My husband and I married 26 (me) and my husband 33. We saved in a savings account as much as we could while engaged. Then once we were married we put 1/2 the money from our wedding gifts into some place that we could get to easily and 1/2 somewhere that we couldn't access for 5 years. It helped us save enough to put a downpayment on a house later and kept us from blowing through all our money all at once.
The best advice my mom gave me was to have a separate checking account and savings account in your name only for your extra spending money. That way you can save a little, write a check for something that you want and you don't have to answer to your husband for some item that you really wanted and saved for in advance. You need to be able to trust your husband and once you get married, your money is his and his is yours, but a little checking account (with your mad money) saves a lot of arguments in the future and isn't being dishonest, it just helps you keep a little bit of independence.
I wouldn't recommend combining your finances until you are actually married. Once you are married, I would not recommend having separate accounts. My husband and I have had a joint checking and savings account since the week after we married (5 1/2 years ago) and we get along just fine that way. We both know how much money is available and it forces us to communicate. Some people will tell you to keep separate accounts to avoid fighting but I think that's just a band-aid for poor communication. We discuss our financial goals and come to a compromise before moving forward, and we hardly ever fight about money.
I guess I could see saving for the wedding together in a joint account before marriage. We planned our wedding very inexpensively in 6 weeks when my husband's employer decided at the last minute not to extend his work visa, so we didn't have time for to save for the wedding, but it would have been nice.
We started saving a little bit every month right away after we got married, even though we were scraping by as it was. We've continued that habit, and by the time we retire, our current savings will have grown to over $300,000 even if we don't add anything to it. We plan to continue adding to it and have increased the amount we save each month because we've obtained more education and better paying jobs since then.
Just get into the habits of communicating about money, spending less than you earn, and investing in yourselves and you'll be fine.
If you are a Lutheran, you can use Thrivent. And if your not, their agents also can sell other types of investments.
Robin Williams is featured in a funny move called "license to Wed" It is based on modern psychology courses which do contain some valid points about married life. I recommend you watch the movie and then read some college or library books on both child and husband care.
For most of us, money will always be a problem and so the old rule is still the best rule. Absolutely never spend more than you earn. Break this rule at your own peril! P.S. You can have plenty of fun without spending yourself into oblivion.
Signed: Joseph Raglione
Executive director: The World Humanitarian Peace and Ecology Movement.
Congratulations! I just want to say that if you can base everything on only one income, you would be saving your family a lot of headaches. If one loses a job or gets hurt, the other may be able to pick up the slack. Not to sound too negative, but anything can happen in life. Also, if extras are wanted for the family, one can earn some extra money. I've seen too many couples be such slaves to their bills that they don't enjoy their life and family as much. Take care and God bless.
I got married at 27 and had my first child at 29. I have two boys now and we have decided to stop. Children are more expensive than you might expect. If you are planning on three, you will not be working for awhile or you will be spending $1000 or more on childcare in the near future. This is a dent in your income, either way.
If you have disposable income, you should really look into investing in a home. If I were you, I would keep your wedding simple and see if you save as much money as possible for a down payment, even ask for that as a wedding gifts from your parents. You probably don't need a lot of the classic wedding starter stuff as you already have two houses to consolidate.
After that, I would definitely make sure that you both have good life insurance, just in case. There are life insurance plans that also work as retirement savings. You will also want to take advantage of any 401k or other employer matching program that is available.
I would recommend that you both have separate bank accounts for personal spending and a joint account for bills. This keeps everything straight. You can automatically transfer a set amount into each account and also into a savings account.
Many banks and credit unions have financial advisers so that might be a good place to start.
Good luck and congratulations!
Dave Ramsey is the best we have tried. daveramsey.com He has books and I would recommend his seminars. They are right around $100.00 for 13 weeks and you get a kit and can go to them for a refresher for life time. God bless you.
Add your voice to the conversation. Click here to answer this question.