I need help potty training my daughter who is 3. She is my only baby and I have not a clue! Thank you for your help.
By Mary from Dallas, TX
Also read the Archives at the bottom of this page.
The way I did it with mine (28, 25), may not be the current method, but here's what I did. Begin by taking them to the bathroom frequently, but doing nothing. Explain what to do. Show them what you do (keep your clothes on if you want). Talk about the potty, the changes which will happen, etc. Emphasize that this is "big girl" stuff she needs to start to do. Do that a couple of days. Then start taking her regularly and begin the undressing, potty-sitting training. Get a child's potty chair by the way, it's a lot easier. (Let her help you pick it out, that's a good way to get this started, also.)
The hard part of this is: you must take them a half to a dozen times a day, every day, 7 days a week until they begin to get it and you must not get frustrated or angry or scold the child ever. Eventually they will get it. They frequently will go to the rest room, and then wet after they leave it, which is just a part of the process. They are not trying to get back at you or drive you crazy...let them run around partly in "big girl underwear" (get the thicker trainer kind, in my opinion, more absorbent for small accidents), but do not make it hard on yourself by taking them out in public in them, go ahead with the trainer pants or diaper until they are completely trained. Otherwise, you will just give yourself unnecessary headaches.
Expect that there will be slip-ups even after they are trained (kids can do this even up to age 6 or 7). They may have accidents when they have waited too long to go, are tired, anxious, are not feeling well, etc. They may wet the bed even after they are day trained, so prepare for that by not infusing them with a lot of drinks or water late in the day and do not scold them for this. If they wet the bed, then just keep a plastic cover on the mattress and change the sheets, and factor that into away from home situations. Also (of course if this goes on a very long time you might want to talk with your doctor about it). Praise them excessively for all good efforts and results, but don't scold them EVER. Girls are easier to train than boys, in my experience. They seem to latch on it quicker. (I am from Dallas too, fellow Dallasite :).
Put her potty next to yours, demonstrate, and be as casual as you can about it. If you push her, she will probably just rebel. Just show her, encourage her, and then act as if nothing has happened if she does not. But when she does go on her own, that is such a big deal! Party time! My daughter was so stubborn and she was my first, I was afraid she would never learn. Finally she would pee in it, but no poopies, ugh. I finally just left her alone, pretended to forget all about it, forget my worries that she would be in kindergarten in diapers! I just let it go, and sure enough, a couple days later she did it on her own. Had to come show everyone in the house and we had company! yikes! But we got through it and she never even wet the bed after that. Same with my boy, I just let him be , and he found his own time and way, pressure free. He also never wet the bed. I always kept them as comfy as possible, the breathable cloth like pull ups, and then getting real big kids undies was a huge trip to the store to celebrate!
Good luck, she will learn this, she will be fine. Just show her and let her go!
The other moms are right, keep it positive, lots of praise for even sitting on the toilet. My daughter wanted to wear pretty panties. So I bought ruffled, pink, flowered underpants and told her when she didn't potty in her pants she could wear the new panties. Sometimes I think it's easier when there is an older sibling they can emulate. Some kids are just slower at this than others.
Add your voice! Click below to comment. ThriftyFun is powered by your wisdom!
I have twin 3 1/2 year old girls who are potty trained when it comes to "number 1." However, they will not go "number 2" on the potty. They are not potty trained for bedtime, so they wear diapers at naptime or bedtime. Even though my wife and I will have them sit on the potty to attempt "number 2," they will hold it in until a diaper goes on them for bedtime. As soon as the diaper goes on, they almost immediately go "number 2." Does anybody have any suggestions?
I think I read that they are going number one on the potty. Maybe they would sit longer on a potty chair rather than a toilet. Children at this age, sometimes can be afraid of a big toilet.
I would get them pull ups, or one of those briefs that are more like underwear. I might even try to let them go to bed in their underwear.
Either way, I would purchase a potty training video and have a bunch of treats that they get to have when they go number two in the potty.
