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I saw the following tips on Oprah and Dr. Phil long before I needed them, and filed them away in my head for the appropriate time.
Oprah said that the top items that guests will remember are the food and the band. Therefore, if you need to economize, do it in other areas. For example, very few people will remember the kinds of flowers and other decorations you had at the party. Food and the band do not have to be expensive. The food should be tasty, and the band should play music that will appeal to all of the guests. This means that a song or two could be included for guests that are out of the age group of the majority.
Dr. Phil had a show about a mother and daughter arguing about the daughter's forthcoming wedding. The daughter wanted to spend almost all the wedding budget on the gown. Dr. Phil suggested cutting the daughter a check for the amount allotted for the wedding, and letting the daughter figure out how other items would be obtained.
When my daughter got married, I gave her the bottom line of what I had to spend. Every time we got something, I deducted it from my bottom line. Some things she had to pay for herself, such as hair extensions. We had no arguments, because I was very clear from the get-go how much we had to spend. I believe we avoided conflict because she was used to living with a budget.
In my opinion, money should be discussed with children way before a wedding. Money is a resource, just like time and parents' attention. There is just so much to go around, and all family members are entitled to a share. When I was growing up, my parents would tell me how much they wanted to spend on an item, such as jeans. If I wanted something more expensive, I would have to use birthday money or babysit. I quickly learned the value of a dollar.
Children who never have to work for anything never develop the sense of pride and accomplishment that goes with setting and achieving goals. They don't take as good care of their possessions, because they know that their parents will replace the item for them.
The picture shows my wedding rings. The diamond band (half of the ring has diamonds) was given to me as a surprise after 20 years of marriage. I was very happy to get it, and am still more than pleased with the gold band, which I still wear.
My husband and I had a small intimate wedding in 1969; my parents were deceased and his parents were not financially stable to assist with our wedding. I did not purchase a traditional wedding gown, I wore a tea length dress, white shoes and a chapel veil. We were married in May and Easter was late that year so the flowers for the Easter celebration were still in the church, therefore I took the colors of the flowers already in the church and had a cascading bouquet of daisies with flowing yellow ribbons; I had no bridesmaids; my sister was my maid of honor so I purchased a corsage for her and the groom and his best man. There was no reception but we were happily married. During the course of our marriage, our church performed a Wedding Vow Renewal Ceremony; I purchased another tea length dress of lace, there was a reception with a wedding cake for all the couples that renewed their vows; special occasion indeed!............Our wedding rings were bought at Sears jewelry department in 1969; my silver wedding band costs $13.00 and my husband's cost $23.00; I wore that ring proudly to be the wife of a man who loved me unconditionally; he had a ring designed for me about 10 years ago with my old gold jewelry and some small gemstones, the ring is a gold band with hearts intertwined on it and the stones are dispersed among the open hearts. We will be married 48 years in May. My daughter married in 2001; I set a budget; someone gave the reception food and served and decorated for a wedding gift; a friend of mine owned a florist and gave me a big discount on day old flowers, my niece arranged all the floral arrangements; I used English Ivy from my yard and tulle to decorate the large upright arches and candle holders in the chapel; it was a elegant, simple wedding on a frugal budget. A friend of mine did the photography for the wedding of my daughter and didn't charge a large fee.
When my boyfriend and I decided to get married on our one year anniversary of dating (Labor Day Weekend), we didn't give ourselves a lot of time for planning or saving, just a few months. However, we still managed to have a beautiful and very frugal wedding with help from all our friends and family. Let me tell you how we did it.
First, we needed to find an inexpensive but comfortable location. Neither of us were particularly religious, so we decided to have the wedding and the reception at the same place. Both of our families were scattered throughout Washington State, mostly in the Seattle-Tacoma area. We found a community center in Steilacoom, WA, which is a beautiful seaside community near Tacoma.
The community center did not have a view but was nicely landscaped, inexpensive, had a kitchen area, tables and chairs, and a playground for the kids. Best of all, it was available, although for only the first half of the day. Both my boyfriend and I come from divorced families, so we asked each parent to pitch in equally on the rental fee, which was about $500.00. We asked a family friend, who was also a minister, to perform the ceremony for us.
We sent out invitations as soon as possible. I asked my dad to pay for printed invitations from a company in a bridal magazine, about $50.00 for 200. Instead of printing the location and reception times on the invitation, we used them as an announcement of our marriage and our new combined last name. This included pretty envelopes. We then created an additional insert on the computer using old grade school photos, printed in black and white as the actual invitation and also RSVP cards. Some of the extended family only received the announcement as we knew that it was unlikely that they would attend anyway.
Thrifty Tip: Send an announcement to everyone you can think of. We received presents from as far away as the Isle of Man and a great many checks from family members that I had never met before.
