I've been living with my fiance for over 2 years. She moved in with me due to her landlord not renewing her lease. She said she didn't want a free ride so I said 600 hundred a month, she said too much. So I said 400, she said ok. She has a cat and dog. Well she's not lived up to her part. I bought a house she said she would help. Well, no help there. She's bought food a couple of times.
Cheated a couple of times. I have taken her back. She now has a job where she travels and left the pets for me to take care of. She's sent a couple of dollars. Now, she's going on a trip for a week and said I am not invited meanwhile I've taken her on trips.
I've had couple time with her 2x in in 9 months. Am I crazy and stupid for letting her stay?
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I would tell her that while she is packing for her trip,to pack it all up,because if she doesn't,it will all be donated to charity or go in the garbage! She can board her dogs or you will take them to a shelter! Don't back down! She has used you too long now.YOU deserve better than this!
Unfortunately, you've hooked a "user". Tell her to pack her belongings, including her pets, and find somewhere else to live. She will not change, no matter what you say to her. Threats will not have an effect, so be strong and tell her to get out.
If the question is, are you crazy or stupid. Then you are most likely not stupid or crazy. Since you have endured such an attitude towards yourself for more than two years, then apparently you had/have strong feelings for her and most likely life with her was not so bad. Maybe you should have told her your complaints in time. Maybe she thought it didn't matter and that you didn't notice it all.
I believe you already knew the kind of answers that would be given before you ask the question.
Maybe you needed assurance that you could dissolve this relationship without thinking that others might not see it the same way?
Yes - you are being used but since you have taken this long to make the break you must have some type of feelings for her. Why not try one last time by discussing the issues with her?
If you give her a final date you need to be prepared to take steps to make it happen or you are just blowing smoke just as you may have done in the past.
This is never an easy thing to do and it takes true determination to follow through.
If you do decide to end the relationship you must be careful how you go about it. I don't know what state you live in but in California you'd have give her 3 day notice to pay or quit. Or 30 day notice to vacate. She could refuse to leave then you'd have a longer battle on your hands wherein she could end up staying for as much as 6 months.
Also, I'm a firm believer in once a cheater, always a cheater. Not only have I experienced it coming and going, but I've had friends who admit this fact.
Take care of you. Please look out after yourself like you would your mother or your sister. You deserve it.
She will always use you. Just so you know, as soon as the favors and money stop or even seem like they are stopping...she will be online trying to find the next guy she can leech off of. I've known bums and they will take you for everything you got. It's better to do it sooner than later. However, I'm not sure of her mental state and she could freak out on you if you try to kick her out all by yourself.
I wanted to mention. I went back and re-read your post. She cheated a couple of times? Ah, so she's already tried out the other guys pockets...and it seems they realized she's a bum and said 'no thanks'. She came running back to you. She knows it doesn't work on every person...and she will beg 10 times over to come back to you every time she cheats (those few times won't be the last). She will always be cheating on you because you could never ever give her the amount she needs and wants. And you shouldn't have to give her x amount of money or other items. A true person that loves you, wouldn't cheat, wouldn't use you...a true person would want to spend time with you and would always want to go on vacation with you. I'm sure you know this! We all do but we turn away from common knowledge like this because we are used to someone. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope for all the best for you. She's not your special someone...your special someone is still waiting for you somewhere.
She is using you for a free ride. Let her go.
Enough is enough. Time to say good riddance to bad rubbish.
You sound like a very responsible guy. Your heart is big. Now lets use more of your brain. She may want you to throw her out, or knows you would not. Even so she has rights and this could cost you if you do not do this by the Law. There are legal ways to do this without costing you up to 10 times . Whatever you decide , make sure you are protecting yourself and future.
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