Here are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community.
I am my father's POA, he has been drinking to 300+ blood alcohol levels and as he begins to sober he starts again. Can I commit him?
By JM from Des Moines, IA
That sounds a little harsh to just commit him. Could you not try to get him to an AA meeting or talk about rehabilitation first? If you love your father I am sure you wouldn't want him going into an institution where it might be too traumatic for him to cope with. He may deteriorate very quickly if you just abandon him like that.
Think about different options first. Seek advise from AA. There is a specific community set up to help loved ones of alcoholics.
Emotions and familial duty aside, your father is continuing to drink and is a hazard to himself and all other people if he drives, uses kitchen and other appliances, etc., while intoxicated. I suggest you immediately discuss the possible legal ramifications of commiting or not commiting him as you are the POA.
No you cannot. Power Of Attorney, either for financial or health care, means that you can make decisions in the event your father cannot. It is not up to you to decide that he cannot. Only a court can do that as you are not yet his guardian. Call the probate court where your father lives and inquire about obtaining guardianship. His physician will have to fill out a bucket of paperwork, a court social worker usually must meet your father, and then a judge or magistrate will hold a hearing.
In most states, your father must be notified and has the right to attend and speak for himself. The judge will try to determine if he is a danger to himself or others, but even that 'danger to self' thing is tricky as the law gives folks the right to live as we choose. Usually this probate court process is not very expensive and any doc who has older patients has seen this kind of thing before. Good luck to you! (PS I am an eldercare social worker in Ohio.)
Is there supervision of the person to whom I give a POA to transfer my money, which is in the bank, to me? So he might not keep the money himself?
By M H.
Everyone should be very, very careful who they give a POA to as once it is done, it is very difficult to "undo".
There is more than one "type" of POA and is best handled through an attorney. Even giving a full control POA to one of your children may not always be a good idea.
A POA (just has to be notarized) that gives full power does not have anyone to oversee what they do with your money, property, even your own personal things can be in jeopardy. So - please - use only an attorney that has to be notified when the POA is used. A POA can be a dangerous thing - or - a good thing so be very careful.
It is according to the type of POA you signed. IF it IS a regular POA you may have prob.'s with it being accepted if selling a house/property trans. from banks, etc. They will NOT accept a regular POA! If you have a durable POA you have complete control.
Do not give anyone a durable durable POA! If the person decides to cancel their POA of any kind, they can do so by signing papers @ the courthouse to cancel the POA & the person you gave the POA to, can no longer do anything in your name!
I certainly agree with Maw-Maw about not giving a durable power of attorney to just anyone but sometimes it becomes necessary - but - as I said it should be done through an attorney who will have final say. The POA would have the attorney's name AND (not or) another person approved by the one giving the POA.
That way any time anyone tries to use the POA, at least that would give some security with a second person approving what is trying to be done. This is not difficult but it will cost money each time the attorney has to review the POA. This can get expensive so it is best to not give a durable POA and leave all requests in a properly executed will or trust.
But - you can give a standard or durable POA with an ending date - even for just a day - so sometimes this may be the way to go.
A durable Power of Attorney can be revoked by filing with the court but few people go to the trouble to do this. Some people even forget that they gave a POA years in the past - but - without an ending date, the POA is good until that persons death.
Anyone senior dealing with a POA should try to have legal assistance even if it only with a senor citizens association. If the person is unable to visit their office, they will send someone to their house - at least they do in my area (Florida).
What do I do to make sure I'm the person over my mom's disability check? My granny was the person who was over it, but she died. But my mom's family is trying to take it and she wants me over it as I am her daughter. The family said I can't do it because I'm a felon.
Please help.
My fiancé is in prison for 8 more years; he wants to marry me and he has a trust fund from his deceased father. He has not signed any papers with the trust/probate attorney because of his incarceration.
What rights would I have if I am his fiance or if I marry him? He wants to release the POA into my hands instead of leaving in his brother's hands. Do I have any rights?In regard to being a power of attorney (PoA), how far back do you have to keep documentation for accounting purposes?
I have been PoA for my mother since 2004 and had to place her in a nursing home due to her dementia 13 months ago. She is now 90 and has enough assets to pay for her care with her private funds for at least a few more years. Because of the the 5-year Medicaid look-back period, I have been discarding all records that go beyond 5 years, and have been doing so on a monthly basis.
