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I saw the following tips on Oprah and Dr. Phil long before I needed them, and filed them away in my head for the appropriate time.
Oprah said that the top items that guests will remember are the food and the band. Therefore, if you need to economize, do it in other areas. For example, very few people will remember the kinds of flowers and other decorations you had at the party. Food and the band do not have to be expensive. The food should be tasty, and the band should play music that will appeal to all of the guests. This means that a song or two could be included for guests that are out of the age group of the majority.
Dr. Phil had a show about a mother and daughter arguing about the daughter's forthcoming wedding. The daughter wanted to spend almost all the wedding budget on the gown. Dr. Phil suggested cutting the daughter a check for the amount allotted for the wedding, and letting the daughter figure out how other items would be obtained.
When my daughter got married, I gave her the bottom line of what I had to spend. Every time we got something, I deducted it from my bottom line. Some things she had to pay for herself, such as hair extensions. We had no arguments, because I was very clear from the get-go how much we had to spend. I believe we avoided conflict because she was used to living with a budget.
In my opinion, money should be discussed with children way before a wedding. Money is a resource, just like time and parents' attention. There is just so much to go around, and all family members are entitled to a share. When I was growing up, my parents would tell me how much they wanted to spend on an item, such as jeans. If I wanted something more expensive, I would have to use birthday money or babysit. I quickly learned the value of a dollar.
Children who never have to work for anything never develop the sense of pride and accomplishment that goes with setting and achieving goals. They don't take as good care of their possessions, because they know that their parents will replace the item for them.
The picture shows my wedding rings. The diamond band (half of the ring has diamonds) was given to me as a surprise after 20 years of marriage. I was very happy to get it, and am still more than pleased with the gold band, which I still wear.
My husband and I had a small intimate wedding in 1969; my parents were deceased and his parents were not financially stable to assist with our wedding. I did not purchase a traditional wedding gown, I wore a tea length dress, white shoes and a chapel veil. We were married in May and Easter was late that year so the flowers for the Easter celebration were still in the church, therefore I took the colors of the flowers already in the church and had a cascading bouquet of daisies with flowing yellow ribbons; I had no bridesmaids; my sister was my maid of honor so I purchased a corsage for her and the groom and his best man. There was no reception but we were happily married. During the course of our marriage, our church performed a Wedding Vow Renewal Ceremony; I purchased another tea length dress of lace, there was a reception with a wedding cake for all the couples that renewed their vows; special occasion indeed!............Our wedding rings were bought at Sears jewelry department in 1969; my silver wedding band costs $13.00 and my husband's cost $23.00; I wore that ring proudly to be the wife of a man who loved me unconditionally; he had a ring designed for me about 10 years ago with my old gold jewelry and some small gemstones, the ring is a gold band with hearts intertwined on it and the stones are dispersed among the open hearts. We will be married 48 years in May. My daughter married in 2001; I set a budget; someone gave the reception food and served and decorated for a wedding gift; a friend of mine owned a florist and gave me a big discount on day old flowers, my niece arranged all the floral arrangements; I used English Ivy from my yard and tulle to decorate the large upright arches and candle holders in the chapel; it was a elegant, simple wedding on a frugal budget. A friend of mine did the photography for the wedding of my daughter and didn't charge a large fee.
I'm a real estate broker and I work with many young couples buying their first home. I have a friend who just recently married and learned (the hard way), that the advice I gave her a year ago proved to be true. She spent almost a year and about $68,000 on "the perfect wedding".
I had told her long ago that the best advice I could give to her as a friend was to have a small conservatively priced wedding and to spend her real cash on a down payment for their first home. She and hubby-to-be paid for this wedding themselves from their savings and a small inheritance. It was beautiful BUT after their honeymoon, she called me to begin looking for houses only to find they would have to compromise their "wants" and future "needs" in this new home because they didn't have enough down payment to buy the size of home they really wanted. They seemed to take this information in stride although I know she's reconsidering the "value" of her big perfect wedding.
