Asking for a Cash Gift for Combined Birthday Party?

I have five children, and this year we would like to consolidate all of their birthdays into one big summer celebration. Two of my kiddos are right before and right after Christmas. They never get a birthday party because people are so busy with their hectic holiday schedules.


So this year, we think this will work best, without leaving anyone out. However, I am aware it will cost a ton for people to buy 5 different gifts for 5 different kids. I'd like to make it clear that no one is obligated to buy anything for the kids, however if they choose to that I'd rather they donate money so that we can buy them a nice swingset. How would I word something like this, and is it appropriate?
Thanks in advance :)

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June 17, 20150 found this helpful

My son's birthday is the day before Christmas so we chose to celebrate his birthday in late November with no problem.

Frankly, I think your money idea is crass unless you are certain you have very nice and understanding relatives and friends.

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June 17, 20150 found this helpful

I don't think this is a good idea.

The point of birthdays, for kids, is that it's all about the birthday child. That child is the star of the day. Making their birthday just another summer party is a let-down.


Besides the fact that the kids won't get to attend their siblings parties.
Birthdays are something kids really look forward to. A friend or sibling's birthday can really brighten up an otherwise dull week.

I can see why you'd be annoyed at having to keep hosting parties for five kids. But you kind of signed up for that. I feel sad that you can't seem to find time to create a separate party for the child whose birthday falls near Christmas. They need to feel special, too.

Parties don't need to be longer than two hours, and all you really need is cake, ice cream and some games. You can make it clear that you don't expect any extravagant gifts. Put some of the new things away for the child to play with later.

If you still want that swing set, collect all the kids' cash gifts for a year, including Christmas, and buy it next spring.

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June 18, 20150 found this helpful

Hmmm....a little creative thinking on your part there.
We have a few family members who will host parties for two birthday kids together...four would really be pushing your creativity to still make each child special and not confuse everyone.


I would still hold it closer to all of their birthdays or it may be too disconnected to have them all in summer as well!

At a December party, on invitations you might want to say that individual gifts are not necessary but if the attendee WOULD LIKE to donate to their "Saving for A Swingset Fund", they are invited to join you all next summer to enjoy it with them...although this is a little too tricky for anything I'd try!

The only way I might even try a summer party for them in lieu of at their actual birthdays is to be a HALFWAY Party... g months or 1/2 way to their birthdays (you might explain- due to weather constraints at that time of year). I know my winter birthday daughter always had to contend with cancellations due to bad weather and it was very frustrating when she was little. Of course I don't know if you live in an area that might have that problem that I did.


Why not have a big yard or garage sale with proceeds for the kid's swing set and invite those same people to it to raise money for their swingset?
Good Luck!

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June 19, 20150 found this helpful

I never had a problem with my Christmas baby having a birthday party. School was always closed the week between Christmas and New Years so all the kids were available to come. Gifts from neighbor kids were always small games, a t-shirt or hat, etc. and lots of the fun was opening those gifts. I would never ask for $ to buy a swing set. The gifts are for the birthday child. If you can't afford to buy a swing set, take the kids to the park.

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June 19, 20150 found this helpful

Our youngest daughter was born on Christmas Day. When she was a child, we tried celebrating it early and it didn't work. Even now, we have to do it on Christmas Day for her to feel like it's her birthday.


Actually she gets more attention for her birthday than my other 2 children. I think it's great to be able to celebrate your birthday with Jesus.

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July 4, 20150 found this helpful

I think the success of this will depend on what your children want and who you are inviting. I can see that this would work as a fancy celebration if you planned it something like a summer "fair" -- having a clown or a magician entertain, having someone doing some facepainting, maybe renting a bouncy castle (depending on your financial situation). I'm not suggesting all these things; I'm suggesting that something extra special should be in the works since this is one great big party. If your children are excited about this, and understand that this is in lieu of individual parties, than I think you should go for it. It doesn't stop you from having cake and ice cream on the kid's birthday with one or two special friends or with the grandparents.


If your birthday parties are more family affairs with lots of adults and little cousins, I think this is also very doable. In that case, I don't think it would be crass at all to mention to your relatives that you would like to buy a swing set for the kids with "birthday money". Perhaps one of your close relatives like an aunty or grandpa would take this over and organize it, as that would be better than you saying "give money". Although when my son was 13, and saving up to attend an expensive snowboard camp, he phoned his grandmas and told them what he was saving for and requested all gifts that year be cash toward camp rather than some other gift. The grandmothers were relieved, and spread the word to aunties and uncles; they thought it was much simpler to give cash rather than try to figure out what the kid wanted.

If you are thinking of this as a party more for a crowd of neighbourhood kids rather than as a lot of family, the whole idea of money instead of a gift is a little trickier. I'm not sure how I would handle that.

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January 3, 20190 found this helpful

Wow, Nikki.C, I am dumbfounded by the amount of judgmental people responding to your request for help on wording around the donation towards a swing set IF the people would like to do so. I know you also added 'is it appropriate?'. I don't think anyone really did answer you at all, other than saying that THEY can give their kids birthday parties around Christmas so why can't you. I think your idea is great. There is absolutely nothing wrong with combining them, nor requesting a donation for a swing set in lieu of 5 gifts.(I think that's pretty awesome thinking) I for one would choke on my coffee if I received an invite for 5 kids, but would breathe easy after seeing that. You asked for advise on how to word it, not for judgement on your decisions as a Mother. I applaud you for thinking of a Win/Win situation. ... and apologize for not giving you any help on the wording either. lol

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