Weddings Are Too Expensive for Just One Day

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My fiancee and I had been together for a year when I asked him why he had not proposed. His reply was that, "Weddings are too expensive for just one day". Ahh, true love. Because neither of us came from money, we did not have to worry about the whole thing getting out of hand.

He finally did propose, and the first thing I looked at were rings. I am a simple, rural girl from a rural Nebraska town, so I suggested a cubic zirconium ring set for the engagement and wedding. My ring cost just $35.00, including the cost of shipping. I told him that we could worry about a "real" ring several years down the road as an anniversary present. I get many compliments on my ring, and many people ask if it is real. I tell them the truth, that no it is not real.

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Maybe someday, when he and I are out of our 20's the perfect diamond ring set will come along. But until then, I am happy with the ring I have, as is he, and the fact that it is a great example of how I did not have to "spend so much money for just one day" makes our engagement and wedding planning that much simpler!

By Jenni from Lincoln, NE

October 15, 20080 found this helpful

Good for you, Jenni!

Your ring is important and special because it is a symbol of your eternal love for each other (a never-ending circle) rather than a status symbol based on how much was spent.

Many couples get caught up in all the glamour (and expense!) of that "one big day" and create a lot of pressure for themselves as well as their families, when the focus should be on the MARRIAGE.

The wedding industry works very hard to convince you that you HAVE to have specific things, and that YOUR wedding must compete with or exceed the lavish events of all your friends, and over and over couples buy into that nonsense.

I applaud your decision to keep it simple and wish you a long and joyful life together!

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

Karen is so right. The pressure to impress is over the top! Having to pay for the whole day can take years! Esp if you put "must haves" on a credit card. Keep it simple. People who truly love you will not expect to be treated like royalty at your future expense.

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

Bless both of your hearts! Yes, a ring is special because it professes a commitment of your hearts but I am glad to know that the true commitment between you two is for your love and not for flashy show! You're both on a great and wise start towards a wonderful future together :-)

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

Your rings are real. As far as I would be concerned, they are real, real cubic zirconia. So enjoy your life together, don't sweat the small stuff, remember the important stuff, and be kind to each other.

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

I am shocked that someone would be so rude to ask if it is real. I would ask them "Why would you ask me that?" That may point out to them that the ring is a sign of love and commitment so yes, of course it is real! Best wishes to you!

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

You are young but wise beyond your years. With your attitude towards money, I believe you and your future husband will do just fine. Congratulations to both of you!

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October 15, 20080 found this helpful

Congratulations. You are on the road to happiness and financial security with your common sense. Your love for each other and your partnership in life are more important than material possessions. Circumstances can take possessions away, but nothing can take the memories of your love.

23 years ago, when my husband and I got engaged, we had enough money for a nice ring or a down payment on a house. I really enjoyed living in that house for the first 20 years of our marriage. I now have a wonderful husband, 2 engagement rings and an even nicer home.

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October 16, 20080 found this helpful

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials & on your VERY wise fiscal prudence re the ring.

Do hope you continue with this thinking and do not go into debt for your wedding as you begin your life together (That is why so many young couples cannot afford the house they wish to purchase).

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October 16, 20080 found this helpful

You are wise beyond your years. I love the cubic zirconia idea and did not know they can be bought for as little as $35. I come from a European country where diamonds are not used for engagement rings. We buy gold rings for BOTH men and women to be worn on the left hand for the engagement time and then switched to the right hand at the wedding ceremony.

Here in the USA, wedding bands are worn on the left hand, so I proudly wear my smooth, wide, gold wedding band (no diamond) on the left hand. Best wishes for your wedding.

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October 16, 20080 found this helpful

That people would ask sounds rude - but you should say "Yes, it's real, and from a real treasure of a guy!" It is real, not imaginary and you chose it w/alot of thought, too! Good luck to both of you - from a 20+ couple!

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October 16, 20080 found this helpful

Someone asked a co-worker if her ring was real. Her reply? "It's on my finger, isn't it?"

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October 16, 20080 found this helpful

That's very nice. A lovely story too! It's good that it all hasn't become so commercialized that it causes anxiety & is a chore or burden to "keep up with the Jones". All that worry tends to take the joy out of it sometimes.

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October 20, 20080 found this helpful

That's wonderful that your ring is so beautiful & practical. Many cubic zirconia's rings are prettier than regular diamonds anyways, & I'll take cheaper/prettier over expensive/less pretty anyday.

