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I have a 14 month old that won't stop crying. I have not changed her diet or routine, sometimes she is crying while I am holding her. I just don't know what to do anymore. It is causing stress between my bf and I. Can someone give any advice?
By Selena from Cambridge
Some good advice here about the teething, and the well baby checkup. I am sure your babys problem will clear up with time. Do be careful that your boyfriend doesn't become too frustrated with the crying. Sadly, child abuse does happen in that situation. Learn the signs to watch for and be alert. Best of luck to all of you.
Another thing to check is for an ear infection. My Baby went through this and I felt so bad because I did not realize at the time that his ear was badly infected. There were no signs other than the constant crying.Please take the baby to the doctor and have a check up.
Constant crying is not normal and can mean so many things. Even the Dr. missed the infection in the other ear and it was caught when I took him back because he still would not stop crying. The Baby could be in pain and this is the only way they have of letting you know. Good luck, I hope this will soon be O.K.
First take the child to the doctor, something serious could be wrong. Then check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Finally, how long have you had your BF? Is he causing your baby stress? Remember your baby MUST come first. You are your baby's protector.
I hate to bring this up but for years I worked with kids who had been molested. Most were molested by their mom's BF. please listen to your baby and keep your baby safe.
Did this start right after a vaccine? See a homeopath please. Study vaccine dangers and ingredients. See autism rates. vaclib.org. It even explains how you are not legally mandated to vaccinate for school when the time comes.
Teething. Ear infection. Fever from vaccination or something else. You likely should take the baby to a doctor or clinic. Tell the boyfriend to suck it up; if he giving you grief over this, dump him. A real man would be sympathetic, not causing additional problems.
First of all, get the child to a doctor pronto! If you have to, go to an Urgent Care facility. They have them in just about every city. If she rubs her ears during crying, it is most likely ear infection. Meantime, if you think it could be teething, take a wet, cold washcloth and let her chew on it, rinsing often to make it stay cool.
My daughter did the same thing years ago. You need to take the baby to the doctor because of this; no ifs, ands or buts about it! Your baby is trying to tell you something when she is crying. With me, it was my daughter's stomach too. Different vegetables and foods smashed up small enough for her to eat and even store bought strained baby foods caused gas in her little tummy causing her terrible gut wrenching, screaming pain. Poor thing, I feel sorry for both of you.
PLEASE take her to her doctor or the hospital emergency room, if you have too. They have medicine's for this that will help calm your baby's stomach down and your nerves too, I promise.
I have been using baby magic tea for my infant since he was a few weeks old to treat his colic, constipation, reflux and other tummy issues. The tea is great for all these problems and is totally safe.
Anyone know the difference between gas drops and gripe water? My baby is crying, arching his back, and I'm trying to see if either of these would help.
I looked on the yahoo answers at the following site.....
I have found the best way to get rid of gas is to put some warm water, not hot, in a bottle, and then give it to the baby. Soon the warm water will cause the gas bubbles to come to the top or the bottom whichever the case may be, no pun intended. Also hold the baby in a over your lap and gently pat it's bottom and that helps gas to come out also. A nurse showed me how to do this move.
Sugar water will break up the gas bubbles. But, I hope you sought advice way before you posted here...that takes too long for most problems to be solved. Good luck.
If your baby is burping a lot, spitting up, has a hard, distended belly, or farting, then gas drops would help. Gas drops target the gas in your babys stomach, which soothes and relaxes their digestive system. The makers of Colic Calm just introduced some gas drops, called Tummy Calm. They have a lot of info on their site which can help you decide if you should use them:
Wikipedia defines gripe water as a home remedy for infants with colic, gastrointestinal discomfort, teething pain, reflux and other stomach ailments. It can be all natural, but you need to read the ingredients to make sure that it doesnt contain baking soda (sodium bicarbonte) which can upset your babys tummy even more. Also make sure it doesnt contain alcohol or sugar.
