Concerns For Daughter Who Recently Has Been Depressed

My daughter has always hated summer and wears tank tops to block out the heat. All of a sudden she's been acting depressed. This is unusual because she's always happy. And now she wears long sleeves. I'm concerned that she's cutting herself. What's going on?

By Tina from Oklahoma City, OK

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September 7, 20100 found this helpful

Tina, I've never been in your situation. I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. Any idea what might be bothering her? If she's in public school, try setting up an appointment for you to talk to the counselor (without your daughter), and maybe they can give you guidance. Or call her doctor's office, and set up a time to talk to someone there (again, without your daughter). They should be able to point you in the right direction, and will probably know of resources available to help you.

I hope that she isn't cutting herself. Let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you (I'm just south of OKC!).

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September 10, 20100 found this helpful

Hi, Tina. I, too, am in OKC. I have had a daughter depressed as well.

Get counseling! You didn't say how old your daughter was or why you suspect she may be cutting herself. Cutting is a serious matter. Get some help quickly! If she's still in school, go to the counselor. That's a good place to start. They can refer you elsewhere. If she's not in school, make an appt. with a counselor for yourself first to find out how to proceed.

There's a wonderful counselor in Edmond named Billie Burke. We went to her and she's great. Look her up in the phone book.

You must do something right away. This is not something to ignore. Trust me, I know.

God bless you,

Debby

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Anonymous Flag
September 10, 20100 found this helpful

As already mentioned here you must reach out for help in your area immediately! I am not trying to scare you but the wearing of long sleeve shirts when she didn't used to could also be a sign of hiding drug abuse. :-(

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September 10, 20100 found this helpful

Suddenly wearing long sleeves when you usually don't can be a sign of cutting or drug use, especially with behavior changes too. You don't say how old your daughter is, but you should first tell her that you are concerned that something is making her unhappy & see if she will talk to you about it,that might be all it takes to get her to open up. Also, ask her why she is wearing long sleeves in the summer all the time & ask her to show you her arms. If she refuses and/or tries to lay a guilt trip by accusing you of not trusting her, you know she's hiding something. If she has marks on her arms, or somewhere else, she's going to have a good excuse. If she shows you & there's nothing there, she could still be depressed or having body image issues.

If you think she has issues & needs to see a therapist, ask your doctor's office for a referral, ask people you know, call the county health dept. & ask for recommendations, maybe ask the school councilor who they would recommend.

Be very, very careful what you say to the school. You can tell them if you think she may be depressed, but don't tell them it's because she's wearing long sleeves, you think she might be cutting herself, or are worried about drug use. I live in Tulsa, & in my district in grades 8-12, they don't always have a lot of sympathy for kids who may be having problems with drugs or other issues like that & sometimes instead of trying to help them, they want to punish them & end up causing more trouble. And if they catch them in school doing something illegal & decide to make an example of them, that child could be facing felony charges!

Really, try to talk to her first in a casual, relaxed setting. Let her know you love her, you are worried about her, you want to help her work through whatever problem she might be having, & that nothing she tells you is going to get her in trouble - and remember that, if she has a problem, she needs help & not punishment.

She might be glad to open up to you if something is bothering her.She might not really even realize if she does have a problem or know what it is. Depression is a chemical imbalance & a lot of people who have it don't really realize they are depressed, they just feel tired or a little sad. Good luck & follow your instincts.

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September 11, 20100 found this helpful

Could she be wearing long sleeves because she has got herself tattooed and does not want you to know? (My brother did this to hide the tattoos from our mother).

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