When living with a partner it is important to have a clear understanding of how the household costs are divided. This guide is about sharing living expenses with boyfriend.
Share a solution for this guide today!
Here are questions related to Sharing Living Expenses With a Boyfriend or Girlfriend.
My boyfriend of three years moved in with me a little over a year ago due to loss of a job in his city and him finding one in mine. I have two daughters that are 18 and 21 and still live with me. He buys groceries from week to week and spends about $300 - $400 a month but has not offered to pay any rent or utilities.
How should I approach him to share in these expenses too as he is living with us full time? The house is only in my name. Thanks.
By Robin from New Orleans, LA
Talking money is tough. It's one of the hardest things on any relationship. Tell him you'd like to set aside some time for the two of you to discuss finances. Agree on a time when both of you will be fairly relaxed and not running late to some other appointment. Then, just tell him how you feel. Literally say "I feel... " Avoid saying things like "you never..." or "you always..."
If you have a good relationship and he's a good man, using kind, not accusing wording you should be able to work out a more fair arrangement. Saying something like "I really appreciate your buying groceries. It helps a lot. But I feel that we're not splitting our overall living expenses in a fair way and want to discuss how we could make it more fair."
In my mind, I would think he should be paying somewhere between 1/4 to 1/2 of all living expenses, depending on what your kids financial situations are (if they're full time students I don't think they should be expected to pay as much as if they're simply working) You may want to figure what the total monthly expenses are before you sit down together. It's honesly possible that he simply isn't aware that 300 - 400 a month isn't his fair share.
You really need to know what the monthly expenses total before you can approach him. That includes everything you pay for and everything he pays for. And to be fair, keep in mind that if you break up, the house is still yours so I wouldn't try to make him pay for a full half of your mortgage. You need to come up with something fair for the living expenses you both share.
I live with my boyfriend. I own the house free and clear, except I just built a 2 car garage with a small mortgage that I pay for. Should he help pay for homeowners insurance and property taxes since he is living here? We split all other shared expenses - food, utilities, gym, etc. We pay individually for clothes, personal expenses. etc.
Does he pay rent anywhere? If yes then no, he should not pay the other expenses. But if he pays no rent, then he should pay half of those expenses as well.
I am a student out my country and I have boyfriend like me. He works, but I can not find a job. From the first date we have lived together, some times in his house some times in my dormitory. After the summer we are back again from our country to Cyprus and he insist to live only in his house.
My question is, how can I share my expenses with him? Actually I do everything in house like a housewife, but at the time of shopping for household supplies, we share the expenses. At this point it makes me sad not for lack of money, because I think he doesn't care. I don't know what to do? Please help me.
Move out. You are not married, not legally obligated to stay. Why are you "acting" like a wife? Even wives have benefits such as part ownership of property, medical benefits from husband's job if not from her own. I'm always amused when people just "live together" they think they have all the rights of a married couple. There's a lot more to marriage than just living together.
My GF of 2 and a half yrs is moving in with me. It was a mutual decision based on us wanting to be together. We are 50 yrs old. She previously had an apartment for which she paid roughly a $1000 a month in rent plus all the utilities that go with an apt (gas, electric, cable, water). I own a home with a $1300 monthly mortgage. Here comes the problem. She agrees to pay half of the utilities, but is having a problem paying anything towards the mortgage. I don't expect her to pay half, but if she pays nothing then she is living rent free which I don't think is right What do you think is fair?
Have her split the utilities, but pitch in for groceries 50/50. I would have a problem contributing to a mortgage if my name was not on the deed also. And if you love each other, what's the big deal? I was able to contribute greatly to my families income during the past 25 years, I got sick and now I don't have much financial contribution. My husband loves me and does not care. It's not about the money. Don't nitpick, you might lose her.
I live with my boyfriend, he owns the home so I didn't get a say in if it was affordable. However it's not bad either, but he lives there with his 2 kids, 10 and 11 years old. He would have to pay the mortgage anyways, it's not like I am taking up any space being that I share a room with him. Should I have to pay half the mortgage and utilities? How about food? My boyfriend thinks it's fair that I split that cost as well.
He makes almost twice as much as I do and has no bills what so ever. I'd like to get myself out of debt so we can have a future. I don't think it's fair I pay half of the food when I am only eating 1/4 of it, if that. I work through dinner hours and eat like a bird the rest of the time. His 2 kids eat twice as much as I can and my boyfriend eats 3 times as much as me. His food costs are astronomical.
Basically I took on a second job to do what he thinks is fair, but I am killing myself and he is saving money. Does any of that seem fair. How can I talk to him? I tried a couple of times and it almost resulted in our breaking up. He wants a girl who can pay half. I am almost positive he is looking at his benefit only.
This is not fair at all. At the most, you should be paying 1/4 of the expenses, since you are only one of 4 in the household. Also, unless he is willing to put YOUR name on the house, you should not have to pay toward the mortgage. As well, in any relationship, the one who makes the most money should pay a larger percentage of the costs, based on the size of their earnings.
I really think that you should reconsider your relationship with this man. He does not sound like someone who treats you with respect or kindness. If he did, he would be helping you with your debts, and not making your situation worse.
And then, as others have mentioned, there is the whole housekeeping and chores issue, which you haven't even mentioned. Again, as they are three, and you are one, and you are working two jobs, they should be doing the vast majority of the housework.
I don't think this is a good relationship for you. Give serious thought to whether there is a good future for you with this man. He sounds very controlling to me.
Should I contribute to my partner's mortgage if his house is going to his four kids when he dies? We are getting married and he wants a pre-nup that says his kids get the house, yet I am contributing and could be for years. Or should I just be paying my half?
By Denise L
Lousy deal for you! Don't pay a penny toward that house, but instead open a savings account in your name only and contribute monthly. You'll need it when he dies and leaves you homeless. I'm thinking you two need some serious counseling before you make a commitment to him. I would personally be insulted if a man tried to make a deal like that with me. Fortunately, I've been married for 43 years to a wonderful man who would never treat me like that. Think about it, please.
I have just found out I am pregnant and therefore my boyfriend and I are now looking to move in together. I plan to go back to work after the baby is born and work about 30 hours a week. He works as a PT and only works about 15-20 hours a week, usually outside of times I work. Therefore it seems like we could make it work, however he is now talking about sharing money completely which makes me nervous. I know we will now be a "family" however I'm still wanting my independence. How can I have both? Also, he has a house which he rents out and he has to add to it each week to pay the mortgage. He is looking to put this into a trust so I cannot have any claim on it (fair enough). However, if we are sharing money then am I not technically paying for some of it without having any claim? It's all so hard to talk about and is driving me insane!