For example, this month (July 2016) I discarded all records dated June, 2011. Do I need to hold onto everything, no matter how old it is, just in case of an audit (for example, at the request of my siblings) or is 5 years of record keeping sufficient?I have a medical and legal power of attorney for my brother. He has been in and out of the hospital. We learned yesterday that his roommate now owns his home. My brother thought he was making a change to his will a year ago. Now he found out he titled the deed to his roommate.
The lawyer involved did not know my brother had a will. His roommate did. It only gave a percentage to the roommate upon his death. Is there anything I can do to help him get his house back in his name? I was not informed of all this when it happened.My father had a stroke in November of 2015. Since then my brother, who lives in the same state, Florida (I reside in N.C.) has taken a ton of the responsibility for everything concerning Dad.
I have not been sent any papers to sign or seen any legal documents, but my brother states that we are both the POA and executor of Dad's estate. The bulk of it is in an annuity. Not that I don't trust my brother, but he and his wife (whom I don't trust) have taken out 20,000 dollars already from Dad's account to help with Dad.
This I didn't question and in fact felt he deserved something. My brother states that I can not be sent any money till 60 months after Dad has been determined ill and that only he can take money from the annuity. Is this true in Florida?
Your brother must be able to support every penny that he has withdrawn from your father's account. I strongly suggest you immediately consult with an attorney in your area experienced in POAs and elder care/abuse. The attorney will be able to address your concerns about your brother and his handling of the estate.
You should expect an emotional response from your brother, however, it is important that your father and his estate are protected.
I have a disabled child that will be 18 soon. He has TBI (traumatic brain injury) and his condition is getting worse as he gets older. He is now 16 years old and all of sudden family members that have not been around are now willing to be helpful with my son and want to be his best buddy. I want to know how or if I can become power of attorney or executor of my son's funds to protect him from the vultures that have started to surround my son for the money he will receive when he becomes 18?
I did not mention that his condition is from an accident that happened when he was 2.You must immediately consult with an attorney who is experienced in developing a guardianship for you over your son's financial and medical status. I believe a POA is not appropriate in your situation as you state your son's medical condition is becoming worse as he gets older. The guardianship case will be addressed in court to set medical, legal and financial responsibilities for you as your son's legal guardian.
Please do not wait to start this process. Good Luck to your son & you!
My mother died in 1999 and her estate has been settled. However I found out that there was unclaimed property in the state of Pennsylvania. I tried to put a claim in, but the amount was too much. I told my brother the money was there. He has the Power of Attorney and is the executor who was the only one who could claim it.
A verbal agreement was to share it, but that is not happening. What are my rights? It says "Any claimant to whom payment is made shall be answerable therefore to anyone prejudiced by an improper distribution."If your brother is not sharing the property with you, you should discuss this problem with an attorney qualified in POA and estate issues. You may need to file suit against your brother to collect your share of the claim.
I have durable power of attorney over my dad and I just found out that the last 10 pages are missing. Now what do I do?
How did you complete the POA? Who would have copies?
I am from Hyderabad. I want to take money from a financier for interest and give power of attorney for 6 months. Is it safe to give power of attorney to a financier and is there any chance that the financier can misguide my property, run away from here, and come back after completion of agreement?
As per law I have to give money back in 6 months and cancel the agreement. If the financier is not available on given completion date of agreement I will lose my property.This sets off all the alarm bells! You need proper legal advice not guesses from us lot.
Marg from England.
I am a caregiver to a man who had a stroke 29 years ago. His wife died in 2008 leaving him alone. They didn't have any children or family. He gave POA for financials to his childhood friend and I have POA for personal care.
He's living in my home, and for the first 6 months I looked after everything until he signed a POA for both of us in 2010. Since his friend got POA for his financials he has never given him any information on his investments. For the first 6 months I had his investment adviser in to see him and explain everything to him. But his friend has not given him any information in the last 4 1/2 years. Doesn't he have an obligation to keep him informed of the state of his investments?
In a word, yes! I strongly suggest your friend IMMEDIATELY discuss this problem with his attorney and start the process of voiding the friend's POA. The POA "friend" is clearly not advising on the financial affairs on a regular basis-at least quarterly. I wonder if the "friend" is using the POA to improve his own financial affairs!!!
Can my mom who has power of attorney over my grandmother keep me from seeing her? My mom and I got into a fight and for over a year she has kept me from calling and seeing my grandmother. She has power of attorney over my grandmother and my grandmother has dementia, but it has not gotten so bad that she is incoherent.
