Remembering My Mother at Thanksgiving

I just lost my mom 3 weeks ago. Can someone give me some info on how to make Thanksgiving special in honor of her? This will be a rough time for my family and I would like to make this a memorable one. Thank you.

Dee from Shallotte, NC

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November 20, 20080 found this helpful

How about starting a rememberance tradition? Some families place a setting for the lost loved one in their honor. On top of that, while you go around the table giving thanks, why don't you give memories of your mother instead? Everyone should have at least one that is special to them and be thankful for the memories and the time you had with her. Also, if she had a favorite dish or desert, make it in honor of her. That might be a nice tribute.

My condolences to you and your family.

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November 20, 20080 found this helpful

Hello Dee, This will be our second Thanksgiving without my dad and I know how deep your loss is. While we don't do any THING special, we do honor everything we are becasue of my dad as we celebrate this holiday. We tell stories about special memories and we have many as my dad was a bit grumpy about holidays. He never missed one with us though and I think the sometimes grumpiness was an act. I would take this holiday to give thanks for the special person and family you are because of all that your mom did in your life. Make the special foods that she made or loved to have on the table. Try to leave the stress of the world behind for just one day and celebrate your mom and the legacy she left behind. Keep her memory alive by remembering her each day and keep her memory alive with your children. Our family will keep you in our prayers this holiday. Blessings, Lori

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November 20, 20080 found this helpful

My condolences to you and your family. I too lost my mother three years ago, just before the Holidays.

We have always watched old home videos at our Thanksgiving dinner. Laughter is the best medicine. It usually leads to talking and remembering, and doesn't put anyone on the spot to broach a potentially painful subject.

Last year, my sis' and I doled out her jewelry, and I, as a personal rememberance, will wear mine to family functions, and see her smile in my heart when I look at it.

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November 20, 20080 found this helpful

If each of you siblings have any of her dish ware or nice drinking glasses, have each one bring their food in it to be served. If each of you kept some of her personal items like handkerchiefs etc. bring those to put on a little remembrance table so everyone can see them.

Print out small 2x3 photos of her in different times of her life and place at each setting with your family members name on each. My mom has been passed now for almost 10 yrs now and I miss her so much. Also if you have old Christmas cards from her bring those out, just seeing her hand writing is a blessing and makes you feel like she is still with you. If she had a favorite drink fix it and make a special toast. My mom's was fresh brewed coffee. God Bless you all.

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November 21, 20080 found this helpful

We lost our 19 yr. old nephew last year. At Christmas, we set a place for him at the table. We had his picture sitting there and lit a special candle for him, which we let burn the entire evening. Afterwards, I gave the candle to his parents and they were so touched that we remembered him in our activities. My sympathy goes out to you. God bless.

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November 21, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry for your loss :-(

My dad passed twenty years ago and I still sorely miss him :-(

On Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter I place the last holiday card I gave him (he kept them all) for that particular holiday on my coffee table and watch a different movie that I knew he loved or watch home movies or listen to family audio recordings ... It helps to make it feel as if he's still with me :-)

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November 21, 20080 found this helpful

Sorry for your loss... the holidays are especially painful.

We always light candles in memory of our parents

at the beginning of the meal and then whomever wants too relays a story of their past with our parents - it is surprising how one person can remember things the others cannot - we sometimes find ourselves laughing

at a happening... the grandkids love it - and in the glow of the candles we touch our past while sharing it with the future of our family.

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November 21, 20080 found this helpful

My sincerest sympathy for your loss. My mom died three years ago just before Christmas. I'll know I'll always miss her. I used to always describe my mother to others as "Martha Stewart without the attitude." How she loved to cook and feed her family!

I have found great comfort in preparing one of her recipes whenever I want to feel especially connected to her. As I go through each step, I talk to her as if she were right there watching me. I can almost hear her - "Just a tiny bit more milk. Careful not to overheat the butter. There, that's perfect!"

I started this "cooking therapy" years ago when the first of my dear Aunties passed away. When I arrived home after her funeral, I was very sad. As I was sitting there, thinking over good times I'd had with Auntie, I remembered that I had a copy of her "signature" date and nut bar recipe. I somehow knew that cooking up a batch would make me feel closer to her, and it did!

I miss Mom and the Aunties so much. So when I'm having an especially difficult time I always do feel a special connection by making a dish they enjoyed preparing and, as they would have done, sharing it with those I love.

I don't know if your mom was an avid cook like mine, but even if she wasn't, whatever she loved to do maybe you could do in her honor and with her at the forefront of your thoughts - decorating, story-telling, holiday games, crafts, etc. I promise you'll feel her in spirit right there with you.

Peace to you and your family this holiday season!

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November 22, 20080 found this helpful

Hello Dee i am sorry for your loss. What we did was set a place at the table for just this year. Then buy some clear ornaments and some glitter glue and everyone that comes in the home can decorate one in memory of her. This will be a hard day for everyone so the best thing for you all will be cry a little laugh a little and remember alot. again sorry for your loss.

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November 23, 20080 found this helpful

I am really sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother. You have my sympathy. I know how hard it is to lose a parent and holidays are hardest. Maybe before the dinner you could go around the table and have every tell of a good or funny or happy memory they have of her. That keeps her spirit alive in your hearts and family. Blessings to you.

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November 23, 20080 found this helpful

My mom died on October 26th 1998. That is 6 days before her birthday and 1 day after their anniversary, and of course 1 month from Thanksgiving. i will be praying that you get through this. That is how you do it. Go through not around or over. email me. sandy sheep 1 @yahoo.com with no spaces.

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November 28, 20080 found this helpful

Hi Dee,

I hope yesterday you and your family made it though the Thanksgiving without too much stress.

The seasons will never be the same for you and I understand wanting to start a tradition to remember your Mom. Both of my parents are now gone, my Dad in '93 and my Mom this year. I chose to adopt a child through the Christian Children's Fund in my parents name.

It helps me along with helping a 10 yr. old boy in Uganda.

Blessings

Laurie <><

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December 3, 20080 found this helpful

I know thanks giving has passed but christmas is approaching I lost my mom in july this will be our first holiday season without her. I decided to take the apron she wore during the holidays and make a tree skirt out of it. Old fashioned I know "apron" but she always wore it thanksgiving and christmas. We will now have a piece of memory wrapped at the bottom of our tree which we put up thanksgiving day and that is what I did. simple and meaningful to me without a huge display of emotion from all. A simple way to reflect on the season the apron has alot of memories of family dinners cookie baking and just the care taker she was of our wonderful family.

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