This could end our relationship. It's been over a year now since my bf of 2years got his own apt. He "stayed" with me about 6 months prior to getting his own place because he wasn't ready financially. But for over a year now he works full time and makes more money than me. He has an 8 year old daughter for whom he pays $600 a month in child support and his rent is about $500 less than mine. He literally eats, sleeps, watches TV, is on my wifi, and bathes at my home 25 days out of the month. He's got his kid every other weekend only, so he only goes to his apartment those few days he has her. But then he's right back at my place after work using the wifi, watching TV, eating food, taking a shower, etc.
By Emma
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He either needs to just stay at your place full-time and do chores plus put some money toward bills, or live at his own place most of the time, pay for his own wifi, buy his own groceries, do his own laundry. Freeloading is the correct word. He is taking advantage of you.
I don't know how old you are, but it seems women often mature quickly as far as taking on the responsibilities of adulthood, but men often don't. They want to rely on woman to feed them, pick up after them and provide entertainment. In other words, you're his mother right now.
Yup! He's a user, loser, abuser, deadbeat, etc. You are making it so easy for him that he would be an idiot not to use you! Lose Him ASAP!
Hi, Emma,
Sorry to say this, but I'm in absolute agreement with Abigail and Dinah. You are making it pretty easy for him to take advantage of you, so I won't repeat their words of wisdom.
Permit me to point out, however, that if he wants a committed relationship with you, he wouldn't need a separate place for when his daughter spends time with him: she'd come to your place (meaning his and yours).
I know it's difficult to face the idea of breaking up with someone, but please consider your and your son's needs in this. If your fella isn't prepared to pay his share of expenses and do at least half the chores (cooking, cleaning, errands), you would possibly be better off alone (thus making it possible for you to meet someone who treats you better and values you more). Too, what kinds of lessons is your son learning? It's okay for men to walk all over women?
Wishing you the best of luck resolving this,
Rose Anne
He seems to be a freeloader. Did he give you rent, pay expenses, help with the work, and do his share when he lived with you? I'm guessing not. I do not think he is a very nice person and he is certainly not treating you very well.
What a deal! Wonder why he got a divorce? Does he have his own apartment so he can "claim" his own living expenses and maybe not have to pay more child support?
Do you ever stay at his apartment? Do you also interact with his daughter? In other words - does he have 2 lives? one with you and one for his ex-wife and daughter?
Are you being used? You know you are being used and all we can do is validate that fact. Where is love in this equation?
Are you one of those women who think they cannot live without a man?
I, personally believe he has been like this - to some extent - during the whole relationship - so, if this is true - do not even think about him changing - not with you anyway.
I do not believe he is good role model for your son and that should make a big difference as how long you will allow yourself to be used.
It is very easy to be critical of a situation when only its negative aspects are shared. At the end of the day, however, internet opinions can't be there to make you smile, make you breakfast, or rub your feet with "magic hands" after a long stressful day.
There are, indeed, some areas which need improvement but you should decide for yourself whether or not it would be better to build with someone who loves you enough make changes for you or just walk away for good
He's been doing this because you have allowed it to happen. Time to put your foot down - the free ride is over for him. How much stress has this been causing you and your child because the child is aware of how the situation is affecting you.
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