Potty Training Advice

RE: Potty Training Advice Post By (Guest Post) (06/19/2008) Like many people I used the sticker chart when I toilet trained my 3 kids. I let them choose the stickers and put the chart in their bedrooms. Don't punish if your child doesn't get it right every time. Simply say "oh dear", take them to the toilet - if they sit they sit, if not don't force and then get them to help clean up the mess. I found the best way to get my son who is 6 toilet trained was to let him see us adults using the toilet and then asking him to try. He was really taken with the children's toilets at our local shopping centre that had a big person and small person toilet next to each other. My mum suggested putting them on the toilet and sitting their talking and or reading for about 5 minutes - if something happened well good. I also waited until the summer months and let them run around with no nappy on, but you need to have a week or two when you are going to be home. I do make my kids go to the toilet before we leave home to go out and again before we leave somewhere to come home. I never used a potty - grandma bought a padded toilet seat and a small step stool. I know it's annoying and frustrating but training can take time and the more you stress - particularly if you have a stubborn child - the worse it will be. I have bought a bed wetting alarm for my son, as he is such a sound sleeper that he just didn't wake up. After 6 weeks of use - he is dry - I have kept the alarm in case he has a relapse or a cold and we need to do some more training. I also explained to mine that what they eat go used by the body and what was left over came out the other end (the dog proved to be a good teaching tool). I explained that it was natural and everyone did it. The poor dog was observed at great length eating and then pooing. He was observed so much that he got used to having an audience when he pooed that when the fascination wore off and no one watch him - he would come and scratch at the door to get someone to come and watch him. - he's a mad kelpie. I do remind my kids to go the loo, but when they were little and we did have the odd accident in the shopping centre - I used to carry a small back pack with a spare change of clothes, plastic bag and wipes for a quick clean up. I used to say "oh well" and tried to stay calm. Even now I keep a back pack in the car with a spare set of clothes for each kid. Do check with your doctor if you think there is something wrong, but don't punish, don't leave kids sitting in wet clothes or knickers. Sitting in wet clothes in not good for their health and can make matters worse as they can panic. Also kids can't hold it - give them plenty of chances to go to the loo - when my 4 year wet her pants at local shop after asking to go to the loo, I was standing in line to pay for something - I ticked her off and got very angry with her. When we meet grandma for lunch - I was in a mad mood and I had a grumpy 4 year old. Grandma gave my daughter a huge hug and said these things happen. She then asked me what a happened. My mum has bowel and bladder problems herself , so she knows that when she has to go, she has to go. She reminded me of this and that kids only have small bladders. I know that this is not always possible but I do get my kids to go to the loo if I know that we are going to be away for awhile, especially my 6 year old who sometimes gets so focussed on what he is doing, he isn't aware until he really needs to go. Also give kids reminders. My son knows that after lunch he needs to go to the toilet, as he can't get through the afternoon at school. He has had several accidents - when the teacher has told him to put his hand down. He carries a spare set of clothes in his bag and some wipes, he knows to go to a cubicle in the boys toilets, change, put the wet clothes in the plastic bag and put them in his bag. Since getting him to go at lunchtime - we have had no more problems. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Potty Training Advice Post by Glenn'sMom (280) | (06/18/2008) Profile | Blog! | Contact I can see there is already MUCH advice on this and since I didn't read it all I may repeat something...oh well! When my little brother was in the process of being potty trained mother bought him some really honest to goodness BIG BOY underwear! No training pants, diapers, etc. There were no pull ups in those days. She told him BIG BOYS didn't potty in their pants and if he wanted to do that he had to go back to wearing BABY PANTS!!Worked for her! Report Spam or Abuse Request: Potty Training Advice Post by lewis_admin (1319) | (06/17/2008) Profile | Blog! | Contact How can I potty train stubborn 3.5 year old? My nephew had been raised in a less than desireable environment. He knows when he needs to go but CHOOSES not to go in the potty. I have tried EVERYTHING. The only thing that got a reaction from him was taking his pull ups away and letting him roam bare bum, he thew an absolute fit and told me that his mommy put diapers on him and so I should. Later