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My daughter is 21 months old and I have started to potty train her. I started when she was 19 months, because she was always taking off her diaper or wanting to sit on the potty. Since I have started she has peed in her potty 4-5 times and has pooped in it many times. And sometimes she comes up to me saying mommy I have to go potty.
Even though she does these things she doesn't tell me she has to go pee until she has already gone, and sometimes she cries that she doesn't want to get on her potty. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing her, but I also don't want to wait too long since she is showing signs that she is ready. What do I do?
By NyLah's_Mommy from Springfield, IL
Are you using the diaper panties or regular little girl panties? If you use the regular nylon panties like older children and adults wear, let her feel them how nice they are and let her see what you wear. If she goes in them she is not going to like how it feels do this will work good. This is how I trained my children as they didn't have the diaper panties then. It will work.
I know just what you mean-if she feels forced she may stop letting you know when she needs the potty.
When mine (girl now 35 and son 30, I'm amazed I remember this!) were going through it, if they started to show signs they needed the potty but protested against sitting down, I asked them to sit for just two minutes and put an hourglass egg timer they could watch in there. They were so enthralled with the hourglass sand running down that they willingly sat.
At the end of the two minutes they could get up. Most of the time they didn't need the whole two minutes:)
However, there were times the egg timer sand ran out without them using the potty and on top of that they didn't wet or soil their training pants. That's a huge signal something isn't right with a small child because whilst they can withhold elimination on the potty, they shouldn't be able to also withhold elimination in the training pants.
If your little one doesn't use the potty or her training pants on the same sort of schedule she has been, you need to figure out if she is getting enough fluids or is coming down with something, especially if she isn't urinating-that's an extremely serious signal that you need to have her checked by the doctor!
Just a reminder, if you use the hourglass egg timer, make sure it is a plastic one so that when they are curious and want to explore it they aren't in any danger from glass breaking.
My oldest daughter, now nearing 30, was a very prissy little lady. I potty broke her at a VERY young age. I did it by having a lady who sewed cute little girls panties make some for her. Bright colors, lots of lace.
I have a problem; my youngest child is 2 and will be starting preschool next year, but still uses her nappy. I have been told I have to potty train her before she can start. How do I do it? I have tried and she always goes everywhere else but in the toilet. Please help.
By mc4lifes from Sydney, NSW
What I do is ask them if they have to go potty, (unless they already went) if they say no they still probably do. So I bring them to the bathroom and close the door with myself inside and the 2 year old and tell her she can't go unless she goes potty.
Are you sure she's ready? Some children aren't ready for potty training till they're a bit older. Potty training is a big step for them physically and mentally. If she isn't starting pre-school till next year I wouldn't rush it. If she gets stressed it might make the job all that much harder.
I am trying to potty train my son who is 2 and is showing signs that he's ready for potty training. He doesn't like going in his diaper any more, he wears underwear now. I put him on the potty every half hour, but he will go into another room and take off his pants and go to the bathroom on the floor. I have tried so many things to get him to stop doing it. I don't know what else to do. Please help.
Here's one idea, a tip I posted several years back: We'd do the "Potty Dance" together...
But, we had to wait until my granddaughter was 3 (not all kids are ready at 2 or 2 1/2). You'll know if it's too early to start if your child starts "holding it" for long periods. If this happens, stop the potty training & wait for 3 to 6 months until he's ready.
When you go, have him watch you or his daddy pee. It was my 10 year old daughter that taught my 2 1/2 year old son to use the potty. He saw her & wanted to "go" too! This should be a fun thing to him, if it's not, then he's likely not ready. In fact once I tried to start potty training my daughter & found that she would hold it all day long while I was at work. So when this happened 2 days in a row, I realized it was best for me to stop the potty training & start up again 6 months later when she was ready.
If I were you, I'd put "pull-ups" on him & watch him like a hawk! Once he sees that he'll get a treat (like a piece of candy, or whatever) for going in the toilet, then he'll want to do it over & over again!
But until then, you'll have to really keep your eye on him so he can't "sneak off".
One idea would be to spend one whole day giving him lots & lots of his favorite drink (like juice mixed half & half with water) & spend this day always at his side, watching where he is & what he's doing every second, & keep him very well hydrated so he has to pee, but don't let him out of your site. Then once he actually does go in his little potty chain, then give him a reward & do a fun dance & give him much praise & he'll want to repeat it!
He does have a little potty chair doesn't he? Because many kids are afraid of the big potty & all the noise it makes (even if it has a little seat on top of it) so he needs a little potty chair if he doesn't already have one.
