My daughter asked if she could have a boyfriend today. It worried me that she will start things early. She is 13 and I'm not sure if she's ready. Any opinions?
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I think 13 is too young. I think she can have a boyfriend when she grows up. When she goes out with her boyfriend then she can not concentrate on her studies. People have a long life. So she can have a boyfriend when she is older. Then rest of her life is effective and happy.
It depends who you are I am 13 and I have a boyfriend I also know my limits I think at my age dating someone w
Is like having a really close guy friend
I am 13 and I have had a small relationship kind of thing with a guy and soon after realized that not only was I a little young but there were so many little things that were stopping me since I was in a relationship. I'm not sure if its the same at every school but my school dating isn't much, only holding hands and going to the mall or movies maybe. Hope this helped!
13 sure is young, but it doesn't means bad . When you get into a relationship with some kind of "good kids" you called, they will actually affect you too, let say that the boy/girl has very good grades, while you are just kinda of in the middle, your gf/bf will affect you to study with them , because while your gf/bf has a really good grades, and your kids just want to have the same grade to be in the same class as them or to get in a same school so that they could talk more and have more in common and understand each other with no problems .
That seems like an awful way to look at it! I studied better with my boyfriend when I was 13 I could relax around him and as he was very smart he often times helped me 13 seems reasonable so long as he is vetted and some ground rules are in place
Ok so everyone thinks 13 is too young i think people need to stop thinking of 13 year olds as little babies they are old enough to make most decisions they have to learn for themselves they NEED to experiment. If the parents go setting down commands/rules without consulting their child about it the child is more likely to close up and not talk to the parents.
I think you should let you're 13 year old to have a boyfriend because they should have more than friends and it's good to have a young relationship.
the most they'll do is make out. i wouldn't worry if i were you
Im close to 13 and get very irrattaded when parents treat us like kids. If you know your kid and know they wont do anything early then whats the prolbem.
Thats not true
I have a boyfriend and Im a 13 year old girl
i feel like you guys as parents dont trust us enough to have a boyfriend or to make a decission. i had a boyfriend and i was still focus on school . And trust me your daughter dont want to start things early she just want to experience what its like to have a boyfriend. if your woried your daughter might have sex which is going to happen anyway, at least teach her about being protected and dont try to keep her away from boys.
And then one day he decides that he doesn't want a g/f anymore but then you find out he just wanted a different g/f.
Your grades are dropping, you have the same classes as he does because you were copying his homework and what you thought you understood you don't understand anymore than you understand "relationships" at 13. Don't be needy and dependent on other people.
You sound like a 13yo, not a parent.
Nice effort though.
And no, parents don't have consultations with kids about rules. That's for the adults. But no worries, kids will be made aware of these.
Like we always do.
(And BTW, yes, painfully obvious)
it depends, if your child is serious and still care for school. They wont doing anything but hug each other. Is that so bad, she can get ready for the real world . It depends on the 13 year old personality .
it depends, if your child is serious and still care for school. They wont doing anything but hug each other. Is that so bad, she can get ready for the real world . It depends on the 13 year old personality .
I was 10 wen I had !! But thinking back I would say that was too young!! Id say Jr Highe ..
I think 13 is okay to have a boyfriend but not going on a date
No!
That is bs because you need to explore and if you fall get right back up but you have to make sure shes ready
I believe that 13 is not too young, as long as your child is responsible, and knows what to do, as well as what not to do.
As a little girl of 13 my mother use to encourage me to wait till at least 16 before i can have a boyfriend cause i am still immature to be in a relationship
wow, my daughter just asks me the same thing,, I don't want her with a boyfriend at all. told my daughter she can't have one until 16
you guys aren't thinking about how the 13 year old feels. I'm 13 and I have a girlfriend and before I had her I was very depressed and lonely. So before telling them "no you can't be in a relationship" think about how they will feel if they weren't and how it might make them feel.
I have a cousin and her name is destiny and yes she is 13
ME Too
to be honest i dont think thats fair. what if you have a great relationship with your bf?