when he was getting ready for bed I put his night time pull up on him and 2 seconds later he had a poop in his pull up, so I made him clean it up and he was very upset because it was yucky and he didn't want to clean it up, he wanted me to because his "mommy does". Am I being too harsh? Danielle from Kelowna, BC Answers: RE: Potty Training Advice The reward system worked like a charm for me. Every time my children used the potty, they got an M&M out of the jar. (07/04/2006) By Marnita RE: Potty Training Advice Bedwetting in an otherwise toilet-trained child is not about toilet-training. These kids usually sleep so soundly that they don't feel the urge. Talk to your doc if this persists in kids who are fully trained and still wet only at night after 4 or 5 . Enuresis (night-time wetting) is more common in boys than girls and often is more prevalent in boys whose father was a bedwetter, too. Other than that bit of info, all the other posts are right on-reward, do not punish, and let the over 3's clean and change themselves and even strip their own beds and bring soiled or wet things to the laundry. (07/04/2006) By Linda RE: Potty Training Advice * Tell him you are not his mother therefore you do not have to clean him. Also, this is the way it is done in this house! Just remember to be kind. * Slightly different: When I broke my last glass bottle at the age of 18 months, my mother told me that the other bottles in May's Chemist were for little babies, implying: No more bottles for you! And I was fine. (07/04/2006) By Carol Churchill RE: Potty Training Advice I tried everything, and i mean EVERYTHING to potty train my son. he was even turned down for preschool because he was still in pull ups. i broke down asked my sons pediatrician what to do. he told me to leave him alone, he'll go when he's ready. he said theres absolutly nothing that will make him use the potty until hes ready to use it. so i did. i quit fighting with him, and just left him alone about it. i bet it wasn't 2 weeks later i heard him on the potty, declaring himself potty trained, and he has been since. at that age, that is about the only thing they have complete control of, wether to use the potty or not. we make all the other decisions for them, so when its time, they'll decide and let you know. (07/04/2006) By halloweenfreak RE: Potty Training Advice We were foster parents and had to take lots of classes, and I do mean lots!!! We were told that kido's think there loosing parts of them and are afraid to use a potty or toilet. We were told to make a game of it, like if there peeing , sing a song of Oh, I hear it raining or thundering when there pooping. Also, as someone else said , for a little boy put things in the potty that he cane aim at. It does work, but, it's time consuming cause YOU have to stay on top of everything. Good Luck (07/10/2006) By Megan's mom RE: Potty Training Advice Potty training can be difficult regardless of the home situation of a child BUT I would say that could be part of the problem with your nephew. Instead of letting him roam bare, I suggest some really "cool" BIG BOY underwear. Make a big deal about, and let him help pick them out. Maybe part of the reason he is being so stubborn is because he is looking for attention, regardless of what kind. Children do that when they feel neglected or ignored. I would say lots of POSTIVE reinforcement. My son was really tough to potty train but the "cool" underwear really made a HUGE difference. He hated to mess up his BIG BOY undies. Remember patience and love goes a LONG way. (07/11/2006) By buffalogal95 RE: Potty Training Advice You noticed that he chooses not to go, so now what you have to find out is how to make him choose the potty. Punishments aren't going to do it - how likely are you to do something for someone if they're yelling at you, berating you, or doing things you don't like? You've got to remember that at his age the potty training is really to make your life easier - going in a diaper is easier for him - so you have to give him a reason to want to do this. Especially if he's from a home that wasn't most stable, praise and attention will help a lot. Talk to him about why he should use the potty (cleanliness, he'll be a big boy, you'll be proud of him, etc.) teach him how to use it, and then step back and let him do his own thing. Bring it up occasionally by mentioning how you think he's smart enough and big enough to do it and then ask him if he'd like to try. Once he realizes that there's no pressure, that he'll get lots of praise if he does it, and that you're not going to flip out on him if he doesn't, then he'll be confident enough to do it and he won't feel the need to rebel against you. (07/11/2006) By Trix Fun Tips for Potty Training with NO Sweets Needed! I have 2 kids under the age of 7, one who loved potty training and another who loved to be stubborn though potty training. Here are some ideas I used with various rewards that did not use sweets: First I bought a cheap little gum ball machine (Wal-mart, Walgreens, and even the Dollar