My husband and I decided to make a turkey dinner for New Years Day. This is not unusual for the day. At Christmas, our grown-up daughter had her own plans which is OK with us. We decided turkey for New Year's, ham for Christmas.
Well, we bought the necessary makings for the dinner with the anticipation that our daughter was coming with the grandchildren. The night before, she canceled due to her new boyfriend visiting and planning the day differently. Alas, we ended up eating our dinner for 2 instead of for 6.
As a footnote, how would you have felt in this situation? The option was not there to invite him too. For fun, I took a picture of my dinner so I can remember that it did look delicious, and we were worth the trouble I went through.
Source: My true story
By Sheila from Ont. Canada
Well, in the greater scheme of things, I guess its not important, but since boyfriends come and boyfriends go, and family is forever, and I'm not one of the new, politically correct modern families that excuses everything, I would have felt hurt and thought it somewhat rude, to cancel the night before, especially knowing they knew you had spent money on food for them to eat. It's like "Oh, I suddenly got a better offer, so go sit in the corner until I need you again..." lol
Grown up or not, there's no substitute for good manners, but if it's any consolation, I think your dinner looks REALLY very good!
I agree with Jron. There are lots of times I would like to wash my hands of my oldest daughter's family, the only thing that keeps me from doing it is that I have an adult mentally handicapped daughter living with me and she is afraid she would never get to see her neices and nephews. At this time I deal with being used, but don't like it.
I also agree with Jron7667.
How sad for your grandchildren because I'll venture to bet that they were heartbroken they couldn't have turkey dinner with their grampa and grama :-( Not only was it rude of your daughter to do that to you and your hubby but she certainly wasn't thinking of the well being of her children :-(
I would have been really, really hurt and angry but the anger would have passed quickly when trying to find the positive side of the situation which would be a nice quiet dinner with hubby and lots of leftovers for the next few days ;-)
Oh, and ditto on your din din looking yummy ;-)
The only thing I can say is I feel sorry for you. As a mother I strive to do the best, and be the best I can. Sounds like you are doing this as well. Boyfriends come and go, but family is forever. Maybe one day she will wake up and appreciate her mother. I don't know what type of relationship you have with your daughter, if she is an only child. But remember if you let people treat you like a door mat. I wish you the best! Your dinner looked yummy!
It would have really ticked me off. But quite often my kids, when they were younger really didn't seem to care if I was got ticked off. Next time I'd make plans that didn't include them and say to her "you know I'd love to have you but we have made plans that are more definite and you may cancel finding someone else you'd rather spend the day with. You can say it nicely while getting your point across. If she really values her family a few times of this and she'll change her ways hopefully. My kids used to think my whole life revolved around them; I think they know better by now.
It's hard when kids are involved. They know it and take advantage of it.
I would be angry but I would have told her that is fine, but next time you would like to have more notice because you spent a lot of time cooking for several people. If I was you if she did this again then I would not make any more plans that included her. She is welcome to come home but you are not fixing big meals unless she is there to help. Maybe if she has to help she will stop and think again before she does cancel again. Your meal looks very good!
Sheila, that dinner looks scrumptious! I have to say, I think canceling plans with you and your husband in favor of her boyfriend is as rude as it is to cancel plans with women friends just because you got a date at the last minute. That just isn't cool.
Forgive her and move on; but if she does it again, there's some good advice here. The kids would like to see you both, too, it's not all about her. For that matter, if she's going out anyway, offer to sit for the kids.
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