My boyfriend kinda started staying here 24/7 a year ago, for the first 14 months he didn't help pay for anything. Then, of course, me being a single mom of 2 couldn't afford to feed 4 of us so I had to use credit cards to be able to make it. Needless to say, I'm now in credit card trouble. He decided on his own he was going to make $300 a month payments to the card and so would I. He also paid $300 a month toward groceries and other bills. His cell is in my name so it's $100 which I been paying for so technically $200 towards groceries and bills.
This lasted 2 months then he got angry and started questioning me to where "his" money is going. I told him $300 to the card $100 to your phone and that leaves $200 for food and bills. He eats more than $200 a month. He yelled at me that he didn't eat $200 a month in food so now we are back to me paying for everything. I don't know what to do, I work 3 jobs to be able to do what I gotta do and I feel used that I have absolutely no time for anything but work, make dinner, clean, and sleep. He works full time and he pays for his car, car insurance, and that's it. He wants to save his money for hobbies and spend it on hobbies for himself while I slave. I don't know, maybe this is the way it's supposed to be?
By sweetsammy
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I know the feeling, had the same thing happen to me. The only difference is the house I live in is paid for so he looked at it like free rent. Since the women gets the groceries they get out of paying for them, but are there to eat. I didn't have him on my cell plan, thank goodness.
What you can do is this, take your rent, utilities, food, and ect and divide it by how many people are in the house and that is what he will pay. The cell phone thing, I know you can do this, you transfer his service in his name then you aren't responsible for it anymore. If he doesn't agree, then you tell him, he needs to get his own place. It doesn't really matter, since you are paying for everything anyway.
If he doesn't figure out it is cheaper to live with you, then you don't need him! If he doesn't care enough about you to help you, then he doesn't really love you. A relationship is give and take, not all take. Men will treat you how you let them. He does this because he knows you won't do anything. Quit letting him use you, you have children to take care of, he is not your child!
It's time to kick him out. You've been supporting him long enough. It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Never be willing to let a guy live with you, or anybody else for that matter without having them pay half of everything and do half the chores.
Guy sounds like a selfish leech. I just dealt with a selfish woman that I gave everything to help. Ever heard of a con? Well I think this guys is playing you because you are a compassionate person.
What a great deal for this "man". I wish I could live somewhere for free and be taken care of. You and your children are being taken advantage of by this creep. Do you expect him to change into a kind, reasonable man? He won't. He has no respect for you, your kids, or your life together. He needs to move home to Mommy and you need to find a man. Make a list of the pros and cons of this man living with you. What does he contribute? What kind of example are you giving to your kids? Are you waiting to be more and more in debt?
First off I don't think the guys a creep
There must be something going on between them for him to just stop paying becuz he was giving her money right so I'm sure the guys not a creep n I'm sure u don't have to kick him out u need to sit down with him n talk about it and tell him if he's going to be living with u n the kids that he needs to help pay if not and he doesn't agree then I guess u know what u need to do u need to let him go n find a real man but I think he's a alright guy he was giving u money so so something we all don't know about must of happened for him to not want to help pay anymore
You don't know what to do? What should have been done ages ago-kick him to the curb. He is using you, my dear!
Girlfriend if you have to ask the question you know the answer. No one can live anywhere for 300.00 a month including cell phone. He is using you get out and get away it will only get worse!
Kick him out! Do you have brothers, a father, uncles, or a few older male friends? Get them to help you kick him out, because it doesn't sound like you can do it alone. He needs to know he can't just yell at you and you will put up with him. You are in an abusive relationship! Get help and get rid of him!
You say you have 2 children. You can't be spending much time with them if you work 3 jobs! They have to be your first priority. He is not - please do the right thing - ask yourself, what is he bringing to my life? Am I better off? If you have to answer NO, then move him out, and get your head and your life together.
Your children need you and you need to have some respect for yourself. He will survive, trust me - he will find someone else to use. Please, please, treat yourself with respect and become the Mom you were meant to be. The right man will come to your life, when it is supposed to happen. Think about this, and do what is right for you.
The male you just described (note I did not say "man") is apparently an old teenager. The time has passed for him to spend all his money on a car, hobbies, and fun once he is adult enough to move out on his own. Unfortunately, as long as you are his mommy replacement, he is going to let you continue to do everything.
He knew daggone well where the money he gave you was going, and if he couldn't figure it out all he had to do was look at receipts and bills, no need to pick an argument. He only picked an argument to try to turn everything around on you, and to justify to himself why he wasn't going to share any expenses with you any more.
The real reason he stopped sharing expenses is because he now misses his teenage lifestyle; he wants to have mama taking care of him and his needs while he goes out and has fun. He is acting like a child. And no, that's not the way it is supposed to be, in this century when two adults cohabit in any way, be it marriage or simply living together, they have to pay to play. No free rides, everything is too costly for that. It would be different if one partner was wealthy and told the other at the start that they didn't have to contribute, but it is obvious to me, as well as it is to your boyfriend, that you are not wealthy, since you are working multiple jobs and asking for money to make ends meet.
He needs to go-back to his mama, on his own, or to find another mama replacement, but you most certainly do not need him in your life, whether you love him or not. Sometimes you just have to let someone go to preserve yourself. I wish you luck, and the strength to move on! <3
This man is a bum; kick him out, cancel his phone, and move on. He is not worth your time; and likely you will have to cut your losses. You have learned (I hope) a hard lesson as you have been supporting him, running up debt, and wearing yourself out and getting nothing in return.
Maybe you think you love him, or that he loves you, but if he did love you, he would treat you better, respect you, and not be such a leech. You will be much better off without him financially, and likely emotionally as well, after a short mourning period. I'll bet your kids will be happier as well. Besides, this is something that you must do for them, as well as for yourself. You must show them that women will not stand to be treated like a slave and a doormat.
Kick the bum out. If you need help with that, find family, friends, or social agencies or the police to assist. Likely you will be able to do it on your own; start by cancelling his cell phone service. Don't chicken out on this. Divest yourself of this fellow; do not accept any offers to change. It won't happen.
Ok you stated he 'kinda' started staying with you, is he actually living with you? 24/7 would indicate not kinda he actually is. Not sure if he is the father to either of your children, but if he is then he should be financially helping you with the care of the child and household.
He doesn't sound like he is mature enough to understand the importance of things. Buying things he just wants or collects is not being responsible nor showing he cares anything about you or your children. He is just using you, a place to crash and whatever else your supplying him with.."to stop the addict you must stop supplying to the addiction".
Once he is out contact friends/family with things you may need help with, such as the children, etc. Start cutting coupons to save that extra money to catch up on bills. And if need be move to a house or apartment that is cheaper. Don't ruin your life, children's life and credit due to someone else. Especially if they could careless about you and your children. They always come first. Never a man.
kick him out and get a female roommate or something smaller you can afford yourself.
It is time for you to let that mooch go. ASAP. My God you have children that will NEVER have anything nice with that man around. You can do way better than that
Get him out
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