Having a Wedding Reception Without Candles

August 15, 2008

Wedding Reception table with a floral arrangement in the middle.I am getting married in April and I am not allowed to have candles at the place that I am having the reception at. Please help me, we are having a beach theme for the reception decorations since we are getting married on the beach.




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August 18, 20080 found this helpful
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Maybe Solar Lights? They can continue to be used in your yard, on your deck, even for subtle indoor lighting (as long as they're kept in a sunny spot during the day) or given away as gifts to family and friends after the wedding :-)

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December 30, 20080 found this helpful
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Now that Christmas is over, you can get very good string lights at very good prices. Stock up on those, as well as LED tea lights and LED votives (some are a steady 'flame' while others flicker realistically). String the string lights around every post, beam, and outline you can find, then place the LED tea lights anywhere that you'd normally put a candle.


Instead of a unity candle, try these ideas to celebrate the concept of unity:

Unity Glasses: Have the bride hold a glass of red wine (or grape juice) and the groom hole a glass of white wine/juice, then each pour their glass into a larger glass to blend the two together. Each may drink from this cup as part of the vows. In a Jewish ceremony, this would be the wine for blessing; in a Christian one, this could serve as their communion cup.

Unity Circle: The bride walks three times around the husband, then the groom walks three times around the bride, then the two join hands and create a final circle around one another (the 'center' being their joined hands). Walking the circle signifies that the two are enfolding and enclosing one another within their mutual affection; that each one claims ownership of the ceremony, willing participation in the marriage, and propriety over the other; and creates a protective, sacred space, a symbol of the home they will build for one another.


Unity Cake: The two share a petit four or a cupcake, signifying the sweetness of the love they share and the commitment to nourish and sustain one another physically and emotionally.

Unity Food: Similar to Unity Cake. The couple share a small piece of bread (sustenance) drizzled with honey (sweetness) and sprinkled with sea salt (the tears of joy they will cry together, and the tears of sorrow through which they will strengthen one another), and wine/grape juice (joy, consecration).

Unity Room: This one is my personal favorite, and it's the one featured in my own wedding. It's an old Jewish tradition called "yichud," which means "unity, oneness." There wouldn't be an overt symbol of unity during the ceremony itself. However, after the ceremony, the couple would avoid running down the aisle to a long and tiring receiving line. Instead, they would walk off to the side room to spend their first few married moments alone together. They should enjoy a small meal of whatever they like best, while everyone else is jostling to get to the reception hall and eat their meal. Whether it's just five minutes or more like a couple of hours, they should be able to rest, relax, and encounter one another as husband and wife for the first time. Then they can change into their reception outfits to match the mood of the reception, head to the venu, and join their guests in time for formal presentation as Mr. And Mrs. Couple. At this time, fortified with food and relaxation time, they can freely celebrate, receive individual greetings and congratulations, and be there in time for dancing and cake cutting.


Uniqueness Gifts: This can replace the other ideas, but I prefer the idea of using it in conjunction with one or more of the others. Rather than focusing on the blending and melding aspects of marriage, this idea brings forth the realization that these are two individuals, who lived for some twenty or more years before finding one another, and are whole and complete even separate (though much happier when not separated!). Bride and groom present one another with small gifts that relate to their separate identities. A man marrying a doctor might present her with a new stethoscope, engraved with her initials (married initials, if they're going to change) or with something indicative of love. A woman marrying a lover of the arts might gift him with season tickets to the symphony, or a print or lithograph of a painting he admires. A scholarly couple might offer one another a beautifully bound book, or an engraved writing set (matching fountain pen, rollerball, and pencil), or the Encyclopedia Britannica or OED on CD. Animal lovers might present one another with, say, a paid membership for their local no-kill animal shelter, and a promise to adopt a pet within their first year together.

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