I used to use gripe water for colic with my babies, which seemed to help. It was a brand name called "Gripe Water". It tasted something like dill. My babies were never in such distress as yours, however. If this is a condition that your child is in often, you may need to consult a doctor.
My 14 month old daughter is crying for no reason (or so it seems). I have tried everything, rocking, singing, playing. She does this after her nap and she has eaten and had something to drink. What can I do? She is also not sleeping well at night.
Michelle from Des Moines, Iowa
Sounds like tummy trouble......definitely a trip to the doctors. She may be swallowing too much air when she is drinking & eating. Try cutting her food into much smaller pieces and see if she will drink thru a straw. And if she is a mouth breather (watch her when she is asleep > she will breath only through her mouth and not her nose > she may also snore) she will definitely be swallowing a lot of air. Hence when she wakens, she will have "gas" pains in her tummy. These may be some things you may want to consider. Definitely go to the Doctors though, and have her checked from stem to stern.
WHY WASTE TIME ASKING US? Take her to the doctor.
Children and animals do not cry for no reason. You need to have your child checked by a pediatrician. If the doctor cannot find a medical reason for the crying, it may mean she just needs to be held. Holding for psychological reasons is important. I am saying that holding is important enough to be done in and of itself. (grin) All children need to feel love and this is one of the few ways a young child can understand it.
Take her to her pediatrician!
Could be lactose (milk) intolerance. Symptoms can show up some 5 hours later.
The cure is a dairy free diet or use Lactaid pills. Ask pediatrician because the cure via diet rather than pills may be recommended at this age.
Could also be an allergy to wheat and other foods.
The pediatrician may suggest an elimination diet. You omit a food group for a week, then see if symptoms come back when it is re-introduced. Must do careful bookkeeping of what was eaten and the time.
You gave us very little information, Like: Is she healthy the rest of the day? Do her symptoms change when she eats different things? When she wakes up from her nap is she grumpy or is she "fine"? Does she poop regularly, or is she constipated? Can you distract her & stop her crying with a bottle & a video, or does she STILL continue to cry? If we had the answers to these questions it would help
Most kids are grumpy when they first wake up, but you can usually stop their crying at this age with a bottle or the breast & at the same time, reading them a book or putting a kiddy video on the TV. If you can't distract her to stop her crying, then THAT'S when I'd start worrying... & then she needs to see a Doctor!
---> I assume if you haven't taken her to a doctor yet, then she must be "normal" the rest of the day? Am I right or wrong?
Is the "something" you give her to drink, acidic? Is her food mostly sugary? Do you combine fruit with meat? Do you feed her eggs? All of these things can cause an upset tummy.
I"d go strictly back to an all oatmeal cereal diet, and a little almond milk, along with Baby Formula Acidolphylus from the Health Food Store. It's good to neutralize any acidic condition, and even allow any stomach bacteria the baby might have picked up, to help with nausea. Try a 1/ teaspoon of Cola Syrup from Walgreens, if you have that store nearby.
I'd suspect baby food desserts/fruits sine they have so much corn sweetener/corn starch, if you were to analyze the food. After about two weeks of oatmeal with only a tiny amount of honey for sweetener and the Baby Formula Acidolphylus, and organic sweetened Vanilla Almond milk to drink, if she improves, then CAREFULLY and SLOWLY begin to introduce ONE new food/drink every WEEK to her again. If she starts up the crying, reexamine what she has just eaten/drunk. Avoid giving meat mixed with fruit, EVER, because fruit decomposes fast, producing gases, while the meat stays in the stomach/bowels up to two days, trapping the fruit gasses, causing terrible cramps. Loosen her diaper
after she eats and do NOT lie her down, but rather let her sit up for at least 45 minutes, doing most anything, until you solve her dilemma. If there is no luck with any of this, your child may need medical treatment/meds. Children are so resilient that it takes a lot to need medical care that a mother cannot solve. Keep trying a while. Avoid giving her any OTHER foods/drink until you solve it or get medical care. May God bless and help you learn what is her problem. : )
Like everyone said, it could be as simple as an upset tummy,colic, ear infection, etc. Some babies do go through spells where they cry for seemingly no reason & get over it, my 2nd child did around that age.
