My Dad Has Dementia, Inviting People to His Birthday Party

I would like to know if there is anyone out there that could help me with my upcoming celebrations for my dad. First of all, my dad is turning 60 and he has dementia so I do not know what to organize for him. I have invited a high school buddy for him but I am worried that he won't remember him. I need help in what to do and how do I word the invites? His family, brothers and sisters, don't know much about his condition, but i would like to warn them on the invite somehow. My sister said to write "dad doesn't remember much but we do, lets help him celebrate his 60th birthday" but i think this is a bit cruel if my dad was to see one of the invites. Please help.

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Cozikan from Western Australia

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

Hi there, he possibly wont remember him but he might, as long as the people you are inviting realise and wont get upset. Just remember keep it simple and not to noisy. The best thing would be to contact the Alzheimers association for advice.

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June 28, 20060 found this helpful

These people need to know. I would enclose a short handwritten note to the effect that Dad's memory isn't what it used to be, but he still loves a good party, so come and celebrate with us.

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June 28, 20060 found this helpful

I think your party idea is very loving and WONDERFUL! I would suggest that you not warn anyone ahead of time, however. Just being around family and friends will be wonderful, and if he doesn't remember them, they can introduce themselves. They will figure out what is going on soon enough. It's a tough time. We went through it a few years ago. {HUGS}

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June 28, 20060 found this helpful

When my mother was suffering Alzheimers, the nursing home urged us to put together a scrapbook of her family and friends from earlier years. While she wouldn't recognize me much of the time those last several years, she would recognize pictures of me from my childhood. Maybe each attendee, including Dad, could wear a picture of himself/herself from 30 or 40 years ago? Might just trigger Dad's memories of each person. I agree with Jackie that keeping things calm is important. Regarding the invitations, calling would prevent having to put Dad's condition in writing.

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June 28, 20060 found this helpful

Perhaps wording the invites 'lets help dad remember all the loving memories he has brought into our lives' or something like that. Also, keeping it very small, intimate may help, too. He may startle with many people around. Photos are a great way to help remember, let him lead, if he can, in memories, and keep the celebration short. Ask a nursing home staff what they'd suggest, as they work with such patients often, and are loving and careful not to overdo anything...It is nice to see a loving event planned for a parent who may not be able to do much for themselves. Kudos for you.

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July 3, 20060 found this helpful

I have read that music from bygone times can bring the happy memories back. If you can, have some background music playing that was popular in your Dad's younger years.

This sounds like such a loving thing to do for your Dad. I'm sure it will mean a lot to him!

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July 5, 20060 found this helpful

If you are worried he will see the invite( I like how your sister worded it) You can call the people if it is a small group and tell them of your concerns. That way no one will be embarrassed on the special day.

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