As a retired hairstylist after 35 years, here is my favorite little secret tip for a natural sun kissed lightening for your hair. This formula safely lightens gradually and it will not be an overnight shock change and once you reach your desired level you just stop doing it for awhile. Simply spray a 50/50 solution of 3% hydrogen peroxide (the kind in the brown bottle you buy at the pharmacy or market) on your wet hair after getting out of the shower, comb it through, and dry.
I have the same problem. I was very blonde as a child and it has gotten steadily darker over the years. Over the years, I have tried everything from full on blonde dye (don't do it, takes forever to grow out) to nothing at all. I actually got a compliment on my 100% natural hair, someone asked me what color it was :) But I really like to have it lighter, especially now that I'm getting more gray.
The best solution for me is to go and have a professional add highlights (streaks) of blonde to your hair. I go in every 4 months or so (usually before an event). She switches between partial and full highlight, depending on how it has grown out. It does get pricey but I have seen walk in salons offer deals or you might check out your local beauty school.
If you don't want to go a chemical route, there are some shampoos and treatments that will gently brighten and lighten your hair. I think there is a good one for bringing out blonde highlights by Aveda. I haven't seen many people express good luck with home peroxide or lemon juice. It seems to be unpredictable and very damaging to your hair.
Don't overdue it with the hydrogen peroxide, you don't want hair breakage. If it isn't light enough to your satisfaction wait one week and repeat. In this way you will give your hair a rest between chemical treatments.
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