I wet the bed until I was twelve, and my older sister until she was almost sixteen. My three younger sisters wet the bed up until around age ten; my brother until about age six. Both of our parents were late bedwetters as well.
All of us were healthy, and the cause for the bedwetting was never determined. My mother did not shame us, though sometimes we could see and feel her frustration and despair (it was a LOT of bedwetters wetting at the same time--for years!)
How is your daughter doing now? It is five years since you have posted about her problem. I hope you made amends with her. Mothers can do so much permanent damage to their children and to their relationship with them if they don't have the important things in mature perceptive.
My 10 year old daughter has wet the bed for years. Nothing is medically wrong. I have found this is common, so she wears Goodnights to bed, but in the AM she'll lay in bed, wide awake and wet her pull-up until it runs out onto the bed. I ask her "why", she says she doesn't know why. I have, in the past, been very patient and understanding, but today I lost it. I made her wear the nasty wet pull-up around the house for punishment. What is up with this? Is it a fetish? Is she mentally ill? I have lost my mind. I told her if she does it again she will have to wear it to school and I will tell all her friends. The parent in me knows this is not the right approach, but I am at the end of the road here. What else is there to try?
Nina from Las Vegas
Around the age of 8 I started having problems with "leaking" and not being able to control it. My parents took me to doctor after doctor for a couple of years who told them that it was all mental and that there was nothing physically wrong with me. I suffered humiliation at the hands of both my parents who believed the doctors and my siblings, who teased me about it.
I believed what they said too and it caused me years of pain and did significant damage to my self-image. As an adult, I finally got the courage to mention this problem to my gynecologist who ran some tests and found that my bladder was severely prolapsed. One quick surgery later and I no longer have the problem.
Please continue to seek solutions, both medically and psychologically for your daughter. (I like the ideas posted about the alarm and her having to change her own sheets.) I'm sure she wouldn't be doing this if there weren't a reason and you can help her to figure it out. Best wishes to you and your daughter. (09/07/2006)
Try offering a reward for a set number of dry nites in a row, maybe using a sticker chart or calendar. Make the reward something she really wants, but doesn't break the bank, like a DVD rental, trip for ice cream, extra one on one time with mom or dad, etc. If she wets the bed, a mild consequence, stated in advance could be a slightly earlier bedtime that night since, "she seems to be too tired to get up to go to the bathroom", she obviously needs more rest. Make the punishment fit the misdeed, logical consequences. But I think giving her this responsibility for changing the bedding, washing the sheets, etc. may make the difference, especially if she gets little attention for it from you. Just restate her responsibility to deal with it from now on. (09/07/2006)
She took me to many doctors and finally learned about it, but was given the choice of having the surgery in the office or hospital. Knowing it would be most painful, but she was so anxious to get it over with, she chose the office without anesthesia and worse yet, never apologizing for all she had put me through all those years.
It took me 49 years to truly forgive her, and it ruined my trust in humans, doctors (he should have insisted on my being admitted into the hospital for pain relief), and later on I still suffered post traumatic syndrome all through my life/marriage, and under certain conditions, to this day, crying at the most inappropriate times. It took counseling to finally help me to discover why/what/when/where/who, etc.
I urge you to please reconsider and make certain of the medical implications. Each of the "reasons" and "guesses" given in this blog was made about my situation. Also, if after this exam, you do "not" find a tumor (which held my ureter open abnormally causing the bladder to empty when I tried to sleep), please consider that there may still be a real medical explanation that has not yet been discovered or diagnosed by anyone other than a very good doctor.
How would you feel if it were you? No one has the slightest clue of how horrible it is to suffer in this way. Give your daughter more of the benefit of the doubt until you have truly exhausted all the possibilities. Then, if you were wrong, hug her in private and tell her simply how sorry you are for not knowing. God bless you both. (09/07/2006)
Can those of you who are dealing with this put it in perspective? You could be dealing with something so much worse. My next door neighbor has a beautiful 18 year old daughter. She was born with cerebral palsy, she functions as an 18 month old and requires constant care, which they lovingly provide. Another acquaintance has a child with cancer and her future looks grim.
I truly don't understand the constant fights over wet sheets and bedding. It is a fact, not a surprise, that you have a bedwetter. It is also a fact that dishes get dirty and have to be washed. It's also a fact that everyone needs clean clothes so the laundry must be done.
It seems obvious to me to just routinely provide the appropriate pants, whether disposable or washable, depending on finances and an appropriate waterproof pad and get on with life. There has to be a way that you don't have to daily strip the bed and wash everything. Stop the shaming and shouting and anger. The "special" sleep underwear is as necessary a part of the family expenditures as is the case of soft drinks, or beer, or carton of cigarettes, or gallons of milk. Provide these kids with the necessary clothing and stop the commentary. Allow them to reclaim their dignity. Provide the things they need and just wait it out, quietly! It will end when it ends, not when you demand it or when you've "had enough". Trust me, there are much more difficult things in life that many people deal with. This too shall pass. Don't handle it in a way that will cause you shame and regret in later years. (10/06/2006)
By Grandma Margie
If you have a child who soaks the bed in the night, just put a rubber sheet on to protect the mattress. Then add another sheet and then another rubber sheet, and finally another sheet on top of that. That way if the child wets the bed, all you have to do is tear the top sheets off and clean it in the morning. You are not making the bed at 2:00 AM.
By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario
Shared on: 07/12/2012
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