The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

Okay, this isn't going to be full of "these" and "thous." I speak modern English, not King James English. But I thought this format would be the easiest and most concise.

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One: Respect Me

So I'm blind. My eyes don't work as well as yours. That doesn't make me any less human than you. Please don't talk down to me or be condescending. I can hear it in your voice. I can feel the attitude coming off you in waves. You're not better than I am just because all your faculties work correctly. Remember that.

Two: I'm Here. Speak To Me

Always speak TO a blind person. Don't speak over, around or through me. I know you can see me. I can't see you, but I hear you very well. Speak to me. Please don't use my sighted assistant as a go-between or interpreter. This happened to me recently with a company of mortgage brokers. I find it incredibly demeaning - not to mention insulting.

Three: Always Remember, I Feel Too

Do you get cold when the temperature drops? So do I. Same thing with hot weather. I'm no less conscious of heat and cold than you are. In fact, I'm probably more sensitive to changing temperatures. If you want to put on a sweater on a winter day, you'd better believe I do, too. A multi-handicapped blind person I know said he'd ask for triple-paned windows, but I won't go that far. Just make reasonable accommodations to keep out the worst of the weather, and I'll be content.

Four: Think Safety

I'm tough, don't get me wrong. Yet as a blind person, I'm more vulnerable - in some ways. Throw rugs and even wall-to-wall carpet can trip me if the edges aren't fastened. A cluttered environment is also a tripping hazard. My balance isn't as good as yours. A sturdy banister on the stairs, even if there are only two, or a grab-bar in the shower isn't a luxury in my eyes, it's a necessity. A peephole does nothing for me. I'd rather have a good, strong security bar, not a chain; it could be too easily broken by a determined intruder. "Slip-strips" on the stairs would be welcome. Some folks with more usable vision could use high-contrast paint on those stairs. It isn't exactly a fashion statement, but hey - it helps.

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Five: Help Me Be An Informed Tenant. I'll Thank You For It

I don't read Braille, but a lot of my contemporaries do. If reading the paperwork is too much for you, perhaps someone else (maybe my sighted guide) could accommodate me. If no one can or will read important documents to me, I have a variety of ways I can read for myself. Ask me. Given a little time and help, I'm more than capable of understanding the terms of my lease.

Six: Accessibility is Key

For me, my dream home would include tactile or talking controls on everything. If I had more usable vision, high-contrast tape or paint in strategic locations like doorways would help. Again, not a fashion statement, but helpful. I'm a penny-pincher extraordinaire. I've gotten pretty good at finding economic ways to adapt regular items to meet my needs. My touch-pad oven controls are marked with a $3 tactile marker, for example. Ask me for ideas how to adapt my environment. It can often be done without your having to break the bank.

Seven: Remember, We Need Each Other

Granted, without you, perhaps I'd have a little trouble finding living space. But without me, you might have an empty space costing, rather than making, you money. I'm a responsible citizen. I pay my bills, usually on time. We'll get along fine as long as you treat and and charge me fairly.

Eight: Communication Matters

If you have problems that are going to affect our arrangement, never assume I'll know. I'm not a mind-reader, and osmosis rarely works in humans. If utilities are included in my rent (which I'll pay faithfully), don't make me wake up without water, heat or electricity one morning because you forgot to pay the bill. That'll really affect our relationship, such as it is. If you can't call, stop by or email me, please.

Nine: Respect My Space

If you absolutely have to enter my home, please tell me ahead of time. It isn't only the law, it's simple courtesy. Even for a sighted person, there's nothing more unnerving than entering your home and knowing someone's been in there without your permission. Never assume because I'm blind, I won't know. I will.

Ten: Control Yourself, Your Children and Your Animals

I don't personally have an assistance animal, but I know people who do. When you see the vest, that dog is on the job. Please don't pet without permission, and please teach your children likewise. And please warn me if your 100-pound Rottweiler is about to pounce on me. I know he's there, but can't see him coming at me. Even a small or mid-size dog unexpectedly jumping on or licking a blind person is very startling. I know Fido is only trying to say "hi", but I'd rather not be bowled over, thank you very much!

Source: I wrote this speech and presented it orally at our local Fair Housing Board's seminar for landlords and realtors today, 4/29/2010. Since so many points are of general interest, thought I'd share.

By JustPlainJo from Springfield, OH

Editor's Note: Are you visually impaired or do you have friends and family that deal with challenges like Jo has described? Post your experiences here.

