RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
We had to send our loved lab "Shadow" to GOD yesterday. She was 13 years, 2 months and a few days old. She was on Viagria for her heart condition for the past year which allowed her to get the blood to her heart and gave her the chance to enjoy life. She developed pneumonia in one lung and few days ago and we thought she would get better and come home from the ICU at the hospital but.. she turned for the worse and we just couldn't bear to see her struggle for air. It is the worst feeling we have ever been through in our lives. We cant stop crying and cant believe she isn't with us anymore. She was everything to us. All of our decisions were based on what was best for her throughout the last 13 years. I hope time helps. There will never be another dog that can come close to her. She was so loving to us and waited for us to get to the hospital so we could all be together before she said goodbye. Yes, all dogs (and cats) go to heaven. God bless you Shadow, we love you and miss you!
Posted on 06/19/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I just recently lost my black lab shadow that i had for 12 years. She has always been part of my life and a big part of my life. I also lost my other black lab Misty about 3 weeks before that. It has been really difficult time. Misty had to be put to sleep when she was about 10 because of cancer and if that wasn't hard enough 3 weeks after that was when we had to put shadow down. They were both loved a lot and I miss them everyday! I really wish that they could both come back but deep down I know they are in a better place. it is interesting that all these emotion is just now coming up. After they first passed I was upset, but not to the extreme that I am now. I feel like I have been crying for 3 days and can't stop. I really wish that I could feel better because I hate feeling this way.
Posted on 03/14/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to put my cat a sleep 2/24/09. I thought he was just in some pain from arthritis but after taking xrays we learned that his bowls were so impacted that this had caused him to get an infection in his intestine. The procedure to undo this is very traumatic to an animal and 99% of the time the animal ends up passing away. So, I had no choice! I did not want KC in any more pain then he was already in. I had him for 13 years and he was unlike no other cat you could ever imagine.
He went every where with me and we did everything together. Now he's gone and my heart is broken. I know I'll heal and I hope he knows what I did was for his own good and that he is up above playing with Prince, Tinker, and Fergie! Mommy loves you KC. We miss you and will see you soon! Bye Bug!
Posted on 02/27/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Wow. It has been 5 months since I lost me beloved cat, Henry. He had been with me for 17 years. I won't go into details, but even though I did everything possible for him when he was sick, mistakes were made, and the guilt is horrendous. I'm sure many of you have experienced this. We were best friends, and the grief from his death has been overwhelming. My prayers to all of you who told your stories on this thread. You are not alone.
Posted on 02/20/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Missed Coco dearly since the day she was gone just yesterday morning. She was 9+ years old. Apparently, she went out to search for a pup that happened to ran out of our house through a gap from the autogate that wasn't locked properly.
Damned the gates. :'(. In the end Coco met with a car accident on a street just behind my home. And miraculously the pup returned home the next day after Coco was killed. Coco must have led her back home.
God, I just wish she'll be happy at the other side of the world now. I miss her really badly.
Everywhere and every corner of my home reminds me of her. Those great 9 years spent together. I can never speak or feel her again.
Posted on 01/31/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
We just had to put our beloved cat Nigel down. He was my husband's little buddy, and he'd never bonded with a cat before. The sorrow is almost overwhelming, and he will be very missed.
Posted on 01/13/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to put my loving, faithful dog of 12 years to sleep this week. The pain and grief that I feel is horrible. I loved her more than anything in this world. She brought me so much joy, comfort, love, and support. She got me through so many difficult times. I know she was just a dog, but she was the best friend I could ever ask for. I want to get another dog to make this pain go away, but I know there will never be another one like her. She was the best and loved me so much. I feel horrible about putting her down, but her heart was failing and her lungs were filling with fluid. What hurts the worst is that I did not even get to bring her home one last time. It happened so fast. How do I deal with this?
Posted on 01/13/2009 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I just found this site. my heart is breaking as is most of people posting here. My precious cat of over 17 years is now close to the end. My heart is breaking. Why, oh why, can't I or my vet do anything more to help The tears won't stop I've cried a river and an ocean. I love you so much Ninja my baby boy.
Posted on 12/12/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
It will be one month this coming Friday, I lost my little angel, Lady. She was my joy, my friend, my constant companion, my nurse and caregiver, and never asked for anything. I keep her booster sit in the car with two of her stuffed animals. She is always with me in Spirit,
but my life feels empty and my heart is sad.
I was blessed with 17 wonderful years. Yesterday, I planted a Christmas Tree in the backyard in her and my dad's memory. So when the blinds are open and I am at my computer, I can look at it and think of her. For me, she was my daughter in every way possible. My own children didn't love me the way Lady did. Lady accepted me for who I was UNCONDITIONALLY.
Posted on 12/02/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I lost my dog Maggie this morning to cancer. We had made an appointment on Monday to put her down this morning. The weird thing was, my mom was going to cancel. Two hours before she was to go, her legs gave out. She just collapsed into my arms. I didn't want her to suffer so we drove her to the vet earlier then we were supposed to and they put her down. I held her face and I looked her in her eyes and told her how much I loved her. She was my moms best friend and my best friend.
It is not easy losing a dog. When you tell someone, they can feel for you because it is the most painful thing in the world. Just know that these things happen for a reason. My pupp made me a better person and i thank her for that. Tomorrow is a new day and I will live it for her.
Maggie, Thanks for the memories. I love you noodle. Smile for me in heaven. ~Sarah
Posted on 11/14/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I too have lost my beloved black lab Rebel, he was our best friend, he was the one who has been with us through thick and thin. He has been our only constant through our 11 and half years of marriage. He has been my protector, I could tell him anything- Our whole family is devistated. I never dreamed losing him would come now, despite the fact that he was 11-he was fine thursday - running around like a puppy. On Halloween he woke up but couldnt move - he was diagnosed with Cancer - a tumor opened up - and blood was in his abdomen. Our Vet was amazing, he helped us through a difficult time. We knew that we could not continue to let our boy suffer - only for a few more weeks with him. For us to keep him alive was selfish - only to watch him suffer. We brought him home, took our kids out of school, and we spent the last few hours of his life - with him- the way he was always with us. I know that he will continue to watch over us from heaven, i know- but it dosent make it any easier - we have such a void in our hearts -
Posted on 11/01/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I did know you could feel so much grief after losing a pet. Hollie. my lovely Yorkshire Terrier of nearly 16 years died while I was on holiday, and she was in kennels. It was a kennel she had been to regularly, run by a great elderly couple and is a small concern. This meant they very quickly realized she was ill and took her to the vet as soon as they could.
Her kidneys had failed this happened suddenly it was felt she was too ill and had to be put to sleep. I feel distraught made worse by the fact I was not here when she needed me most. Has this happened to anyone else I feel so terrible like I put my enjoyment before her well being.
I loved her so much and although I gave her the best possible life I feel I let her down so badly I always wanted to be with her at the end to hold her and tell her how much I love her.