She is still very alert and capable of doing for herself. She wants to see me because we have always been close. What can I do to see her? I am a college student and have limited funds and can't afford an attorney.A POA can not prevent you from visiting your grandmother unless the POA has specific wording stating so. Is your grandmother living in her home, with your mother or in an assisted living apartment, etc.? If your grandmother lives with your mother, visiting her will always be a problem if your mother continues her position. If she lives in her home or in a facility, you should be able to visit her without your mother's intervention.
Have you discussed your problem with your relatives? You can ask for their help in allowing visits.
Many colleges have attorneys on staff who can help students at little or no cost so you can try to obtain assistance or at least some direction. If this is not possible, you can go to your nearest legal aid office to at least discuss your problem with an attorney or a paralegal.
Good Luck!
How can my husband be my POA?
Yes he can but you want to be VERY careful about it! An attorney is your best source of advice and preparation of the POA especially if it is to be a 'durable' one.
I learned this the hard way - my husband of over 20 years used the durable POA to clean out our accounts and sell off all our assets before and during our divorce proceedings - I was left with absolutely nothing but our then 16yo son. He took EVERYTHING including our son's college fund, and the groceries out of the pantry and freezer. The sheriff he brought along said there was nothing he could do owing to the POA.
The man even tried using the POA (AFTER it had been voided by the court!) to avoid making child support and alimony payments - my son and I suffered so badly it's only now we're really recovering from the damage inflicted by the divorce aided and abetted by giving my now ex a durable POA.
Be very sure, and very careful, and the only way to do that is to have a snake-shark lawyer acting on your behalf. I thought I had a strong marriage but three years after giving my husband the POA I was destitute and trying to feed a hurt, angry, and hungry 16yo with no help from anyone - don't let this happen to you. It was 1998 and to be honest I still have scars, so does my son.
I have a friend whose mother is addicted to prescription pain pills and has been for 10 years or more. Her mother is close to 50 years old and she lives with my friend, her daughter. She does not work and is totally dependent on her daughter and her husband other than the small amount of money that she obtained from her recent divorce, which is almost gone. She has used the divorce settlement to pay for Dr. visits and prescriptions.
Her daughter had to take her to the hospital last night due to the fact that her mother has quit eating, lost a significant amount of weight, wouldn't get out of bed, and she was not completely coherent. The hospital said there was nothing physically wrong with her so the daughter convinced them to call a social worker from Pathways to come and have her admitted. Her mother, after several hours of arguing and being very ugly finally said she would go. They will only keep her for 5 days. Her daughter is 6 months pregnant with twins and needs her mother to get more help after the five days, but doesn't know where to turn. Would it help if she tried to get guardianship over her mother and is this even possible? She does not have any extra money if it is an expensive process. Please help. She only has 4 days left to get something done before her mother is released!
By Jolie
You can contact the Legal Aid Society in your state for free assistance using this website:
www.LawHelp.org
I am 61 years old and I am appalled by this story. I realize the woman loves her mother, but, really, a 50 year old woman should be able to look after herself, for goodness sake. If this situation was reversed -- if the mother was looking after an adult child with similar problems, many of us would be giving different advice. We would be urging tough love, and saying that the addicted person has to grow up and take charge of her own life.
Yes, addiction is an illness, but like alcoholism, you can't fix the problem for the addict. You can point them in the right direction, find programs, etc, but if you continually enable them to feed their addiction by looking after them and keeping them from taking responsibility for themselves, you are not doing any favors.
I think this mom should grow up and take charge of her own life, which includes finding her own place to live, finding a job, and getting her life straightened around. Your friend has a baby on the way, and that is where her priorities should be. The woman should be helping out her daughter at this time of her life, not being a burden.
I have power of attorney for my father. He has POA for my mother. He has not been declared incompetent but should be. They are both in a nursing home. He wishes to check himself and my mother out and return home. They both have major health problems and are almost blind. They would not have the care they need at home. The nursing home tells me he can check out. How can I stop him from checking themselves out of the nursing home?
By Robert Jr
I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation, Robert. And I certainly hope the voice of reason will prevail. Can you talk to your folks and help them understand the wisdom of not going home? Point out the care they'll need and the likely cost of hiring someone? Presuming you can't be there 24 / 7. Is the place they're in so bad that they really want to leave? Are there other options, locally?
