My cat, Lexi, I got from a friend a couple months ago. She's three-and-a-half years old, and she's spayed and declawed (front and back).
She originally came from my friend's parents' house. They are grandparents, and they had her declawed completely so she wouldn't scratch the grandchildren. However, she ended up not getting along with their dogs (the dogs would try to play with her, and scared her to death). So, they had to get rid of her. They gave her to my friend, who kept her for a month but eventually had to get rid of her too - they have a small place and two much larger cats that have their claws. Their cats were used to roughhousing with each other, and Lexi couldn't handle it, so she had to go. So, I got her back in October.
I have three other cats - all are females, all are smaller than she. One of them tries to befriend her, another is curious of her but scared to death of her, and the third just avoids her altogether. She is scared of all three.
The one that tries to befriend her is the smallest of all four. She is still a kitten (DOB Mar 21, 05), so she tends to play by chasing and romping around.
The problem here is that Lexi recently started peeing in my bed. My bed seems to be the place she is happiest, so I can't go and make her stay away from there. It is her sanctuary - where she feels safest. When she is chased by the other cat (Lily), it's to my bed that Lexi runs.
I have no clue what to do. Getting rid of any of the cats is not an option.
As above - she probably needs a very soft style of kitty litter - I don't know what's available over in the US but I would be tempted to use just plain soft dirt for a while and gradually mix in kitty litter to get her used to it - again maybe keep her away in her own room for a while until she adjusts - she may take a fairly long while to do this and may never really be comfortable with her fellow felines. Good luck
We routinely foster cats for the local SPCA and use Feliway to help all the cats get adjusted. It's a calming cat hormone that help ease cats through transitions. PetSmart carries it as a spray and as a plug-in diffuser that lasts up to 30 days.
You might also try putting Lexi's food/water/litter box in your bedroom and keeping the other cats out. It may take a few weeks/months, but she will adjust eventually and start using the litter box again.
You need to protect the bed with a plastic sheet or something water proof so the smell can be cleaned away. Can she be shut in the room with her litter til she gets more comfortable with you and her new home? This poor kitty has been very traumatized by loosing all her claws and has to get used to the idea and you. Also has to loose the idea the bed is a place to releave herself does she like the litter you use? It might be possible that she would like a litter softer on her tender toes. It takes several years for the paws to fully heal on the inside so remain tender to touch or if she lands on them wrong or the scratching in the box. I give you great credit to take her in and give this helpless little kitty a good home. Give her time and lots of love and a rubber sheet under a blanket that is hers. Hope some of the ideas help to get kitty in her box. I have a few that don't think they have to always use the box so get a reminder in a cage with the box for a day. It works quite well don't hurt them just a wake up to where they are supose to go potty.
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