Comments to Mothers-To-Be

Yesterday, my dear daughter was in tears to her husband because it was pointed out to her SEVERAL times that she was quite large and only in her eighth month of pregnancy!!

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When commenting on a pregnancy, PLEASE make sure the comments you give are positive, maybe on the beautiful complexion or how well she looks!!

I told her to smile sweetly and say "Thank you very much for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed how big I am till you mentioned it." These kids have had such a hard time carrying a baby to term. PLEASE consider just how your comment might sound before you say it!

I am going over to their house this weekend to help clean the things she can't reach. I don't think I mentioned the beautiful grandson we already have, thanks to them. Maybe an offer of a little help instead of a comment on how huge the pregnant lady is?

By Margie Minard from Mt. Vernon. OH

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

You are so right on with what to suggest your daughter say to such a rude comment! I, too, had a bigger belly than some and I had people say that to me many times beginning at the 4th month mark right up to when I was checking in at the hospital to deliver. I had a similar response (delivered with a little hostility, unfortunately). How lucky for her to have such a blessing inside of her and I hope she is feeling well.

-Teddy's mom (12/26/05 9lbz 15oz)

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

I am so sorry, people are so rude. When I was pregnant with both my kids I got comments all the time. Like, "You look like you are ready to pop" (in my 7th and 8th months also!) I gained 50 pounds both times and lost it all as well. People seem to think that women shouldn't gain a lot of weight during pregnancy and that is sad. Tell your daughter to carry her belly proudly just as I did! I had my daughter when I was 19 and my son when I was 23, and I got the rudest looks from people of all ages! I waited to hold the door open for an elderly lady at the mall one day and she went out of her way to go to the next set of doors right next to me! I felt horrible and cried on my way home! People are so insensitive, good luck to your daughter and the blessing that is inside her!

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

Back when I was pregnant, I carried my baby low and straight out. I gained over 50 lbs and was constantly being checked for twins. I had waited over 10 years trying to get pregnant and had a difficult pregnancy. I worked at a busy office with a constant flux of people and I heard those same remarks every hour of every day. Most pregnant women are extremely sensitive and the remarks simply do not help. I truly don't believe most people mean to be rude, they think it's funny or don't think at all. If you daughter is old enough to be pregnant, she's old enough to learn to ignore the insensitive remarks of others. Tell her to keep her eye on the prize--a healthy baby. Your daughter is very lucky to have you helping her, but remember, you cannot protect her forever. She will grow with each experience she faces in life, pleasant or not. And unfortunately, we seem to learn the most from the unpleasant ones. I took the remarks as a life lesson on how to treat others. I believe part of a quote is, "It is the wise person who learns from the mistakes of others." There is no need for her to be rude right back; two wrongs do not make a right.

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

The comments your daughter is receiving would be truly welcomed by the thousands of women, such as myself, who have been struggling with infertility for years. With infertility so prevelant now, there are so many of us who have been trying to conceive our FIRST (you mentioned that your daughter had problems carrying a baby to term and that she already has one child) for 5+ years.

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

What goes around comes around. Your daughter will know what not to say to others, and to those who make comments their time will come. There is always someone nicer and someone more rude than them. Best wishes on a happy, healthy baby. I had people harass me for being a "teenage mother" at a grocery store when I had my son at 25! The people were absolutely cruel, made snide comments about supporting another baby, yet they didn't know how to respond when I turned and said "Yep, you will be supporting another baby but not mine, Oh and by the way I own my house not the bank. Do you?" Talk about studder and turn red. I wish I wasn't so rude but I believe treat others how you wish to be treated... But now its: Thank you for the compliment. I love being carded at 33 and asked if my ID is real!

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June 27, 20060 found this helpful

I was big with both of mine for being small frame, and my first one was with Gestational Diabetes (but I was larger with the second!) She needs to remember all the babies that are born so small, that they need incubators, and thank God and the Blessed Mother for protecting her and the baby! And since it is summer, let that tummy stick out, it helps keep her cool! And don't be ashamed of those stretch marks, you earned those stripes!

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July 1, 20060 found this helpful

Its one thing for stranger to stare or make (stupid) comments. But when its your own husband?!?! Thats pretty sad. Of all people, HE should be the one who is looking after the mother of his children. And if that were MY husband I would " hey I'll lose mine after I give birth. whats YOUR excuse!" I too got the same looks and comments while pregnant with my son at 24. I looked much younger. but I have always been very outspoken and would make a comment back or shoot them quite a dirty look as well. The while pregnant with my daughter I had alot of complications and blew up with fluid. I looked like I was having triplets! Again I had the looks and comments. I ended up giving birth 3 months early. So people should definitly give respect to excpecting moms.. you NEVER know what they are going through.

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