Food Jokes

Food is a great topic for lots of jokes, both adult and children's. This is a guide about food jokes.
Ad

Solutions

Share on ThriftyFunThis guide contains the following solutions. Have something to add? Please share your solution!

0 found this helpful
May 12, 2008 Flag

Why did the man throw his buttered toast?

Because he wanted to watch the butterfly.

Ad
CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
May 12, 20080 found this helpful

GROAN ALERT LOL !!!!

ReplyWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Read More Comments

1 found this helpful
May 30, 2006 Flag

Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath and their favorite clothes hanging in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

Ad


Sam asked how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," their companion replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

Sam looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free, every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said their companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at Edith. "Well, where are the low fat and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," the companion replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

Sam pushed,"No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
Related Content(article continues below)


Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your crappy bran muffins. We could have been here 15 years ago!!"

By Terri from NV

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Flag
May 30, 20060 found this helpful

Good joke-a 'clean' one for a change!

ReplyWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes

0 found this helpful
March 3, 2006 Flag

Has anyone ever noticed that the only food that never goes up in price is "food for thought"?

By Robin from Washington, IA

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
March 3, 20060 found this helpful

Good one Robin. GG Vi

ReplyWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes

0 found this helpful
May 18, 2005 Flag

What did one pancake say to the other pancake?

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Read More...

0 found this helpful
March 19, 2005 Flag

How do you fix a broken pizza?

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Read More...

0 found this helpful
March 17, 2005 Flag

What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom?

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Read More...

0 found this helpful
March 1, 2005 Flag

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in a farmer's garden.

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Read More...

0 found this helpful
December 4, 2004 Flag

Q: Which is better, perfect contentment or a ham sandwich? A: A ham sandwich. Because nothing is better than perfect contentment but... a ham sandwich is better than nothing! By Anna

CommentWas this helpful?Helpful? Yes
Categories
Entertainment JokesMarch 27, 2014
Guides
Coroner
Coroner Jokes
Gift For Mother
A Gift for Mother Jokes
Crazy Joker Doctor
Hospital Jokes
Egg being tapped with a hammer.
Egg Jokes
More
🐰
Easter Ideas!
🍀
St. Patrick's Ideas!
Facebook
Pinterest
YouTube
Contests!
Newsletters
Ask a Question
Share a Post
Categories
© 1997-2017 by Cumuli, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Published by . Page generated on February 23, 2017 at 4:10:52 PM on 10.0.2.252 in 4 seconds. Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of ThriftyFun's Disclaimer and Privacy Policy. If you have any problems or suggestions feel free to Contact Us.
Loading Something Awesome!