If you have to, put the poo in the potty from the diaper and then wash them up and then take them into wherever the treats are and give them one.
I hope this helps, but either way , it is a situation that time will solve, I don't see them doing this when they are forty!
Here is a link on Ehow. It is a safe place to go...no pun intended.
Love and blessings,
It will just eventually happen I have trained seven kids so each one is different. They will just eventually start keep encouraging them. Try to catch them when you know they are starting to have a bowel movement, put them on the potty and praise them! You can try putting them on the potty every 30 minutes. Try to keep track of their bowel habits this will help you know when they might go. Good luck! Be patient.
Have you tried putting a step up stool at the toilet? Most people need to have their feet 'firmly on the ground' to successfully erm, deposit solid waste.
I promise you in another year they will go on the pot. The problem is you missed the "window" which should have been a year ago for starting the training. Their bodies will not let them go anywhere but in the diapers. As their bodies mature, and once they go a few times on the pot they will be fine.
I am so desperate! My 2yr old does not want to potty train. She continues to go in her pull ups. I tell her to tell mommy when she has to pee or poo, but she will not tell me. She says any and everything else accept for "mommy I have to pee/poo". I need help. She's in daycare, but in July she will be enrolled to another school then in September she'll be 3 and starting pre-k. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions, because everyone else I speak to say's she'll go when she's ready to go, but I would love for her to go now. Help potty training momma. :(
By Shuquin S.
Get rid of the pull ups. They think they are diapers, confusing. I had 6 children, we never used pullups. When they were two, they received panties for a birthday gift. No problems.
Get rid of the pull ups they think they are diapers confusing I had 6 children we never used pullups when they were two they received panties for a birthday gift no problems.
I read all the ideas and they sound great, but if they don't work, get the book, "Toilet Training your Child in Less Than a Day". Read the entire book before you start toilet training and do exactly as it says, then you will have a toilet trained toddler! Actually, my son took three days using this method. I hope this helps!
In addition to what Paula and Disks said, I also used a time clipped to the child's clothing. Set for every 15 minutes to use the BR. A couple successful times, move it to 20, etc. I did daycare when my kids were little and this was fantastic for potty training in a day or two. My neighbor sent her daughter to my daycare to get potty trained. She did daycare too and just did not have the patience for doing it.
When just starting out, play time was am, so diapers stayed on, after nap the panties went on. This was for the first couple weeks. Then all diapers off. I had both boys and girls and success in both. My own grandchildren were out of diapers by 20 months. My sons--by 18 months.
My daughter will be three on June 9th and she's not potty trained yet. She has peed a couple times and then that was it. Now she says she's scared of it; now what do I do?
By Kristi from Birdsboro, PA
Everyone is right she'll go when she's ready. I have 2 girls and when they were learning I would turn the water on in the sink and pour a little water down the front ot them to help coax them a little. My oldest one caught on real quick, my youngest one thought the water was fun and kept asking for" more mama more". She took a little longer but she caught on eventually.
I always started the potty training when the weather warms up and they can wear only training pants. Dont be concerned about her age. I started my daughter in the summer before she turned 4. I have trained several little ones and i have found that the closer they are to 4 the easier it is. One of my children would absolutely not do #2 in the potty. I had to put on a diaper. She eventually got over her fear. It is really easier on everyone to try when the weather warms up.
I wouldn't worry about it too much if she's only turning 3. Rather than put yourself (& her) through the stress, just let her be ready for it and it will happen before too long on its own.
At not even quite 3, I don't think you need to worry. The right time will come along. It will be less stressful for you (& her) if you just back off a while. My daughter daytime trained at 4 and still needed a pull up at night till she was 9. My son is special needs so he trained very late and still needs protection at night and he just turned 11! It will happen and I'll ya, trying to train kids when they aren't ready physically or mentally can be way too challenging.
I need potty training ideas for an almost 3 year old little girl. She lets me know when she needs to have a BM in the potty, but will not let me know when she needs to pee. She has no problem going in her diaper, and if I take off her diaper and just put underwear or pants on her she just goes and doesn't care about her wet pants. I don't want my furniture to smell like pee. Any suggestions? We give her one smartie piece for each pee and an animal cracker for each BM. Thanks!
