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When I was a little girl, my mother took me to the theatre
every year to see A Christmas Carol. After the performance,
we would have an early dinner at some elegant restaurant,
then stroll downtown to see the Christmas decorations. It
was always girls only -- my brothers were never invited.
As a single mother, I could rarely afford that kind of treat
when my children were small. I did, however, love the idea
and tradition of giving one day to each child -- during every
season, not just the holidays.
This tradition had the unexpected benefit of reducing the gimmes
in our household; since each child got equal opportunity, there
was less squabbling over daily inequalities -- like who got more
french fries, and who got more computer time.
The One Day Only Sale -- as it came to be called by my
mall-loving daughter -- works like this:
You and the child spend one day together with no distractions,
on an activity you both enjoy, or at least both are willing to try.
Don't drag him to an art gallery if he hates that kind of thing, and
don't agree to a wrestling competition if it makes you nauseous.
Schedule your days to coincide with the changing of the seasons.
Every spring, summer, fall and winter, you schedule a date with
each child, one child at a time.It must be engaged time -- no
letting your pre-teen play video games at the arcade while
you read a novel. Unless your budget is generous, it should
not be expensive.
Here are some things we have tried over the years:
College football game, followed by dinner and a movie
Museums, art galleries, free concerts
Theatre productions at colleges and high schools
1-day workshops on meditation, tai chi, computers, water
aerobics, belly dancing, and Italian cooking
Nature hike with bird watching
Working on a book on our family history
Bowling, roller skating, ice skating, snowboarding
Ski lesson
Scuba lesson
Building a snow fort in the back yard
Going to as many flea markets in one day as is
humanly possible
Book signing by a favorite author
Sleigh ride or hay ride, depending on the season
A neighbor of mine travels often with her son. On their One
Day Only, they often spend the day planning a vacation --
visiting travel agencies, collecting brochures, picking up
guidebooks and language tapes at the library, deciding
on a budget, shopping (not buying) at the luggage outlet
store, lunch at an ethnic restaurant.Another dad we know
got his daughter interested in auto repair. Last year they
spent their day overhauling a ansmission.My kids still
compete and compare, but instead of a full-fledged battle,
I often hear "Just you WAIT until my next One Day Only!"
About The Author:
© 2002 Kay Bolden
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Kay Bolden publishes a free e-zine for nontraditional families,
http:///www.FamilyFestNewsletter.com, and is the author of
Think Outside the Minivan: A Guide for Traveling with Kids.
Email her at kbolden@ameritech.net or visit her website,
http://www.kaybolden.com.
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