is impaired. Read this article for more information: https://www.roc or-alzheimers.rl
She can either sign a poa voluntary (some banks, depending on your state have the forms and they can witness and notarize them there) or if she is not willing, you will need to get a court order. That will require an attorney and the judge would have to declare her incompetent of finances. That can be messy if she objects. You will need to have proof, so make sure you have copies of bank statements where it shows she withdrew the money, and copies of the bills she has not paid. This most likely could cause a conflict in your relationship. The judge will also want to see her past history. Is this new? Or has she been like this all along and you are just noticing? If that is the case, you probably won't be granted a poa
I have durable power of attorney over my 76 year old dad and I live with him. I am trying to encourage and prevent him from driving because he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/dementia and has quite a bit of hallucinations, memory loss, lack of motor skills, and reasoning, etc. He continues to argue with me that he is not crazy (those are his words, not mine) and he is quite capable of driving.
I received info from another legal source that I can be held responsible for an incident, such as if he gets into a car accident and kills someone else. They can hold me responsible for the death of the other person because I am aware of my dad's health issues and I could even go to jail. I have been trying to collect all tangible information I can on this ailment and the legal ramifications and hopefully some serious communication from his doctor to try and get a handle on this issue. I just want to make sure what legal and/or criminal responsibilities I may incur if something like this happens. If anyone knows the actual case law so I could look it up, that would be great.
My mother may soon reach this point. I am not looking forward to it. "I might just as well be dead" is what she says. It is possible in my area to make an anonymous complaint to the police, and when they investigate, the elderly driver in question would have to take a drivers' test. That may be one way to avoid him being angry with you. It seems slightly underhanded, but it is something to consider,especially as you are living together.
If I have POA on my mom's banking account, do I have the right to transfer her money into my account if I feel she in not being competent with her money? Or is that illegal?
By Jessica E.
Does the person who has POA for a parent, have a responsibility to provide financial reports to the other siblings?
By Loretta from IL
I beleive the answer would be no. But others might have more info or you may find more info on the internet somewhere. Like Ask.com
I honestly don't know about legally but morally I think they should! This is a question best asked from the heart or from an attorney.
The answer is yes. Other siblings have a right to know and if you don't provide them with the information, they can take you to court to get any answers they need to know.
Using his power of attorney, thinking he is protecting her assets from Medicare, my brother put my mother's stocks into his own account without my knowledge or hers. I have power of attorney as well. He refused to make it a joint account after she and I found out. He just promises he will give me my share when the time comes. He is using the dividends to pay some of her bills - not his own use. Was this legal? Should I trust him?
We are on good terms, but when it comes to money no one knows.
I have looked after this 90 year old gentleman's cattle at my farm since 2004. He has paid board for these cattle. Our hand shake agreement was he doesn't go less than 12 head and when he passes away they are to be mine or if he shall not want them any more during his lifetime they are to be mine. He put them in half my name to make sure this happened as he did not put it in his will.
Having said that, his POA wants him to get rid of the 12 cows he has. This gentleman has also rented another house on my farm for the last 4 years.
Can the POA force the sale of the cattle? He thinks they cost too much! But yet the 90 year old has had the hobby of showing purebred cattle for the last 25 years. This gentleman also has close to a million dollars.
The POA is for a person who can't make his or her own decisions. If this man is of sound mind, his word goes over the POA.
My dad is in a nursing home and his attorney in fact died. My dad's brother is now conviced that he can be in charge of my dad's money and get power of attorney. He is 70 years old has been schizophrenic since childhood and has also filled for bankruptcy in the past. If he gets in charge of my dad's money he will steal it. Is there anything I can do to stop him from getting charge of my dad's money? Will the court even consider giving him power of attorney? Can he be appointed without me knowing?
My friend got arrested and they won't give his monthly trust to him. He gave me his POA. What can I do? She won't acknowledge me.
My dad has power of attorney of his father. He has had it for four years. When it was given he was it in sound mind. Now my dad's father has Alzheimer's. A family friend is trying to revoke my dads POA. My dad has done nothing wrong. How hard is it to revoke a POA and how do you contest it.