Store often has these). You can fill it with something like Kix cereal or small Cheerios (if you DO choose candy, Smarties are a less sugary option that fits). My kids always loved using the gum ball machines to receive their reward! I used 2 small machines with two different choices of cereal so they could choose what they wanted each time. Second, I allowed them to pick out some stickers at the store. I bought a piece of medium sized, bright colored poster board and made a chart with their name on top. They got to put a sticker on the chart each time. They would fill the chart to work towards a goal that they would choose. If it is a toy that they choose, or being taken somewhere like the zoo or Chuck E Cheese, it might help to have a small picture of the item or place taped to the end of the chart to remind them of what they are working so hard for. A prize basket works great too! No candy needed (but bite sized candy bars and M&M packets may be fine for some parents too!) Go to the section of the store where you can find party favors. They often have lots of packages of small toys with the latest cartoon trend on them, and they are also cheap! Small cars for boys and lip balms or cute hair clips for girls are fun. If you like the idea of allowing them to receive stickers to stick all over the toilet but don't want to have to scratch them off later, choosing window adhesives are a great idea for sticking to the toilet, shower door or mirror! Individual adhesives are also a fun choice to put inside the prize basket. Wrapping the prizes allows them to get more excited. Not knowing what they may find in there will make them want to use the potty more, simply to discover the treasures in that basket! If you want to add fun without rewards there are still ways to do it: I, too, use multi colored Cheerios for my son to aim at (he likes to pick the color he wants to throw in). Letting them pick out their new underwear can be an exciting thing to them, (or even new sheets for their bed) and they will be more likely to want to keep them clean if they chose them and like them. A fun step stool is great, either with a recognizable character on it or with stickers all over it (window adhesives come in handy here too to decorate the toilet seat). Last but not least, my kids LOVED singing about it! We made up lyrics to sing that worked great for us. The verses sound like "This is the way we wash our clothes": "This is the way we potty train, potty train, potty train! This is the way we potty train so we can be a big boy/girl! This is the way that we go pee, we go pee, we go pee. This is the way that we go pee in the potty chair! This is the way we wipe ourself, wipe ourself wipe ourself. This is the way we wipe ourself so we can be nice and clean! This is the way we wash our hands, wash our hands, wash our hands. This is the way we wash our hands after we go potty! I dry my hands off really good, really good, really good. I dry my hands off really good ... AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY!!!" I hope these ideas work for some of you!!! Good luck! (05/21/2007) By Joelle Report Spam or Abuse Request: Potty Training Advice Post by lewis_admin (1319) | (04/26/2005) Profile | Blog! | Contact My grandson just turned 3. He is a smart child, but he refuses to use the toilet. He tells me that he is a baby and doesn't have to use the toilet. Can anyone gives his mother and I some ideas on how to get him to use it. Thank you, Barbara Answers: Ask 04/26/2005 My son totally refused to use it until he turned 3. He told me all along he would use when he was 3 years old. On his third birthday I reminded him of that fact and he has used ever since. You might ask son and grandson when he thinks he needs to start using the potty. I was assured from the Child Development Center he goes to this was not unusual and they were right. Be patient! He will use when ready. By K. Thomas Pediatrician Advice 04/26/2005 My son was four years old when he was fully potty trained. I tried when he was two, then again when he was three. I finally gave up and asked the Pediatrician what to do, and he recommended talking to him and telling him how his skin could become irritated from the urine, and how unhealthy it was to sit in a wet diaper. And believe it or not, it actually worked. Right after we told him that, he ripped his diaper off,,and was fully potty trained since. It may not work for everybody, but it worked for us. By Tammymarie A Reward Bowl 04/26/2005 My baby is now 27 years old and let me tell you... This child would as the old saying goes... Cut his nose off to spite his face. Talk about stubborn! He was not going to be potty trained no matter what I or his Father said or did. Thankfully I came across an article right at that time in Parents Magazine with the perfect solution. A Reward Bowl... the article said to have a bowl of rewards... little candies, suckers, stickers, inexpensive toys, colored pencils, crayons... whatever you think would appeal to your child as a reward and not cost a fortune. Well