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Asking Your Parents to Let You Shave?

40 Questions

Here are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community.

I always wear pants because I can't focus since I have anxiety in social situations, like school. The farthest up I will go up is long capris. My mom and I are very close, but it's very awkward on both ends.

I have tried to talk to her about it, but we never get into actually talking about it. I sometimes hide my arms because of my social anxiety. It's such a weight on my chest. I don't like it.

Answers


Diamond Post Medal for All Time! 1,298 Posts
May 21, 20170 found this helpful

Since you and your mom have a good bond - it is awkward but its something you should tell her. You don't need to carry the anxiety, she's been in your position also.

 

Bronze Answer Medal for All Time! 138 Answers
May 21, 20170 found this helpful

wow-someone else asked this just a few weeks ago! most answers said to just tell your mom it was time for you to start shaving like your classmates-i went a step further and suggested you bring it up in the context of summer----hey mom, since last summer i have matured and really need to start shaving before pool (shorts, whatever) season. I am a 57 yo american who only shaves my legs and pits 6 months a year, at most, but when you are forced to shower with strangers you need to speak up to your mom, she'll understand. or else just do it, she can't (and won't) glue it back on

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
May 22, 20170 found this helpful

Your mom may agree to a depilatory instead of a razor. My mother did when I was a teen.

 

Bronze Answer Medal for All Time! 242 Answers
May 22, 20170 found this helpful

I echo those that have given you an answer already. As a mom to girls (2 teenagers & 1 soon to be) I don't always think of these things. We moms are not brain readers. If there is something that is causing more distress any mom with a heart will want to know. Your best option is to in a respectful way, tell your mom how you are feeling about it all and ask her to help you. In turn you are learning valuable communication skills that are helpful in awkward situations. My best to you in these sometimes hard years.

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 170 Feedbacks
May 22, 20170 found this helpful

If you and your mother go shopping together, take her to the area where disposable razors are on display? Ask her advice in selecting the best one?

 
Anonymous
May 24, 20170 found this helpful

Just do it. I did when I was 13 y/o, and my parents were out for the day. I thought I can take my time since they wouldn't be back for awhile. After the first shave, it's over and done with ... the second time was a proverbial piece of cake.

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
May 25, 20171 found this helpful

This question is asked quite often and as a general rule, receives a large number of reply's/suggestions.
We all recognize that every situation is different and has to be handled in the best way possible for the persons involved.
Does your mother ever read ThriftyFun messages? Hopefully she is a fan and maybe you can ask her to read some of the comments that others have written. Maybe you could even leave her a note with some links to these articles - or even an email or message?

There are a lot of links about this "problem" but here are a couple:

www.thriftyfun.com/tf26891678.tip.html

www.thriftyfun.com/When-Should-Girls-Start-Shaving.html

However you decide to broach the subject, (most likely your mother will agree) here is a good link that will give you some tips on how to safely shave your legs:

www.thriftyfun.com/Tips-for-Shaving-Your-Legs.html

It is nice that you and your mother have a good relationship - keep up the good work.

 
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October 5, 2014

I am 14 years old, in my freshman year of high school and I don't shave. I really want to, more than anything. I'm always too afraid to ask though. I hate when it's hot because I have to wear shorts. I've tried to buy my own razors before, but my twin sister said, "No, it's like hiding your period."


My sister isn't as crazy about this as I am. She gets really awkward when it comes to talking about anything like this, too.
All of my friends shave and I get so embarrassed whenever I'm in public. They always talk about it and I have to pretend to do something else because I'm too embarrassed. I think a few of them have noticed, and possibly talked about it behind my back. My legs make me anxious and I'm always feeling depressed.
I need to ask my mom soon. I can't take this anymore. Please help!

By Caroline S.

Answers

October 7, 20140 found this helpful
Best Answer

Just ask your mom. Tell her you feel confident and mature enough to start shaving.

 
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February 21, 2020

I'm 13 and too scared to ask my mum to shave my legs and I have thick black hair. I always see boys staring! My friends say I should just shave and not ask. My mum usually waxes my underarms.


Plz help.

