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My wedding date is July 16, 2009. My fiance asked me to marry him about a month ago. Everything is going well, but I do not know how to let my family know. They do not like him. What should I do?
I think if it were me I'd go alone to my family and tell them. If they have really negative things to say at least he won't hear it and then be stuck trying to forget.
They need to understand that you've thought this out (you HAVE thought it out haven't you?) and this is what you want and you would like them to be happy for you but in the end this is your decision and your life. My ex-mother-in-law so disliked me she wouldn't even go to the wedding. She changed her mind THE NEXT WEEK!! but it was too late for me to have the wedding of my dreams. Things like that aren't forgotten.
If I were you I'd just make sure they KNOW you intend to go through with this with or without their blessing but it will make life better if they approve.
You probably already know why they don't like him...can any of that be changed?
I'm wondering lots of reasons as to why your parents dislike him? You never mention your age, if your very young just past 18 yrs maybe that's why? Is it that maybe they feel you two have not know each other long enough? Some parents will never want there kids gone & grown on there own. Maybe that's your situation yet really search your heart as to why you think they dis like him and even talk to them alone and ask them why they feel this way and after doing so if you know you path is meant to marry now I would do so as the other post suggest and tell them without him being there as to not hurt him.
If he is truly good to you and you know he will be there to count on for life then they will have to except it. Many people think marriage is an easily thing to get out of with signing of papers if it does not work but its ups and downs and you should search your heart to know you both will be there for each other during the downs when they come around. Now is the time to make sure you know each other well before you go the long road. I have been married for 32 yrs and while I would not change a thing because it was the downs in our life together that has got us through. So good luck and just follow your heart and the Lord will do the rest.
You should take a good look at why your family doesn't like him. Do they have valid reasons? If they do, don't jump blindly into something you will regret. If you have always been close with your family and they have always had your back, talk to them about their issues with an open mind.
I wish my family had let me know they didn't like my fiance BEFORE I married him. Sometimes people not emotionally involved can see things that you can't. Just consider what they have to say without the emotion on their part or yours.
I have to agree with the others. Parents are the ones looking out for the children, once grown it isn't easy to stop. BUT, they have experience. I would suggest asking your parents why they dislike your boyfriend. the answer may surprise you. Just don't be so quick to defend him, that you miss the real reason for their concern. THEY love you for life! If the boyfriend in question tries to seperate you FROM your family & Friends, you need to run as fast as you can TOWARDS them. Thats a sure sign of controling behavior and it will only get worse. Just don't rush into anything.
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Monica from Kalgoorlie, Australia
You should definitely tell both sets of parents first. After all, you both wouldn't be here without them.
After the groom speaks to your parents about his intentions, invite both sets of parents to one of your homes or a restaurant to announce your engagement and show off the ring. This can be breakfast or dinner or a Bar-B-Q as long as everyone is invited. This is also a good time to announce the wedding date if one has been set. Do not wear the ring in public until this has been done.
Next tell grandparents and siblings. It is appropriate for the bride's and groom's families to have a get-together to announce the engagement and to introduce the new son-in-law or daughter-in-law to-be to family and friends. If this is not feasible, the bride's parents should announce the engagement and wedding date in the local newspaper. (02/21/2008)
You say "partner", so I assume there is no traditional male and female in the relationship (forgive me if I'm incorrect). My partner and I told the most accepting parents first, then worked our way up to the more traditional parents who were more opposed to the idea. (09/04/2008)