The grandmother of the Groom suggested we send out wedding announcements to very extended family, that we do not intend to invite to the wedding. Is this appropriate? What should they say or look like?
If the Bride is does not want to send them to her family, can the Groom's family send them out? When do you send them, before the wedding or after?
By Lynn from St. Paul, MN
I don't know the proper etiquette for such a thing (this sounds like a Dear Abby question) but I would say that sending an announcement of the marriage out to distant family would be best done after the event as a courtesy gesture and it would not be required of both the bride and groom. Some families are closer knit and try to keep the family tree standing tall with multiple branches. Other families don't even know what forest their tree is in, don't press it.
A friend of mine from college (that I hadn't seen or heard from in years) sent out a card and letter to her family and friends after she got married. It was definitely a form letter with a very generic card but the letter was thought out. It mentioned the wedding in a very third person kind of way just briefly. Then it started a new paragraph talking about the groom; where he worked, his interests,his education and where he grew up.
The next paragraph did the same thing for the bride. The paragraph after that described the wedding in detail with a URL of a place on the internet to see pictures. (I recommend photobucket.com, I don't remember what she used)
The last paragraph mentioned what arrangements they had made for the honeymoon. How long they would be gone and where they could be contacted when they returned. It also mentioned that cards and letters could be sent to the maid of honour during the time of the honeymoon. She would be collecting everything for the bride and groom while they were away.
Since that time I have received a card and letter every year updating me on what the two of them have gone through during the year: missions, a son, new job, new apartment, etc. My friend always writes on a personal note with the form letter she sends to literally everyone she has an address for. She is 800 miles away but I know her and her family better than I know some friends I have locally.
I guess that was more than what you were asking but once you get to writing about something like this you don't realize when to stop. Best of luck with your decision.
A formal wedding announcement looks pretty much like a wedding invitation, and is printed or ordered from the same source. Decades ago we got these from a printer, but maybe people do their own now on the computer. Anyway it is worded almost exactly the same as a wedding invitation, but is sent out after the wedding.
No gifts are required if you receive a wedding announcement; it is supposed to be a courtesy to those who are too far away or infirm or whatever, who you know would not be coming, or if you have a very small wedding, to those you would have invited if you had had an elaborate affair. They should look pretty much like the wedding invitation, but there is no reason the groom's family couldn't send them out and the bride's side not; it would depend on how close the family was, I think.
It would say something like Mr & Mrs John Smith and Mr. and Mrs, Henry Jones are pleased to announce the marriage of their children Marie Anne Smith to Albert Henry Jones on Dec. 13, 2009. The wedding took place at Grace Chapel, New Town, Your State
louel53 is correct: the announcement is mailed after the wedding. I believe it is traditional to mail them the day after the wedding.
My dh and I had a small wedding but knew there would be extended family and friends who'd want to know we had married, so we sent announcements. Because we were older ours was worded like this:
Jane Ann Smith
John William Doe
are pleased to announce their marriage on
November 1, 2000
in Salt Lake City, Utah
We chose an elegant single-panel card from http://www.rexcraft.com/ and it was perfect.
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