Our daughter's wedding is coming up in 2 weeks. We gave her and her fiance a substantial amount of money to use however they chose on the wedding and reception. We are now considering whether we "should" also give another substantial cash wedding gift, or simply a less expensive, but meaningful gift of some sort. Any suggestions/experiences anyone can share? Also, any ideas about meaningful gifts from parents to the bride and groom that are not too costly?
I guess I would do what you can afford and want to do. My former in-laws gave their oldest daughter $100.00 to apply to a wedding dress being they lived so far apart that the mother of the bride couldn't make it. When I married their son we more or less eloped, everybody knew we were getting married on that date, but we met a pastor in his office and got married. I made my own street length white brocade dress. His parents gave us one $100.00 because that is what they gave his sister. Then when the youngest girl in the family got married she made her own gown and the parents gave them $100.00. That was what we got, other than small gifts at various bridal showers. My folks gave us a calf that when it was ready to be sold we got the money from it. This was back in the sixties and people didn't spend as much on things like weddings, etc.
We gave our son (my step son) a good amount of money too and we didn't give them another wedding gift. The money we gave them was the gift. But of course we gave engagement, shower gifts too. If you wanted to give a token gift what about a beautiful picture frame for one of their wedding photos? If they are religious, maybe a symbol of their faith? We were given several beautiful crosses as wedding gifts and hung them over the beds in our home. Italian tradition for us. Have a lovely time at the wedding!
You are her parents whatever you do is meaningful. Your major gift to them was the money which they chose to spend on the reception. It's okay be happy they used it for something nice:) Now you can get them a gift (if you want), but since you are her parents I would buy the new couple something special so you don't regret it in the future. Maybe a nice dining set or even a large frame with a family picture including the groom is a very nice gift, that can even be hung at the wedding next to the cake. Remember the gift doesn't have to cost a lot of money to be meaningful plus you already gave them cash.
If I were you I would go to snapfish.com make an album and call it "Preparing for the big day" or something like that. Take pictures of him and her when they are least expecting it, when they are busy planning. The photographer is already making one for the wedding, but you can make an album when the lovely couple were planning the happiest day of their life which is way more meaningful. The quality is great and it's extremely nice to show to guests and an A+ on the coffee table. You can pick the color and border and picture format. It's a wonderful website and a great gift for any occasion. The quality is great, too. It comes in the mail. It's more meaningful when the couple aren't posing. This way when they see the pictures they laugh and value them more:)
As you have already been very generous I think that a small, token keepsake gift like the ones mentioned in other posts would be lovely. If you can afford to give even more than you have I think the best thing to do would be to put it in a savings account as rainy day money for the couple. You know they will need it someday. Hope that day is far away.
I'm from the old school; meaning I don't think parents owe their kids large expensive weddings and expensive educations. Helping out is one thing but when my kids wanted something bad enough they found a way to finance it. It may have taken longer to get it but what they learned in the process money can't buy.
Mary Hunt's site:debtproofliving.com has some books that will give them tips on saving money within the household or they also have books to save money and invest. These are great gifts for anyone graduating or getting married since we often don't have much help managing our finances and it is easy to get into debt way beyond what is possible to pay at a young age and on any income. This would be a very valuable gift for years to come. Good luck.
Since you have already helped greatly with funds to help pay for the wedding and reception I personally think all that is really necessary now are huge heartfelt hugs, sweet tears and well wishes on the wedding day and maybe two short handwritten notes from the heart, one for your daughter and one for your son in law, writing shared by both you and your husband and slipped in to their hands when they are leaving the reception for their honeymoon. :-)
The gift of money for the wedding will be a memory and a treasure for this couple; it is an honor to bestow upon a couple the money from their parents to give them a beautiful wedding and along with that comes gratitude and love from the couple which cannot be replaced in a parent's heart. Enjoy the wedding and the elegance of the wedding and the unity of this couple. Give the bride a family cookbook or a collection of family favorites and her husband's family recipes.
I think some family heirloom might be a meaningful gift. Maybe a piece of jewelry for your daughter that belongs to you and that she can pass to her daughter on her wedding day would be most appropriate. If you want to include your son-in-law, then maybe a quilt made by grandma or some family treasure your daughter has always loved would be good.