Posted on 10/14/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Well, I lost my cat Borsia today after 7 years. She was my lap warmer, foot warmer, stress reliever and best pal! A week ago I had taken her into the vet because she hadn't been eating. After many tests he felt that she had some sort of liver disease, and possible cholangiohepatitis. After taking her to a critical care facility, she had a feeding tube placed and was put on multiple meds. I brought her home and was her nurse all day yesturday, feeding her, and giving her water and meds through the tube. She didn't seem like she was getting any better, but I thought, maybe by morning she will perk up. Well this moring she looked worse and I rushed her to the vet. The vet wanted to run some tests and I left her there, not giving up yet. Well by the time I made it home, (I live 5 minutes away) the vet called and said he felt that she was close to passing and that I should come back immediately. I grabbed my daughter and her dad and we were there in 5 minutes. Unfortunately, she was gone when we got there:( It was so painful to know I hadn't been there. I also had to explain to my daughter (4 years old) that kitty wasn't coming back home and she was so sad. Seeing her hurting made my pain even worse. They brought Borsia in to the room and we all pet her and told how much we would miss her and that we loved her. Every room I go into, I see evidence of my friend and I just start crying. There is definately a void now. I suffered the loss of a dog years ago that I had for 18 years so this is not the first friend I have lost. Time,talking about your loss, and surrounding yourself with people you love is the best medicine. Also, sometimes it helps to look for a new friend when the time is right. Adopting is a way to give a new pet a loving home and feel like you are making a difference as well, which can be healing also. For me giving all that love I have to give was helpful to work through the loss, and build some new memories with a new friend. Pets for me have always been the best medicine, I guess that's why I have always had one or two or more! Getting a new one has never replaced my lost but not forgotten friends however. Each animal is unique and special to me in different ways. I continue to cherish the memories of the pet friends I have lost though the years. They will all live on through my memories of times shared. Today I mourn for Borsia, but I know that she suffers no more and that I was lucky enough to know her and be her best friend. For that I am truly grateful.
Posted on 09/22/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Well, I lost my cat Borsia today after 7 years. She was my lap warmer, foot warmer, stress reliever and best pal! A week ago I had taken her into the vet because she hadn't been eating. After many tests he felt that she had some sort of liver disease, and possible cholangio hepatitis. After taking her to a critical care facility, she had a feeding tube placed and was put on multiple meds.I brought her home and was her nurse all day yesterday, feeding her, and giving her water and meds through the tube. She didn't seem like she was getting any better, but I thought, maybe by morning she will perk up.
Well this morning she looked worse and I rushed her to the vet. The vet wanted to run some tests and I left her there, not giving up yet. Well by the time I made it home, (I live 5 minutes away) the vet called and said he felt that she was close to passing and that I should come back immediately. I grabbed my daughter and her dad and we were there in 5 minutes. Unfortunately, she was gone when we got there:( It was so painful to know I hadn't been there. I also had to explain to my daughter (4 years old) that kitty wasn't coming back home and she was so sad. Seeing her hurting made my pain even worse.
They brought Borsia in to the room and we all pet her and told how much we would miss her and that we loved her. Every room I go into, I see evidence of my friend and I just start crying. There is definately a void now. I suffered the loss of a dog years ago that I had for 18 years so this is not the first friend I have lost. Time,talking about your loss, and surrounding yourself with people you love is the best medicine. Also, sometimes it helps to look for a new friend when the time is right. Adopting is a way to give a new pet a loving home and feel like you are making a difference as well, which can be healing also.
For me giving all that love I have to give was helpful to work through the loss, and build some new memories with a new friend. Pets for me have always been the best medicine, I guess that's why I have always had one or two or more! Getting a new one has never replaced my lost but not forgotten friends however. Each animal is unique and special to me in different ways.
I continue to cherish the memories of the pet friends I have lost though the years. They will all live on through my memories of times shared. Today I mourn for Borsia, but I know that she suffers no more and that I was lucky enough to know her and be her best friend. For that I am truly grateful.
Posted on 09/22/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I have just been told my 5 year old great dane has bone cancer and that she has possibly 6 weeks before the pain is too bad and I will have to make the decision to have her put to sleep. The lump on her leg appeared within days and I can almost see it getting bigger daily. The worst thing is she is such a happy dog, she behaves like a puppy, she is loving and such a good friend. How will I know when it is the time to say goodbye, I adore her, I can't stop crying, and the grief is so prolonged, I keep trying to think of things she would love to do, eat, play with, thinking all the time she will soon not be here. I feel like my heart will break.
Posted on 09/14/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
My beautiful 7 year old cat Juliet, who I called Ju-Ju, was killed four days ago in our back yard by a neighborhood dog. I am absolutely devastated and can't stop crying. I miss her so much and it breaks my heart every second that I have to live without her. It's hard feeling alone because everyone tells me "it's just a cat" when she was so much more than that.
I do wonder if it will ever get easier. I keep telling myself she's in Heaven, happy and loved, and I'll see her again, but it doesn't seem to help. I only start thinking about her not being here with me still and how much I miss her. It's still so surreal... no, my Ju-Ju can't actually be gone, right?
I have other cats but strangely it still feels so quiet and lonely at home... mostly b/c she was the loud one haha... I know in time It'll get easier but I will always miss her and I don't know if I will ever think of her without tears forming in my eyes. Goodbye my beautiful baby girl.
Posted on 09/08/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I can't believe it. My dog Peppy of 16 years is gone. I don't know what i'll do without him. He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We knew everything about each other. I would come home and the one thing that would get me going no matter what day I had was seeing him.
I think I want to get another dog, but its hard. I won't ever love a dog like this again. He's been with me since Junior high. I knew it was the right thing to do, he was suffering so much. He couldn't see or hear and had no idea where he was. I knew I wouldn't want to live like that.
I gave him his favorite food the last few days. Also gave him food he hadn't had for a long time. He loved chewing on corndog sticks. Those were his favorite.
I knowI was lucky to have him for this long. Yorkies don't usually go this far. But it doesn't make it really any easier. I keep looking around the house looking for him, hoping it was all a dream.
I feel for all of you who have lost a dog. Or even a sibling. This must be what its like to lose a brother or son. I was thinking about making a scrapbook of all his pictures and putting it together. Also make a collage of his pictures and hang it on the wall. I'm also going to write a letter to him to tell him how I felt about him.
The World doesn't make much sense when your dog is gone. Nothing else seems to matter much anymore. I don't care about Baseball right now or anything I liked before. How can i get past this? Is it possible? Does the pain ever go away?
Daniel
Editor's Note: Daniel, it does get better over time but it does take time. Making your scrapbook is a good thing to do and allow yourself to grieve. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself and do get another dog, but give it a little time.
Posted on 09/08/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
This is the saddest day of my life. Only 45 minutes ago, I had to say goodbye to my best-friend, and closest companion...my black lab named Renegade. I have had dogs my whole life, but this one was something extraordinary. He was so much like a person, it was scary sometimes. He had incredible intelligence and intuition. I loved him more than anything in the world. We found out that after 12 years of happiness, he had developed cancer, and his quality of life went rapidly downhill after that. Even though I know it was the right thing to do, putting him down was the hardest decision I have ever made, and I have been crying off and on all day...I haven't cried in at least 10 years! It hurts so much, I can't explain. I don't have any children, so he was "my boy" and now I have nothing but memories. This is the saddest day of my life.
Posted on 07/29/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I feel incredibly guilty because I know that I waited too long, but I wanted her to go naturally, and that's just what she did. Now, I wish that I had just put her down, but, at the same time, no one really knows what it's like to be euthanized. I know what it's like to be put under before surgery, and it's not good, but I think than I would prefer that than having a WTF moment and all of a sudden I can't breathe cause my lungs a re filling with fluid, which is exactly what happened to my cat, beloved friend of 19 years.
Strangely, it seemed as though she fought for every breath, didn't let go for one second. I had some pain meds and when I noticed that it was starting to get intense, I just gave her the rest of them and hoped and prayed that she was as high as a kite while all of this was going on.
Even stranger, was that the night before I had become sick and had to call in to work. When I noticed that she was having some real difficulty breathing I called the vet and asked if they had any openings, and they had availability at 9:40 which, coincidentally, was the same exact time that she died. Maybe she just wanted me to be with her when it all went down. Maybe EVERYBODY wanted me to be with her when she made her transition (you'll see what I mean in the next paragraph)
Now the strangest thing, was my schizoid moment when I actually think that I heard voices telling me to let her die peacefully at home, as I was trying to get out of the house and to the vet to try and alleviate the rest of what I thought to be intense suffering.