That being said, take her to her doctor & have them check her out, they can probably give you needed reassurance. But if they say they can't find anything wrong,& she continues doing this, have them run blood tests - especially a CBC(complete blood count) to be safe.
I'm really not trying to scare you, most of the time it's nothing serious & she will probably get over this. But I want to tell you my story about a crying baby.
My 3rd child started having crying spells around 18 months of age. Usually in afternoon or evening, but not always. He cried inconsolably, sometimes loud, sometimes more of a low moaning hum, sometimes for a half hour, sometimes for hours on end. He'd wake up crying at night. Nothing soothed him except to walk the floor with him (my hubby & I ended up with severe tennis elbow from this) until he quit or fell asleep.
Of course this usually never happened during pediatrician hours, or they couldn't fit him in. When I did get him in, or take him to after hours clinic, they looked in eyes, ears & mouth & usually couldn't find anything wrong. A couple of times he had an ear infection. They said probably colic since it was afternoon/evening crying. Since he & I seemed to catch & pass to each other every cold bug his 2 older siblings brough home from school, they said maybe that made him feel bad. A couple of times it was suggested he was just spoiled & wanted to be held-even though I told them he sounded like he was hurting when he was crying.
No other symptoms (except passing that darn cold back & forth). When he wasn't crying, he was a normal,healthy,active toddler.
This continued from Sept. - Nov., with multiple visits to after hours clinic & a couple to his doctor during the day. Then early Dec., a doctor gave me a scathing lecture on wasting valuable time they could be using on people who were REALLY sick instead of wasting time on an hysterical mother. Needless to say, that stopped the medical visits. I knew I wasn't hysterical(I had 2 older kids, not much upset me), I just hoped it was colic he would outgrow, like they said.
We went out of state for Xmas. By the time we came back New Year's Day, he'd had an intestinal virus, then caught another cold. He wasn't shaking the cold & looked pale & drawn.
This time the Pediatrician took one look & sent him for blood tests, thinking he was anemic from being sick.
Not hardly!, that blood test saved his life! My baby had Leukemia, blood cancer! The cancer specialist said he'd probably had it for several months.It causes bone pain. It causes the spleen to swell, which is painful. He HAD been crying because he was hurting.
He never had any of the 'typical' symptoms. And not one single time did any of the doctors do any blood tests - or they would have known. Not once did they touch his stomach(even though they thought he had colic), or they would've felt his enlarged spleen.
The simple CBC showed he had sky-high levels of white blood cells & almost no red blood cells.
Fortunately, after several transfusions & 2 1/2 years of chemo, my son is now a healthy 12 1/2 year old getting ready to celebrate 8 years this month since he finished treatment.
Once again, I'm not trying to scare you & am sorry if I did. My point is to trust your instincts & also that if your baby continues, & the doctor can't find anything or isn't doing standard exam or testing, insist on it just to be safe.
I have a 10.5 month old baby boy, who doesn't sleep through the night, not even close. My husband and I can't handle him crying. It's so sad. :( He is my 4th child and my husbands first child.
I know I screwed up in the begining not letting him fall asleep on his own, but my husband needed his sleep because his job is dangerous if he's tired. Xavier (the Baby) is nursing still at nap time and bed time and it seems like every hour some nights. I know there isn't much milk for that kind of nursing so he is using me for a big soother. He doesn't have a different soother.
I've been trying to up his solid food intake and lower his fluid intake. I would like to dicontinue nursing as he bites me often with those razor sharp teeth, I always give in though because he refuses to bottle feed and screams his lungs out when people are trying to sleep. Then I just want to cry for him.
This is our sleep routine. Any where from 7:30-10:00 pm he falls asleep, usually while I nurse him. I put him in his bed and go to my bed then he wakes up in 1-4 hours later. I get up take him to a bed in his room, nurse him. It is my plan to leave him when he falls asleep but I'm sleeping long before he is. Then he wakes up more times then I can count and I'm rolling over from one side to the other nursing him ALL NIGHT.