There are some great ideas here, love the recipe book,and heirloom pictures etc. I remember when one of my siters got married my parents paid for the wedding, because that is "old school" lol. However, my parent gave them my grandmothers China, they were so thrilled! Also it was tradition in my family that each of us girls (there were 5 of us) were given a Hope Chest when we were 9, then gifts for years after that to fill it. When I married in 1984 I had so many wonderful things!
I haven't been to a wedding in several years. Does anyone know what amount that most people give as a monetary gift?
These days you give what each dinner costs per person, ie, $55 a plate, than add some on to that. It also depends on how close you are to the couple getting married. For a couple at $55 a plate you should give $110 to cover the meals and then at least $50 as a gift. I know it sounds like a lot but it's just once. Hopefully. So you give a total of at least $165.
I've read the general rule of thumb is the amount the couple spent on you and your date (i.e. give $100 if the reception is a $50/plate deal)
if the wedding is out of town and you/re not attending how soon should you send a card and monetary gift?
Hi, I would like some ideas of making a "money gift" look stylish and special, any ideas please?
At least $100. I think if you are giving less it shows you don't know how much things really cost these days! Give at least $100. If you are a couple, then I would give $200.+
How do you make out the check that you are giving as a wedding present the day of the wedding? I am a friend of the bride. Do you make it out to Mr. and Mrs. or what?
Editor's Note: I would make it out to John or Mary Smith (whatever their names are), that way the husband can cash it if the wife hasn't changed her name yet.
Like everyone says, It depends on alot of things. Your income, travel distance, the wedding venue, and your status with the nuptuals. I stumbled across this site it calculates the suggest amount you should give for a wedding. Seems pretty acurate.
Oh yeah, here is the link. Don't yell at me if they are wrong....
www.theweddingenvelope.com and www.hmsig.com
It all depends on your financial situation. You can only give what you have and the norm these days don't follow.
Our son and daughter-in-law received an unusual gift -- U S Postal stamps. At first we thought it was a strange gift but then thought about it and it was a good one and we remember it even 15 years later. They didn't have to purchase stamps for thank you notes and had postage for many months. It may seem strange at first but very inventive.
Most reception halls charge between $75-$150 per plate. Coming as a single person I would give $100, as a couple $200.
My daughter is getting married in June and I just returned over $100 worth of items that she got as double presents. Considering that, I recommend giving gift cards or money to the bride and groom. It saves time for them and also they can get whatever they need.
If you don't want to give a gift card or if the couple is registered for gifts at a certain store, always make sure you get a gift receipt to put in w/ your gift. Sometimes they will still get duplicates b/c not everyone will purchase using the registry or that store. Gift receipts don't list the price pd. but if they've listed an item on their registry they know the cost anyway. Also, good for them to have in case there's a problem w/ the item. At least they can exchange it or get a gift card. Stores usually will not allow that anymore w/out a receipt or have a strict limits on the practice.
I'm not in favor of purchasing anything from Target Stores, especially anything which is listed on a bride-to-be's registry. A very good friend of ours was getting married, registered her preferences with Target, and she got many duplicates anyway. When she went to return or exchange them, Target would only give her credit for the amount of the item at that day's prices although the item had been purchased a couple months before at the regular price. Target treated her very badly, and we don't deal with Target at all anymore for that reason.
Since a forum like this seems to be the only place we can alert people to certain store practices, this is the place and the time to do it. We need to let other people know about our experiences so they are not caught in the same perdictament. Perhaps Target will get the message.
All the best to everyone, Julia in Orlando, FL
A friend of mine recently remarried. She and He already had the basics and more. So she said if any money was received it would be used for their honeymoon, which will be later in the year.
A fun way to give money is to decorate a small picture frame and place the check or cash under the glass. Picture frames are always useable as well as money. A double gift.
I agree with Julia about Target. I purchased a Swiffer Wetjet and forgot to use the $5.00 coupon at purchase. I called the store when I got home, and whoever answered the call told me to bring it in the next time I came in. When I took it in, the store refused to honor the coupon (I had the receipt showing the purchase of the item). I was not treated well, and decided that I did not have to spent my money at Target. Walmart is right down the road!!