I am planning a bridal shower for a friend and what she really needs is either money towards the honeymoon or for "gifts" from the honeymoon resort such as massages, etc.
Can anyone give me any ideas on how to word the invitation? I am hoping to make it a brunch at a small restaurant. I'm figuring about 25-30 people to be in attendance. Thanks so much. Everyone is so creative I just knew this would be the right place to go for help.
By Gail from NJ
Unless etiquette has changed, I don't think it's truly proper to request specific things on invitations. Back when I got married (15 years ago) I remember reading that you're not even supposed to put where you're registered on the invitations (although people did it anyway). It's like you're ASKING for gifts. If a guest asks, THEN it is okay to tell them where you (or, in this case, the bride & groom) are registered.
But, it's been a while, and I haven't been keeping up with such things. Maybe someone else will come up with something more acceptable. Best of luck -- hope the shower goes over well.
I totally agree with you, however, they have been together for a couple of years, have a house and it's all furnished and what they really need is a honeymoon. That's why I'm looking for a good way to word it so no one gets insulted. Thanks for your feedback. I truly appreciate it.
It is a bit awkward to ask for money specifically, although people seem to have no problem buying off gift registries, but guess that is considered okay. Maybe the way to do it is to NOT call it a bridal shower. Maybe come up with a theme that surrounds their honeymoon. May sound corny, but for example if they were going to Hawaii, maybe do a luau theme and instead of listing the registry, suggest they bring something useful for the honeymoon. Maybe you could direct them to the couple's website that has info on their honeymoon (ie - Hotel). There are also honeymoon registries out there where you register and then people can buy parts of your honeymoon for you.
I feel asking for money, etc. is a little on the "tacky" side. I have read that in various advice columns in magazines and newspapers, quite recently too. I never had a honeymoon and several years later when my younger sister got married, they spent a weekend in a motel about 50 miles from where they were going to live. My thought is don't plan a honey moon that you can't afford.
IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, I think I would steal away a copy of the mailing list and send a personal letter, three-days-to-same-day as the invites, to the family members and closest friends only, of the bride and groom that reads somewhat as follows:
I am looking now at the fabulous resort brochure of the "Honeymoon Destination" that so-and-so will take at such-and-such later date, and wow does it look posh! It occurred to me that the lovely couple has all they need to set up their home, and may need some help making this honeymoon a great memory. Would you be interested in joining me in an effort to help them finance their stay?"
Of course you can word it any old way you want, but be sure to introduce yourself right off the bat if the family may not know who you are, and just be congenial and genuine. AND FOR SURE put in there that no gift is expected, but if they had given thought to the matter, that you have a neat idea. (Bet you get all kinds of responses!)
Maybe you could make up some kind of money tree, or giant check to put on the gift table, make it fun and exciting!
The point is that their family members are going to want to know that the couple appreciated the gift. If neither of them have been married before, gifts are generally a given. You will start the ball rolling in a great direction.
It is bad etiquette for the bride and groom to ask for money, but a neat gift idea in a joint co-op would be cool and a fake giant check would make the couple laugh!
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