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My Frugal Life: The Gift Of Time

My 15 year old daughter, Tori died under horrific circumstances 11 years ago on 8/27/98. This was the worst experience that I have ever felt.My Frugal Life

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Friends circled us, send flowers, food and condolences. I know these people were supporting us the best way they knew how.

At the time the flowers were a reminder my daughter was gone, their scent nauseated me. The food was left untouched (but shared with visitors), and the condolences rang as empty words, garbled and nonsensical.

Looking back, I would like to share with you what soothed my soul and helped to get through my shock and pain. My friend came to my house immediately upon receiving "the news". She fielded phone calls and was a stalwart for me.

While my home shrieked in silence, she sat on the couch next to me, stroked my hair, rubbed my back, and listened to my muffled sobs. All this time she barely said a word.

Weeks passed. People were baffled and did not know what to say, they disappeared.

My friend stayed in touch. She stopped by frequently and showed me I was not alone.

Her gift was LOVE. I can never buy or replicate it. It was the gift of time.

Over a decade later, I remember her presence. This was a Priceless Gift, a gift that I am willing to pass on should somebody ever need it.

Chris from Northern, Virginia

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August 14, 20090 found this helpful

I do not have the words to express, except thank you for sharing this with us. I know that you will always love and miss her. Thank goodness that there was someone that had the empathy to understand what you needed. I will remember your words if the time is ever before me and I need to be such a friend.

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August 14, 20090 found this helpful

I am so sorry for your loss. I imagine it never really gets much easier. Thank you so much for sharing your story. No one really knows what to do in a situation like this and hopefully your experience will inspire someone else to give their own "gift of time".

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August 14, 20090 found this helpful

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, despite the grief you will always feel. I often wonder what I can do for a friend should they suffer a loss, and your story is truly appreciated.

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August 15, 20090 found this helpful

I understand your pain. My son was murdered 10/28/1987. He was 3 years old. I felt so alone, I now realize oftentimes that other people are so uncomfortable dealing with this type of situation, (other than the cards and flowers) and they just don't know what to say. Your friend sounds like a very special person.

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August 15, 20090 found this helpful

I understand your pain. My son was murdered 10/28/1987. He was 3 years old. I felt so alone, I now realize oftentimes that other people are so uncomfortable dealing with this type of situation, (other than the cards and flowers) and they just don't know what to say. Your friend sounds like a very special person.

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August 16, 20090 found this helpful

Thanks for sharing.I could write a book on deaths in our family but I have Faith that we all will be together some day in" Heaven"! I will Pray for you! Good luck.

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August 17, 20090 found this helpful

I feel your pain, especially since I have experienced the loss of a child, too. My 15-year-old son died on 5/5/79 in a car wreck - it seems like just yesterday some days! Unlike you, I didn't have a Priceless Angel to sit and comfort me - I had to go into the psychiatric hospital twice before I could recover. I was not able to cry until the month of March 1980! You were so fortunate in having someone who allowed you to cry from the very beginning - thank her for me! God bless you and know that you will see your daughter in heaven some day!

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August 17, 20090 found this helpful

Who have experienced such horrible losses in your lives, I offer my condolences and prayers for your continued healing and peace of mind.

God bless you and bring you comfort in the days that lay ahead. Jovin

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August 17, 20090 found this helpful

I can not imagine having no idea that someone you love could be gone so quickly. Reading your story takes me back to march 1997 when my husband of 39 1/2 years left this life for a better one in heaven. He had suffered from a cancer that now is treatable, but then was only being treated on a "test" basis. My 7 children and their spouses could not understand my not falling apart at the time. I was staying strong for the grandchildren who had loved their papaw. After they all left, having taken the food that I insisted they take, and sharing the plants, and flowers that had been at the funeral, I was by myself, and could sit down and start processing the few days that had just gone by. To my great surprise, November 1999, I met my "new best friend", and now husband of 10 years this Nov. 30th. Your friend has my deepest appreciation. The world needs more friends like that. I trust you are healing as time goes along.

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August 17, 20090 found this helpful

Your story and those in response have touched me deeply. I cannot imagine any loss so terrible as that of your child. May God bless and keep you in his hand. I will pray for you all.

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August 17, 20090 found this helpful

I am deeply sorry for your loss just wanted to add that god can heal all wounds if you let him. He helped me in my own life tragedies, good luck and god bless.

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August 18, 20090 found this helpful

I am so thankful for your beautiful post. Now you have a gift for someone else and I hope all who read your words will take them to heart and be the same sort of friend you had.

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August 29, 20090 found this helpful

Your story is terrible. I am so sad for you. It is very kind of you to explain what helped you. Now we can use that information to try and comfort any friend in a similar situation. Thinking of you.

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