I have been with a man for 10 yrs now; we are not married. His 21 yr. old daughter is getting married next July. Do you think it's up to me to have a shower for her? Or for his side of the family to host it?
The mother's side and his side do not mix well. Anyway, even though I am not her mother, she does look at me as her stepmother. So is it up to me? I don't know what the protocol is. Help?
I would let the family host her family one. However, you said the 2 sides of the family don't mix well. After they have her shower, you may also host a 2nd one if they fail to invite the other side of the family, or don't invite her friends.
There is nothing wrong with a bride having more than one shower, however normally you don't invite the same people to each.
I would think that maybe the bridal party or other friends should host the shower in the circumstances. It would be nice of you to offer to host or help, but I don't think you should feel obligated to do so. JMHO.
I would have 2 separate showers. Ask close members of each side to join you in hosting and planning each one.
It is inappropriate for any direct family member of the bride or groom to host a shower. Since you are in relation that way (being the father's girlfriend) it is also inappropriate. It is Emily Posts opinion that direct family members hosting a shower would seem forward in asking for gifts by throwing the shower themselves. Close friends, Aunts, etc. is perfectly acceptable. It can even be hosted at a parents house, as long as the parent is not he host.
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