Nothing in her behavior, really, ever said to me 'put me down'. She was still jumping into the bed, eating, drinking and purring right up to the last minute. This was not a sudden death either; she had renal failure. It was only a day or two before that I noticed slight changes and had decided to make the appointment.
Posted on 07/24/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I just had to put my 12 year old rottwieler down on Monday. I am so devastated I don't know what to do. I cry all the time. I have 2 small boys 7 and 2 1/2 that miss him so much.. I have been through everything with my dog. He was before my husband,children. Someone please tell me how to move on. I feel like I lost one of my children. I think losing a pet is one of the hardest things to face. When you know they are sick you are doing the right thing, "he had bone cancer" but adjusting to not having them around anymore is so hard.
Posted on 07/18/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
i just lost my little Joey. he was a male cat, 4 years old. I've lost pets before, so i was so worried about losing him all the time. i tried not to get too attached so it wouldn't be as painful this time. but he turned out to be the best cat ever. He would run to my car everyday when I got home. Unfortunately he wasn't afraid of cars and he got run over last night. I'm so glad I didn't find him. He was my best friend, i don't know how I will go on. I cant stop crying. I feel guilty as I let him out. My husband said it would have happened sooner or later. I wish it would have been later. I will miss him every day. Goodbye my JOJO
Posted on 06/20/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to let my Winchester go on Sunday his heart was giving out from the tumur wrapped around it that was cancer.he had surgery in Feb. that gave us more time I tried so hard to buy us more time. I can't get the image of him dead in my arms at the vets office to ease his pain. I can't seem to feel safe or ok. He loved and took such good care of me and me Him. My angel puppy is gone. How do I keep going?
Posted on 05/29/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Grief Stricken (Guest Post)
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I have a cuttest 2yr old Golder Retriever named Buddy. We got him when he was 10 wks old. He has already more then moderate level of Hip Dysplasia on both hips. We detected this when he was 8 mo. We think, he had this problem since his birth.
Buddy is extremely sensitive and a timid dog. With the pain and his personality, we are having a lot of issues with him hurting my 14 yr old son and my husband. I have to put him to sleep next week, but I hate myself for doing this. My 12 yr. olf son would not talk to me, 14 old knows this is a right thing to do but can not accept the outcome. The fact is, we gave Buddy 6-7 chances after major accidents. Despite all this, Buddy's life style was very grand. We have spared no money for his well being or comfort or training. With his medical, behavioral and history of bites, he would not be adoptable. Plus, there are lot of medical expenses, that the new family may not like. He is my high maintenance baby. I feel he will not be happy or well cared for in any other home similarly he was at my home. How do I come to terms with accpeting this decision? I also can not get a new dog, because, my older son has some leadership issues with dogs. Please advise.. I want to cry but I can not since I have to be strong for my kids.
Posted on 05/22/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Grief Stricken (Guest Post)
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I have a cuttest 2yr old Golder Retriever named Buddy. We got him when he was 10 wks old. He has already more then moderate level of Hip Dysplasia on both hips. We detected this when he was 8 mo. We think, he had this problem since his birth.
Buddy is extremely sensitive and a timid dog. With the pain and his personality, we are having a lot of issues with him hurting my 14 yr old son and my husband. I have to put him to sleep next week, but I hate myself for doing this. My 12 yr. olf son would not talk to me, 14 old knows this is a right thing to do but can not accept the outcome. The fact is, we gave Buddy 6-7 chances after major accidents. Despite all this, Buddy's life style was very grand. We have spared no money for his well being or comfort or training. With his medical, behavioral and history of bites, he would not be adoptable. Plus, there are lot of medical expenses, that the new family may not like. He is my high maintenance baby. I feel he will not be happy or well cared for in any other home similarly he was at my home. How do I come to terms with accpeting this decision? I also can not get a new dog, because, my older son has some leadership issues with dogs. Please advise.. I want to cry but I can not since I have to be strong for my kids.
Posted on 05/22/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To Zoey who lost her cat from complications of spaying:
My heart aches for you, Zoey, as it does with everyone who has had to suffer from the loss of a pet. I know you will keep going over in your mind, "What if" and thinking you should have done things differently. You were a loving pet parent, and it is NOT your fault. I know it's so difficult, and it's hard to believe now, but time will help the grief, but you will always hold a special place in your heart for your dear pet. The pet is at peace now, and maybe if you can focus on that. We all think of things we should have done differently, but you did nothing wrong.
I do think, though, I would change vets; That's just my opinion.
I will be thinking of you, and please accept my deepest sympathy. If I have missed extending my sympathy to anyone else here, you know that I feel for each one of you.
Posted on 04/17/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I just lost my two year old healthy cat after complications from a spay. I got her out from under the bed tuesday morning. Took her to the vet as soon as they opened at 7:30am. The doctor wasn't there yet. She had labored breathing and was crying. I had to sit there and watch her die and there was nothing I could do about it. I WISH I had had the opportunity to euthanize instead of making her suffer through it. I'm devastated. All of you who were able to humanely let your loved ones go are blessed. My baby suffered. I don't know how to ever get over that.
Posted on 04/16/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Bevin Rowland (Guest Post)
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I just recently lost my youngest cat Pepper very suddenly, and I'm very lost. So many people look at me funny and they say that she was just a cat, but to me and my husband she was one of our children. I feel like I lied to her because I promised I was going to take her home from the Animal Emergency Room and I have all of this grief. I went home when she got stable, but 2 hours later, I checked up on her and she arrested turning her X-Rays. I never got the chance to say good by. I had her cremated. It helps a little to have her home where she belongs but I still miss her every day.
Posted on 04/02/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Our cocker spaniel passed away this morning due to heart failure.
She was almost 11. She was the runt of the litter and weighed on 4.5 pounds when we got her at 3 months. She had had a lot of health problems over the years; seizures, and thyroid problems. She was blind in one eye and going in the other. (her tear ducts had never formed in her eyes)
She liked to go for car rides and sleep in bed with me and loved sitting or sleeping with me on a warm fuzzy blanket. She loved to open Christmas presents. She was one of our children. I miss her so much.
Posted on 02/10/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By anyonomous. (Guest Post)
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Well firstly, it's so great to know that there are people out there who put everything they have into loving a dog, my family recently lost our beloved ten and a half year old Rottweiler to bone cancer, after every step possible to save her life (including amputation of the leg). Nothing in the world hurts more then the loss of a dog. And its okay to grieve, but its not okay to let your life pass by without getting closure. Getting a new dog by NO means will ever replace your old one, but just think of what you would have missed out on if you hadn't gotten your last dog. Sometimes things go wrong so something else can slide into place, and maybe by getting a new dog, you can learn to love and create a bond unbreakable. Its like children, by no means does having a second child mean your no longer going to love your first, its okay to be afraid, but don't ever think your letting your passed dog down by getting a new one, its not replacing, its growing.
Posted on 01/27/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
My dog is very sick - the vet said it was my decision what to do - although putting her down was understood as one of the options. I opted to take her home with the few medications I have for her. I don't know if i can make this decision to put her down. I have so much pain in my heart it is so hard to focus on school. I praying for a miracle I don't know what to to.
Posted on 01/26/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
The loss of a loved pet is never easy. They are every bit a part of our daily lives and families. Grief although difficult to deal with is our way and very natural. Time however will ease the pain. The hole left in one's heart for the most part will heal. I lost Angel, my very dear cat of six years ( from birth) in 2005 and Baby my 14 year old cat in 2006. Both these animals gave more than many humans I know. They are both at rest in a quiet spot in my back yard. The pain did somewhat subside. I don't mind if it never completely heals lest I forget. I have since adopted another and currently have 3. We must go on.