Instead of buying a wedding dress, I went to Nordstrom and looked at their party dresses. I was looking for something in a white or cream but didn't find anything I liked. I picked a soft green dress, simple but elegant. It cost about $100.00 and maybe another $100.00 for new undergarments and shoes.
Note to future brides: Be sure you are OK with not wearing white. I still regret the green dress, even though I received many compliments on it. I just didn't quite feel like a bride. There are many ways to get an official wedding dress if you do some legwork in consignment shops or thrift stores. Or ask your family and friends if you can borrow their wedding dress. Even though I bought a dress that I wanted to be able to wear again, I never did!
My boyfriend bought a suit that was a dark eggplant color (clove) at a local store specializing in sustainable fabrics. It was a hemp/cotton blend and was only $60.00.
I had a good friend who was getting married earlier that summer and I was one of her bridesmaids. She took us all to the Clinique counter for a makeover and bought us makeup for her wedding. I used these techniques and makeup for my own wedding, one month later.
My same friend also loaned me her silver cake service and many of the decorations that were left over from her wedding (ribbon and netting, etc.) She is very creative and volunteered to make my wedding bouquet. We bought grocery store roses at about $20.00 and she intermingled them with small purple flowers and wrapped the whole thing in white ribbon. A professional florist could not have made anything better.
She also created flowers for every part of the wedding party, using flowers that we had gleaned from yards in the neighborhood. The night before the wedding, I was out picking flowers at my little sister's best friend's house. Her mother asked what sister was getting married and was very surprised that it was me! I guess most brides don't work the night before the wedding. Some of these flowers were also used to create table decorations. We tied ribbons around canning jars and put a piece of oasis in the bottom. Each vase was different but beautiful.
For favors, instead of the typical candy wrapped in netting, we printed our personal wedding vows and tied them with a ribbon. We put candy and nuts on each table too.
My boyfriend's mother hosted the traditional "Rehearsal Dinner" at a local restaurant in Steilacoom. It was a nice time for the two families to get to know each other before the big day.
Because of my non bridal dress, I decided to forgo a veil but I wanted to look special. I scheduled an early morning appointment at a salon in the area and brought some flowers to use in my hair. This cost about $60.00, including a tip. I did my makeup there as well. My groom picked me up there and, even though it ruined the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding, it was still a romantic moment when he first saw me ready for the wedding.
On our way to the wedding, we stopped at a mall photographic studio to have official wedding portraits taken. It cost about $20.00 for the session and then about $10.00 for each photo sheet. This was much more inexpensive than hiring a professional photographer during the wedding and avoided the awkward photo session in the middle of the reception. I asked a close friend who was also a photographer to take some candid shots during the ceremony and reception. I also had many of the guests send me copies of the photos they took. I have tons of great pictures. One of my best friends even created a beautiful photo album for me, filled with her photos of the event. She also made me a guest book for everyone to sign.
Due to the half day, all our close friends and family pitched in and decorated the area and tables before the actual "guests" arrived. They also helped clean up after the ceremony.
Our wedding party was unusual. My boyfriend has a best friend who was a woman. She introduced us originally and he wanted her to be his "best man". I was very close to my brother so I made him my "maid of honor" for symmetry. Our sisters were "bridesmaids", one for each side. I just asked them to wear nice clothes. We entered from either side of the reception area, first the sisters with flowers, then the bride and the groom with our attendants, arm in arm. We met in the middle and were married.
My mother arranged the food with a old high school friend of her's who owns a deli and does catering. She paid about $5.95 per person and we had about 100 guests. We had simple sandwiches and salads. This was the most expensive part of the wedding. Because of a history of alcoholism in my family, we had non alcoholic cider for the toast (with a borrowed set of blue goblets). We also had coffee and punch to drink.
Instead of spending a great deal of money on an expensive cake, we got a wedding cake from the local supermarket for around $85.00. I asked them to decorate it plainly with only minimal white frosting and put fresh nasturtium flowers and leaves on it. On the top, we decided to use the old Fisher Price people in lieu of an expensive topper. I think it looked very cute and pretty.
We played the Moonlight Sonata for processional music using a CD boombox setup and brought favorite CD's to play for music during the reception. My sister and younger cousins loved playing DJ.
My friend made an additional bouquet for the traditional toss. As luck would have it, my husband to be had caught the garter at her wedding last month so we reused that for the garter toss. Unfortunately, none of the guys wanted to catch it. Perhaps that is common.
The wedding and reception was short and sweet. After driving off in the festively decorated car (I never did get the dots off the wheels), we headed for Portland, OR for the first night of our honeymoon. We stayed at one of the hotels overlooking the river the first night and then headed for the coast to stay in a romantic bed and breakfast for two more nights. Thanks to a last minute addition at the wedding, a Honeymoon Donation jar, we had lots of cash for the honeymoon. I think we were given over $200.00 beyond the regular gifts.