I am a Georgia resident. I am the oldest of 3 girls. Mother has had a hospital emergency. I, the big sister, was the only one that called 911, took her to the hospital, stayed, and then checked her in to find out what was wrong. The youngest sister has power of attorney. The hospital says even though I brought her to ER the sister with POA can only be spoken with unless the sister w/POA gives me permission to handle things at the hospital. Is that true? Neither of the 2 younger sisters even came to hopsital at all, the ER day, to assist me in any way. There is something wrong here yes? Would like some guidance.
My mother fell and broke her hip. She gave me power of attorney over her. She has a grandson staying in her home. He doesn't pay rent he just stays there, he has no job, and depends on my mother for money. How do we go about getting him out of the home?
I was appointed my grandparents' POA 10 years ago. My grandmother passed on 7 years ago. They have no living children. My sister and I are the only grandchildren from their only son who passed on 10 years ago. Granddad has been falling and has broken ribs. Doctors are evaluating him in a rehab facility. He is 89 years old with no terminal illness at this time, but continues to get weaker and not able to live alone. We are hoping the therapy will help so he can go home with home care help.
My grandmother always handled all the finances and my grandfather has never dealt with it. I picked up my grandmother's responsibility of the finances to help granddad when she past on. I have a 23 year old nephew that lives with granddad, but is no help for the care he needs. My nephew guilts granddad into paying his bills and constantly giving him money. I can't balance the accounts because of the extra money my granddad hands over to the nephew all the time.
We know home care is going to be expensive and need all the funds so granddad gets what he needs. I have talked to him about this so many times and he said my grandmother's dying wish was for him to take of and not let anyone run over the nephew. I am mentally exhausted and don't know what else to do. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
My husband's mother has dementia, but her doctor says it is not bad enough that she can't make her own decisions. We live in another state and my husband's aunt has been taking care of his mother. She disagrees with the doctor and thinks that mother needs to be in a nursing home. My husband agrees. Does the power of attorney give him the right to put her in the nursing home without her wanting that? They have tried to have Meals on Wheels come and also visiting nurses to help her out, but she is refusing all help. She is 84 and forgets everything. She will have a conversation with you and repeat the same thing 3 times within 5 minutes. She really can't take care of herself and the aunt is not able to continue helping her.
By Lisa M
My husband's grandfather made a will and left us his house in his will. His daughter's husband is the POA and they want to sell the house to pay for assisted living even thought he has money without selling the house. What are my husband's rights as far as inheriting the house?
Can we contest them selling the house out from under us?
I just recently received POA for my grandmother who has Alzheimer's. Can I still go on vacation? I've been planning this trip for awhile. I would be gone for a week.
If my brother has a power of attorney and in the will it said our parents house has to be sold, do all siblings need to agree on selling price or can the person with the POA sell it for whatever price he wants?
By Jennie from Victoria, BC
My brother, who was incarcerated, asked me to be his POA. He is now out on parole and is still asking me to do things on his behalf. As POA am I a target if anything goes wrong? For example, bad business dealings on his part. I am helping him somewhat financially and do not want to be part of any bad dealings.
My mother died 9 months ago, she was in a car accident had a few strokes, had diabetes and was bed ridden for 4 years. In the mean time, my sister obtained power of attorney and moved money around and even destroyed a will that was in a drop box at a local bank. My sister took $67,000.00 and bought a forclosure home right out in Arizona, she put the house in her daughter's name and grandkids names. She also moved money from one bank to another and out to a bank to Arizona which has my sister's daughter's name on it, the amount we are talking about is 1 million dollars. My sister made a will but my mom refused to sign it and my sister's lawyer refuses to send copy. Is their any thing I can do about any of this since she did buy a house with our moms money while my mom was still alive and then took both properties and all the money that my mom had already had divided out?
If you have not already contact an attorney regarding this, you definitely should so do now! This financial and legal situation is complicated and there are no easy answers for your questions.