Make it a game - float 1 square of toliet paper in the bowl and have him take "target practice" and hit the paper. It helps develop aim and it makes it fun.
If he pulling his pants off and going in the house he's not ready. Give it a little more time. If he's sleeping at night or a nap and he wakes up dry. That is a sign he's ready Bribing works well and is a useful tool. Spend a weekend just to potty train and of watch him at all times. Give lots of liquids.
There will be some accidents but just call it an accident and don't get upset about it. In the end talking constantly about going to the potty and giving some treats will also help. Good luck
Having potty trained many kids, just try to remember that it is a process, with progress and setbacks like anything. Always praise, never punish. Its ok to express a little exasperation at clean up time, but not to shame the little one...after all, diapers are a life long habit, and having your diaper changed is sort of nice (affection, attention, etc.) so remember to hug and reward with affection and pride. And when those setbacks occur, just rember they will eventually get it...I've never met a teenager who wasn't potty trained. Hope it helps.
For going in places he is not supposed to....involve him in clean up. Bring his potty chair to the scene of the accident, and put the contents into the potty chair in front of him. Tell him, "Whoops, you got the poo/pee in the wrong place, lets put it in the right place." Then take him with you to the bathroom and let him see you empty. Some kids really like to flush, and foamy soap in colors is a fun reward when its time to wash hands afterwards. Showing kids what you expect really helps them, especially when you treat the mistakes kindly. Also, offer to turn your back for privacy...some kids are sensitive about 'performing'.
Potty chair, needs to remain in the bathroom to teach there is only 1 place to use it.
Tell him the diaper goes back on if he is not ready for big boy pants. Your house is not the toilet. All potty activity needs to be in the bathroom.
My granddaughters potty chair sat across from the toilet. We attached a mirror to the towel stand so as they sat on it, they could see the one using the potty. Would find them sitting on the potty to see themselves being big girls.
In my daycare, I would put underwear on in the afternoon after their nap. They played hard in the morning, too busy to remember the bathroom. Afternoons worked out great, it was shorter time before parents came, more successful fresh from sleep. I would have a problem here and there, I would use the clip on kitchen timer set for 15 minutes and the child would need to head for the bathroom to try, reset the timer, redo the whole activity. I had one neighbor who did daycare whose own child 'could not get it' so she put her in my daycare for a couple days, it worked. Not harping, just consistent.
Bathroom procedure is fun too. They use the paper (I use the wipes after) and the get to help dump and flush to the big toilet. Climb the stool to the sink, use the liquid soap on their hands, turn the water off, wipe with paper towels. My youngest granddaughter had a problem with public toilets that auto flushed. Even yet at 4 she asks if it is a flusher. Adult needs to stand in front of the sensor to keep it from flushing. Have the child sit straight on, not on the side of the toilet, or it will flush. When done, whisk them off and turn around with them to finish up redressing them.
My kids were all boys and the first one night trained by 15 months. You take the kids to the toilet regularly to establish a pattern and good hygiene technique. Making it a game with food, treats, etc means everyone who helps the child has to play the game. Don't do that.
For the mom who's 2 year old refuses to use the potty, put pretty pants over her diaper. Put pretty pants on her stuffed bears, etc. Then tell her pretty pants must be worn without the diaper, the bear does not have an accident and gets to keep the pretty pants. My kids' stuffed animals wore alot of underwear. The child has to want to make the change.
Don't threaten, don't make promises that can't be kept immediately. My kids got to call their aunt in town every time they had a successful bathroom trip. Make it a walk or play with them in the yard as reward. Make rewards realistic.
My brother's family had a tough time with their son. He finally turned the corner by peeing in an empty coffee can. Candy is really helpful too! Lots of praise and positive reinforcement.
I have 2 grandsons and my daughter has potty trained them both. Her method was to make it FUN and then give a treat or prize when they accomplish a pee pee or a bowel movement. She used cherrios or froot loops in the toilet and told them to aim and sink them, they she would reward them afterwards. It took awhile but it worked beautifully. She also bought them "Big Boy" underwear ie: batman, Superman, Cars...etc. If they went in the potty they got to wear them and show them off because they were big boys now. Good Luck
I would put diapers on your son, duck tape them if you need to so that you control where he takes them off to go. You need to control the situation. I would not bribe him with food or toys but with wearing "big boys" pants. He needs to be rewarded with something he values like watching a video or playing on the swing etc. when he does use the toilet. Good luck.
There is a really simple way to make kids feel "safe" on a toilet that works well, especially if you are in a place with no potty chair.
