Do you think a child is too young to start going to the movies alone or anywhere alone at age 12 and a half in 7th grade? Should I wait till she gets older?
Rachel from San Antonio
Personally, I think 12 is too young to go out by themselves, especially if your daughter is on the petite size. At 12, is she still small enough to be picked up and carried off?
Also, I don't think most 12 year olds have the maturity yet to handle themselves in the situations they may encounter while out all by themselves.
Is she going with friends, or all by herself? We allow my 12 year old daughter to go to the movies with her girlfriends, but only to the theaters that are not attached to a mall and one parent drops off and the other is waiting to pick up when they get out. I would not let her loose at the mall! I trust my daughter and I believe she has been lectured enough to know what to look out for.
With that said ---
We have to, as parents, consider the maturity level of our children and their knowledge of how the REAL world works. I don't even allow my 15 y/o to go anywhere alone. Most children this age are not good judges of character in their "friends" let alone strangers that prey on children. Even if she has had the talk from the policeman that visited the school, she isn't ready and neither are you ready to let her go out alone. For your own peace of mind, keep her close as possible.
I am with you,I am a Grandma and and in this day and age,I wouldn't let a 16 year go out unless they were with someone ,it only takes a minute for something to happen and the rest of your life to regret it.
There is no way I would let my 12yr old daughter go places alone in this day and age. Let kids be kids for as long as possible. Going somewhere in a semi-supervised group is a different story. For instance, a group of girls go with one mom to the mall and go off by themselves for awhile. I know kids are all in a hurry to grow up (especially girls) but stand firm and eventually she will appreciate it.
My daughter just turned 13 and the only place I let her go alone is the dollar theater. BUT, that's with a group of peers. I drop her off right before the movie and then pick her up right afterwards. She has a cell phone and is very responsible or I wouldn't let her do this. I think being a smart parent involves teaching your kids about different scenarios. I mean, you could be at Wal-Mart, your 12 year old could run to the bathroom, be out of your sight for 5 minutes and just vanish. Teach her to be smart and go over different dangerous scenarios with her. Like, my daughter knows that she is NEVER to leave a store without me. She isn't to go looking for me in the car because I will NEVER leave the store without her. She knows how to go to the front and ask for my name to be called over the loud speaker. Just stuff like that. But erring on the side of caution is always best. :)
No, I don't think a 12 yr old girl...or boy for that matter should be out somewhere alone....just my personal opinion based on the way the world is today. It's just not safe!
I am certainly glad that I am NOT the only one to say Absolutely NOT.
I was thinking I would be alone, due to my age!! I am 62 and raising my grand daughter who is now 11.
She will NOT be "malling" or driving or running around in packs with her peers. It is just too dangerous and too tempting for getting into trouble. And never mind "but, I trust, her"-
teens are NOT CAPABLE of seeing down the road...it is all about the pleasure of the moment.
YES,...12 IS TOO YOUNG, AS WELL AS 13, 14, 15, 16 possibilly 17
Unless an adult is with her she should not go out alone..To many things could happen..When my Daughter was that age I went with her and her friends to movies or anywhere else they wanted to go.
Well I think it all depends on maturity. Although age could be something to look out for, maturity is a big key and so is trust. My husband and I decided that we'd see what happen if we let our daughter go and just show up early, to see what's going on. Its a old trick in the book although its might be embarrising to the kids you can get a taste of the enviroment your children are in. I also consider the fact that every child needs to grow up and I just started letting my 14 year old son and 12 year old daughter go together.
It is really an individual thing depending on where you live and how responsible your daughter is. When I was young, I walked to school by myself from a very early age (6). It's always better though at any age when she can go with another person.
Susan from ThriftyFun
Everyone here has made some very good points. I say NO, SHE'S TO YOUNG!!!
When I was twelve years old, riding my bike in my own residential neighborhood in the middle of the afternoon, a man hiding between two parked cars exposed himself to me. I was terrified and couldn't get home fast enough. Even at that time, I was so thankful that he didn't come out from between those two cars and grab me. So, I would have to say that, no, a twelve year old is not old enough to go places alone. It has nothing to do with how mature they are, nothing to do with how safe you think your neighborhood is; it has everything to do with how unsafe the world is. Safety in numbers, as the old saying goes. Don't let your children go anywhere alone.