I'm not a fan of diamonds but love opals, so my fiance proposed with an opal ring that I adore more than anything else he could have got & I'm sure it was only a fraction of the price of a regular wedding set. Plus, our engagement rings are the same ones we'll use for the wedding ceremony, since I don't really understand the need for two rings.

Many happy wishes for your future together.

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October 20, 20080 found this helpful

I am impressed with both of you for being so smart. Too many young couples go into debt on weddings. The ring story was wonderful, it is real as you are now engaged! I only wish more could be like you. Good luck to both of you and may God bless your marriage.

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October 21, 20080 found this helpful

It's wonderful to read about a couple that realizes the point of an engagement/marriage is not all the glitter and gold of that "one day", but sharing your WHOLE life with your best friend. Congratulations to you both on finding a wise partner!

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November 24, 20080 found this helpful

I completely agree! I have told my BF that when it's time to buy me a ring, I also want a CZ. He's on the same page as well. :)

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April 4, 20090 found this helpful

I bought my husband a silver and paua shell ring for $35 on a special vacation, and he obviously loved it more than his platinum wedding band with diamonds. He kept it clean and rarely took it off. We had fond memories of that special time, and that is what's important. Make lots of special memories while you can, and don't fall into the trap of petty arguments. When things get stressful, take off together and make memories.

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April 5, 20090 found this helpful

I remember my mother telling me that during the great depression and also in world war 2 couples used brass curtain rings in the wedding ceremony. I think cubic zirconia rings are beautiful by the way.

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April 5, 20090 found this helpful

I was married a day before I graduated high school (officially, had early grad in Jan 2003).

We just went to the court house, had who we wanted there (exception was his father, but that's another huge story), and we had our son there as well...in my tummy.

Our reception was that Sunday, since we both had to work Saturday, and it was at my cousin's farm a few towns away. My grandparents came from SD, and only our best friend was not officially family.

Total cost, 75$ for marriage certificate. Our wedding gift, and my graduation gift, was our cake that was bi-level, one with the wedding decorations, and one wisecrack about my graduation on the bottom.

We're still married, and we've been together since I was 15, and he was 16, in 2000. Now 3 kids later we're thinking of saving up for a renewal ceremony in a few years.

Good luck!

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April 5, 20090 found this helpful

Dear, dear Jenni! If someone asks you if your ring is real, you should certainly answer "yes." It is real, isn't it? You didn't imagine it or anything, so yes, it's real. It's not anyone's business what it cost. What matters is that you have a wonderful symbol of your love. My late husband gave me a fabulously beautiful tennis bracelet made of Diamonique (QVC). It was an anniversary gift and I was very ill at the time. I fretted that it was, in fact, real diamonds, because he'd been looking them over in his American Express catalog. Imagine my delight when I finally learned (by peeking at the bill) that it wasn't real! He's been gone 8-1/2 years, now, and I cherish that bracelet as if it were from the Taj Mahal.

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April 5, 20090 found this helpful

I can't believe anyone would be rude enough to ask if your ring was "real!" You don't need to honor a such a question response, but the ideas above are great if you feel you must. Choosing a CZ rather than a diamond is plain smart. Save the money and use it for a down payment on a house or something else that's practical. We did not even have a ring when we announced our engagement 26 years ago. The ring tradition is meaningless and you can get engaged and married in any fashion you choose. I'm still happily married, and after seeing the movie "Blood Diamond," I really don't want diamonds at all. People in Africa are dying in the corrupt diamond trade. Check it out if you haven't seen it. I applaud you, and tell the nosy folks to where to stick it!

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April 6, 20090 found this helpful

Hi - nice to see young people with common sense. You should start a blog with your story.

Best wishes and be sure to remember God in your ceremony and your life.

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April 7, 20090 found this helpful

Ahhh wonderful memories, My husband and I were a "hometown" wedding. In our small town we were married for a total of about $1500. That included all the tuxes, dresses food, rental of the school gym (the place to go) and a band, not to mention free beer. I have to admit the band was my husband's cousin so we did get a break. To this day (19 years later) I remember that day as if we spent thousands.

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March 14, 20160 found this helpful

My first engagement ring was set with emeralds in the shape of a flower, that I wore with a wide gold band. Sadly, it was stolen when our house was burglarized. Now, instead of getting an expensive ring to replace it, I've had fun getting big zirconium rings to wear instead, and if they get lost or stolen, who cares? After I saw the latest verson of "The Great Gatsby" with Leonardo DiCaprio, I had to have a copy of Daisy's engagement ring, which I found on-line. Someday, maybe for my 50th anniversary, I'll get a more expensive ring, but for now, I'm having fun with my fake ones. (I'm hoping for a Texas Topaz.)

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