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As a working parent of 6 kids (the oldest 4 are in a 5 1/2 year age span), the kids helping with chores was a given. Our system was the job jar. All household chores were written down and put into a job jar. Pink paper for the under 6 set, and yellow paper for those school age and above.
Every Friday, we all sat down and everyone, including parents, drew their jobs for the following week. We had a chart hanging on the wall that had everyone's name, their jobs for the week, and a space for Mom (or Mamaw) to sign off when the job was done satisfactorily (without more than one reminder) and finished each day of the week.
On Saturday, anyone that had their assigned chores done at least 6 out of the 7 days, participated in a "treat day". We took turns choosing the treat for the week, from a list provided by Mom (depended on time and money available). The treat might be a picnic, a trip to the pool, a movie, a trip to the zoo, or a Baskin Robbins ice cream treat, etc. Anyone not completing their assigned chores was left at home with grandmother, with no TV or phone privileges for the weekend.
In the early days of course, a 6 year old assigned to cook supper needed a lot of help from Mom or Grandmother. By the time they were 10-12 years old, they (boys and girls) could all plan a menu. They could make a edible, balanced meal for the family, fix lunches for school, vacuum, mop, etc.
From 9th grade on, they were also involved in budgeting, balancing the checkbook, writing the checks for monthly bills, seeing that they were mailed, making the grocery list, and shopping for groceries.
We do not give our kids enough credit. Even a 2 year old can empty a waste paper basket or pick up toys, and put them away. It is not just a case of helping out Mom. Everyone lives there, eats the food, and wears clothing. Everyone needs to feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for their home.
When we don't teach our kids to clean their homes, wash their clothes, cook a decent meal, manage their time, manage their money, and accept their responsibilities, we do them a grave disservice because someday they are going to have their own homes and families to manage. You can't teach those things by starting the week before they leave for college.
I agree wholeheartedly with joanfry. More families like this would make for a happier and no doubt healthier world. My quote for the day: always take the opportunity to say a kind word.
P.S. I get the feeling that spell check would have been a good thing! (For me.)
Here is a tip to help organize time, reward labor, and ensure you get to work on that project that's been sitting in the corner.
Take a sheet of paper. With a pencil, write on one side all the chores that the person doesn't like to do/needs to do. On the other side, write a corresponding reward (15 minutes of beading, 5 minutes dance, 1 hour sewing, etc). When a chore is completed, write down the rewards earned. I write mine on the dry erase board. To personalize, I reward myself with a bigger reward for tasks I really dislike, and make extra incentives for stuff I'm working on.
For example: I don't like doing the kitchen, so completing that task will earn me an hour to sew. I'm working on getting outside more, so I came up with a separate reward for going outside, walking a mile, and running errands. I also reward myself for each chore, so that I'm not stressed out to clean the whole house in a day.
This helps in being a good daily incentive (take it from a homemaker) and not rewarding yourself/child's labor with "more labor" (a stressful habit). It's a nice stress reliever to "earn" time to get to those things you always like to do, even if they could technically be called "labor" as well (enjoyment/fun makes a big difference!)
Enjoy your day!
By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA
This I am going to try. I definitely have procrastinitus.
Take a bin with their left out stuff in it and add a print out that says this:
When my kids (and fosters) were young, I bought a roll of tickets (like those at a carnival). They are available at places like WalMart. I made lists of chores, age appropriate for each child.
My daughter has mirrored closet doors, we use them to keep a daily check list of things to be done. She loves putting the check by the item, or sometimes a mini artwork flower. At the end of the day, we wipe off the checks and she's ready for the next day.
I know people with multiple kids. Some of them don't think chores are for kids. One says it's all women's work (hehe), and getting them to help out is a chore in itself!
When my kids were younger, each had plastic hangers, a laundry hamper and clothes basket in their favorite color. They knew what laundry was theirs and were responsible for putting it up, just by the color of the hanger and basket.
This is a great way to organize your kids to do chores.
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I'd love some ideas on how you do chores. We have four small girls. We agree they need daily chores to do. We agree that some things need to be done because you are a member of the family. Where do "just because chores" and "receive allowance chores" start and end?
Doing chores and having an allowance are both part of being a family. I had an allowance to spend as I chose or I could save it for something special. Being the kind of person I am, I always saved back some special purchase. As to chores, my parents took a "you are part of this family" and I was expected to do my share within limits of my abilities.