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August 24, 2017

I want to shave badly because everyone at school makes fun of me. I'm 13 and everyone, even my friends, make fun of me because of my legs.

How do I get my mom to notice that I want to shave without asking her?

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August 22, 2017

I am 13 and have only just started to shave my legs. My leg hairs are still growing and even faster than before. I want to wax my legs, but I'm scared to ask my mum. What should I do?


Answers


Diamond Post Medal for All Time! 1,298 Posts
August 22, 20170 found this helpful

She knows you're shaving your legs. But you can tell her your experience and see if waxing is a better alternative for you. It may be uncomfortable but I'm sure she'll be understanding since you're maturing to be a women :)

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
August 22, 20170 found this helpful

It seems you have already accomplished the hard part - getting permission to shave your legs so consider why you wish to change to wax - are you sure you have sufficient reason to convince your mom?
Be sure you have read the correct way to shave your legs and if that is not working for you then show this problem to your mother (does she have the same problem?) and be prepared to answer any questions she has. Waxing is bigger job and can be painful, even if done correctly.

Here is a link to some suggestions -Wikihow has instructions for all type of hair removal.

www.wikihow.com/Shave-Your-Legs

www.goodhousekeeping.com/.../

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
August 22, 20170 found this helpful

Tell her the waxing lasts longer, and that you are self-conscious about the hair. If she says no, ask about a depilatory.

 

Bronze Post Medal for All Time! 105 Posts
August 22, 20170 found this helpful

I think your mom would understand. She gave you permission to shave your legs. I would be honest with her and tell her how fast the hair is growing back. Tell her that you want to try to wax your legs to see if this helps. I don't see a problem in this. I am sure she will say yes.

 

Diamond Post Medal for All Time! 1,246 Posts
August 23, 20170 found this helpful

I think she will understand but gather information for her first. :)

 
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December 8, 2019

I keep asking my mom to let me shave and she said yes and got me a razor and shaving cream. She told me that she would show me how, but never did.

And I keep bringing it up and she keeps forgetting. How do I remind her again because I dont like talking about shaving that much?

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October 29, 2018

My name is Grace. I am 13 in the 7th grade, I have not shaved. All my friends do, and when they talk about it I just don't know what to say while they are talking, like they say, "oh I cut my self, or oh I forgot a strip of hair". And it makes me feel uncomfortable when they do talk about it.

Recently my mom bought me a razor and shaving cream, and said we will do it tomorrow. It has been a month and I don't know how to bring this up to her that I need to shave.

The hair on my legs is really dark, like really. I am starting basketball very very soon. And I feel really weird having hairy legs. My mom and I have a close relationship, but I don't know why I can't tell her that I need to shave my legs. How do I remind my mom that she got me a razor without telling her?

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October 12, 2018

I am 15 yrs old and ever since I started my middle school (6th grade), I was often asked this question "Why do you have so much hair on your hands and legs?" by both male and female classmates. When I was in 7th grade I shaved my legs and my hands once without my mom's permission. So she scolded me and she said she will only allow me to shave after I am 17 or 18 yrs old, but I think that's way too long.

Now I am in 10th grade and a guy in 12th grade asked me "Why do you have so much hair on your legs?" I was really shocked and embarrassed. I didn't eat anything that day. I told my dad and he told my uncle without my permission. But when I told my mom, she was was like "You can shave" (in an angry tone). But my uncle went to my school's principal. And he and I were called in. I was shocked to see him. I actually didn't want him to get scolded as he could hold grudges and spread this incident in the whole school. And he actually did that. Although a few people know about this. Then my mom allowed me to shave my legs, but still I have a lot of hair on my hands. Many people stare at it. Indians are hairy and I asked my mom to let me shave my arms. (I was really afraid) and she was "No No No". My best friend started shaving in the 7th grade. Her mom told her that she could, but my mom is so freaking persistent. I am hairy that's why I have dense pores on my legs even after shaving.

Now Pujas (an Indian festival) is coming up and we buy clothes and wear them on this occasion. I am thinking of asking her to let me shave my hands. I need some advice regarding this. I'll be looking forward to these answers. Oh by the way my mom shaves.