Posted on 01/06/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
The loss of a loved pet is never easy. They are every bit a part of our daily lives and families. Grief although difficult to deal with is our way and very natural. Time however will ease the pain. The hole left in one's heart for the most part will heal. I lost Angel, my very dear cat of six years ( from birth) in 2005 and Baby my 14 year old cat in 2006. Both these animals gave more than many humans I know. They are both at rest in a quiet spot in my back yard. The pain did somewhat subside. I don't mind if it never completely heals lest I forget. I have since adopted another and currently have 3. We must go on.
Posted on 01/06/2008 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I too just lost my dog Cody on November 29th. I loved this dog more than any other animal I have ever owned. She knew me so well and I her. She was 14 years 8 months old. I miss her so much, the only consolation is that I had her cremated immediately so I got her ashes back in 5 days and it felt good to finally have her back with me again. I don't know if I can ever love another dog like this . I almost feel as though I have a dead spot in my heart that I won't be able to fill. My husband hates the quietness in the house but I am not ready for another dog yet. I hope this changes because I know we would make a wonderful home for another dog but right now, I just don't have the desire or want to get one.
Posted on 12/17/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By DeidreLee (Guest Post)
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Two weeks ago I lost my beloved dacshund Fred. He never left my side and I am heartbroken. He was only 7 years old and the vets said he was diabetic. I feel so guilty because I left him overnight at a vet that has no one there during the night. The next day my daughter went and took him to an emergency clinic about 30 miles away. They got there about six and he passed away at 11:30 that night, truly breaking my heart. I lost a son 8 years ago in a car accident, and this loss is one short step from that grief. I had gotten Fred and his sister Ethel (who I still have) from a humane society. My daughter is friends with the people who run that place and two days after Fred left, they called and said they had a miniature Dachshund, and a long haired girl Dachshund. The miniature is a male and I now have him, he will never replace Fred but will become his own "man" in my life. The female was adopted by a very good friend of my daughter, and has a wonderful home. I think the greatest compliment you can give a beloved friend is to give a home to another dog who needs love and care and will provide you will all the love in his heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Deidre
Editor's Note: So sorry to hear about your loss of Fred, Deidre. I'm glad you were able to find a new friend and give him a home.
Posted on 11/24/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Maggie,
Thank you for your kind words. It has been just over a month after Parkway's passing. I miss her everyday and still find myself expecting her when I get home, or careful when getting up not to step on her tail. It has been a difficult adjustment, but I have such great memories and pictures of her. Hope your days are getting better. Chris
Posted on 11/21/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Chris
I know just how you feel, my little black poodle is just below your letter. It is 4 months since I lost her and I am still crying, I have a few tears most days, but also have lots of really happy thoughts about her. She will always be with me. I can't even think about getting another dog yet, I could never replace her. It will get easier I promise.
Maggie
Posted on 11/10/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to put down my sheltie, Parkway, this morning after spending 15 1/2 years together. She was such a loving and smart companion. Although I lived alone with her, I was never lonely. She became immobile and I knew the time had come to let her go. But I wonder if I will recover from the guilt of making that decision and wondering if this emptiness of not having her around will go away. People say to get another dog right away, but I just can't consider that right now. Can anyone tell me how long it took them to go from massive grief to calming thoughts of fond memories? What can I expect without getting a new pet? Your feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Posted on 10/16/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I just had to have my cat, Killer, put to sleep yesterday. It's killing me. He was my best friend, my confidante, my baby. I still don't know how I'm going to get through it. I miss him so much. I'm so sorry for your loss!
Posted on 08/25/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Alicia, I am so sorry to hear that your pet had to go to the shelter. Maybe you could ask your mother for a second chance, seeing there is no guarantee that the pet will be adopted from the shelter? Just remember, your pet is dependent on you, cannot look after or fend for himself. Remember to feed your pet before you eat!! Maybe you could go into an agreement with your mother about the care she would like you to give your pet, so that you know exactly what is expected of you. Please let us know the outcome? You are in my thoughts.
Posted on 08/21/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
after getting your pet tookin away from you
my rabbit miley is now at a animal shelter because my mom didnt think i was ready for a pet . she took her a couple of hours ago. im still crying . i miss her so much but i know that she is in a happier place right now. she may be gone but to me she will always be here in my heart. thank you!! by,alicia
Posted on 08/21/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I don't know how to cope. We lost our little black baby at 14 just 2 weeks ago and I am crying so much.
I know she had to go, and we did the right thing but that doesn't help my feekings of loss.
Posted on 07/19/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
HI, I TOOK MY CAT IN FOR A SORE ON HIS PAD ON HIS PAW, THEY GAVE HIM A SHOT OF MEDECAM AND HE DIED 2 DAYS LATER. I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU. I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS ALSO
Posted on 07/06/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
We lost our little friend Alfie just 2 days ago. He was run over by a car at just 16 months old. We miss him incredibly and sometimes I wonder how we will cope. He bought such joy to our lives and those of our friends. It was nice to read the feedback here as sometimes it feels like noone else has been through this pain before. I dont think i will be ready to get another puppy any time soon, but one day we would like to.
Posted on 06/24/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
TO ERIKA:
PLEASE let me know how you are doing. I have thought about you often!
Posted on 06/15/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To all who have lost pets, or are faced with having to deal with impending heartbreaking decisions.
I am going to check next week at my local library about having meetings for a pet loss support group. I am planning at this time to have the meetings once a month, and there I feel that we can share with each other, and help with our grief.
Maybe those who are grieving, or will soon lose a pet, will find that helpful. However, I would advise allowing yourself some time for grieve before deciding on such an endeavor. Then again, everyone is different, and if that would help you.. to start a support group soon after your loss, then, by all means do so.
Again, thanks to everyone who responds to others who are coping with loss.
All the best to each one of you.
Posted on 06/14/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Hi Erica,
I am SO SORRY that I didn't see your note before now.
You have my deepest sympathy, and if you join the thrify Fun, please write to me personally.
I want to help you in any way that I can.
Posted on 06/14/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I'm so sorry about your fur-baby!
# years ago, I had to put my wonderful Black Lab. to sleep that we have for 14 years. I cried and cried like a baby and missed him so much.
He had a favorite spot to lay in the livingroom on a braided rug and I took a ceramic black lab that I had painted, which looked just like him, and set it on that rug for about a month. My husband and kid's told me I was nuts!! In due time, I set it up off the floor but I know Brusier will always live on in my heart and no other dog can take his place.
2 yrs. after that my husband and daughter took me to a no kill shelter for mother's day and I didn't want to even get out of the car. Told them I don't want another dog, none can take his place. My DH ended up picking out a dog, we brought her home, and I love her, but she's not Bru. Then just 2 yrs. ago, I decided to get her a playmate..that is my little Pebbles, whom I call Debbie for some dumb reason. She is wonderful, and in a round about way, reminds me of Bru so much as she is part black lab.
Just remember how wonderful and special he was and know that he is waiting for you at the rainbow bridge with his tail wagging!
God bless you and comfort you!
Posted on 06/13/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By NellieMary (Guest Post)
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After we lost our beloed Jack Russell we went out and got two Jack Russell puppies. It was the best thing we could have done. We are home all day and we live on a farm so we can care for Jack Russels. we have not forgotten our beloved Jack. I was so busy with the puppies and their antics helped us heal. Many of Jacks traits we see in the new ones.It worked for us maybe not for everyone,
Posted on 06/13/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Hello Morgan,
Thank you for your note of sympathy.