The bad thing is that after all that planning and expense, she and the groom were both so tense and stressed on the big day that she says most of the day (including the ceremony), was a blur. I can't imagine choosing one day over several years of contentment. Not to mention that her almost $70,000 wedding is money spent while using that money toward their home would have given her a considerable return on her investment in the long run.
I think in our society, girls are raised on what I call the "Cinderella principle" and taught that the wedding day is the most important day of our lives when, in reality, having a big wedding does nothing for our future let alone ensure that the marriage will last.
If we could begin teaching our young girls to prepare for the future and to invest while they're young, maybe they would be better off in the long run! Just makes sense to me!
By Angela from Central Florida
Please let me help you with your "Perfect" Wedding. When my husband and me got married I received so many double if not multiplies. The year we got married the Iced Tea maker from Lipton was the gift of choice.... Needless to say we received 7, 5 crockpots and 4 dozen pie plates.....
Anyways fast-forward, since then I have become a Pampered Chef consultant. We are offering an ABSOLUTELY amazing Wedding Registry to couples with Wonderful benefits. I would be happy and honored to "Pamper YOU and your Kitchen" Our new cookware is superior to none. It is free of charge to you to sign-up plus you can earn benefits for your guest purchasing.....
Like to know more or would like to make a referral, please contact me....
Best Wishes.... Have your cake and eat it too!!!
staceycooks4u @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
You don't have to spend a fortune to have a wonderful wedding. Here are tips from the ThriftyFun community for saving money on wedding costs. What advice can you add?
I enjoy working on weddings. Letting my imagination go results in delightful lovely decorations:
For my daughter's wedding, she wanted to use lots of white lights. At this time of year, you can't just go out to your local department store and buy them so we decided to borrow as many as we could.
Use skills that you and your family's have to save money and to make your day and your memories extra special.
Major life changes require some major planning. Instead of digging out of the financial hole that a wedding leaves in your bank account, prepare to hurdle across it.
My biggest tip for wedding decorations is borrow, borrow, borrow! We borrowed as much greenery, lights, tulle, gossamer, etc. as we could. We also borrowed dishes, punch bowls, serving bowls, etc. for the reception.
I found tree topper bows at Michael's that were 70% off! These will serve as our pew bows for a "winter" wedding in 3 weeks.
Last week, I was lucky enough to marry the most loving, caring, mature, unselfish, and honest man in the entire world.
Keeping the costs down on your decorations can help you have more money for other things. This guide is about inexpensive wedding decorations.
When planning a wedding, watch the paper for auctions of floral shops, bridal shops, etc. My daughter and I did this and found a florist who's business was being auctioned off.
If you are planning to have a Christmas church wedding then this tip may help save you some money and time on decorations. Most churches decorate for the holidays and it is quite beautiful. So plan your wedding during the time that they have their decorations up for the holidays.
A great, charming, and usually wildly inexpensive venue for a wedding (especially a small/medium size one) is to check for small, hole in the wall Bed and Breakfasts or inns in very small towns in the mountains or other rural areas.
Get married on the beach. Have a very casual wedding outside and then have a reception at your home. Just make sure the weather is going to to good. Less expensive and very enjoyable.
We have compiled numerous links to resources to help you save money on your upcoming wedding. Feel free to add your own ideas and resources.
Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.
My daughter is getting married in August and we are in need of an inexpensive wedding hall. I'm trying to help her. But funds are really tight. We need a place that is clean, with a kitchen, tables and chairs, that will allows us to bring food, and that we can decorate the night before. Due to the fact that it's my job, and I have to decorate the church as well.
Juanamie from Washington, DC
I would call a church and ask how much to rent out their dining hall? Some churches need money and would have what you requested. I know baptist churches have dining halls, for Wednesday night dinners. A medium sized church might be more reasonable.. and less in use : )
If you belong to a church, see about using/renting the Fellowship Hall. Or if you don't belong to a church, see if one of your friends does and find out if you can rent hers.