Saying "No" to Someone Who Asked You Out

A guy that I am not interested in asked me out. I know I could just say "no" but he's already going through a lot of bullying. How can I say "no" without hurting his feeling too much?

By June

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January 6, 20100 found this helpful

There are several options but they involve stretching the truth. LOL You could say that you really value his friendship and wouldn't want to jeopardize it in the event things didn't work out between you two.

You could tell him that you are trying to get over a recent breakup (avoiding a rebound situation).

You could also say that you're grounded/restricted from dating for a while (This is a good one if you are a minor).

Hope this helps.

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January 6, 20100 found this helpful

I don't understand the comment that he is going through a lot of bullying. But you can never have too many friends.

Tell him that you would be happy to go out with him as a friend if he would like to. Make sure you add on that last part, it will make him feel better with his decision and it gives him the opportunity to say no. If he says that is fine go ahead and go somewhere with him and have a good time.

Maybe you could talk to him about things he could do to be more popular with "the girls". Be a friend, if you are concerned with not hurting his feelings you are halfway to being a friend anyway.

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January 6, 20100 found this helpful

You could always just tell the truth. How about saying "Thank you for the offer. I'm very flattered but I'm going to have to decline." It would be very unkind to lie and give him false hope if you know that you're never going to change your mind. As far as having a reason, you don't have to give a reason. Male or female-everyone has the right to say "no" without having to explain themselves.

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January 6, 20100 found this helpful

Be honest. If you are not interested say so in a kind way and do it privately, not where he will be embarrased by others hearing. Do not lie or "stretch the truth". People aren't stupid, he will know if you are lying and lose respect for you.

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January 7, 20100 found this helpful

A guy who uses bullying to try and have his way is not my choice to go out with or become friends. Decline privately with consideration of his feelings being injured and if he pushes for a reason, tell him his aggressiveness makes you feel uneasy. Maybe he will learn about himself and change for the better the next time he invites a girl on a date.

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January 7, 20100 found this helpful

Is he being bullied or is he bullying you? If he's bullying you, he doesn't care about your feelings. If he's being bullied, I see your point about his feelings.

You don't say how old you are. If you are relatively young 13-15, use your parents as an excuse, and don't flaunt any socializing you do with anyone else.

If you are 16-18, you might want to talk to your Dad or a family male member that has good sense, and "gets" people's feelings, for advice on what to say.

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January 9, 20100 found this helpful

Tell him yes but lets go with a group of friends if you are 16 or older.If younger say parents want let you go out yet. If you go out as a group maybe the others will get to know him and that will help him you will be helping him to get to know more people and them to know the real him. Who knows maybe he will find someone in that group that likes him and he likes her.

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January 9, 20100 found this helpful

Say no. Do not soften the blow by spending any time with him or suggesting you go out as friends or in a group. This sounds cold but you will encourage him and he will persist. I assume he is being bullied at school. As far as that is concerned, you might suggest he seek help from the school councelors but so not attempt to councel him yourself. It is hard to say no but much harder to shake someone who becomes completely infatuated with you. This is not the last time something like this will happen so learn now how to say no. That means phone conversations to lessen the blow also. That will only encourage him. This way is better for him in the long run.

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January 9, 20100 found this helpful

Just say you really appreciate the offer, but no thank you. If he's an adult and he's being bullied, he's got more problems than you need. If he's a child or teen, he needs to talk to a school counselor or his church pastor, etc. Don't start something you don't intend to finish. It wastes your time and his.

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January 10, 20100 found this helpful

I would say that first you would need to really examine the reason you want to respond no. You mentioned that he is being bullied from others-is that a factor in why you are responding no? I responded no the first time my husband asked me out. LOL. Sure am glad I gave a second look under all that hair and beard. Sometimes it is so much easier to say no, than it is to say yes. We all miss out on so much in life because no just seems to pop out so much quicker than yes.

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