What can I do when a 20 year old will not move out when ask to do so repeatedly? They are disrespectful, mean, bossy the list goes on. They have a wonderful baby and know we want the the child safe and happy and they effectively use this against us and are making our home life awful.
Ruthie from Oklahoma
The wrong people are miserable. Lose the TVs, computers, "break" the washing machine, empty the pantry and fridge, generally make them wish they were somewhere else. Or give them 24 hrs. notice and change the locks. Or get a granny cottage for the back yard and they can live out there. Or call the cops. I make my semi adult son live in the garage for a full winter. And called the cops. It all depends on how much YOU want them gone.
I do not know if you charge them rent or not, but it is your home and you deserve to be happy in it. If the 20-year-old is your child, remind them that as long as they live in your home, they need to be respectful, since you have provided for them for so long.
As for the baby, no parent would intentionally endanger their child, and as long as the child grows up knowing that they are loved, they will be happy. If the 20-year-old is having trouble holding down a job, and if you have a DHS office or unemployment office nearby, both offer job training and help with finding a job. Also, with the 20 year old, start looking at different apartments online or through the newspaper, and stand firm.
They have a child now, and it is time for them to start acting like a responsible adult. I know it sounds cold and hard hearted, and I don't mean to upset you, but they made a choice, and I have seen too many of my friends go down the same road.
If they need help learning to budget, get estimates from utilities, apartments, and set an "amount" for groceries, and have them "pay" the bills into a savings account for a few months, to get ready for a deposit on their own apartment. Setting aside certain amounts every month will help them realize priorities, and show them that their wants and needs no longer come before their child's. Remind the person that this is something they need to do for their child, and for them self. It will be hard, but it will work out in the end. I wish you luck.
I have dealt with that also. Three or four weeks ago I finally kicked my 19 yr old son out. He thought he had it so bad and we were so mean! He had it made. Like my husband (his step dad) told me 'why WOULD he move out? He has it made here?'. I couldn't take the disrespect and laziness anymore. Of course as with all stories, there is a lot more going on that I will not sit and write. I could write a book about it! Tough Love... that's what they tell me. Well, it's tough on ME too!! But it's best for both of us AND more importantly for his 4 yr old brother. I have another 13 years of school to go through with my youngst and I can't have him adding to the stress. Stay strong parents!
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