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June 1, 2016

My mom and I don't have a really good relationship because she always works long hours and I don't really get a chance to talk to her. I'm 13 and in 8th grade. Basically everyone in my class is shaving and wears a bra (at least a sports bra), but I don't know how to ask her.

My legs are really hairy and I have a lot of armpit hair. My mom has brought it up a couple of times when I have casually said that I have lots of leg hair, but she just ignores it. Once though, she said that she didn't start shaving until she was in college. I can't wait until college! I really want to shave now. Even my dad and brother have brought it up to me how my legs look like boys' legs with all that hair.

Two years ago, we were shopping and I was buying a tank top with her and I told her how I didn't know if I wanted it because I had so much armpit hair. She told me I could shave it off, but she has never really gone back onto the topic. I have worn dresses before and I have purposely raised my arms to flash her my armpit hair to see if she would notice. I think she did, but she just never really brings it up.

On the topic of bras, currently, I am only wearing camis with like the training bras attached to them in the inside, but my mom won't upgrade me into an actual training bra. I just don't know how to bring it up. She doesn't wear sports bras and she doesn't own them either so I have a feeling she doesn't really know what they are or just never used them. All of my friends wear them and I really want one and I think I am ready for one.

How should I approach her about these? Lots of people say to just confront her, but when the time comes close, I just back out.

Answers

June 1, 20160 found this helpful

Tell her you need to talk to her about something important and have her set a time when she won't be working, like an appointment. then you can't just back out.

 

Bronze Answer Medal for All Time! 220 Answers
June 1, 20160 found this helpful

If making a time to talk with her is not possible, you can consider writing a note to her describing your specific concerns. Ask for her help to start shaving and going to a store for a bra-fitting.

Good Luck!!!

 
June 2, 20160 found this helpful

And if your mother doesn't come through (it happens), ask your best friend's mom? Or an aunt?

 
June 2, 20160 found this helpful

How's your relationship with your dad? Maybe you could ask him? Or maybe Mom is more comfortable with it than you expect she'll be. Just ask. As a mom myself, I left stuff like that up to my son, knowing that when he was ready, he'd ask. I agree with the other person that answered who said maybe you could leave her a note. Be strong, sweetie. Let her know how embarrassed you are because other girls your age are already shaving and wearing bras. I guarantee you she doesn't want you to feel bad about yourself. Hang in there!

 
June 15, 20160 found this helpful

Just talk to her alone or without any distractions tell her you need a bra you need to shave. I am scared to tell my mom I need to shave and I am not even a teen. I don't reply know about the bra I was in 2nd grade and she told me.

 
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April 22, 2020

Okay so I'm Indian so I have super dark long hair everywhere, on my arms, legs, armpits, face and basically just everywhere. I have started trimming my hair slightly using scissors, but its so tedious and I never get an even natural look.

I have got my armpits waxed for my formal (I live in Australia so basically a mini prom) because my dress exposed them and yeah, but it's been a year since that and my hair is getting out of control. I'm the only girl in my family other than my mum and I'm super awkward about these topics to my mum.

I have used my brothers' razors to get rid of hair and sometimes I steal my mum's tweezers to pluck my eyebrows. I'm 13, but I have even longer hair that my older brother who is 17. I'm so ashamed because all my friends have fine light hair whereas I don't. My school has uniforms which are skirts so everyday I expose my hairy legs and I hate it. I wish I could shave, but I don't know how to confront my mum. I'm kinda hoping she realises, but even after I showed how long my leg hair is she didn't care. But my mum is always plucking, shaving, or waxing it's not fair! Any tips to make her realise that I need to start shaving or at least using Nair just any way to get rid of my gross hair.

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September 17, 2019

I want to shave. I'm 14, my legs are hairy, and I'm an athlete. I don't think it looks nice if a girl has hair on her legs. I do! I asked my mom if I can shave my legs and she said no. The reason is because when she was my age she also had hair on her legs, she didn't shave because I think that her mom didn't let her. So I went and asked my dad if I can shave it and he said yes. Yes, No, which is it?