Someone dropped 2 starving abused cats (one was pregnant) off at our house, and I took the starved one with a broken leg to the animal shelter and cried all the way there and back, and called and told them I wanted to get him the next day. He has turned out to be a wonderful pet who has overcome his fear of people, and we throughly enjoy him! We named him Boots, because of his white markings on his feet. The "Mamma Cat" is still afraid of people, but she is getting better. She had 4 kittens that I kept for 8 weeks. I took them to a groomer who found good homes for them. She wandered all over the house crying for her babies, and it just broke my heart. She has scratched me hard, but I will never hurt her. She has been through so much. I approach her very gently and pet her. She is started to trust me, and we have had the cats since September--if I remember correctly.
I still, and always will, grieve for my darling dog, Lewis.
All the best to each one here.
Posted on 04/10/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
i'm so sorry
i feel so bad that you lost your pet i hope you can move on a get a new pet that helped me a lot
Posted on 04/10/2007 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Alleen- I'm wandering online faced with putting my dog to sleep this afternoon, looking for some information or piece of wisdom to make it easier. My dog, Midnight, is 14 1/2 and I can't remember a time when I didn't have him with me. I've heard from so many people that I should start looking for another dog right away, but like you, I can't imagine loving another dog the way I love Midnight.
Reading your question and the responses you've gotten helps me to see this a bit more objectively. The least-selfish and most caring thing we can do is to make our best friends as comfortable as they can be. It's what I would want for myself, and I know our dogs want from us. Please know you made the best choice.
Time will heal this and I agree with some of the others that taking care of a new dog will help to bring you happiness again.
Best wishes to you.
Posted on 11/06/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Our local Hospice has pet grief support groups. Perhaps you might check to see if your Hospice people do that.
Posted on 10/26/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to put down my cat on 8/11/06 so I feel your pain. I try to focus on the beautiful memories that I have in my heart, that is what gets me through each day.
Posted on 08/19/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Dear Teri,
No matter what we do, we always feel guilty when we have to euthanize our beloved animals. I still grieve for having to euthanize my precious dog, Lewis. I think of him, and cry, every day.
My heart goes out to you, but even though we know, intellectually, that what we did was for the best, we can't seem to stop the guilt. Sometimes, I also feel guilty that I waited to long, and let my poor dog suffer. He had terrible hip dysplasia, and large tumors. He was never one to bark much, but the last few weeks of his life, he nevver made a sound. I now wonder if maybe he had throat cancer, and it was not diagnosed. We stopped taking him to the vet, because she knew he was just too old, and was nearing the end. We had him on the strongest pain medication.
Larger dogs are more prone to hip dysplasia. Please don't blame yourself, because you did put your dog to rest, and I did post a poem here, that you can find entitled "Put Me To Rest".
You have my heartfelt sympathy, and as time goes by, the pain will lessen.
All the best to you!
Posted on 08/17/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Hello there, In response your post, I can say I am glad I am not alone. On Monday my husband and I had to decide to put my 5 year old black lab, Roxy down. Since she was born we realized that she had hip dysplatia however about 1 week ago we went to the doctor as she started to get a bad limp. They gave me metacam and said that it would be work great. On Monday she was no better, I have battled with the idea of taking her in as I had this feeling that they were going to put her down. I decided for her sake to take her in to find out, they first said there was so many thing to do until they did the x-ray, when they were done there was no hope, they said that we could take her home but it would never be better for her that her hips were not jsut bad they were extreme and that they would eventually break as they were both really bad. We had to decide to put her down. My poor family I feel like I just killed my best friend and I feel so guilty, yes I did not want her to suffer but what if she could have been okay I don't think she was in pain but it was painful all weekend to watch her limp around. I hope she knows that I love her and that I miss her and I tried my best to do everything that I could. Can anyone help in letting me know that how I feel is normal and that it will get better?
Posted on 08/16/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Michelle, I do know what you are going through, and I still cry daily for missing my dog. I wanted another dog, but my husband refuses.
I agree with Jennifer, that anotehr dog, although will never replace Cleo, will help with the grief. Now, your condo is empty, but you can once again have a dear pet greet you.
My advice though, would be to try and find a dog who is a well-trained dog that is housebroken. Why? Because I think it would be too difficult to go through all that training while you are still grieving. Then again, that is a personal decision.
I think it would be wonderful if you could find a pet who has to be given up because a person can no longer care for it, whether it's fropm the person's illness, or age.
I had an offer just a few days ago to take a well-trained German Shepherd-mix, who I would loved to have had. I still think about how wonderful it would be to have her, but my husband says no. See? You can make that decision yourself.
My heartfelt sympathy to you!
Posted on 08/02/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Dear Michelle,
I am so terribly sorry. Living alone, I have been through this too many times myself. Even though I had other dogs and cats when my loves passed on, the emptiness was almost unbearable and I could not stop sobbing.
The ONLY way I was able to go on was to adopt another rescue, it didn't heal the pain of losing one, but it sure as heck helped. I was then focused on new toys, new treats a new bed, getting him/her to the vet for a checkup, etc.
Someone to fuss over, spoil and who would be waiting for me when I returned home was what I needed.
God Bless, I know these are heart ripping days for you. I wish you strength, and do let us know how you are doing.
Jennifer
Northern Virginia
Posted on 08/02/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I lost my beloved Cleo (17 years old) on Monday, July 31st - it happened suddenly - she came to me as a puppy and was with me through family deaths, illnesses and divorce - i always said the angels brought her - i am suffering profound grief and am unable to go back to my condo after work - i live alone - i don't think i can live without her - she was my life!
Posted on 08/02/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
My sincere condolences for the passing of your beloved pet, Snoop. As an animal lover, and avid pet owner, the loss of a pet is a heart break. Remember, you were blessed with many happy years of pet ownership, wonderful memories, and a relationship that was priceless. If and when you are ready to build a new relationship with a pet, you will know the time is right, and you will be ready to move on. Take Care.
Posted on 07/31/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To Lauren:
I want to expres my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your dear dog, Snoop. I know it feels as if it will never get better, and you will never "get over it", but time helps ease the pain. Af first it is almost like you don'[t believe it, and the pain hits even harder later, or at least for me. 'There is such an ache, and the pain is almost unbearable.The name reminded me of a cat we once had. I let my kids name her, and they named her "Snoopy". Imagine the embarrassment I had when I had to tell the vet I was calling for "Snoopy", and they always thought she was a dog.
It is my belief that one should wait to get another dog. I think we have to get "through" the grief process. I still miss my Lewis, and have cried nearly every day. Someone offered me a dog 2 days ago (this is the 3rd offer), and it, too, was a German Shepherd-mix. I love them, but need a smaller dog. I had to lift Lewis up from a lying position the last days. Oh, how I still miss him.
Now, there are many people who say it helps them to get another dog, but I think I feel as you do.
I made a horrible mistake of getting a cat right after I lost one. I got her from the shelter and she was the "Cat From Hades". We kept her, but she was so destructive , but I knew she had been abused, so I kept her and loved her as much as she would allow.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You may want to visit the website in-memory-of-pets.com. I am not sure now if there is some capitalization in the address, but htere you can write your dear dog a letter, and share your grief, and post a picture. It's a really neat site. I have a tribute to my dog, Lewis Mapes, there.
Posted on 07/31/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
AS a family, we just recently had to put down our beloved dog Snoop, due to anemia. I still am dealing with heart wrenching pain and I know I always will, but the tears have lessened and have slowly been replaced with happy memories. I do not think I'm ready for another dog, although my mom is eager. I don't think that I could handle it yet.
