I recently submitted a problem with my 4 year old grand daughter. I would like to thank each of you for your response. I can approach the discipline problem on my end, but how do I tell my daughter to discipline her daughter and that she should seek medical help for her.
With this much concern, I suggest immediate family therapy!!! Either you or your daughter should ask the childs pediatricain for a referral!!!
Do not wait for a proper time. Step in before the baby comes and child services removes both kids. This comes down to what is best for the baby. You need to have the talk with you daughter now! The mother needs to understand she could lose custody of both kids if the older one hurts the younger one and they see something should have been long ago. Remember this is only going to get worse when she is jealous of the baby.
Sounds like the child might possibly have a 'medical' or 'mental health' issue. Both are usually quite treatable. See a pediatrician & also get a referral to a child psychiatrist for an evaluation. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed. Do it NOW. She is young enough for such interventions to work in her favor, to assure her the best quality life she can possibly have, for herself & for the family. Think of HER future too.
Praying for this, no doubt you are too. Act now, get your daughter and grandkids some help. You don't mention the dad, we get the idea. Call your county mental health office and there will be financial help.
If your daughter continues to allow her 4 yr old to hit her, and you have spoken to her and she does nothing, she is the one with the BEHAVIOR PROBLEM! Share with her your concerns, also if necessary can you call the pediatrician and while he can not legally tell you anything (confidentiality) he can listen and you can sort of "frontload" him with info and your concerns. If you ever feel the baby is it risk you MUST call the authorities to protect him/her.
When my own daughter had her set of tantrums, I dealt with them right away. I would pick her up, and put her in her room. If she tried to come out, I would "lock" the door. "Just holding it closed". When she would calm down, I would go into her room and explain to her that I did not like her screaming and if she would continue, she would be locked in her room again. I only had to do this a few times, and then she learned.
Children like to push limits, and it is up to the parent to set the limit of how far the child can push. Tantrums are not an acceptable behaviour and if they continue, they can disrupt the whole family.
Hope this helps.
It doesn't sound like a medical problem but bad behavior. The child needs discipline. I have seen many parents today asking the child what to do. The parent is the adult not the child. She needs to learn to behave and the way she will learn is for her adults to teach her.
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