I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I have two boys that live with us and he has a daughter that stays 3 days out of the week. 6 months ago he quit a well paying job because he said he wanted to see his daughter more and go to school. Well he never went to school and now he works 30 hours a week at a minimum wage job. His child support was never lowered (and won't be ) because he quit. So more than half of his income goes to child support.
By dm
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What you should do is take your boys and move out, if it is his place to begin with, if it was your place to begin with get an eviction order to get him out. He is a grown man and shouldn't have quit his job, to spend more time with his daughter.
I agree with redhatterb! Your "boyfriend" is definitely taking you for a ride. He is using you for his room and board, car and much more! You could set a formal meeting with him, set out all your financial and other grievances and tell him he must immediately form a plan to to pay for his financial responsibilities.
However, from your description, it appears he has no interest in changing his current beneficial arrangement. If so, you must immediately remove yourself and your daughters from this very unhealthy situation.
After I posted my reply last night, I got to thinking I should have added this to it. I am 74 and have learned a lot over the years. Now, whenever I hear a woman/girl talk about getting into a move in type relationship, I advise them to either keep a separate checking account, credit card, and/or cash someplace where the significant other can't get their hands on it, in case the woman/girl has to get out in a hurry.
Excellent advice from redhatterb!
Listen to redhatterb. She is wise.
Leave him. He is free loading off of you. I am old fashioned--never move in with a man unless you are married. This is not only your life, but also the lives of the children. Its a poor example for those children. If he won't support his family, he has serious issues.
In reality we can all say to leave him because we are on the outside and can objectively see what is happening, but only from the info you have given. You are obviously bothered by your situation. You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him it needs to change. Give him a timeframe in which you will stop paying his car payment and insurance. Tell him you can't afford to feed his child, so he will need to buy her food and supply her needs. This will force him to get a better paying job or he may chose to break it off. But don't support habits you are against, put the ball in his court. Good luck.
Get out NOW! And before getting into another relationship in which you are used, get some counseling to find out why you chose this and why you have continued to stay in such an abusive, unfair living arrangement. Otherwise, you could end up in the same type of one-sided relationship again.
P.S. Sounds like this arrangement may have been planned ahead of time on his part since he purchased his car shortly before voluntarily quitting his job.
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