Instead of giving gifts to the wedding party and helpers at the wedding, we bought personal gifts for each of them during our honeymoon. That way, we could buy things without guilt. We also bought ourselves a wedding present, a beautiful glass clock.
We registered for gifts at a local department store and also at Pier One. When we returned from our honeymoon, we opened all our gifts and took stock. We received very few sets of fine china and silverware so we returned the odd pieces and were able to get an entire set of everyday dishes (Fiestaware), cookware and some Henkels knives that I still use today. We also received quite a few gift certificates for that purpose. Many people chose to shop at Pier One and as we had picked out things that we wanted for our house, there was almost nothing we felt like returning there.
Including the honeymoon, I don't think that the wedding cost more than $2000.00. Without the help of all of our friends and family, it would have been impossible. I have received many compliments on the wedding itself, it was fun for all and very unpretentious. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your loved ones. This was everyone's wedding and everyone felt a part of it. My husband and I will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary this Labor Day. I hope that my story will inspire other brides and grooms to create their own special, frugal wedding.
Well, I think you had a great wedding. MY wedding is in July and I am going to be so happy with my dollar tree wedding. Check out pinterest for that lavender table setting. Awesome for about $100.
My dress will be lavender or green like yours was. It will not be a wedding dress but something comfortable. I am going to city hall for the wedding and having our reception at a party room in my building. The food will be made by family and I bought heart shaped charms that I am putting on silver chains as three gifts. my two step daughter's and my only daughter will get them.
We are paying $100 for the room and we get it from 6 am to after 1 am. Can't beat that. Three friends are decorating it with dollar tree finds. candles, wine glasses and fake flowers. All of non needed items will be returned the following day.
We were going away for our honey moon but I said frugal would not be frugal if we did that. We are decorating his house and spending a few days there. The wedding will cost us less than $500 total and will be great. I am now going to do your idea for the wedding photos. I am going to walmart to see if they still take them. Everyone there has awesome cell phones so I already planned to ask them for pictures.
Consider a nice but not formal dress for your wedding party or yourself. Some bridal shops have new dresses from previous seasons at a huge discount.
I have a friend who just recently married and learned (the hard way), that the advice I gave her a year ago proved to be true. She spent almost a year and about $68,000 on "the perfect wedding".
You don't have to spend a fortune to have a wonderful wedding. Here are tips from the ThriftyFun community for saving money on wedding costs. What advice can you add?
I enjoy working on weddings. Letting my imagination go results in delightful lovely decorations:
For my daughter's wedding, she wanted to use lots of white lights. At this time of year, you can't just go out to your local department store and buy them so we decided to borrow as many as we could.
Use skills that you and your family's have to save money and to make your day and your memories extra special.
Major life changes require some major planning. Instead of digging out of the financial hole that a wedding leaves in your bank account, prepare to hurdle across it.
My biggest tip for wedding decorations is borrow, borrow, borrow! We borrowed as much greenery, lights, tulle, gossamer, etc. as we could. We also borrowed dishes, punch bowls, serving bowls, etc. for the reception.
I found tree topper bows at Michael's that were 70% off! These will serve as our pew bows for a "winter" wedding in 3 weeks.
Last week, I was lucky enough to marry the most loving, caring, mature, unselfish, and honest man in the entire world.
When planning a wedding, watch the paper for auctions of floral shops, bridal shops, etc. My daughter and I did this and found a florist who's business was being auctioned off.
If you are planning to have a Christmas church wedding then this tip may help save you some money and time on decorations. Most churches decorate for the holidays and it is quite beautiful. So plan your wedding during the time that they have their decorations up for the holidays.
A great, charming, and usually wildly inexpensive venue for a wedding (especially a small/medium size one) is to check for small, hole in the wall Bed and Breakfasts or inns in very small towns in the mountains or other rural areas.
Get married on the beach. Have a very casual wedding outside and then have a reception at your home. Just make sure the weather is going to to good. Less expensive and very enjoyable.
We have compiled numerous links to resources to help you save money on your upcoming wedding. Feel free to add your own ideas and resources.
Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.
My daughter is getting married in August and we are in need of an inexpensive wedding hall. I'm trying to help her. But funds are really tight. We need a place that is clean, with a kitchen, tables and chairs, that will allows us to bring food, and that we can decorate the night before. Due to the fact that it's my job, and I have to decorate the church as well.
Juanamie from Washington, DC
I would call a church and ask how much to rent out their dining hall? Some churches need money and would have what you requested. I know baptist churches have dining halls, for Wednesday night dinners. A medium sized church might be more reasonable.. and less in use : )
If you belong to a church, see about using/renting the Fellowship Hall. Or if you don't belong to a church, see if one of your friends does and find out if you can rent hers.