I have tried getting up with him and nursing him in the living room and then putting him back in his bed but he wakes up over and over again. It takes me up to 2 hours to get him back to his bed just to have him wake up an hour later. I have been advised to let him scream it out, I have tried that during his afternoon nap but the poor little guy will cry and cry sitting in his bed start to fall over and jerk himself up. I've left him for 30 minutes or I'll go in every few minutes, lay him down, kiss him but it just doesn't work and it rips my heart out. So I'll pick him up and he falls asleep right away but I can't put him down at all for his whole nap because now he doesn't want to be let go of.
If someone has any ideas to help me fix this mess, please write. Thank so much for taking time from your busy days to help me.
Brenda from Canada
Have you tried a white noise like a box fan or hair dryer. The constant sound really helped our baby sleep longer. When she wakes up too soon, the sound lulls her back to sleep. Worked like a dream for us. We since have bought a sound machine with ocean waves. My Friend recommended a little portable sound machine she found online at sleepybees.com that attaches to the car seat or stroller, Sleepy Bee. Now naps away from home are so much easier.
White noise definitely helps but oh my goodness not a hair dryer you'll burn your house down! Maybe try a more nipple shaped pacifier. This is not the best idea but lay him down with a bottle if he can hold it on his own. Then just do that less and less he won't starve overnight and ear plugs.
I believe you may need to let him cry it out , but I suggest calling a family member or close friend that you trust to help you with the "heartbreaking want to run to his rescue" urge.....you WILL need their support in this time ....with each child being individuals, the time frame is unknown, but asking for a week of their time may help. Oh, yes and maybe giving hard working hubby a special gift of peace, with a week long rest in a nice bed n breakfast.....for bnb's usually offer set times for meals with guests being served together.....usually prices include all meals and stay period.....research is pretty easy online in your community.....just suggesting. As for your little angel, you WILL definitely need support of someone not of your own household to help.....my daughter came home to california from Missouri with her 15 month old and a VERY SPOILED TO CONSTANT CODDLING 6.5 month old....WOW was that a rude awakening....the "baby" was held by her aunt 24/7 since birth and WOULD NOT PUT HER DOWN.....personally, that was equally abusive as shaking her, this poor little baby not only had a hard time deciding who her mommy was .....but equally trying to understand. Mommy can't hold her 24/7 due to having another baby as well......trauma, trauma, trauma.....just watching my daughter's guilt ridden face was just as heartwrenching....I really wanted to cry for her.....but I, moreso ,needed to support her....so I set up the stroller with her favorite drinks ,snacks, fruits and the older baby's favorites, etc......and sent her down the road to the school ball field for 2 hours......by the time she got back , our little angel was exhausted from crying and was fast asleep.....and slept all night long for the first time in her short little life and has since.....sometimes our bad habits must be dealt with in Grace and patience while keeping a peaceful, watching eye......just sit back and let them get it ALL OUT!!!!! God bless and good luck....nis
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I have a 10.5 month old baby boy, who doesn't sleep through the night, not even close. My husband and I
can't handle him crying. It's so sad. He is my 4th child and my husband's first child.
I know I screwed up in the beginning not letting him fall asleep on his own, but my husband needed his
sleep because his job is dangerous if he's tired. Xavier (the baby) is nursing still at nap time and bed
time and it seems like every hour some nights. I know there isn't much milk for that kind of nursing so
he is using me for a big soother. He doesn't have a different soother.
I've been trying to up his solid food intake and lower his fluid intake. I would like to discontinue
nursing as he bites me often with those razor sharp teeth. I always give in though because he refuses to
bottle feed and screams his lungs out when people are trying to sleep. Then I just want to cry for him.
This is our sleep routine. Any where from 7:30-10:00 pm he falls asleep, usually while I nurse him. I
put him in his bed and go to my bed then he wakes up in 1-4 hours later. I get up take him to a bed in
his room, nurse him. It is my plan to leave him when he falls asleep, but I'm sleeping long before he is.