Thriftymomof2 from Pasadena, MD
Before anything else, I'd take her to a Dr. to rule out any physical health causes, i.e. bladder infection, or weak bladder. In some children, their bladder muscles take longer to strengthen, boys especially. But it's not uncommon for little girls to get bladder infections, making it hard to control their urine output.
My niece was prone to this, but there are certain measures to take to lessen the infections from recurring, one of which is to shorten bath-time, and refrain from using bubble-bath, but the Dr. can advise better, IF this is the cause. If no physical cause is found, at least the visit would ease your mind.
I totally disagree with the previous poster's idea about making your daughter wear wet pants all day. In my opinion, it is an unhealthy and cruel way to "teach a lesson." After ruling out any physical causes, maybe you could switch to "pull-ups" or another brand of absorbent underwear, and purchase some absorbent pads to put inside them. This would allow her to use the toilet, but when she urinates, changing the pad would cut down on the cost of the pull-ups, and protect your furniture, also.
My last suggestion is to switch your award system. I agree that an award system is good to use, but your daughter may need more incentive. Maybe make a colorful chart listing the days of the week in a column, lines across with spaces for her to fill the line in with bright smiley face stickers and let her place the stickers on after every time she goes potty on the toilet, whether it's a BM or a void. When she goes in her pants, she gets a sad face sticker. At the end of the day, if she has more "happys" than "sads," she gets an award (doesn't have to be a sugar treat or food)---maybe an extra bed time story or a sugar free snack, an inexpensive dollar store prize drawn from a bag, i.e. small book, tablet, crayons, whatever. Even a special activity, like "Play-doh" night, or baking cookies together, or a special movie or activity of her choice. (Homemade recipe for play-doh is under one of my posts on this site.)
This method offers both short term and long term goals for her, and one which I used for my own kids and my daycare kids years ago. Good luck! (04/29/2007)
When my dd was potty training, all the other incentives didn't work, I finally resorted to money. LOL. I had to give her pennies and nickels if she went potty, and it finally worked. Hope this helps. (04/30/2007)
Hi. I have 5 kids, each trained differently. Have you tried a rubber pant over undies? The thick trainers work best. It just keeps things safe for you while they learn. Some will make a lot more mistakes than others. You have to be patient. (04/30/2007)
By all means, rule out any physical problems with infection, etc. I remember having problems with our last child...she would hold it until nap time or bed time when we put her in a diaper, and then let loose! When she was about 3 1/2, I finally told her that she could wet and BM in her pants all she wanted, but she had to change herself. She never wore another diaper, even to bed. Of course it was way past time for her to be trained, which was my fault.
The point is...sooner or later, your daughter WILL be trained, don't worry. Now, her little son is being trained, and for a BM (his main problem, now) he gets 4 or 5 green olives. If he has an accident, he looks so disappointed in himself and says, "No Olliss" On the other hand, he takes his teddy bear to the potty, and Teddy is fully trained. He gets pretend olives. (04/30/2007)
By Margie Minard
Put her in her underpants, not pampers trainers, etc. Do not resort to diapers even at night. Do not make a big deal when she goes, just quickly have her remove her own wet pants, and put on clean ones. She will wet the bed the first few nights, but she should call you to help - giving her the sense that being dry feels good. If at the end of a week she is still not trained, she is not ready. Be prepared to stay home with her for the week. Anytime you put her back in diapers for ANYTHING you are back at square one.
The thing to remember is you do not get mad if she wets herself, you also at this point do not reward her for going in the potty, you certainly do not give a different reward for BM's (making them more important). Give lots of praise when she succeeds- even give praise when she removes the wet clothes herself. If you want to give her incentive try this. Buy a big present, it doesn't have to be expensive, but big helps. Wrap it elaborately and tell her that after one week of dry panties, she can have the gift. And then stick to it - you will not help if you cave. (06/05/2007)