Put him on the toilet backwards and give him a book or a little car to play with on the tank top. It keeps them busy and sometimes they don't even realize that they have used the toilet.
This method makes them feel safe because they can lean against the toilet seat cover & tank and it is much easier for them to climb onto the toilet without help.
The big boy pants are a good idea too!
I have a 2 year old boy who does not go in his pants all night or at nap time or most days. But there are days where he goes in his pants every time that he needs to go to the bathroom. What can I do to stop him from doing this?
stayathomemomof2 from Muscoda, WI
Like many people I used the sticker chart when I toilet trained my 3 kids. I let them choose the stickers and put the chart in their bedrooms. Don't punish if your child doesn't get it right every time. Simply say "oh dear", take them to the toilet - if they sit they sit, if not don't force and then get them to help clean up the mess. I found the best way to get my son who is 6 toilet trained was to let him see us adults using the toilet and then asking him to try. He was really taken with the children's toilets at our local shopping centre that had a big person and small person toilet next to each other.
My mum suggested putting them on the toilet and sitting their talking and or reading for about 5 minutes - if something happened well good. I also waited until the summer months and let them run around with no nappy on, but you need to have a week or two when you are going to be home. I do make my kids go to the toilet before we leave home to go out and again before we leave somewhere to come home.
I never used a potty - grandma bought a padded toilet seat and a small step stool. I know it's annoying and frustrating but training can take time and the more you stress - particularly if you have a stubborn child - the worse it will be. I have bought a bed wetting alarm for my son, as he is such a sound sleeper that he just didn't wake up.
After 6 weeks of use - he is dry - I have kept the alarm in case he has a relapse or a cold and we need to do some more training. I also explained to mine that what they eat go used by the body and what was left over came out the other end (the dog proved to be a good teaching tool). I explained that it was natural and everyone did it. The poor dog was observed at great length eating and then pooing. He was observed so much that he got used to having an audience when he pooed that when the fascination wore off and no one watch him - he would come and scratch at the door to get someone to come and watch him. - he's a mad kelpie.
I do remind my kids to go the loo, but when they were little and we did have the odd accident in the shopping centre - I used to carry a small back pack with a spare change of clothes, plastic bag and wipes for a quick clean up. I used to say "oh well" and tried to stay calm. Even now I keep a back pack in the car with a spare set of clothes for each kid.
Do check with your doctor if you think there is something wrong, but don't punish, don't leave kids sitting in wet clothes or knickers. Sitting in wet clothes in not good for their health and can make matters worse as they can panic. Also kids can't hold it - give them plenty of chances to go to the loo - when my 4 year wet her pants at local shop after asking to go to the loo, I was standing in line to pay for something - I ticked her off and got very angry with her. When we meet grandma for lunch - I was in a mad mood and I had a grumpy 4 year old.
Grandma gave my daughter a huge hug and said these things happen. She then asked me what a happened. My mum has bowel and bladder problems herself , so she knows that when she has to go, she has to go. She reminded me of this and that kids only have small bladders. I know that this is not always possible but I do get my kids to go to the loo if I know that we are going to be away for awhile, especially my 6 year old who sometimes gets so focussed on what he is doing, he isn't aware until he really needs to go.
Also give kids reminders. My son knows that after lunch he needs to go to the toilet, as he can't get through the afternoon at school. He has had several accidents - when the teacher has told him to put his hand down. He carries a spare set of clothes in his bag and some wipes, he knows to go to a cubicle in the boys toilets, change, put the wet clothes in the plastic bag and put them in his bag. Since getting him to go at lunchtime - we have had no more problems.
I am so desperate! My 2yr old does not want to potty train. She continues to go in her pull ups. I tell her to tell mommy when she has to pee or poo, but she will not tell me. She says any and everything else accept for "mommy I have to pee/poo". I need help. She's in daycare, but in July she will be enrolled to another school then in September she'll be 3 and starting pre-k. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions, because everyone else I speak to say's she'll go when she's ready to go, but I would love for her to go now. Help potty training momma. :(
By Shuquin S.
My daughter will be three on June 9th and she's not potty trained yet. She has peed a couple times and then that was it. Now she says she's scared of it; now what do I do?
By Kristi from Birdsboro, PA
I need help potty training my daughter who is 3. She is my only baby and I have not a clue! Thank you for your help.
By mary from Dallas, TX
The way I did it with mine (28, 25), may not be the current method, but here's what I did. Begin by taking them to the bathroom frequently, but doing nothing. Explain what to do. Show them what you do (keep your clothes on if you want). Talk about the potty, the changes which will happen, etc. Emphasize that this is "big girl" stuff she needs to start to do. Do that a couple of days. Then start taking her regularly and begin the undressing, potty-sitting training. Get a child's potty chair by the way, it's a lot easier. (Let her help you pick it out, that's a good way to get this started, also.)
