My 4 year old stepson has started crying when he is told he can't have something or is told to do something. He even does it after he has had his nap. His father, mother, and myself do not know what to do about this. Any help would be appreciated.
I would not try to fight with him about it; no one wins in a power struggle with a four-year-old. I am sure it is a stage that will pass quickly, so long as you respond consistently. (And I am thrilled that the 3 of you are working together, so good for the child when all the grown ups are on the same page. Congratulations on that maturity.)
If he were mine, and he began to cry without a good reason (pain, true sadness, or disappointment, etc.), I would take him by the hand and calmly walk him to his room or another designated time out spot and say something to the effect of: "I know that you wanted to _____, but the answer is no. Crying will not change my mind, so I need you to stay here until you are done crying. When you are done, I will be happy to_______" and fill in the second blank with something you feel to be appropriate to the moment. (For example, if he wanted a cookie before supper, I might offer a carrot; or if he wanted TV and it is not time for TV, offer a book; and so on. Good luck. Just keep reminding yourself, this, too shall pass.
Sounds like he is testing you all if he is crying because he can not have what he wants. Do not give in. If he is not to have it then stick to your guns. It does not take children, but one time to learn how they can get by with things and get what they want. I have been teaching 4 and 5 year olds for 20 years. As long as you know he is not hurting or hungry then just let him cry this will pass.
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Please someone help. I have a 4 year old granddaughter that cries when she doesn't get her way. It's getting to the point where I'd rather have her not come and see me.