Then he wakes up more times then I can count and I'm rolling over from one side to the other nursing him
I have tried getting up with him and nursing him in the living room and then putting him back in his
bed, but he wakes up over and over again. It takes me up to 2 hours to get him back to his bed just to
have him wake up an hour later. I have been advised to let him scream it out, I have tried that during
his afternoon nap, but the poor little guy will cry and cry sitting in his bed, start to fall over and
jerk himself up. I've left him for 30 minutes or I'll go in every few minutes, lay him down, kiss him,
but it just doesn't work and it rips my heart out. So I'll pick him up and he falls asleep right away,
but I can't put him down at all for his whole nap because now he doesn't want to be let go of.
If someone has any ideas to help me fix this mess, please write. Thank so much for taking time from
your busy days to help me.
Brenda from Canada
I really think your milk is not staving off his hunger and, of course, babies quickly learn what works.
I read recently about late solid feedings. i.e. feed him solids around 7, then bottle, he'll probably
fall asleep, then get him up at around 10:30 or 11:00, feed him again and another bottle, don't wake him
just feed him.
We cured our crier with an automatic baby swing.
Could it be teething that is keeping him up?
The nursing all night idea just doesn't work, obviously. I would also add the formula that you are
using to his cereal so he gets used to the taste. He could be having gas problems, so I would avoid cow
milk, except possibly fat free Lactaid milk. Cow milk is for cow babies! I would be careful about fruits
and green vegetables, and no sugar!
When you put him to bed don't stay in the room. He does need to cry it out and learn to fall asleep.
No music, no stimuli.
How come we can sleep with someone, but babies have to be alone? (03/10/2006)
Oh boy just went through that! My second was like that, I nursed him to 9 months because of seizures, but
his teeth came in late (first two at 9 months) and he started biting. I tried bottles and he threw them.
But I gave him a sippy cup by Nuby with the silicone top, so he could suck like a nipple and he was fine.
Not nursing was especially hard because we didn't know what he wanted. I basically weaned him cold turkey
and he was fine as long as he had that sippy cup and drank with big brother. He ate three meals a day and
snacks, plus 24 oz of formula/breast milk. He slept through the night fine with Orajel.
THe problem with nursing them late at night is that they start to expect that and so do their
stomachs. They need the mommy milk, but are starting to depend more on solids. I am willing to bet his
teeth bother him more than his stomach, especially if he is growing like he should. Try giving him
baby/jr Tylenol at night, if it is safe for him, and save your breasts! Babies know best when they need
something different, as I am sure the others let you know! My husband works graveyards and I
wholeheartedly sympathize with your situation. If the doctor says he is okay growth and nutrition wise,
DO NOT nurse him any more at night! It'll hurt for a night or two, but is worth it when everyone can
As I read through again, he sounds like a cuddler! Give him a teddy bear (he may pick his own) and wear
it under your shirt for awhile to get your scent. If you are worried about suffocation, you can move it
away when he falls asleep. My older son had an elephant and he would suck on the trunk! (03/10/2006)
Have you tried keeping him up during the day so he is good and sleepy later. I agree too with feeding him
a solid meal late in the evening. Most babies at 10 months (or used to be when I was a young mother) took
only one short nap after lunch, not longer than two hours. The rest of the day, try to keep him awake. If
he attempts to fall asleep, keep him occupied. It's worth a little extra time playing with him for a few
days during the day, to get him to sleep nights and the rest of the family is probably suffering for the
loss of sleep too. (03/10/2006)
Our third was an "all night nurser". I tried much of what you have and a few more of the "solid" food
ideas. The best thing that worked was to choose a couple nights when we weren't working the next day, We
put her between us in bed and snuggled her, but didn't let her nurse. When she wanted to nurse I lay with
my back to her and dad snuggled her while she screamed bloody murder. The first night was hard (ripped my
heart out). The second night was better. The third night she slept right through. We tried leaving her in
her bed to scream, but like your little guy she then became afraid of being abandoned. In bed with us she
felt safe and secure even though the new restrictions were not to her liking. Once she was past the
screaming part, she slept a few nights with her sister and then alone just fine. (03/10/2006)
It sounds like he is dependent on you to help him sleep and he'll need to learn how to sleep on his own,
like the rest of us did. It's a tough process to teach him how to sleep on his own, but there are a lot
of things kids don't like to do that they have to do (take baths, eat vegetables, etc.). I highly
recommend the Healthy Sleep, Happy Child (I think that's what it's called) book. Most books I've read
have said that after 3 nights of sleep training, they learn. You might want to try the modified approach
of letting him cry for 15 min. and then soothe and then the next time 30 min. It's a lot of work in the
beginning, but so worth it for you and him. We did this with my son when he was 5 or 6 months, and
sometimes had to repeat it every so often, but overall he's been a good sleeper since then, and he's a
happy child (and we're happy, too!) Most people that I've talked with have had to do this.
