My ex-husband stopped paying his court-ordered child support approximately six months ago. I have made several attempts to reach him, to no avail.
He does not live in the United States anymore, and currently lives in Europe somewhere, but I am unsure of where since he is now remarried to a German woman. He is not in the military, I don't know where he works, and he has never shared his phone number with me or my children. He has not called the kids in more than seven months, and I am guessing that he has no plans to do so in the future.
I am not trying to force him to pay the child support, but merely protect myself and my kids. When we split, we decided on shared custody, 50/50, and now that he can't be found, I am not sure what to do. My fear is that he will reappear and take my kids and I am powerless to do anything about it. If he can't be served because he can't be located, what should my next/first step be in order to attain full custody of my children?
By Amanda
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The answer depends on the laws of your state. Have you tried a search using the term 'child custody laws (and the name of your state'? Should be a lot of info there.
It's possible that the attorney who handled your divorce can go back to the court and prove he has effectively abandoned the children-you'll need to provide evidence of non-payment of child support, proof that he has left the USA and entered into a new marriage to a EU citizen and has made no effort to contact the children since (which should presumably prove he has no interest in returning to the US and a relationship with your children).
You'll probably have to also provide proof that you have been diligent about attempting to contact him to encourage a continuing relationship with the children.
There may be other pieces of evidence, but (depending on the laws of your state) your attorney should be able to terminate his parental rights, and arrange for him to be tagged as a potential parental kidnapper.
The children's schools, your state and local police, and possibly the US State Department should be contacted and made aware of the potential parental kidnapper status if you can get your custody order changed to eliminate his rights.
Is he a US citizen? If yes, you may be able to use State Department channels to track him down-consult your attorney.
Make sure YOU apply for and receive US passports for the children NOW to prevent him from using his current parental standing to obtain passports for the children and then use those passports to remove your children from the US.
Good luck. I went through a divorce when my youngest was 16 and only because I'd taken the steps above was I able to prevent my ex from grabbing our son. He did try-he applied for a US passport...luckily my divorce attorney had forewarned me and I'd already got the passport. When the ex applied for a passport for our son he ticked the 'first' passport box which triggered an alarm at the State Department.
My son is now 30-and I raised him. He never saw his father again.
Please update, and let us know how things go for you!
This is a good time to go see the Friend of the Court at the courthouse in your county. Take your final judgment with you if you have it. If it has been more than 6 months and he has not even attempted to call the kids, there is a good chance they can help you fill out forms to request full custody. The FOC for your county will know best what you are allowed to do. Boy if he is living in Europe, need to see about it. If he took them there, there would be a good chance he might not return them.
All of the other is advice is good. I was married to a foreigner who left the country and I raised the kids; he eventually resurfaced and became American citizen but we are old, kids were grown, and statute of limitations had expired on child support. Eh!
I think your main threat is he could take them legally, and you can't track him. Getting full custody is #1. Number 2 is seeing if you can track him to notify him of legal change so he will be less tempted to try that if he ever wants to. Do you know anything about this woman [her previous name?]; how did you find out
This is the age of the internet; before the net, I once tracked down someone who lived across the world, using an assumed name [briefly, for privacy reasons], while visiting yet another country, in a hotel.....with persistence, I believe even in Europe, he can be found. Just think 6 degrees of separation.
It's important that he know the legal status has changed so he won't be tempted to ever take the kids, because even if you had custody, and he managed to get them, if you can't find him, your custody arrangement won't matter at all.
Get to your state or county family support or child support office ASAP! You need to get in writing the apparent abandonment, and get full custody of your kids ASAP! Best of luck to you.
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