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April 28, 2019

I'm turning 14 very soon, I don't shave anything. My friends talk about it all the time and I just avoid the question. I am so awkward with things like this between me and my mom.

It's a month before summer and I want to start shaving before then. Should I ask her via text? Or would that be even more weird?

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April 22, 2019

I'm 15 years old and I'm so hairy because I'm a guy. I feel like asking my parents would be awkward. So should I ask them or just go for it and buy a razor?


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March 12, 2019

I'm turning 13 in a couple of months and am in the 7th grade. In school all my friends are making fun of my legs and they're very hairy. I get embarrassed in school about it. I mentioned to my mom that my legs are hairy, but she just ignores me.

My brother tells me too that they are hairy and I should ask my mom to let me shave, but I just don't know the way to ask her. Any advice?

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October 23, 2018

I'm 13 and I have really hairy armpits and legs. Everybody else shaves, and I really really want to as well. I freaked out and started shaving without my mum knowing. So far it hasn't caused any problems, but I have to use my mum's razor, and I know she'll find out soon. I really want to ask her to let me shave, so I can learn properly and get my own stuff.

But I'm really embarrassed and scared to talk to her about it. You see, I have a lot of anxiety and find it scary to ask my mum this. Should I just shave without her knowing? Or does anyone have tips on how to get her to ask me somehow? And there is no way that I'll be able to ask her.

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August 19, 2019

I want to shave my legs because they are really hairy and you can tell because the hair is thick and black. My sister said she would help me, but I don't know how to ask her.

My mom has noticed my leg hair, but idk?

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July 9, 2019

I'm a 13 year old girl. My mom won't let me shave at 13 when she was allowed to at 13. It's really embarrassing having hairy legs. I have golden blonde hair so my legs are pretty noticeable because they shine. All the other girls wears skirts and shorts because they can shave so they can wear that stuff without being self-conscious and embarrassed. I see their legs and it's embarrassing and I'm self-conscious about it.

My mom also knows I am and I have asked her before and she doesn't care how embarrassed or self-conscious I am about it. It's summer and I hate the summer because I don't like shorts. I only wear shorts in my room because if I wear them by her she looks at my legs and tells me how hairy my legs are. So does my dad when I go to his house. But my mom is the one who won't let me shave my legs so it's not my fault they are hairy. Sorry for how long the backstory or whatever took so long or so much reading.

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May 20, 2019

I am the second oldest out of 6 kids. My older sister has shaved her legs, but I don't know if she asked or if my mom offered, but we don't talk about puberty because she is judgmental. My mom almost has no time to talk one on one with me. I'm considering writing a letter, but idk. Help me. Idk if I have to ask my mom or if she is going to offer it.


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April 14, 2019

I've been going through "puberty" (I'm 15 years old) and am growing some serious armpit hair! It's starting to get extremely hot where I live and many kids at my school are wearing tank tops! I'm also a part of a dance group and the dress code there forces me to show my dark, hairy, full, sweaty, smelly, and gross hair!

(Um ew) Ever since it started to grow (2 years ago) I've been trying to ask my mom to help me, but that's so awkward. I don't think I can do it! I really don't feel like asking my mom. What should I do? Should I talk to her? (I'm also having a performance in my armpit hair showing outfit in a few weeks sooooo) Please help!

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April 21, 2016

I'm 13 and I was wondering if I should ask my mom if I could start shaving because I just feel embarrassed to show my legs in school or outside of school. I really need help on this because my mom doesn't shave and last time I asked her and she ended up saying no which made me mad and angry because every girl at school shaves except for me. Please help!


(Sorry for grammar errors)

Answers


Bronze Answer Medal for All Time! 220 Answers
April 21, 20160 found this helpful

A good way to ask your mom about shaving is to simply write her a note asking for her help to learn how to shave your legs. You can explain that you are embarrassed and would like to start shaving now.
Good Luck!

 

Silver Feedback Medal for All Time! 337 Feedbacks
April 23, 20160 found this helpful

Another thing you can do is enlist the help of an aunt or older cousin who does shave her legs. They might help you broach the subject to your mom.

 
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