One of my friends' parents are in a similar situation in that they need a fair amount of care but are very averse to moving into a home. They've formed a joint venture agreement with their neighbours to hire someone to provide nursing and meals: 4 homes, I think, sharing the cost of hiring one care-giver. Would something like that work for your parents?
Bottom line, what I'm really trying to persuade you not to do is make it a legal battle.
Best of luck,
Rose Anne
If this move would truly present a problem for their care and well being, you may have to take legal action.
Does your mother and father have regular medical care where they now live? Have you discussed this move with their doctor?
This may be your only recourse but only you can determine your next move.
My father-in-law died 7 months ago, his power of attorney was held by his lawyer who has been great until now. We are in the middle of trying to sell my father-in-law's home and the attorney just says he is done. Which we disagree with because there is someone on the will who will cause problems. Can the person with power of attorney just walk away like that?
By Susan
A Power of Attorney ceases upon death. Maybe that is what he means by "he is done." Depending upon the laws of your state, distribution will have to be done by an executor (if there was a will), or administrator (if there was no will). Our state has students of law who will answer legal questions for free. You might check this out with your local government office.
The attorney's "duties" with a POA ended when your father died.
Any duties of this nature will now fall to the executor of the will (which may be this attorney?) or if no will then you will probably have to hire an attorney to help you with legal matters.
Who gave you legal "right" to sell the house and who is deciding how the money received will be divided?
Was there a will stating how property was to be handled?
Did the will go through probate?
These are questions that only you know and what anyone assisting you will need to know. I feel sure you will need an attorney who will know how to handle all of this.
I have a brother who has been supported by our parents for about the last 30 years, he receives a civil service check every month for less than 800.00 a month. Over the past three years I have flown back and forth out of state to care for them, as I live in a different state and my brother lives very near, in a place which my parents paid for.
To make a very long story short last time I was there I had a durable POA and Trust made up with an attorney. My brother was fine with it. My father ended up passing and my mother has been suffering from dementia for years and deteriorating rapidly. My brother had the POA changed to him. My question is he lives there, but hasn't ever paid for anything and I am the trustee of the trust. Can he sell their car and house and their personal property in the event she goes into a nursing home? Please help; by the way we do not get along at all. Suzie Q
By Lori
Please see an attorney immediately as the issues in this situation are complex. The attorney will need to request copies of legal records, bank statements, etc., to thoroughly evaluate your case. This situation will require time and expense for the attorney to clarify all legal questions and provide a course of action for you to consider.
Perhaps you could return to the attorney that set up the POA and trust for advice. If not, I would say you need a new attorney ASAP.
My mother will be going into care soon, I already have power of attorney over her generally. Can they take all her pensions away from her as they go into her bank account?
By Noelia from Gibraltar
This is a difficult time for anyone facing this type of decision and can be very costly. You should seek legal advise if your mother has an estate of any size (home-mortgaged or not) as well as any savings or stocks, bonds, etc.
Remember - a Power of Attorney (POA) is only good while the person is alive and has no legal standing after death so be sure your mother has an up-to-date will.
A lot will depend on the type of care your mother will need and it may be more costly as her health deteriorates. Remember also - Medicare does not cover a lot of Long Term Care (Medicaid if applicable - will pay for most care). Please be very sure to state only the truth when completing the application for admittance to the nursing home as they have the power and, they will, check everything on those forms.
It appears that your mother may not qualify for Medicaid and will have to personally pay for her own care?
If this is the case - yes - the nursing facility will take your mother's pension (private pension and/or Social Security) to help cover the cost of caring for her. Although most pensions will not completely cover the monthly cost and the facility/state may seek compensation from other areas.
This is the reason I suggested that you seek legal help in sorting out how to best handle this situation. Many people do not find out about all these charges until after the death of a loved one.
Also, some families try to circumvent these losses by putting property and other things in another person's name. This does not usually work as the facility/state searches back 5 years to see if this was done "legally" and before the person knew of the pending circumstances.
I am not an attorney and therefore I am not offering any legal advise but I have worked with senior care facilities and therefore know a little bit about how they work. Sometimes it may not appear that someone has an "estate" worth all this trouble but you should seek legal advice to be sure.
No general advice will help you because you are in Gibraltar. Definitely get in touch with someone who specializes in Gibraltar laws.
If my sister has POA over my mom, does my mom have to stay with her, or how does that work?
By TG from TX
No she does not have to stay with her. I have POA for someone living in a different but nearby city.
I have POA for my Mom, and she doesn't stay with me. She lives in a memory care home.