The hard part of this is: you must take them a half to a dozen times a day, every day, 7 days a week until they begin to get it and you must not get frustrated or angry or scold the child ever. Eventually they will get it. They frequently will go to the rest room, and then wet after they leave it, which is just a part of the process. They are not trying to get back at you or drive you crazy...let them run around partly in "big girl underwear" (get the thicker trainer kind, in my opinion, more absorbent for small accidents), but do not make it hard on yourself by taking them out in public in them, go ahead with the trainer pants or diaper until they are completely trained. Otherwise, you will just give yourself unnecessary headaches.
Expect that there will be slip-ups even after they are trained (kids can do this even up to age 6 or 7). They may have accidents when they have waited too long to go, are tired, anxious, are not feeling well, etc. They may wet the bed even after they are day trained, so prepare for that by not infusing them with a lot of drinks or water late in the day and do not scold them for this. If they wet the bed, then just keep a plastic cover on the mattress and change the sheets, and factor that into away from home situations. Also (of course if this goes on a very long time you might want to talk with your doctor about it). Praise them excessively for all good efforts and results, but don't scold them EVER. Girls are easier to train than boys, in my experience. They seem to latch on it quicker. (I am from Dallas too, fellow Dallasite :).
Put her potty next to yours, demonstrate, and be as casual as you can about it. If you push her, she will probably just rebel. Just show her, encourage her, and then act as if nothing has happened if she does not. But when she does go on her own, that is such a big deal! Party time! My daughter was so stubborn and she was my first, I was afraid she would never learn. Finally she would pee in it, but no poopies, ugh. I finally just left her alone, pretended to forget all about it, forget my worries that she would be in kindergarten in diapers! I just let it go, and sure enough, a couple days later she did it on her own. Had to come show everyone in the house and we had company! yikes! But we got through it and she never even wet the bed after that. Same with my boy, I just let him be , and he found his own time and way, pressure free. He also never wet the bed. I always kept them as comfy as possible, the breathable cloth like pull ups, and then getting real big kids undies was a huge trip to the store to celebrate!
Good luck, she will learn this, she will be fine. Just show her and let her go!
Why would my potty trained 2 year old start peeing in bed?
By carol odonnell from Chicago
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My two year old daughter was going potty in the toilet really well. But recently she refuses to use the potty and poops and pees on the floor. What do I do? I praise her when she goes potty on the toilet, but it is not working. Help!
By Amanda from Montrose, CO
Actually this is very normal. If she is a young 2, she may be too young. Some children don't have control of their sphincter muscles until they are 3 or sometimes even closer to 4. A growth spurt that isn't even throughout their body can cause them to temporarily lose control. Other factors, such as being around a newborn or a new puppy who gets attention when they have an accident or diaper change can also cause this. Just put her back into diapers for awhile and then start it again in a few months. (01/20/2011)
I think this is normal. Both my girls started peeing their pants after being fully potty trained. Not sure if this issue is a boundary issue, but usually after a short while of sitting in their urine soaked clothes they decide to use the toilet on their own again.
If your daughter really was potty trained before, I would not put her back in diapers as you will have to start the potty training process over again from the beginning.
Good luck and be patient. (01/21/2011)
I have found in raising 7 children of my own and doing daycare for 24 years that 2 is really young for them to be successful. Sometimes they are excited because you are, but they lose interest very quickly or get scared when you are disappointed in them. I usually start when they can wake up from their nap dry, usually 2 1/2 to 3. This indicates that they are beginning to have the muscle development that they need to control the urine flow.
You have two choices. Keep her in pullups and continue to work with her by taking her every hour to hour and a half. I give one small marshmallow every time they are successful peeing and 2 if they have a bowel movement. Or you can put her back in diapers and wait 6 months or so and try again. Don't worry about it either way. The main thing is to be patient and loving. Praise the success and clean up the failures without too much fanfare. Above all, do not punish a small child for accidents. This can cause them to withhold going and cause infections and constipation. Be patient with yourself as well. I know how frustrating it can be. Just remember everyone figures it out by the time they get to college. (01/23/2011)
Have you tried a potty reward chart? My 2 year old was doing so good then she all of a sudden stopped trying. I went to the dollar store and bought the stuff to make a chart. I bought horse stickers because she loves horses and I bought a bunch of cheap prizes she would like for under $2. She loves it. When she goes to the potty I let her choose the sticker she wants and she puts it on the chart. We just taped it to the back of the bathroom door. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. You have to set your goal. Ours is 5 days without an accident, and she gets to choose a prize out of the bag. I figure $2 a week for pottying is not bad. If she has an accident we just remove a sticker. You can do it. It takes time. (01/30/2011)
I need potty training ideas for an almost 3 year old little girl. She lets me know when she needs to have a BM in the potty, but will not let me know when she needs to pee. She has no problem going in her diaper, and if I take off her diaper and just put underwear or pants on her she just goes and doesn't care about her wet pants. I don't want my furniture to smell like pee. Any suggestions? We give her one smartie piece for each pee and an animal cracker for each BM. Thanks!