let me just say... I showed him the reward bowl and said when you use the potty like a big boy you may have one of whatever you want from this bowl... If you potty your pants like a baby you do not get anything from your bowl. He immediately went in and used the bathroom, washed his hands and came out and picked his reward... about 30 minutes later he came to me and said... I went to the bathroom MaMa... I asked did you go in the potty like a big boy... He looked down and said No. I told him You only get something from the bowl when you use the potty like a big boy. From that point on (less then a month) he was potty trained. No arguments, no stress. It worked beautifully. After about 2 weeks I stopped offering the bowl after he pottied and he began to remind me and ask for his reward. Within that 3rd week he forgot about it... But the best part was he was completely toilet trained. Mom was not stressed... My son was not stressed and I had a very stubborn 3 year old child completely potty trained in less than a month. What an easy solution to a difficult problem. I also utilized this reward system with him throughout his growing up years... rather then negative attention he looked forward to positive attention. That 27 year old stubborn child is now in his 3rd year of university working towards a medical degree. Stubborn children need special handling... because that stubbornness is a gift in disguise when they become adults. Once you get that stubbornness directed... they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. I hope this is helpful to you. It was definitely the solution for myself and my stubborn gifted child.(b)(/b)(i)(/i) By Rona Olson My Little Boy 04/26/2005 At that age my son was also refusing to use the toilet. I was so frustrated since I KNEW he could do it, but he kept telling me "no, I'm not a big boy". Then one day it was like a light bulb popped on in my head - HE WAS MY LITTLE BOY! Keyword there - LITTLE! I took a few minutes to tell him that he would still be my little boy and that I would still snuggle with him and treat him the same, he just would wear underwear like his brother and sister and use the potty. Believe it or not, he fully potty trained within 3 days - day and night time! Trust me, this was a child who adored his pull-ups and wanted NOTHING to do with undies a few days earlier. Give it a try - he may not want to 'grow up' yet and be afraid that he won't still be your baby boy :) No matter how things go, don't push to hard or he'll just refuse the toilet even more! By trill22 Big Boy Underwear 04/27/2005 To encourage my grandson to give up diapers I bought Bob the Builder and Scooby Doo underwear, and told they were BIG BOY underwear and he didn't want to mess them up. Matter of fact I still have them at my house. Moms, PATIENCE and ENCOURAGEMENT works, FUSSING doesn't. I worked with kids at Head start and believe me if you want positive results PRAISE them for their accomplishments. By MamawKC Don't Equate Potty Training With Intelligence 04/27/2005 My son became potty trained at the age of 3 years and a few months after a good bout of diarrhea helped him to figure out where his muscles were and what urges felt like. Nothing I did before then helped. He wasn't being stubborn, his body/brain just didn't get the message. He graduated in the top 3% of his high school class amidst plenty of competition, so don't equate potty training with intelligence. By cookwie A Reward Chart 04/27/2005 You may want to to put up a reward chart and every time he uses the potty put a star or some sort of sticker on it. Tell him after is receives x amount of stars that he will be rewarded by picking out a new toy, etc. Another thing that worked like a charm with my children was to have them watch "It's Potty Time "video for two weeks once a day. He will be going in no time! By Mrs. Clean The Last Diaper 04/27/2005 My "baby" still just dies when I tell this story... and she's now 29 with a baby of her own. When my daughter was about 3 1/2, she was wearing training pants during her waking hours and a diaper during her naps and at bedtime. I don't know how, but that little thing would hold it till those times! When she didn't, she would mop up her puddle, put her panties in the hamper and put a clean pair on! Well, one nap time she woke up with an absolutely DISGUSTING diaper, and I very calmly told her that I had changed all of the diapers I cared to, and the she was welcome to continue to wear them but she would have to change herself from now on. And I stuck to it! After about 15 long minutes of her being heartbroken, I caved in and told her that this was the very last one I would change. She didn't even wear a diaper to bed that night. She was really potty trained with almost no accidents after that. The thing is to really mean it and stick to it. I guarantee that they will only choose to change themselves once or twice. By Margie Minard My Wanted To Be The Baby 04/27/2005 When I had my daughter, my son was 3. He wanted to be a baby, so I let him. He got a bottle