Good luck! Remember that what you're doing is good for him. Babies need lots of uninterrupted sleep.
Also, my son likes to have music going at night and his teddy bears. I think it's a lot to expect a child
to not have anything to soothe them at night.
By Mary Lou
When my son was like that I put cereal in his bottle and he would go right to sleep. (03/10/2006)
My husband put his foot down with my last child. He did the same thing. My husband had to literally hold
me in the bed so I wouldn't "rescue" my son from crying. It took 45 minutes the first night, but was
quicker the next few nights. It was hard, but after I found out he was healthy, I realized he was just
spoiled. Cuddle with him all you want during the day, but they have to learn at night, kind of like
puppies have to learn. You would have to let a puppy cry at night until he learned it's time to sleep at
Good luck. (03/10/2006)
Please trust your instincts. If letting him cry it out seems wrong to you, then maybe that isn't the
right thing for you and him. Get on one of the attachment parenting groups they discuss this topic
endlessly and you will receive a lot of support.
Blessings to you all.
By TC in MO
I agree with Mary Lou. My little girl had colic for several weeks during which she slept on my chest or
in her car seat. As soon as that cleared up, she had months of ear infections until finally at 9 mos. we
had tubes put in. So basically I had to teach her how to sleep in a crib altogether, much less through
the night. I also used the 3 night sleep method. It took about 3 hrs. a night. This is not for day naps!
I would be outside her room and when she cried I would go in and just quietly lay her back down over and
over stretching out the time. As little stimulation as possible, lights, talking, etc. You have to teach
your child a new way to sleep without depending on you. Both of you will be happier in the long run.
Have you spoken to a doctor perhaps the baby has colic. I realize your husband needs proper sleep, but a
baby is a gift and reality and I noticed you said "I" have a baby and not "we". Babies can also pick up
tension and stress so if you are tense being awake each hour. I would be also, that can further cause
I would seek help from a doctor maybe calling and talking to the nurse, as this pattern does not seem
healthy for you, baby, and family. Good luck let us know how it goes. (03/10/2006)
I had a similar problem and found out much too late that our little one had what is known as 'silent' ear
infections. They don't get a fever and so you don't realize they have it. I was doing the same thing
thinking it was a food problem, but that was exacerbating the problem because I was nursing and feeding
her so much that it was then giving her a stomach ache. She also would not take a pacifier, but would
nurse and nurse. I think the sucking some how helped the ear feel better. It took me changing doctors to
find out that it was her ears and once we got tubes in her ears she was fine. We still had to train her a
little to stay in her own bed and whatnot, but then it was with much less crying and pain. Good luck! I
know how trying this problem can be on the nerves, family, and marriage! (03/11/2006)
By Jen in UT
Here's what worked with my sons. I would go into their room and talk softly and comfort them from outside
the crib, but wouldn't pick them up. I let them know that I was there, wanted to help them, but they saw
that crying wouldn't get the breast or the rocking chair, so it wasn't really worth it. This also only
took a few days, but I feel it was more humane than letting a baby cry.