13 year olds are teens - and they can fall in love, or have a 'crush' on someone. Of course adolescence is a complicated period, but stopping them from having a relationship with someone isnt the solution. On the contrary, allowing the child to date and having a talk about all that is much more beneficial. As a 13 year old myself, I can day that stopping me from doing something will make me want to break the rules more than if my parents talk it through with me. Also, dating doesnt mean school failure. Going out all the time with your biyfriend is too much, but sometimes will surely not affect the studies. Honestly, teens have a mind, too. Trust them more!
Definitely untrue. Some 13 year olds are more mature than their age! It depends on trust.
That sounds good I guess lol
As a thirteen year old, you are not giving us enough credit. We have judgment and know not to take things too far. It really depends on the kid and how much you trust them!
I think no age is sutaible or appropriate because its up to you if want to date then date
What if they don't want to really date them they just want to like be recognized as their boyfriend at like school and while texting?
As I am 13, I am probably the most mature 13 year old you could find, by our parents not trusting us to be responsible, kinda hurts :/ I know to not do stupid things. Its not like I was born yesterday...
I completely agree! As a thirteen year old myself we completely understand that taking things too far shouldnt happen until an appropriate age and people need to give us some credit. We know that school is still important and shouldnt distract ourselves from our studies too much. Having a boyfriend means that when we have nothing to do we dont isolate ourselves and we talk to real people we care about and we do that same for them. Its normal to worry at first but you have to cut us some slack! We are growing up and we need to have that bit of freedom in our lives thats not being controlled by our parents
I was 14 when I had my 1st boyfriend.
We were dropped at the movie theater and picked up there. Then he and his parents took me home. If a school dance the same thing. I had 10 minutes a night to talk to him. Back then I lived in the country.5 miles from town, and we had a 4 home party line for our phone .
I am now 70 and I thought it was great.
Jo-Ann
Thank you
Really the only thing we would do is maybe kiss but that is it we are much more mature than you think:)
let's say I have
Your right Im a 13 year old to and its our life and we know what not to do
i agree SO much! i feel like we should have the option. We are teens now and obviously are not adults yet but we are not going to take it to far. we should have a say.
Well I'm 13, and to be honest I don't want a boyfriend because I want to focus on studying. But I go to a girls school and lots of my friends there are getting really depressed about not hanging out with boys. I think I myself, am quite mature, but it really depends on how mature you think your daughter is. Obviously though it won't be a proper exclusive relationship, but I think girls my age just want a guy to talk to and chat with. Hope this helped! Gabby x
I am 13 and I recently got a boyfriend. I know how far to take having a boyfriend so if you can trust your kids judgment then it should be fine. I am 13 and I belive it is good to know what it is like to date. The 13 y/o doesnt need to go on dates without supervision you could take them to the mall and just keep a little eye on them. If your child thinks he/she is ready to get in the dating world then you should allow them to start making there own choices. (sorry if this is too long and if u disagree thats fine but this is my view as a 13 y/o myself)
I honestly think if your 13 and want a boyfriend its alright because its not the same as when you 16 or 17. They wont be kissing or hanging out constantly. I think 13 year olds just want a person they can trust/ rely on because at their age, they have self conciseness, dont like anyone, (puberty hits and emotions come) etc. And to have someone who actually likes you (other then family, thats different) for who you are/ thinks your nice, pretty etc.and Makes you feel good about yourself. Again, thats just my opinion but it really depends on the kid and if you can trust them or not.
I am a 13 year old. I am mature for my age but I am a kid sometimes. I have dated. And did I rush into it? Yes. But. The more you let your daughter grow up at the right pace for her, and the more experience she gets is the more she will learn. Now of course you never want her heart to break, but it will happen because that's unfortunately what happens in life. So personally, from experience? She has to do this on her own. Learn from her experiences. WITH your supervision. I'd say let her date and see where it goes. If you see she starts to get a bit too irresponsible with it, stop her from dating until she brings it up again, and talk to her. I haven't had a boyfriend in a while cause I realize that girls do mature faster than boys. And considering I am mature for my age its a bit more difficult. But. It does depend. If you don't let your daughter at least TRY dating? She will think the same thing most girls do.... That you don't trust her. And no matter how many times you say its not about that? It still won't leave her head. Trust me. I know from experience. Now I am looking for a boyfriend but I'm still waiting cause I don't want to rush. I really hope this helps, and i hope you found what you were looking for.