and a diaper and had to stay in the crib with a rattle to play with. Didn't last long. That staying in the crib is no fun. Diapers don't feel good after pants. By siris Be Like Dad 04/27/2005 He has to know you don't think of him as a baby anymore - it's partly how he controls you. It's a way he can control you, because he has figure out already mommies like having babies and being needed by them. And he has enjoyed being 'cute' when he was a baby, because he was. I would begin by reassuring him that, even when he's a daddy, he'll always be so special to you that he'll always be your "baby". But that real babies are different. Begin to say, when with a real baby "Oh, look at that BABY! See how little he is and how big you are. He's going to want to be big, too ... just like you." And compare hand sizes, feet, stature. Hold up baby clothes to your grandson. Permit him to see the difference. Remind him that babies don't get to eat ice cream, or have a popsicle or cookie, or go to the park and play. Diapers are very good at keeping the discomfort of being wet away from the children. He probably doesn't have a 'reason' not to use his diaper. Help him by putting him in cloth diapers or training pants - or big boy pants. He'll soon be able to associate the feeling of having to 'go' with the uncomfortable feeling of wet or soiled clothing. Let him go to the bathroom with his dad - most boys want to be like their dad, and he'll get the idea. Leave chocolate chips in a special container that can be reached when he uses the toilet. Let him have one chocolate chip when he successfully uses the toilet. Finally, when you take him to the toilet try putting (just) one cheerio in the toilet and make a game of letting him try to "sink the boat." When my grandson was about that age he refused to use the toilet to defecate. He thought it was funny for grandma to clean him up -- and also it let him get up from his nap time because he always did it during his nap time then needed changed. Finally Grandma told him, "I know you are a big boy and can use the toilet to poop if you want to. You know it too. So, the next time you poop in your pants you will clean yourself up." In less than 15 minutes he soiled himself and called to get out of bed because he needed changed. I didn't make a fuss, didn't scold and didn't holler. I just said, "Okay". Took him to the bathroom as usual. Had him take his OWN pants off, dump it in the toilet, then clean himself with toilet paper. He didn't like it and said it was icky and too hard. I didn't give in, reminded him what the rule was, and stood by to help him figure out how. He had to do a good enough job that I could easily wash him with a cloth after he was finished. He never soiled himself again. By little me Day Time Ideas 04/27/2005 I'm almost finished with daytime potty training of my 3rd and last child. It's a time consuming and sometimes frustrating process. 1st pick a week (a whole week) where you aren't going to be going out a lot. Put the child in 5 ply underwear (training pants) and DON'T fall back on diapers or pull ups except for sleeping times. I have a container of M&Ms in the bathroom for reward. 2 for pee-pee, 3 for poo-poo, or gummies or whatever he likes. Encourage him to go, reward him when he does, really make a big deal out of it. We call them potty parties. We clap & yell & give out the M&Ms. My older children are BIG helps w/ the encouragement so they get M&Ms for being potty helpers. Don't make a big deal when he wets his pants, just make him take off the wet clothes, take them to the laundry area, put more on, etc. The potty parties will eventually go away. After they get the potty process down & start going without prompting, they start forgetting about the M&Ms. Also, if he tries to trick you saying he went pee pee just to get an M&M, cut up small squares of colored tissue paper to place in the bottom of the potty chair. You can quickly tell if he went or not. Good luck! Now! Does anyone have any advice for nighttime potty training for me? My middle child is making NO progress. Wets the bed almost every night. The only time she stays dry is if I get up & take her at 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 (yawn, yawn) and sometimes even that doesn't work. She'll sleep in it & it doesn't even phase her; I'm not even sure if it wakes her up anymore. Nancy By nancyec Stickers 04/27/2005 My daughter was a challenge. She finally cooperated when I bought stickers and let her decorate her potty. Since she had to earn these stickers, she was always willing to use her potty. My son was very easy, I didn't need to bribe him, but I did have to wake him to use the toilet before I went to bed or he would have an accident. By mkymlp Animal Crackers 04/28/2005 I was a nanny for a toddler that I and his parents finally got trained around age 3 or so. He was so scared of germs. Anyway, instead of cheerios I used fruit loops for the color or the animal shaped cheese crackers for him to sink. I told him to "go get the shark"! It eventually worked - I also