I learned when my children were small that it was my responsibility to teach them the skills to be a wife, husband, mother, father, college student and to be self-sufficient. At an early age, I taught my children that we are a family and we should take pride in our home and also to learn different skills in the household; they learned to make their beds, laundry, bathroom cleaning, kitchen duties (loading dishwasher, unloading dishwasher), dusting furniture, vacuuming and to know their way around the home as far the location of items that they could find themselves by being involved in the household chores. My children were making their own school lunches beginning in kindergarten (I had arranged all the lunch box items in an area they could get to without assistance); they placed their lunch boxes in the fridge and I would remind them about their lunches in the fridge; back packs were packed after doing homework and placed by the door. After school chores were to be completed plus homework completed before my children could play outside; they always had enough time to play outside! My son who is 34 and has a 4 year old son thanked me for teaching him the skills he needed to be a husband and father even though at the time when I insisted that the chores should be done he didn't understand but now he does and that makes me happy. Chores are important for a child's self-esteem and growth as they grow older, more household skills are learned and they become self-sufficient.
We didn't have a lot of money and I was a single mom and had a stroke at 38 so learning the difference was fairly easy. We picked up cans or made things to sell for spending money for Mcdonald's and such or something they wanted real bad then we all pitched in and helped. The chores were not tied to the allowance but the behavior was and if they misbehaved no allowance. A couple times of losing that and they got the message. If you didn't do your chores you didn't get to participate in family time till you did.Last resort got punished according to what we agreed was appropriate for the offense.
Chores for real small children should be according to their age and start with one or 2 simple things. Make their bed and put up toys won't be perfect to begin with but gentle urging that is a sloppy job and help a couple of time then no that is your job usually works unless they run your house.
I have 4 daughters, 11, 7, and twins that are 5. I am ashamed to say they have been quite "spoiled" when it comes to helping out with chores around the house up until now. I am a stay-at-home-mom and I have found it's easier to just do things myself, but I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with the cleaning! I was hoping I could find some ideas on how I can make up a "chore list" or something similar that will help in getting my girls to participate in the upkeep of our house. What has worked for you or what hasn't worked? Any feedback is much appreciated!
I learned this through a parenting class and at first I wasn't too sure how it would work. I have 3 daughters, 10, 12, and 14 years old. I used to have to fuss all day long trying to get just their rooms clean. Then I decided to try this new technique. First decide what it is you would like them to help do then you give them a choice: clean bathroom or do dishes, for example. they get to pick what to do and do not feel like they are being told what to do. It worked like a charm with no fussing all day. ALSO another approach i use is the timer method, make a BIG deal like its a race. you set the timer for 15 minutes. You clean in one room for this set time when the timer goes off you are done in that room. my girls and I will all clean in one room and you will be amazed how much can get done in a short time frame. We turn the radio on and when we are done we have the rest of the day to do whatever we wish.
I have an 11-year-old and 9-year-old twins. There is a certain amount of cleaning they are expected to do without getting paid, such as making their bed, cleaning up their rooms, etc.
Whenever they want to buy something and need money, I use that as an opportunity for them to earn money by doing cleaning chores. I make a list of everything that needs to be done and assign a monetary value. They each take turns choosing the tasks they want.
Typical chores for my 11-year-old are vacuuming, scouring the kitchen sink, and windows. The 9-year-olds can clean the bathroom sinks, empty trash cans, dust, and unload the dishwasher.
It takes a few times showing them how, but after that they can do it themselves. I keep a little bucket under their sink with a sponge and cleaner so they can get it out themselves when it's time to clean.
I haven't been able to have them do these jobs regularly, but when they're motivated to earn money for something, they do very well!
google : printable chore sheets or theres one called chart jungle that sends updates.
you could start them each with a balance of say $15 a week then from there, things that DON'T get done are viewed as CRIMES & they get penalized for them by you subtracting funds from their balance.
It would work the same as when I was in school & at the start of the year everyone had an A; all we had to do was KEEP it!
Hopefully it's not too late to teach your daughters to do their chores. They say it's much, much easier to start them off very young. But good luck. I hope something works for you. I strongly encourage you to atleast try. My husband's sister,a stay-at-home mom like you, raised her daughter the same way you've been raising yours (thought it was easier to just do everything herself) and has really reaped the whirlwind as they say. Poor sis-in-law is now raising her daughter's 3 illegitimate children, whom she's also not teaching to do chores. She is trying to raise those 3 little kids and still do everything herself at the age of 56! As a consequence, her health is shot, the house looks like a disaster area, and the kids are getting more and more out of control. So you hang in there and give it a good try. If you have trouble with the girls refusing to all of a sudden take orders from their sweet, easy-going mother who's been doing everything for everybody, maybe a female relative - your mother, mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, (somebody who can be tough when she needs to be) could come over for a few days and kind of put your daughters through a sort of chore "boot camp". Good luck!