Thriftymomof2 from Pasadena, MD
Before anything else, I'd take her to a Dr. to rule out any physical health causes, i.e. bladder infection, or weak bladder. In some children, their bladder muscles take longer to strengthen, boys especially. But it's not uncommon for little girls to get bladder infections, making it hard to control their urine output.
My niece was prone to this, but there are certain measures to take to lessen the infections from recurring, one of which is to shorten bath-time, and refrain from using bubble-bath, but the Dr. can advise better, IF this is the cause. If no physical cause is found, at least the visit would ease your mind.
I totally disagree with the previous poster's idea about making your daughter wear wet pants all day. In my opinion, it is an unhealthy and cruel way to "teach a lesson." After ruling out any physical causes, maybe you could switch to "pull-ups" or another brand of absorbent underwear, and purchase some absorbent pads to put inside them. This would allow her to use the toilet, but when she urinates, changing the pad would cut down on the cost of the pull-ups, and protect your furniture, also.
My last suggestion is to switch your award system. I agree that an award system is good to use, but your daughter may need more incentive. Maybe make a colorful chart listing the days of the week in a column, lines across with spaces for her to fill the line in with bright smiley face stickers and let her place the stickers on after every time she goes potty on the toilet, whether it's a BM or a void. When she goes in her pants, she gets a sad face sticker. At the end of the day, if she has more "happys" than "sads," she gets an award (doesn't have to be a sugar treat or food)---maybe an extra bed time story or a sugar free snack, an inexpensive dollar store prize drawn from a bag, i.e. small book, tablet, crayons, whatever. Even a special activity, like "Play-doh" night, or baking cookies together, or a special movie or activity of her choice. (Homemade recipe for play-doh is under one of my posts on this site.)
This method offers both short term and long term goals for her, and one which I used for my own kids and my daycare kids years ago. Good luck! (04/29/2007)
When my dd was potty training, all the other incentives didn't work, I finally resorted to money. LOL. I had to give her pennies and nickels if she went potty, and it finally worked. Hope this helps. (04/30/2007)
Hi. I have 5 kids, each trained differently. Have you tried a rubber pant over undies? The thick trainers work best. It just keeps things safe for you while they learn. Some will make a lot more mistakes than others. You have to be patient. (04/30/2007)
By all means, rule out any physical problems with infection, etc. I remember having problems with our last child...she would hold it until nap time or bed time when we put her in a diaper, and then let loose! When she was about 3 1/2, I finally told her that she could wet and BM in her pants all she wanted, but she had to change herself. She never wore another diaper, even to bed. Of course it was way past time for her to be trained, which was my fault.
The point is...sooner or later, your daughter WILL be trained, don't worry. Now, her little son is being trained, and for a BM (his main problem, now) he gets 4 or 5 green olives. If he has an accident, he looks so disappointed in himself and says, "No Olliss" On the other hand, he takes his teddy bear to the potty, and Teddy is fully trained. He gets pretend olives. (04/30/2007)
By Margie Minard
Put her in her underpants, not pampers trainers, etc. Do not resort to diapers even at night. Do not make a big deal when she goes, just quickly have her remove her own wet pants, and put on clean ones. She will wet the bed the first few nights, but she should call you to help - giving her the sense that being dry feels good. If at the end of a week she is still not trained, she is not ready. Be prepared to stay home with her for the week. Anytime you put her back in diapers for ANYTHING you are back at square one.
The thing to remember is you do not get mad if she wets herself, you also at this point do not reward her for going in the potty, you certainly do not give a different reward for BM's (making them more important). Give lots of praise when she succeeds- even give praise when she removes the wet clothes herself. If you want to give her incentive try this. Buy a big present, it doesn't have to be expensive, but big helps. Wrap it elaborately and tell her that after one week of dry panties, she can have the gift. And then stick to it - you will not help if you cave. (06/05/2007)
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