Posted on 07/31/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To Claudia From Canada,
My heart aches every time I read of someone losing their dear animal. Be thankful that you had your dog in your arms. That was the best way for Molly to go, was with her "mommy" who loved her. That is why, although I said I couldn't go in with my Lewis, I DID, and he was totally relaxed. It is common, I think, for us to feel guilty about that procedure, but we must keep tellilng ourselves they are out of pain and suffering. They are at peace, and that is what I told my Lewis. I will NEVER stop missing him.
My deepest sympathy to you!
Posted on 07/20/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Claudia-MD (Guest Post)
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From the sheer number of responses, there are a lot of us pet owners out there who have suffered a similar loss. I too had to put my beatiful 10 yr old long haired dachshund, Molly, down in early Jan. and I am still suffering, though my tears are less now. It is especially painful for me in that she was in my arms when she died and I can't get that image out of my mind- or the guilt I feel for having made that decision, though it was probably the right decision. I also have her ashes in a pretty box and keep her pictures around. In Feb I rescued another dog to keep my first rescue (Doodad) company. The Dood was also suffering the loss of Molly and needed the company. I know it's hard to think about a new dog, but I will say that my grief has been helped by having them- it's such a comfort to be able to hug them, cry into their fur......they don't replace her but they have helped me in my recovery. Our thoughts are with you.
Posted on 07/20/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To "Back In Indiana" Thank you so much for your kind words. I, too, say a prayer for whomever is in an ambulance, and Lewis got upset with sirens.
He used to be terrified of storms, but at the last he wasn't, and it wasn't because he couldn't hear. Hi shearing was excellent, as was his mind, heart and eyesight. He nver made a sound the last few weeks of his life. He never lost his appetite. He was a puzzle maintaing that much health. I would advise anyone to check into the Ensure--or generic form--if their dogs have difficulty eating.
Thanks again, and all the best to you, and I have decided I can't endure a loss of a dog again.
Posted on 07/19/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Becki in Indiana (Logansport) (Guest Post)
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I know just what you mean about the constant reminders! Nikki would always howl -- just a very very quiet, whisper-howl -- whenever she heard sirens. It always sounded like she was expressing her sympathy for whoever was in need of the ambulance. I still think of her whenever I hear sirens in the distance -- so I send up a quick mental prayer for the family and for the emergency response people, in Nikki's memory. And of course there are places that she loved to visit, that are hard to go to without her .....
All I can say is that, although it doesn't really get EASIER, it will gradually not be as overwhelming. Dogs love us unconditionally -- I think that's part of why the pain is so great when they are gone. And I am absolutely certain that they will be there to greet us in heaven -- as my husband said, if there aren't any dogs there, it isn't really heaven, is it?
Hang in there, Hon. Don't be embarrassed or apologetic as you work your way through the grieving process. Lewis will always be with you, in your heart and in your memories.
Posted on 07/19/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To Becki In Indiana,
What a lovely story of Nikki. Lewis did have a wonderful loving home, BUT I wanted to be perfect, and of course, that can't be done. I am beating myself up over every little tiny mistake. He knew I loved him so much!!! I am still grieving, and after all, he was such a very big part of my life, and I was the one who did most of his care.
I am glad that you gave Nikki a good home, and hopefully, they will meet us when we leave this world. That would certainly be "heavenly" wouldn't it?
I am glad you were wise enough to know how to help your husband with his grief. It is going to take me a very long time to get better. It sees as if EVERYWHERE I go there is something to remind me of my darling dog, Lewis. I wanted to keep taking walks, but he was supposed to be by my side, and I cry the entire time, I cry when I shop,because , I always bought him something special, and I broke down in a store Sunday,and had to explain to an employee why I was crying. I wasn't loud about it, but I couldn't hold back the tears--- She was very understanding and an animal lover too, and gave me a hug. Thank God for all the pet parents who love their "children".
I hope your day is going well, and thanks for your response!
Posted on 07/18/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Becki in Indiana (Guest Post)
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When we had to have our beloved dog Nikki put to sleep (she was 12 and had a cancerous growth that kept returning, which would choke her), I thought my tough-guy husband would die of a broken heart. The one thing that seemed to help was when I pointed out that he had rescued Nikki from the pound at age 1-1/2 .... that if he hadn't rescued her, she could very well have been euthanized due to shelter overcrowding the very next day. I pointed out "YOU gave her over 10 years of a loving home, plenty to eat, fun games of catch and frisbee, and more loving than some humans get in a lifetime -- focus on that." That has now been more than 10 years ago and he has told me several times that my comment was the only thing that helped. You had Lewis for a LONG LONG time -- and he was a happy member of your family. He was a very lucky dog to have been able to share your love ....
I found a picture frame for my husband in which I put a photo of him with Nikki. The saying on the frame is "Old friends never leave us -- they just run ahead to wait in a happier place."
You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted on 07/18/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was make the decision to euthanize our "cat kids" when they were 14 and 15. We went through extensive and expensive treatments for cancer in Sabastian our Persian, and diabetes and hyperthyroidism in our Siamese, Vanity. They died within a year of one another and the pain of the lingering illnesses was so hard, not to mention the decision to put them to sleep. It took me three years before I could think about adopting again. We planted a tree where we buried each cat, and little by little I have planted gardens around the trees. We talk fondling of "Sabastian's tree and Vanity's tree and how big they are growing. I have hung bird feeders and put birdbaths under the trees along with plaques that have their names on them. I can even laugh sometimes now, thinking about how Sabastian's tail would twitch if he could see the birds, or how Vanity would just be quivering with excitment at the birds bathing in "her" birdbath. We made the plunge last year and now have two little clowns by the names of Keifer and Tucker. They are so mischievous, sometimes I think I was crazy to get pets again. They are still young and are so full of life, and they make us laugh so much that I am glad that we rescued our new batch of "fur babies".
Posted on 07/15/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
To Everyone--I am pleased, and thankful, for all of your replies, as I am sure you already know, but it doesn't hurt to tell you again.
To "cowpunkgal" and fauxpaslover"--Both of your posts were excellent, and thank you for taking the time to respond. My age--63 years old, and my husband's who just turned 66--is definitely a factor in thinking it is unwise to get another pet. However, I will "borrow" my vet's dogs to spend the night with me. She offered, and I will definitely do that later.
I ,most certainly, will help with other animals, and help give extra walks, and it goes without saying, lots of TLC, to dogs who are missing their owners when they are on vacation. I already donate nice blankets, and different articles, and sometimes money, thought not much, to the animal shelter. I wish I could afford thousands to donate. Prevention of animal cruelty and, naturally, child abuse, is something that is close to my heart. I don't want to forget others, regardless of age, who are suffering from abuse. It is so hard to imagine how people can be so cruel.
In closing I would like to say that everyone's post here is excellent, and thanks, once again!
Posted on 07/15/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I wish I could help lessen your pain. While it's difficult to feel it now, the joy Lewis gave you will eventually surpass your grief & help you heal. While your husband may need more time to bring another loving dog into your life, maybe volunteering at a local animal shelter will help you. Whether it's spending time with dogs who miss having their person, being there for someone who has to help their own dog cross Rainbow Bridge, or helping at events where dogs are present, you're strength could help comfort others.....when you're ready. Take care, Amy
Posted on 07/15/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Nothing is left to be said, everyone has said it all and beautifully...I only have one thing to add, our dog is almost 13 and we will face this sorrow soon enough...our problem is that we are of an age where we truly should not get another pet...and I wonder how hard that is going to be. Could this be maybe the way your husband feels? and why?
Good luck working through your grief, it is old, but true, time heals.
Posted on 07/15/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Dear Alleen, I am sorry to hear of the death of your pet. The grief process is different for everyone. Take as much time as you need to deal with this. A new pet will never replace Lewis but will find a new place in your heart and in your life. Take Care.