I will first say that I do not have any children yet, but I can give you the point of view of a younger person. I'm 25. I was allowed to ride my bike in the neighborhood or walk to the corner store by myself at this age. I was able to go to the mall or movies with friends. I was always mature for my age. I'm an only child that grew up in the company of adults. I appreciate that my parents gave me some freedom, but still kept a watchful eye. If they would have continued holding my hand well into high school like some of you have suggested, I never would have learned independence. I also feel that children should be taught to be safe, but work to find a balance. You don't want them to be paranoid and think that everyone and everything is "out to get them".
I agree with Erin. I have had some friends whose "mommies" have held their "hand" up until 9,10,11, 12th grade, and they don't know what to do know. They have always had someone there and now that they are alone they can't function at 100% because they don't know how to behave. I'm 19, but was allowed to roam Wal-Mart and the like around 12-14..,while my parents where in the store.don't remember exactly when. My sister on the other hand had to wait a few years because she was not mature enough or emotionally stable enough to go on her "own". If I remember correctly, not long after I was alloweded to start roaming, we got cell phones to stay in touch.
12 IS TOO YOUNG! THERE IS TOO MUCH THAT COULD HAPPEN.
My son was allowed to go to movies ,amusement parks and malls with other then family members around 12 years old. He OD'd 9 days before his 21st birthday. Your child you can trust most times. It is who he or she comes in contact with when they are out on their own.
It wound be far better the 12 to 16 years olds go out in some kind of youth club functions.
Parents you might want to think of possability of getting together with other neighbors and friends to start such clubs. I mean you already have Black Homes
What I am talking about takes Love , Caring and little Time .
Please Try and do something.
I have a friend that says to her children,"your body is mine until you turn 18" that's how I feel about my kids, Supervision is the key!
I didn't see the feedback by azDana before I started to respond, but I COMPLETELY agree!! They're still children at 12. Even though the public is more dangerous than the private, how comfortable would you feel about leaving her alone in the house should you ever decide to go for a long night out? If you're cautious about that, think about her in the public alone. Does that bring about a sense of peace and well-being when you think about it?
I was allowed to go to the movies with my best friend when I was 12 and in 7th grade. Usually, one of us would ask our parents if it was ok, then call the other one. Then, before hanging up the phone, we both passed the phone to our moms and they chatted and arranged transportation. Our parents got to know each other after we became friends at school and I think that helped them feel better about who their kids were hanging out with.
I agree with the two younger people (I am 24) that mention at some point you do have to stop holding kids' hands. My mom sheltered me a lot and did a lot for me and I still have a trouble in social situations even now. I was always a good kid and my parents didn't have any reason not to trust me, but they didn't trust the rest of the world and that kind of hindered me in learning to function in it. But I think the way they assisted in arranging my social life in 7th grade was healthy.
I think if your child is responsible and you trust them at age 12 then they should be able to go to the movie by themselves. If they have something that they could reach you with if they need you then i would say, what the heck (:_*
I'm 12 but also in martial arts for 3 years.i go to the movies with friends(of course my embarrasing mom has to drive me).My dad is paranoid and if he knew he would go ballistic.i'm not allowed to date till 16 but like wateva.not gonna listen.parents have issues.like,as long as she knows where i an it's fine.in the mall,my aunt lets me wonder.she'll find me.i think it stresses my perents less to know that i take teakwon-do very seriously and can defend myself.I look out for creepers(as my friend calls them).Parents are easier on their sons. especially dads.their daughters are like prisoners.yes more can happen to a girl but guys are more egotistic and will steal or watever to be in "the group".most guys wont hit girls.at my school,if you hit a girl,your friends will tell you off.I guess i only go to Lloys with a poplulation less than 500 00 so if ur a big city mom then i can sorta see your point.
Yes. But the parent should be in the mall somewhere just in case of an emergency. At least 2 of the kids in a group should have there cell phones with them, 12- 16 should all be in a group, and I would agree on the lighter parent supervision, just don't stalk them because it used to be embarrassing when my parents did that, give them like 30 dollars to buy something for themselves in the mall, and just let them go, most likely nothing will happen with a group of 12 year olds, but never leave 12 year olds responsible of a nine year old, because nine year olds will not listen to the tweens!
Definitely. I'm 12 and started going places with my cousin (who is now 15, 13 then) when I was 10. Then when I was 11 I was allowed to hang out with friends my age alone. So I definitely think you're old enough to go places alone.
I don't think age matters. What is important is that is your child responsible enough and mature for her age or his age and could you trust your child to make important decisions in case of emergency situations it all depends on the maturity of the child.
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