My advice-
Get over your trust issues. It really has very little to do with that.
Don't believe that someone won't do something terrible to you if they have the opportunity because they will.
Theory proven every single day, around the clock. Do you really want some examples?
Sorry for the bad news but it's the world we live in.
Your parents know what's best for you. You don't. And that's the bottom line.
Plus. Your gf/bf could inspire your kid to do better. Like if they do a sport or workout it could inspire your kid to stay healthy, or like getting good grades. An ESPECIALLY if your daughter is having personal mental issues. I know I have mental problems but meaning terrible anxiety and periodic and minor depression. Because its hard growing up as a girl. Your daughter probably is not telling you everything, and a boyfriend let's her feel like she can say anything to him whether she loves him or just likes him. I get it adults today have experience in when they were kids.... But times have changed and boyfriends help more than you think. THIS I know from experience. Hope this also helps lol,
As a teenager myself, i believe that you should know your child well enough to know if she's ready. also, we are smart enough to know when we're ready ourselves. while mistakes happen we also learn from dating mishaps and this helps up grow stronger and more mature as adults. let her date.
I can say as a teen myself that having a boyfriend at my age might be good or bad, depending on the kid. I would consider myself responsible enough and I believe life is short, so I will get a boyfriend when I find the right person. This is just for a different perspective. But again, it depends on the responsibility of the kid.
honestly, life is short. people telling teenagers to wait until they're older to date often end up in abusive and unhappy marriages because they didn't date until their 20s and had no experience so rushed to settle down even if it wasn't what was best for them.
It depends on what boyfriend means. I can remember having a boyfriend at 13 or 14. We didnt go anywhere together. We just talked on the phone and at school. We even went steady. I am now 68. I started dating at 15, which for me was too early. I was supposed to double date, but didnt.
Depends on how you trust your child and knowing ur child not because of their age
I dont think 13 is too young, my daughter is 13 and has a boyfriend it was taught her alot she still focuses on school my daughter is a straight a student as long as her boyfriend is respectful and they know theyre limits and complete theyre responsabilities i think its completely fine
Im a 13 and personally I think it should
be fine. Now, it should only be fine if kids have the proper knowledge. I know that I shouldnt go and be nasty with a guy I just started dating, and I know what taking it to far is. But if a child starts to date when they are younger, it makes the idea of a relationship less weird or awkward and makes it into a better experience further on.
I am 13 and i have a boyfriend and i love him and i am very mature
Yes, she's really young. But in my opinion, age doesn't really define whether she's allowed or not. It is about maturity and wisdom. She should take everything seriously. I suggest that u can ask her if she is very sure to this and I'm pretty sure that you know your daughter well. Is she matured enough to handle dating?
As a 13 year old girl, I know first hand that plenty of girls and boys in my grade are in relationships. These relationships dont really last that long, and they are never more serious than texting or sitting by each other on the school bus. I think having a boyfriend at 13 is ok if you know your boundaries, and well educated on what to look out for and possible red flags. But if youre going to be dating outside of school or a controlled environment, I think it is not suitable unless you really know you can trust the boy and your daughter, and they are not far from home. I think it is extremely important to be trusting of your child, let them be independent and grow up, but set boundaries.
Honestly i read all the comments and I must say: when you have a boufriend at that age it doesnt mean sex! It means hanging around, spending time together, exploring feelings, maybe a shy first kiss... Parents are very worried about theur children dating, but really sex is a desire that teens that age dont even put a name to, or feel!
And I know that, im 13.
You guys are all talking about 'having a boyfriend' as if a boyfriend was an object. Honestly i think parents take us for immature kids, while we have a conscience. Really, i would never imagine having sex with my boyfriend and im 13! But let us experience the joys of being in love and not restrain us by being scared of things we dont even plan on doing!
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