Dear Valery, is your guilt related to having your dog put to sleep or not telling anybody about it? What you did was the best for your pet, it takes a very brave and selfless person to make that choice. I wonder if telling your children about it now would relieve you of some of the guilt?
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Please accept my deepest sympathy! I had to put down my beloved 15 1/2 year old dog six months after my husband died. I am finally to the point of thinking about getting a puppy. It's taken a long time. God Bless You!
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Looking at the picture of Lewis reminds me so much of my dog Samantha. Sammie was almost 14 when I had to put her to sleep 3 years ago. I know it was the right thing to do. They count on us to take care of them all their lives and they give us unconditional love in return. The best gift we can give them is a peaceful end when life is too painful for them. She too was a big loveable dog, a friend to everyone. I had her through many changes in my life, a divorce, a move, and she put up with it all without a complaint. We got a chow/lab mix from the shelter a month after she died. Sammie will never be replaced, but it really helps to give a homeless dog a home and all that love you used to give to Lewis. Tell your husband I said so!
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
THANK YOU THRIFTYFUN(4286) FOR POSTING THE RAINBOW BRIDGE SITE
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By IMAQT1962 (Guest Post)
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WE LOST A DOG 9 YEARS AGO DUE TO CANCER(WE HAD TO OUT HER DOWN)AND I WAS SO DEVASTATED
IN FACT SO MUCH THAT THEY ALL GOT ME A CARD AT WORK FOR THE LOSS OF MY LOVED ONE.EVENTUALLY WE GOT ANOTHER DOG BUT WE STILL MISS THE ONE WE HAD TO PUT TO SLEEP
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Be kind to yourself, take what you need for you to grieve, it is an individual process. Know you gave him a great home, and that you have many wonderfull memories of time together. Loss is always painfull and hard.
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Kentucky-lass (Guest Post)
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Hello Everyone,
I wanted to thank each one of you individually, but time does not permit me to do so at this time.
I read EVERY response, and (often) tears come to my eyes, for each of you, and of course for myself, for losing my dear little boy, Lewis.
I feel the ache every day. To the woman who didn't tell the kids about putting their animal to sleep,... I think you did the right thing, if they are too young to understand. Yes, I can't help it, even though I knew it was best for my Lewis, I feel guilt. However, I also felt guilty watching him trying to maintain his dignity, because he was such a strong dog. I want another dog, but can't stand the thoughts of enduring this intense grief again. My Lewis was jealous of other dogs. He wanted our undivided attention, but he loved every person that came to the house. I have one sister-in-law who doesn't like animals. Needless to say, I am not around her very much.
I love reading all the posts, and feel as if we have so much in common.
Blessing to all of you!
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Sent in by Email:
I'd like to advise Alleen to visit http://www.rainbowbridge.org
She can register free on the site and create a memorial for Lewis there.
That is the only thing that helped me, and I am hoping it will ease a
small part of her pain.
Thank you for anything you can do to send this info along to Alleen.
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
My heart cries for you. Having recently suffered the loss of four of my beloved pets, the last just weeks ago, I can relate that the only cure for the grief is to allow yourself plenty of time to go through the process. Sometimes it can take years to work through it and even then a tear will come whenever you think of them but I replace that tear with some memory I have of them that was especially special. When I lost my cat of 16 years to cancer 4 years ago I put off getting another until this year. It has not made my grief less because Ibenez can never be replaced nor my German Shepard and two Borzoi that I lost. We just carry on. My new cat has brought laughter into my life again though. She came to me at 5 years of age having been raised with a Jack Russell Terrier and she has no idea she's a cat and behaves like a dog, defying my remaining three Borzoi to DARE to mess with her. They all keep their distance :-) even though they all weigh in at near 100 lbs.
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my first dog down, she was 13. I didn't tell anyone, just couldn't let her suffer anymore. I held her when she passed. I still feel guilt and it's been 18 years. I finally just got another dog. My kids still don't know I had her put to sleep. I know I did the right thing. She was ill and suffering. Read 'Rainbow Bridge' it's wonderful.
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
We had to put our littel gal Heidi to sleep a couple years back. We buried her at home and have planted flowers there year after year. We talk abotu her, find stuffed animals that look like her, and hope to have another dog someday soon.
Aren't there some fantastic loving memories from our little buddies?
Bec
Posted on 07/14/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I have lost several pets in my lifetime and it just doesn't get any easier. You have a right to feel sad and don't think it's abnormal to grieve. It's very natural and healing, in fact. When Maxxine, my sweet dog of 14 years had to be put to sleep I thought I would never be the same. I made a little "altar" of sorts in her honor, where I hung wind chimes, had candles and her photo and ashes. I told her spirit that whenever i would ring the windchimes, she would know I was there. As weird as it sounds, ringing the chimes became a daily comforting activity for me. Maxxine came to me many times in dreams and somehow in those dreams she could talk. She told me she was okay and that she had to go. That was also comforting. Many years have past now since we lost her. I have healed to a point of being thankful that she was a part of my life. I moved the windchimes outdoors and actually got a few more. It still comforts me on breezy evenings to hear them ring and know that her spirit is near.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Love Lynns solution. I have had two dogs over the years, cremated and still with me. Look forward to adopting another from the shelter. Hopefully, the needs of two creatures will be fulfilled.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
oh i had to have my best friend put down 4 yrs ago. Glory was wonderful. not only was she my dog but my companion. i have gotten another dog named Ally. i love her to bits. she is more like a daughter. Glory was like a respectable woman. yes i still miss her but Ally came into my life and i wouldnt trade her for anything. i encourage you to talk about it, even to your vet. maybe volunteering at the vets or at a shelter. but yes i got ally about 4 weeks after glory died. blessings on you sandy
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
WE HAD A WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER FOR 14 YEARS. I GOT HER WHEN MY LAST DAUGHTER WENT TO COLLEGE, SO SHE WAS MY LITTLE GIRL. LOVED HER SO MUCH, BUT WHEN SHE WAS 14 SHE HAD TO BE PUT TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF HEALTH PROBLEMS. WE TOOK LOTS OF PICTURES OF HER BEFORE WE PUT HER TO SLEEP. I MADE LARGE PICTURE FRAME OF MY DOG IN DIFFERENT EXPRESSIONS AND HAVE IT ON MY WALL TO REMIND ME OF ALL THE COMPANY AND LOVE SHE GAVE TO US. ALSO, HAVE SOME STUFF WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER STUFF DOGS. SO I SEE HER IN MY HOUSE ALOT. I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT A JOY SHE WAS. LOVED HER SO MUCH!
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
The only thing that helped me find any comfort was to get another pet. I felt that my deceased pet would have been pleased to know that I had helped another pet. God bless.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I also lost my beloved pet. Sheba had been with me for 12 years, she had consoled me when my daughter left home, when I had bad days at work, and was always there for me. She was a toy poodle, and had gotten a little roly poly. She had a heart murmur and finally her age and weight got to her. It was so hard for me when she passed, a good friend of mine came over and buried her for me. My daughter and grandchildren were visiting me and we had a little funeral for her.
I found help at petloss.com. There they have the Rainbow Bridge story and they have a ceremony I think once a week where they welcome the pets that have come. You can post a remembrance for your pet.
I knew I would get another dog, but I wasn't sure just when. About 6 weeks later, my friend called me that he knew of a bichon frise puppy that I could get. I really didn't have the money, but he brought her over for me to look at and that was all it took.
My little Buffy has been with me now for a little over 2 years and she has brought so much happiness and laughter back into my heart.
I will never forget Sheba, she was my best friend for so long, and I know that I was blessed to have had her with me for so long. And now I am blessed with my new dog.