I have POA and am the executor for my father. My mother is in her last stage of Alzheimer's and my father and I are her care givers. He does not have POA over her for she was not able to sign documents at the time he was aware of POA.
My father is worried that my evil sibling would take over if he had passed on. What can he and I do to make sure my mother keeps getting the great care she is currently getting from me and the rest of my family? Would it solve the problem by going to an attorney and drafting a health surrogate document that states my father's wishes?
By GD
Go see an attorney soon! Laws are different in each state so to be on the safe side I would go and see an attorney and get everything in writing!
I am an eldercare social worker in Ohio and the fastest thing to do is for you and your father to phone (immediately!) the probate court in the county where your mother now lives and make arrangements for the court to appoint you as your mother's legal guardian. This should be easy to do as it sounds as if your father would be in favor of it. I would suggest that you request guardianship of person and estate, so that you can protect her $$ assets in the future to ensure her care needs are met.
Is the person that is appointed to have power of attorney responsible for the person's debt?
Talk to a lawyer that specializes in poa. Laws vary by state and there have been many changes in federal law. My wife had to get poa for her father and the lawyer told us more in an hour than we could have found out by ourselves doing weeks of research.
I agree you need to talk to a lawyer about this. not do laws vary state by state the types of poa do to from general to medical only.
My brother is power of attorney for my mother. They reside in Georgia and I live in Maryland. My mother is living in an assisted living facility for Alzheimer's patients. When my mother has been admitted to the hospital or taken to the emergency room, my brother no longer informs me. He contacts my sister, aunt (mother's sister), and uncle (mom's brother). As power of attorney, is he obligated to inform me of her illness. I feel as though I have been alienated. Please assist.
My aunt has POA over my grandmother. After a recent yearly visit (I live in the UK and Grandmother lives in Hawaii), I noticed bruising on both my grandmother's arms. The home carer also documented the bruising. When questioned my grandmother said to the carer, to ask her daughter about it. When I asked my grandmother, she said her daughter sometimes grabs and shakes her.
I confronted my aunt and she denied causing the bruises without giving any explanation of how those bruises appeared. She has now banned me from visiting my grandmother at the house where they live, and even at her day care lodge.
My grandmother has also had very bad diarrhea and lost much weight. On inspection of the fridge that most of the food was moldy and tins of food over 2 years old. This was being fed by my aunt to my grandmother.
I have contacted the local authorities who are now investigating my complaints, but they will not give me any information with regards to progress due to not having any legal right to it.
If the local authorities do not remove POA can I apply to the courts to have the POA removed from my aunt to have it controlled by the State? What are my chances?
I need direction. My aunt (mom's sister) passed away. My aunt has no parents or children so Florida law says my aunt's siblings are to inherit her estate (aka: my mom). If my mom wants me to handle the attorney and estate issues (the story is much too long), do I need to get a power of attorney from her to act on her behalf?
Thank you for any and all insight. I don't even know where to begin.My grandma and grandpa years ago gave my uncle power of attorney. After he became POA he took out a mortgage on their home and did not notify anyone of this. Prior to this their home was paid off. My grandma died recently and in her will her request was to sell the home and split it between her children.
There is about 100,000 more owed on the home than it is worth. If her will says to sell does it need to be sold? No one has the 100,000 to pay the difference of the sold price and the amount owed.The person holding a POA for my great-aunt is haphazard in taking care of the financial responsibilities. Recently, the IRS garnished her accounts for back taxes due. There is plenty of money in her accounts. A CPA calculated the amount due, he just failed to pay.
If my mother gave my father POA and my father gives me POA, do I have a POA for my mother? Does this cover both financial and all legal matters? Thank you.
A friend's wife was in the hospital and is now in a nursing home. Medicare will no longer pay for her care and the nursing home wants to attach her income and assets. Her husband wants to take her home and set up care for her there. The nursing home is telling him he can not remove her from the nursing home unless he has a power of attorney.
They are pressuring him to sign documents giving them rights to her assets and property. They own a home together and he is concerned that he will lose the roof over his head if his wife passes and is refusing to sign any of their documents stating they take control over his home and assets.My grandmother is asking to go home. She has dementia. She is currently in a nursing home. I'm willing to take her home with me, but my uncles say no. The facility she is in is substandard and her children rarely visit.
Only one of my uncles is on file at the nursing home. However, there is no official POA. Do I have a right as grandchild to get custody of my grandmother and take her out of the nursing home?