made charts and bought little trinkets at stores that when he went so many times in a specific period - 1/2 day, couple days, week - you can decide as you go along he received. Children all vary and it is best to let them go at their own pace - remember the grow up so fast! My "little guy" is now a teenager!....lol By bearlover A Control Issue 04/28/2005 It sounds like this little boy has made a conscious decision. It's a control issue. He wants to be a baby? Fine! Let him be a baby, which means losing his "big boy" privileges. Put up his "big boy" toys, roll back his bed time, suspend outings to places where "Babies don't go"... DON'T cave in. Babies don't have as much fun as big boys. Allow him to choose to be a 'big boy', and then reward him accordingly. By Guest The Benefits of Being a Big Boy 04/28/2005 Children get tired of everyone controlling them and telling them no, so by age 3, they can be rebellious. A child can only potty train when they are mentally and physically ready. It cannot be when a parent decides it's time. They need to be showing signs of readiness. By age 3, you should see some signs shortly, if not already. You have to make them think it is their choice to use the potty when they are ready. Tell them the benefits of being a big boy (wearing big boy underwear, getting a candy every time you use the potty, using the big boy potty at Walmart instead of laying on the changing table like a baby), and pick out a toy you think he would like and tell him he can have it after a week of being a big boy and using the potty. Rewards work wonderfully, but the timing has to be right. Boys tend to potty train closer to age 3. Remember not to punish for accidents; make no big deal about it. Make huge deals about going in the potty. Tell everyone in front of the little one and make him feel so proud! Good luck! By suzi homemaker Big Boy Underwear 04/28/2005 Reading all these stories of kids that are now grown up brings a tear to my eyes. I have a 17, 16 and 3 yr. old. They grow up so fast! My suggestion for potty training: now is the perfect time with summer coming. Commit yourself to staying home for a few days. Put him in "big boy" underwear and a t-shirt and let him go. After a few times of peeing down his leg he won't like it. This works best if you can spend a lot of time outside. I also agree to let him know he'll always be your little boy but can still do big boy things too. I would not recommend the reward bowl because it might contribute to childhood obesity and unhealthy eating habits. Sorry, I'm sure it works but I am a nurse, and that is how bad habits get started. TC in MO By TC in MO Praise 04/28/2005 One of the best tips I had was to let children proceed at their own pace. I have twins who will turn 4 this summer. To begin with, we went and let them pick out their own underwear. Then we went to the potty every hour. My daughter got it really fast and was trained by 2 1/2. However, even though he wanted to use the potty my son was unable to make him self go when he tried. I didn't push him and when he was almost three, he was instantly potty trained. Give your grandson the time and the choice to do this. Reward him with clapping and praise when he does use the potty. It often takes boys longer to get everything working. By Jen Be Patient 04/28/2005 My Daughter wet the bed until she was 10 or older. We tried everything including nose drops prescribed to be used before bedtime and nothing. This was not only discouraging to her but a lot of work on me. An older friend told me her girl did the same and a doctor told her that when she reached puberty it would clear itself up. And sure enough it did. We can't really RUSH nature. Some children are just not physically ready to be trained when we feel we're ready for a break! Be patient. By MamawKC Aim for the Cheerio 04/28/2005 When my grandson was ready to be potty trained his pediatrician gave us a couple of tips that worked for us. The first one is put either Cheerios or Fruit Loops in the toilet & tell him to aim for them. If he hits them then you can offer some type of reward. Another tip is to keep a small dish or individual packages of M&M's, Skittles or any other goodies that he really likes & reward him with these every time he uses the potty. They worked for us, hope they work for you too. Good Luck By Diane toy Rewards 04/29/2005 My youngest was difficult. I ended up going to the dollar store and getting cheap little toys to wrap. I also got 2 small containers. I wrapped cars, a mini candy bar, stuff like that. If he went pee he got to unwrap one. If he had a bm he got to unwrap two. If he stayed clean all day he got to pick from the second bucket that had larger "prizes" This was the only thing that worked with him. By cheryl Toilet Training In Less Than A Day 04/29/2005 Buy or check out from the library a book called Toilet Training In Less Than A Day. In our family the technique worked for kids over 3 who were truly old enough to control themselves. I can't recommend it highly enough! By KT Report Spam or Abuse