Go ahead and grieve, we who are also pet lovers understand. But remember, that there are lots of abandoned animals just waiting for you to give them a chance to love you. Your heart will let you know when you are ready to have another pet.
God be with you.
Peggy
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Pet lovers are special people! I loved this and hope you will too.
The Rescuers Final Reward
Unlike most days at the Rainbow Bridge, this day dawned cold and
gray. All the recent arrivals at the Bridge did not know what to think, as they had never seen such a day. But the animals who had been waiting longer for their beloved people to accompany them across the Bridge knew what was happening, and they began to gather at the pathway leading to the Bridge.
Soon an elderly dog came into view, head hung low and tail dragging.
He approached slowly, and though he showed no sign of injury or illness, he was in great emotional pain. Unlike the animals gathered along the pathway, he had not been restored to youth and vigor upon arriving at the Bridge. He felt out of place, and wanted only to cross over and find happiness.
But as he approached the Bridge, his way was barred by an angel, who
apologized and explained that the tired and broken-spirited old dog could not cross over. Only those animals accompanied by their people were allowed to cross the Bridge. Having nobody, and with nowhere else to turn, the dog trudged into the field in front of the Bridge. There he found others like himself, elderly or infirm, sad and discouraged. Unlike the other animals waiting to cross the Bridge, these animals were not running or playing. They simply were lying in the grass, staring forlornly at the pathway across the Rainbow Bridge. The old dog took his place among them, watching the pathway and waiting. yet not knowing for what he was waiting.
One of the newer dogs at the Bridge asked a cat who had been there
longer to explain what was happening. The cat replied, "Those poor animals were abandoned, turned away, or left at rescue places, but never found a home on earth. They all passed on with only the love of a rescuer to comfort them. Because they had no people to love them, they have nobody to escort them across the Rainbow Bridge."
The dog asked the cat, "So what will happen to those animals?"
Before the cat could answer, the clouds began to part and the cold turned to bright sunshine. The cat replied, "Watch, and you will see." In the distance was a single person, and as he approached the Bridge the old, infirm and sad animals in the field were bathed in a golden light. They were at once made young and healthy, and stood to see what their fate would be. The animals who had previously gathered at the pathway bowed their heads as the person approached. At each bowed head, the person offered a scratch or hug.
One by one, the now youthful and healthy animals from the field fell
into line behind the person. Together, they walked across the Rainbow Bridge to a future of happiness and unquestioned love. The dog asked the cat, "What just happened?"
The cat responded, "That was a rescuer. The animals gathered along the pathway bowing in respect were those who had found their forever homes because of rescuers. They will cross over when their people arrive at the Bridge. The arrival here of a rescuer is a great and solemn event, and as a tribute they are permitted to perform one final act of rescue. They are allowed to escort all those poor animals they couldn't place on earth across the Rainbow Bridge."
The dog thought for a moment, then said, "I like rescuers." The cat
smiled and replied, "So does heaven, my friend. So does heaven.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Dear Alleen, my heart goes out to you so much. I've had to have 3 dogs put to sleep over the course of my adult years and I know how hard it is. After we had to have the last of the three, whom we'd had for 14 years, put to sleep my husband was like yours: adamant about not wanting another dog. If you're sure that he would grow to love another dog after all if you got one anyway, you might try what I did to change my husband's mind: I went out and got myself a stuffed dog--didn't buy a cheap one either, got a real nice plush one--and kept it on our bed or had it sitting next to me on the couch when we watched TV. When my husband said "What the heck's that?", I sweetly said "Oh, I know you don't want another dog and that's fine; but I just missing having one so much so I got this stuffed one. I'll be just fine with this; don't worry about me." He didn't say anything then, but a few days later, he said "Let's get another dog", which we did and whom he now adores.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I had to have my cat Muffin put to sleep 6 years ago this month and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. He was 20 years old and I got him when he was a month old. You will always remember your baby. Muffin had been very sick before he died and like you he was always by our side and slept with us. Believe it or not, the grief goes away and you remember the wonderful times. It does get easier as time goes by, just remind yourself of what a wonderful life that you gave him and how much you loved each other. I did get 3 cats about a month after he died and they have given me much joy and love for these past 6 years. You can never replace your baby and you don't want to do that, but you can love another one and give either him or her a wonderful life. My prayers are with you.
Posted on 07/13/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
Thank you ALL for sharing your stories, and helping me cope with my grief. Now, I offer all of you my deepest sympathy. I cried when I read the stories, and please read the one about Whisper. It reminded me of what I did with my Lewis.
We made sure in his last weeks that someone was always with him. I bought him doggie mother's milk substitute, and gave him special things that he would eat. He loved nutritional supplements like Ensure, thank God. His tumors were becoming enlarged. The vet had said they were fatty tumors, but I know they were starting to hurt him. He would wake up all through the night, and we treated him like a baby. Oh, my heart will never stop aching for this precious dog.
Someone, my husband, my son, or myself always slept by his side. He is buried in our back yard--we live in the country with 2 acres. I think there is a need for a pet cemetery. There is one about 30 miles from here, but I wanted him close to us. When you lose a loved one, human, there are rituals to help you cope, and there is not much help with losing our animal children. Only other animal lovers can understand. It was so kind of the vet to say I could keep her dog overnight. I will do that when I get some chores done that have been put off too long---because I spent my time with my baby dog, caring for him.
I said I couldn't go with him on that dreadful day he was euthanised, but did, and the last words he heard were from me saying, "I love you so much Lewis", and when the vet said "He's Gone" I lost control and ran to the car sobbing. My husband went with me, and when I saw the vet and her assistant carrying him out in his favorite blanket, I thought I would grieve myself to death instantly.
He was so intelligent, and loved people. His mind was so alert, and his hearing was excellent to the last day. He even ate right before we took him for that procedure. When I look at my SUV I think it looks like a hearse now, and I start crying again. I would like to sell it, but can't now.
Another good site for all who are grieving is in-memory-of-pets.com. There you can write your precious pets a letter, and it does help with the grief.
I appreciate every one of you, and will remember you all in my thoughts and prayers, and please do the same for me. Thanks, and God Bless you all!
Posted on 07/12/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Paula in ga. (Guest Post)
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If your heart is ready for another dog, it is the best thing to have new life to help you cope with your loss. You might have to be a little more convincing to your hubby!
A new puppy won't have expensive vet bills other than his shots to start out with.
I got a puppy pretty soon after my old dog passed and it helped me heal so much. I encourage you to talk to hubby and let him know it is important to you and that it will help in your healing.
Good luck...
Posted on 07/11/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
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By Paula in ga. (Guest Post)
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http://www.whisperintheheart.com/with/
This helped me so much with the passing of my dog of 14 years. Hope this helps!
Posted on 07/11/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I lost my dog of over 15 years, Bucky, not too long ago. I, too know that there will never be another. And I have had trouble making an attachment to any other pets.
Perhaps you could make a remembrance book of your pet. Also, I find that just talking about Bucky and remembering the good times helps.
My condolences on your loss. I hope that time will help heal your sadness. Sincerely, AnnMel
Posted on 07/11/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
RE: Dealing With The Grief After Losing a Pet
I lost my dog whom I had for 15 1/2 years last august . I did not want to let him go either I have 2 other dogs when I lost him I was not going to get another dog after I lost him then I came across a female runt dog who only weighed 4.3 lbs. she is mixed with rotty and chow. My boy who I lost was mixed with chow and shepherd. He was the best, I had him cremated and put into an urn and I have him on my mantle.and his picture above his urn and in front. My dogs name was bear. He got real sick he had a large tumor at his back legs and he could no longer walk. Having him cremated and put in the urn and brought home helped alot. I am sorry for your loss dogs are the best. cindy
Posted on 07/10/2006 | Report Spam or Abuse
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