I read once that babies need 'a womb with a view' for about 9 months, in other words, to be able to be
held and nursed most of the time. Your baby is just past that age. You and the baby both will feel better
if you handle this gently. (03/11/2006)
I highly recommend a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", by Marc Weissbluth. He is an MD
whose specialty is pediatric sleep. It explains pediatric sleep and how it develops from newborns
through the teen years, and how you can promote it or unwittingly undermine it.
Unfortunately, it's not really organized in a way that makes it useful as a quick-answer reference, but
it's invaluable for giving you a good overview of what this sleep thing is all about. It really helped me
cut through all the old-wives-tales nonsense that floats around everywhere about how to get your child
Good luck! (03/11/2006)
We went through something similar with our youngest son, who is now 10. After we moved from our home to
an apartment when he was six months old, our son began waking every hour to two hours, although two hours
was a relief for us. Prior to this, he slept from 8:00pm to 8:00am, and he was completely nursing still.
He also had a tiny rash that the Drs. just kept saying was nothing. I knew they were wrong and suspected
an allergy, although they denied it. After going back to visit my folks five months later, the rash went
away. When we went home, it came back. We then left to visit my husband's mom, and the rash got better.
By now, he was on a cup during the day, and we switched to a cup at night at my MIL's house. He also
refused a bottle.
Anyhow, my husband ripped up the carpet at the apartment, and when we went back, the baby was fine.
The baby could have an allergy, especially if you or your husband, or any other family has allergies. We
just found out two years ago, the extent of our son's allergies. They are so numerous that I don't know
how he has been able to survive. Since finding all of this out, though, he has been such a pleasant
person to be with, whereas before, he was very temperamental. It was so extreme at times, that we had even
sought counseling for him, which never helped. Thankfully, he was never put on any meds. Now we don't
use chemicals when he is home, and we watch what he eats. It takes getting used to, but it is so worth it.
At his age he doesn't need any food or milk at night, so this is all about him not being independent
enough to fall asleep on his own. You're not doing your son any favours by making him so dependent on
you. He's got to learn that he's competent enough to get himself to sleep. You've taught him that he
needs you to get to sleep, when in fact he doesn't; you need to be with him because you can't handle his
crying. It's not fair to make him so dependent just because you feel guilty about doing this to him for
so long. Instead neither one of you gets a good night's sleep and you keep dragging it on. You don't have
to leave him alone wailing by himself, you can gradually wean him by first giving up the nursing at
night, but staying with him until he sleeps, then only staying for a while and even leaving him with a
toy or something to occupy himself until he's ready to fall asleep, etc. It may seem like forever (he may
be quite stubborn at first since this has been going on so long), but you've got to remind yourself that
this is what is best for him as well as for the rest of the family and even if it takes an hour or two
the first night. He will eventually go to sleep and within a couple of days he'll be able to put himself
to sleep peacefully for the rest of his life. Isn't a few difficult days worth having him happy for the
rest of his childhood? (03/11/2006)
I recommend checking out: Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn. There is a website by that name which
features a parent forum. You can talk to other parents there. Your son can only communicate by crying and
it is possible that you are not picking up what he is trying to say.
Check with your pediatrician to rule out anything physical. Create a bedtime routine and stick to it.
Same time every night. Some suggestions: Warm bath, warm milk in a sippy cup (this does work) and bedtime
snack, read to him, soft music in his room, night light, stuffed animals, glow-in-the-dark stars or even
a loud ticking clock. Brainstorm with his grandparents and other parents. And try anything and
everything, maybe even, and I may take flack for this, Benadryl to get him started. Talk to Dr. about it
Also, you might want to look around his room after dark and see if there are reflections that bug him.
Try covering the windows, or moving his crib. This was a problem for one of my kids. There are some good
books on this topic out there too. Hang in there. They want to sleep all the time as teenagers.