Answers:

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

This is excellent, Jo! Congratulations on your speech and thank you for sharing it with us! (05/05/2010)

By Deeli

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

I had an aunt who went blind from the ravages of diabetes. They didn't catch hers in time. She had been working in a nursing home when she went blind and she decided to go to school in Kansas City to learn how to cope with her blindness. She learned how to read braille, and write braille. She learned how to cook blind and do her ironing blind and I am sure many more things to do without her eyesight. When she returned home they had held her job at the nursing home for her and she was able to pick up where she left off. We were all so very proud of her. She never gave up. She is gone now but never forgotten. (05/05/2010)

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By ninya61

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

I worked for many years as a sighted guide for the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. It was enlightening to take the course they offer for sighted guides. Its amazing to be lead blindfolded while you depend on someone to lead you safely. Sometimes I think it would be helpful for all people to try this so they have some understanding. (05/06/2010)

By thriftmeg

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

I am the sensitivity enhancement coordinator for H.O.P.E.,Helping others to Promote Equality,We do sessions for local agencies that provide services for the Developmently challenged population,I loved your ten commandments piece,You articulated your feelings beautifully. Hopefully everyone who read your story truly heard you! (05/06/2010)

By swaz63

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

More advice please. Tell us more commandments. I work with blind students, who learn to work on their computers with Voice Out software and using key combinations instead of the mouse. Any information you can pass on helps.

Thanks for an excellent article. (05/07/2010)

By Julia Walton

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

This is great stuff. It's always good to know how we can better communicate with and deal with those whose abilities are different from ours. Thank you! (05/09/2010)

By WildIrish

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

I supervise at a MO Sheltered Workshop. One of my employees lost most of her sight in a near fatal car wreck ten years ago. She can see well enough to move about, run a thrift store as a clerk/cashier, and lives alone, cooks, cleans, etc. I find her to be an inspiration.

This last month she was so excited to be able to go with her church group on a "mission" and tour of Chicago. That was until someone at her church decided there really wasn't anything she could do at this function. I am still scratching my head on this one, and wonder if I should write to the church so that they might know how crushed she was to hear that she is "useless?"

She was talking about serving soup at the soup kitchen, helping kids with crafts, and seeing the sights. I know for a fact she could do all of this and more! She is on a disability income and could never afford to do this kind of trip on her own.

I guess I am unsure of where the line of work relationship and the friendship lays. (05/11/2010)

By Dedeswrkshop

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

Dedeswrkshop, I am appalled that a 'church' member (or board member) would deny your friend! Yes, open your mouth and complain! Make arrangements to talk to her pastor AND find out who his/her boss is and let them know what happened too! How very UN-Christian! And how very hypocritical when this was to be a 'mission'! It's church members like these who turn people away from God! And how dare anyone treat another human being in such a way by assuming they are incapable!

As for your employee friend, would it be possible to do a secret (to her) fund raiser for her so that she and another person can go with her to Chicago for her own 'mission' and be able to do the things she was hoping to do in the first place? Hey, I would run that by the pastor and the pastors boss too ;-) (05/11/2010)

By Deeli

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

I'm loving this great feedback,keep it coming! :D

I'm very open about myself, hubby thinks I'm too open, lol! Now that I know another useful subject, you'd better believe I'll be writing more! I think I'll make my next article on either "lowered expectations" or perhaps my JAWS screen reader and some of my other tools. What do you all think? (05/11/2010)

By JustPlainJo

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

Thank you Thank you Thank you.
This could be geared towards any impaired person. "We" often don't know how to act or treat someone who is a bit different.I'm an amputee and children most of all are curious and most times their parents yank them the other way or appear embarrassed.

Life is full of uncertainties and tomorrow any one of us could be blind,go deaf or lose a limb. (05/12/2010)

By keeper60

The Ten Commandments Of Dealing With The Blind

Keeper, I'm soooo glad to be able to heighten folks' awareness of the frustrations of us V. I. PS, grin! I can't exactly speak knowledgeably for someone in a wheelchair, for example - but I can speak from my own experience. I'm also very open to honest (not demeaning or sarcastic) questions.

I'm just about finished writing "Ten More Commandments of Dealing with the Blind," and I promise to post it ASAP. Of course, I'll keep this thread in my Favorites folder awhile longer, thanks again for the great feedback, and for all your votes. Together, maybe we can reduce the number of unhappy incidents between what a friend calls "normies," and those of us who have various challenges. (05/14/2010)

By JustPlainJo

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