Sedating your baby with drugs is not only lazy parenting, but can also be dangerous and it might not even
From Lane France, pediatrician
"sedating medications such as Benadryl don't always have the calming effect you want , some babies
get really revved up. Even testing the drug before your trip isn't foolproof. The same medication can
make your baby sleepy one day and hyperactive the next. Occasionally, the reaction can be far more
serious. I know of one baby who stopped breathing after being sedated on a plane flight, and the pilot
had to make an emergency landing to get him to the hospital. The baby was fine, but his parents were
Why put your child at risk when there are other methods to deal with the problem? (03/15/2006)
Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and author of books on infant sleep, said it is an "old school"
practice to use cold and allergy medications to sedate babies, but even using a small amount of drugs is
dangerous. Young babies need to awake easily to protect themselves from dangers like choking when they
spit up. The sedative interferes with that natural waking mechanism, Sears said.
Sharon Dabrow, associate professor of pediatrics at the University of South Florida, said some
pediatricians do advise parents to use appropriate doses of Benadryl to sedate children who are at least
12 months old. Dabrow doesn't recommend it. "Our society is so wrapped up around medications being a fix
for anything," she said. "To be using it (Benadryl) on a 3-month-old is just horrible."
New York pediatrician Dr. Laura Popper tells The Early Show, infants should never be given medication
to make them sleep. She says, "The only person who should be administering anything should be in an
operating room and it should be an anesthesiologist. There are no sleep medications for babies."
From the makers of Benadryl (note this is for babies who get the Benedryl from breastmilk - the
effects are much greater if given directly!): Infants are especially sensitive to the effects of
antihistamines, and serious side effects could occur in a breast-feeding baby. Benadryl is not
recommended if you are breast-feeding. Do not take Benadryl without first talking to your doctor if you
are nursing a baby.
By benadryl worries
Hi. I too have an infant, born on X'mas Day 2005.
I credit this website and the books written by a darling lady named Tracy Hogg for helping teach me to
soothe my baby.
The website is http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/ (run by volunteers). Tracy Hogg wrote 3 amazingly
insightful Baby Whisperer books which you can get at a bookstore or on the internet. Unfortunately Tracy
passed away last year from cancer, but her advice in the books is spot on.
So good luck to you and your baby.
John-John's Happy Mummy (04/07/2006)
My heart was breaking when I read your message. Please consider putting your baby on a schedule. I
received a book written by Gina Ford called "The New Contented Little Baby Book" from Amazon.com and it
works like a charm. My first child was able to sleep through the night after his 10:30PM feed and wake up
at 7AM since he was 10 weeks old. My second child is only 5 weeks old and wakes up only once since she
was one week old. This book helped us out tremendously. My in-laws said it's cruel to put a baby on a
routine, but it works! Babies love consistency. Please consider reading the book. Use it as a guideline.
Good luck. (04/09/2006)
I have to say that as you know every child is different. My 1st slept through the night at 2 weeks, 2nd 2
months, 3rd 10 1/2 months. My youngest is now 12 1/2 months and I can lay him in his crib and turn on his
music and he goes to sleep with no fussing. I truly think that sometimes no matter what you do all things
happen in due time. I really sympathize because by this age it's beyond tiring and frustrating.
By mom 0f 3
Just Leave a sip bottle of water in the crib.
Our boy wakes up two or 3 times in the night, takes a sip of water, and goes back to sleep. No problem.
He is perfectly fine, rested and charming.
Pity how few parents realize this simple solution. They leave water out for the dog and cat, but leave
none out for the child. Hmph! (02/24/2007)
All is well at about 1.5 yrs old he started sleeping through the night. I let him cry it out at nap times
for a few days. Then he was going down fine for naps. Oh yeah I found him a soother that he really likes.
Then I stopped jumping up to get him every time he cried at night and most of the time he fell back to
sleep. Now he sleeps through the night more often then not. Now I'm no longer a zombie. Thanks so much
for all your help. (02/25/2007)
By Brenda from Canada